Title: Inner Resolve
Author: kaly (razrbkr@juno.com)
Homepage: Kalynn's Fan Fiction - XFiles, Profiler, Star Wars: TPM, Hercules, Young Hercules, XMen:
http://www.oocities.org/kalyw
Rating: PG
Archive: m_a, if you have permission go for it.
Classification: series story, angst
Series: Inner Strength Series, # 9
Warnings: AU (compared to JA), knowledge of previous stories in series needed.
Summary: Qui-Gon disappears while on his mission. Back home, Elyzabe, Mace and Obi-Wan wait and worry before taking action.

Feedback: Was it worth the threats? ;)

Notes: Due to the length of time between IS8 and IS9, you might consider rereading the previous part to catch up to where this fic starts.

Thank Yous and Apologies: First and foremost thanks to all of you who've followed this series, and my apologies as well for this segment having taken so long to finish.

Disclaimer: *insert witty remark here* gee, they're not mine and for me they reap no profit. ;-) I don't know about you, but I'm not surprised by that.

Inner Resolve
Inner Strength 9

 

On board the Republic Cruiser Maverick, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn knelt in meditation. Two days from Coruscant, there were still two more before the ship would reach Nahbey.

He sighed and broke from his meditation, but remained kneeling. The overpowering wariness about the mission that had settled upon him after that last disastrous Council session had yet to lift.

It was far from the first time he had disagreed with the Council. However, it was the only time he knew of them resorting to nothing short of blackmail to achieve its ends. Releasing a long breath, Qui-Gon unfolded his legs and stood.

Walking across the small quarters, he sat on the sleep couch and opened his bag. Intending to pull out the datapad that contained information about his mission, he instead found himself looking at the small package Elyzabe had given him not long before his rushed departure.

Not for the first time, he pulled the wrapped object out and simply held it. It was small in his hands and quite light. While his own foresight was limited at best, his instincts boded for a long mission ahead. Knowing this, he was uncertain if he wanted to open her gift so soon or wait until he might truly need the connection to home. Funny, he hadn't thought of Coruscant as home in a long time before meeting Obi-Wan.

Rather than continuing to debate the action, he carefully unwrapped the package. The delicate object inside caused Qui-Gon to pause, before reaching out with one hand to trace the faint lines of the holo-image. Blinking slowly, his surprise slid into a sad smile.

The small boy in the image wasn't looking at the person who took the image, who he knew to have been Elyzabe herself. He looked closely at the image of Obi-Wan: sitting on the floor with his hair mussed and forehead scrunched as he worked. Though it was hard to see, he recognized the small fish that also rested on the worktable next to his sleep-couch.

Looking at the young boy, Qui-Gon found himself reminded yet again why he was heeding this call from the Council. One that there seemed very little right about, and otherwise would have fought. Gently brushing his fingertips over the photo, Qui-Gon then placed it next to the fragile fish the image showed being created. With a last glance at both, he retrieved the datapad and set to work preparing for his mission.

He had a very important reason to return home.

~<>~<>~

The chime sounded an end to the day's classes, and Master Kohn watched as the young students piled out of the classroom. Children's laughter echoed off the walls as they headed toward the dining area, Padawan Jonis leading the way.

However, the smile that the laughter sought to bring was dulled by the small boy still sitting in the back of the room. Standing, Elyzabe frowned, her concern growing. She walked to the back of the room where Obi-Wan was sitting.

"Obi-Wan?" she asked softly, leaning against the side of the table in front of the boy. Elyzabe ducked her head to try and see his eyes, which were hidden behind a fall of bangs.

Obi-Wan's head shot up, and he looked quickly around the empty room. He blushed and ducked his head. "Sorry, Master Kohn. I guess I wasn't paying attention."

The teacher ruffled Obi-Wan's hair. "You seemed to be in your own little world." She smiled softly and reached out through the Forced, filling it with a sense of comfort. "Care to share it with me?"

The little boy shrugged, his eyes darting around, looking at everything but his teacher. "I'll try and do better, Master Kohn," he said, lowering his head to stare at the tabletop.

"Obi-Wan." Elyzabe bit back a sigh and gently tugged his chin up with her hand. "It's okay to miss Master Qui-Gon."

Again, Obi-Wan shrugged. However Elyzabe didn't miss the faraway look in his green eyes or the way he chewed on his lower lip. "Jedi go on missions, so that they can help people," he said. Meeting Kohn's eyes, his eyes were bright. "Master Qui-Gon told me so."

