Title: The Best I Ever Was
Author: kaly
Email: razrbkr@juno.com
Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/kalyw/
Warnings: angst
Classification: drama
Summary: Niobe's reaction to learning of the events of season five.

Feedback: please? :)

notes: okay, this came to me because after watching Long Live The King, I'm more convinced that ever that Iolaus and Niobe were meant for each other, in a very West Side Story sort of way. This is post season five, so you're warned to back out now if you're not into that. I swore to myself not to write anything like this, but Punchy had other ideas. Please send me your thoughts on it! ~~kaly

disclaimer: not mine, wish they were! they belong to ren pic and usa alliance productions. i'm making no money from this story :-)

The Best I Ever Was

The spring was new, and the land was blooming when the messenger walked into the throne room. After receiving his message, tears brimmed the Queen's dark eyes. Clutching the message in her hand to her chest, she quickly fled the room. Behind her, Hector's knowing eyes followed her retreat and he sent the messenger on his way.

In her flight, Niobe paid little attention to the startled glances that were cast her way. Instead, she pressed on until she reached her bedchamber. Slamming the door shut behind her, she dropped the message from her shaking hand and fell onto the bed.

She hadn't moved when a knock on the door startled her from her shock. "My Queen," Hector said, bowing his head as he walked in. The older man knew that only one thing could shake the strong woman he held as his queen so badly. "Are you all right?"

Niobe raised her sad eyes to look up at Hector. "It must be some mistake." She paused, glancing down at the crumpled paper. "I can't have lost him again."

Hector kneeled on one knee before Niobe. "Iolaus?"

Her lower lip trembling, she nodded her head almost imperceptibly. "Hercules thought I would want to know . . ."

"I'm so sorry," Hector offered, although he doubted any words could reconcile her grief.

Niobe blinked, struggling against her tears. "After what happened the last time we were together," she whispered, a faint smile on her fair features, "I would almost swear he was immortal."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

The queen shook her head. "Not right now, I think I'd like to be alone." Hector nodded, and had just turned to leave the room when she added, "I told him before that the best I ever was, was with him." Hector turned to look back at Niobe when she paused in thought. "It's still true, Hector. It always will be," she finished sadly. Hector nodded again, a feeling of loss for a friend washing over his own heart. As he closed the door, he heard a sob rip from Niobe. He knew the extent of her grief was proportional to the depths of her love for Iolaus. A plan in mind, he hurried down the hallway to a nearby bedchamber.

Niobe hadn't paid attention to the passage of time since she had picked up a pillow and clutched it against her shaking chest. Losing Orestes had been hard, when she had believed Iolaus to be dead before, it had broken her heart. Now she could only feel an empty place in her heart where she always held him, and the love that was never allowed to be.

A soft tap on the door caused her to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "Enter," she called as strongly as she could manage.

The door pushed open, and she caught sight of Hector quietly walking away when a small blond head poked through the doorway. "Mommy?"

Niobe's heart constricted, seeing the toddler rushing into the room. "Come on in, Sweetie," she said to the child, laying the pillow down. After he rushed across the room to her bed side, she reached down and picked him up. Sitting him beside her, she brushed his curled locks from his eyes.

"Mommy sad?" the little boy asked, his wide blue eyes searching her gaze.

She smiled, overwhelming love colliding with the grief in her heart. "Mommy will be okay, Sweetheart." She pulled the toddler into her lap and into a warm hug. A single tear tracking down her cheek, she whispered into his hair, mostly to herself. "You were my gift, little one. As long as I have you, I'll survive."

Pulling back, she admired the blond beauty before her. Although she would never know for sure, there had never been any doubt in her heart whose little boy this was. Niobe had no question that Iolaus would have been a wonderful father. She felt a pang of guilt at having kept such a precious secret from him.

"I love you, Baby," she said softly.

The little boy giggled, and Niobe's heart swelled at the familiar sound. "Luv' you, Mommy," he said, a brilliant smile on his face and he snuggled back into her embrace.

Smiling through her tears, Niobe glanced skyward. "The best I ever was, was with you, Iolaus. And I have the proof right here." A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she breathed, "I'll always love you."

The End