Elyzabe smiled at the child. She was constantly impressed by how mature he was trying to be. But at the same time, he was only a little boy and it saddened her that he was being forced to do so. "Master Qui-Gon is a very wise man," she agreed. Kneeling next to his chair, she tilted her head to the side. "However, he has gone on missions before and you weren't so sad."

Obi-Wan blinked before looking at the teacher with wide eyes. The moisture was back in his eyes and a fine tremor ran through him. "Something's different."

It was impossible not to feel his distress and she wrapped an arm around his thin shoulders. She was struck by what he had said. "How so, Obi-Wan?"

"It just feels different," he said in a small voice. Elyzabe understood the confession and gave his shoulders a comforting squeeze. Rather than explaining, he added, "May I be excused to catch up with the others, Master Kohn?"

Her smile faded and Elyzabe dropped her arm and stood. "I'll escort you to the dining area, all right?"

The boy nodded, no longer staring at the desk but neither would he meet her eyes. "Thank you."

Kohn fought the urge to rub her hands over her face. The downcast demeanor of the boy was painful to witness. Qui-Gon had only been gone three days, and already the change in Obi-Wan was great.

~<>~<>~

During dinner, Elyzabe's attention was focused on Obi-Wan and Bant. She watched as Bant struggled in vain to make him smile. For the past three days she had seen similar attempts, all of which had failed. She had to give the Mon Calamari girl credit for her determination. It seemed that nothing any of those remaining tried -- even Bant's best efforts -- Obi-Wan remained sad.

"How's he doing?" Mace Windu's voice startled her, causing Elyzabe to turn quickly.

She rubbed a hand over her eyes. Lowering her hand, she met Mace's gaze and saw a concern to match her own. "Honestly, he is about as I feared he might be." Mace jumped slightly when she growled low in her throat. "He's torn apart and for no reason whatsoever."

Dropping into a seat next to the teacher, Windu looked at the students for a long moment. "I would have been by sooner, but it would seem that the Council seeks to keep me quite occupied ever since Qui-Gon's departure." He shook his head. "One can only guess as to why exactly."

"Occupied?" Elyzabe's eyes narrowed. She searched his gaze before letting out a long breath. "I don't understand. What is it they want to hide so badly?"

"I'm uncertain, although I have no doubt it is related. To be busy is one thing. The pointless, but constant, meetings and debates they have seen fit to assign to me of late..." He shook his head and closed his eyes briefly. Looking at Elyzabe, he recognized the calculations that were running through her mind. "This is another matter entirely. There is little doubt to the timing."

"I don't like this, Mace." Elyzabe glanced at Obi-Wan and Bant, who had yet to give up at her attempts to cheer him. It was easy to see Obi-Wan's sadness was beginning to take its toll on her as well. The teacher sighed and turned her attention back to Mace. "And I fear what the outcome might be, if we remain in the dark as to the true course of this path."

Mace placed a hand on Elyzabe's shoulder, lowering his voice he replied, "Those are my feelings as well. However, I think we must wait. There will be a time to move, but this is not it."

"No," she said, shaking her head. She stared at Obi-Wan, her eyes sad. Gesturing toward the boy, she said, "But that knowledge does little to make watching his suffering any easier."

Windu thought for a moment, his steady gaze resting on Obi-Wan. "What of his pet Ja'des kitten?"

Her eyes widening, Elyzabe almost smiled. "That's a wonderful idea, Mace. I took him to see Fyre the evening after Qui-Gon left, but he hasn't been able to return since."

"I'll take him to the gardens, if you'd like," Mace offered, standing.

Rising to stand next to him, she smiled her thanks. "I would appreciate that. Would you mind watching after two of them?"

"Under normal circumstances, there would be no chance of me agreeing to that." He tried to force humor into his words, but didn't quite manage it. Nodding he smiled faintly. "However, it would appear as though these are far from normal circumstances."

Elyzabe had a sad half-smile on her face. "I know." Turning, she walked over to the children. "I can tell by sheer noise that your dinner must apparently be over," she joked, forcing a smile as she attracted their attention. "That being so, please return your trays and Padawan Jonis will lead you to the Waterfall gardens."

While the children lined up to return their dinnerware, Jonis approached Master Kohn. Out of habit he lowered his voice. "Master?"

Elyzabe smiled at Jonis. It wasn't hard to tell that he was confused by her actions. The surprise was that he wasn't used to it after so long. "Please escort the children, Jonis. I'll be there shortly."

He bowed. "Yes, Master Kohn." He was still confused, but training kept him from asking more.

Seeing Obi-Wan lingering near the back of the group, Elyzabe sighed. "Obi-Wan, Bant, might I have a word with you?"

Two sets of wide eyes turned to look at her, sparing a quick glace for each other. "Yes, Master Kohn," they said in unison, before walking toward her. Elyzabe almost laughed at how the two children so mirrored one another. It was a rare bright spot in the chaos that had become their lives.

She waited for the rest of the children to leave the dining room before motioning them toward two empty seats. Sitting across from them, she glanced over at Mace, who was standing where the children couldn't see him.

"I know that the rest of the initiates are going to the Waterfall gardens, and I'm aware, Bant, that these are among your favorites." She smiled at the girl and then at Obi-Wan. "But I thought I might present you with an additional option."

Looking over at Mace, she waved the master over to them. The children looked and saw Master Windu approaching them. "I know I'm not much of a babysitter," he began, trying to smile. "But I thought you might enjoy spending some time in the Animal gardens, Obi-Wan." Turning to the other child, he added, "And I was hoping you might join us as well, Initiate Bant."

Light flickered in Obi-Wan's eyes, the first real reaction anyone had seen in him since Qui-Gon's Naming day gathering. "Really?" he asked, looking to Master Kohn.

"Yes, really," she replied, warmed by the reaction. "However, please try not to fall in the stream this time." She winked at Obi-Wan and ruffled his hair.

He ducked his head, a faint blush staining his cheeks. "Yes, Master Kohn."

"Back by bedtime, Mace," she told the other Master who merely rolled his eyes.

After Obi-Wan and Bant stood, he motioned them toward the door. While the two initiates walked ahead, Elyzabe held Mace back a few steps. She then whispered softly, "Thank you."

Mace nodded in acknowledgement, but was kept from replying when they overheard Bant giggle and ask Obi-Wan, "You fell in what?" The masters smiled, and Mace hurried to catch up to the children.

While Elyzabe continued on to the Waterfall gardens, Obi-Wan and Bant were searching for Fyre within the Animal gardens. Trying not to interrupt what fun might come of the time, Mace hung back, staying only close enough to ensure that they indeed did not fall into any trouble.

~<>~<>~

By the time the Maverick reached Nahbey, Qui-Gon had finished reading all of the information provided by the Council, which was very little indeed. The feeling of wrongness was only magnified by the limited detail the information provided.

The planet of Nahbey held a rigid status structure, each had a level into which they were born and from which they died. The trade workers had for generations been the foundation of the society, but in the past decades had grown more and more disenchanted with the idea of their labor supporting those above them.

The information provided little beyond the fact that the workers were pushing for a change, by any means necessary. As a result, the Ambassadors for both the workers and overseers were forced to the negotiation table. Where all efforts had stalled.

Having spent much of his time in meditation, seeking some peace with the situation in which he found himself, and the rest practicing form after form in the ship's hold, Qui-Gon was pleased to finally be at his destination. He wanted little more than to do his duty and return home.

Walking down the ramp, he squinted against the harsh sunlight that bathed the world of Nahbey. Tugging his cloak tight against the brisk wind that whipped around the ship, he moved toward the small group waiting for him.

The man standing in the front bowed stiffly. "Master Jedi. So good of you to come. I am ali Torrin." Qui-Gon nodded his head in return, recognizing the formal title of one of the ruling party. "As Secretary to the Governor, I am to take you to see him."

He gestured behind him, to his left. "This is zah Opins, Ambassador and representative of the Trade workers." The second man bowed, and Torrin turned to his right. "This is zah Regin, Ambassador and representative of the Trade overseers."

Qui-Gon nodded to each in turn. "Ambassadors. I look forward to negotiating with each of you in good faith." They titled their heads in response, but remained silent.

"This way, if you please, Master Jedi." ali Torin gestured behind him toward a recessed doorway. "I will take you to your rooms, and then to meet with the Governor."

"Thank you, ali Torrin," Qui-Gon replied before moving to walk alongside the man into the large building.

~<>~<>~

Sitting near the stream that wound through the Animal gardens, Bant and Obi-Wan watched as Fyre chased a draigon-butterfly nearby. Bant watched her friend for a long moment, concern written in her large, dark eyes. It was much the same as she had for the many days since Qui-Gon had left.

This was the second time Master Kohn had asked them if they wanted to visit the Animal gardens and Bant was more than a little worried about her friend. Besides that, she was growing suspicious about everything else.

"Obi?" she asked timidly.

Looking up quickly, Obi-Wan was surprised to find his friend staring at him. "Yeah?"

Chewing on her lip, she paused before replying. "I know you're sad that Master Qui-Gon went away..." She met his gaze, blinking slowly. "But he's gone on lots of missions, why are you so sad this time?"

Obi-Wan lowered his gaze and Fyre nudged his head up under Obi-Wan's hand. Petting the kitten, Obi-Wan hesitated. Focusing on the kitten, he refused to look at Bant. "Because it's my fault," he finally said, his voice barely a whisper.

Bant's always-large eyes widened in surprise. Denying his words, she shook her head quickly. "How could it be your fault? You're a little boy."

Shrugging, Obi-Wan wouldn't meet her gaze. She could barely hear him when he spoke. "It's different this time. Wrong. And it's because of me."

Bant crawled over next to Obi-Wan, putting her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

He looked at her in confusion, but his were eyes just sad. "Why are you sorry?"

"Just because you're not happy." She half-hugged him, using her free hand to pet Fyre. Bant laid her head on his shoulder. "We just wish you would smile again."

Their conversation was interrupted when Padawan Jonis cleared his throat. Bant sat up straight and they both looked up at the padawan. "Time to go, children," he said quietly.

"Yes, Padawan Jonis," Bant replied, Obi-Wan nodding in silent agreement.

While they stood and brushed the grass off of their leggings, neither saw the shadowed look that crossed Jonis' eyes.

~<>~<>~

Elyzabe looked up after hearing a soft knock on her office door to find Padawan Jonis standing there. She smiled, a tired expression, and waved him into the room. "Yes, Padawan?" He hesitated, causing Elyzabe to become concerned. "Are you alright?"

Jonis shook his head, before sitting in one of the chairs in front of Kohn's desk. "It's the boy, Master. Obi-Wan."

Her eyes widened, and Elyzabe stood and moved around her desk. Leaning on the front, she looked closely at the young man. Several possibilities came to mind, but she pushed them aside. Better to not borrow trouble when they could afford it.

Keeping her voice level, she asked, "What about Obi-Wan?"

Looking at his hands for a moment, Jonis collected his thoughts. "I overheard him speaking with Initiate Bant this evening while at the Animal gardens."

Elyzabe nodded. "He has been upset since Master Qui-Gon left on his last mission." She stared off into space for a moment. "I had hoped playing with Bant and Fyre might help."

Jonis met the Master's gaze, and she was shocked by the haunted expression in his eyes. "He blames himself, you know," he finally said in a whisper. "I heard him telling Bant that he believes it to be his fault that Master Qui-Gon was sent away."

Sadly, that didn't surprise Elyzabe. She nodded, and her voice faded. "I know."

"You know?" Jonis' voice raised in disbelief. He fidgeted with his hands, longing to pace around the small room. "And still no one does anything?"

Elyzabe rubbed the bridge of her nose with her hand. Somehow she managed not to sigh in frustration. When she replied, her tone was formal. "We're working on it, Padawan Jonis. Whether their decisions make sense or not, the Council is not to be taken lightly."

Jonis' eyes narrowed, undeterred. "Even when it is the life of a child at stake?" Elyzabe was forced to admit that Jonis might make a fine teacher himself one day.

"Especially then." The teacher's voice was cool, aloof. She couldn't afford to let Jonis too close, especially if things were to go wrong in the future. If blame were going to be cast; she would keep the padawan as clear of it as possible.

She lowered her voice just a bit. "Something is happening. It is up to us to be on alert to when it occurs."

"Yes, Master," Jonis agreed with a nod. He recognized something in her face, something that told him she would do whatever the child needed her to do. In retrospect, he never expected anything less.

"Good evening, Master." Standing, he bowed and left the office.

Elyzabe sighed and wrapped her arms around her chest. Staring off into space, she couldn't help but think that things were going to get much worse before they got better.

~<>~<>~

Qui-Gon let out a long breath as ali Legis, the Governor, signaled the end of negotiations for the day. He had been on Nahbey for seven cycles. And still the negotiations stretched out seemingly unending ahead of him.

After the ceremonial gong had been struck, the Ambassadors and representatives all but fled the large chamber. Resigning himself to a more restrained pace, Qui-Gon followed their lead. He wanted little more than to retreat into his rooms. Duty had been served for yet another day.

As he walked through the ornately decorated hallways, Qui-Gon nodded as was appropriate to those he met. However his mind was light-years away for the moment.

Once inside his temporary quarters, he pulled his cloak free and hung it near the door. Glancing around the room, he noted that, as always, a tray of fruit and bread was resting near the Comm-board and that the message light was blinking.

Picking a piece of the fruit at random, he began eating it absentmindedly as he punched the message button. Scrolling through the few collected messages, he paused when he saw one from Mace.

"Qui-Gon." Mace said, glancing around before continuing. "I'm sure if he were to find out, Ysari would declare that communication with you is in violation of some code only he has dreamt of." When Mace smiled coldly, Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile faintly in return. "However, since I have been reduced to constantly running errand boy, I have opportunity to send messages away from under the Council's eyes."

Mace paused then, closing his eyes briefly, the smile gone. "I know you worry for the boy, Qui-Gon. He is well; Elyzabe is keeping a close eye on him, as is his friend Bant. Concentrate on your mission and finish in due course. We'll be waiting for you on your return."

The communication ended and Qui-Gon sighed. Picking up more of the fruit, he continued to read through the messages. With that chore done, he glanced over at the holo-image that rested on his desk. Picking up the image, he looked at it for a long moment before yawning.

Sparing a glance at the chrono, he realized it was still early. Faced with the choice between meditation and sleep, Qui-Gon thought for a moment before he yawned once more. For reasons he was unsure of, he was far more wary after the day's negotiations than was usual.

Deciding that he would meditate in the morning, he walked into the second of his rooms. Pulling off his tunic, he dropped onto the large bed and was asleep in moments.

~<>~<>~

After Elyzabe finished instructing the class in how to use the balance balls, she began walking around the room, judging the students adaptation to the new lesson. While in part a toy, the balls were also a way to teach. She was speaking with one of the students when she felt something... strange.

She finished instructing the young girl, and quickly stood. A hurried glance around the room revealed nothing. Reaching out with the Force, she searched for the cause of the emotions that held her attention. Her gaze flickered over the initiates and came to rest on Obi-Wan. Near the corner he was staring off into space as if in a trance.

Eyes narrowed in concern, Elyzabe walked across the room. Kneeling next to Obi-Wan, she reached out a hand and ruffled his hair. "Obi-Wan?" she asked softly.

The little boy started, wild eyes turning to meet Elyzabe's. "Master Kohn?" His cheeks were flushed as he glanced around. It was as if he was unsure of where he was.

"Are you feeling okay, Obi-Wan?" When he paled her concern grew. She placed a hand on his forehead, checking for sign of a fever. At the same time, she reached out along the Force that surrounded him. Whatever she had felt earlier was gone, replaced with a lingering confusion.

Obi-Wan shrugged, his eyes returned to normal. "I guess so." He looked at the balance balls and then up at Master Kohn. Ducking his head, he asked, "Could you explain this to me again?"

Elyzabe fought the urge to curse the Council under her breath for what brought him to this point. Usually, Obi-Wan was one of the best students in the class. She nodded, a sad smile on her face. "Of course I can."

~<>~<>~

Qui-Gon bit back a groan as the brilliant morning sunlight pierced through the drapes and lit up the room. The beginning of day sixteen of the negotiations and still no end was in sight.

Normally there was little that could tax his patience. The determination of each side to thwart the other for as long as possible is an annoyance, nothing more.

However he wasn't feeling entirely patient of late. Sitting up in the bed, he rubbed his head with one hand. It felt as if someone had packed it with cotton and was throbbing mercilessly. Just one more reason to try and convince the Nahbey that a resolution was in all of their best interests.

Standing, Qui-Gon swayed slightly before steadying himself. He shook his head to clear it, and went into the 'fresher. One luxury of a world such as Nahbey was a deep inset bathtub and real water shower. And he felt just bad enough to give into such an indulgence.

Some time later, dressed and feeling almost human again, Qui-Gon dropped into a meditative pose near the window. Feeling the warm light on his face, he let out a single long breath before closing his eyes and sinking into the Force.

His peace was interrupted mere moments later by an insistent knocking on the chamber's outermost door. Sighing, he stood and walked into the main room.

"Enter."

A young boy, not ten seasons old, walked into the room. Standing just inside the door he risked a glance at the Jedi. Qui-Gon recognized the boy as the same child who brought the trays of food and drink each evening.

"Master Jedi," he said in a small voice. Holding out his hands, he offered Qui-Gon a rolled parchment that rested atop them. "For you."

Taking the offered correspondence, Qui-Gon couldn't help but notice how uneasy the boy appeared. Everything about him spoke of nervousness. Reminded of another small boy, he forced a smile to his lips. "Thank you..."

The boy seemed startled by the address. "noh Verhia, sir."

"Thank you, Verhia." Qui-Gon dropped the boy's title, hoping to set him more at ease. "Might I offer you something to drink?" he asked, gesturing toward the table.

Verhia glanced nervously over at the tray from the evening before and shook his head, not meeting Qui-Gon's gaze. "No thank you, Master Jedi. By your leave?"

"Of course, Verhia. Thank you."

With a nod, the wide-eyed boy bowed and turned hurriedly, the door swinging closed behind him.

~<>~<>~