Author's notes: This is just about the complete opposite of most of my other stuff. Well, there's still Mulder angst, but it's still different! :) The song, yep it's a song story, is one I do not know the name of, it's in the middle of the sap-fest movie "Stealing Home" which I liked. It was about a relationship that went back and forth between romance and friendship. I see this as friendship, but interpret this however you like. And even if you don't like song stories, it could almost be a stand alone, so give it a chance okay? Please???

Disclaimer: Here y'all, let us all say it together! This isn't written for profit of any form, other than the hopeful enjoyment of the reader. Besides, I'm in college, and broke doesn't quite describe it fellas. :) The characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, FOX Television, is that all? The song referred to is from the movie "Stealing Home" which stars Mark Harmon and Jodie Foster. It's the property of Warner Brothers (I'm thinking the same for the song).

Fox Mulder was a mere shell of a human being. To look in his eyes was to look into dulled, empty hazel pools. He stumbled through life, he didn't care about much of anything anymore. Wanting to believe . . . he didn't have the desire anymore. And he only wanted to hide from the truth. They all brought back too many memories.

Work was a mere monotony. His weekends were spent curled on his couch, watching television. There was a movie flickering in front of him. He managed to register that it had something to do with baseball, but the sappy parts were sailing over his head. But he didn't care about the movie, it was just a diversion.

He had stopped caring about everything the day his rock crumbled, and his support failed. The day she had died.

She had been shot in the line of duty. It was a routine assignment, well as routine as the cases they usually investigated ever were. They had been talking with a witness outside of a local diner when a shot had rung out.

To Mulder the world went into slow motion. He turned to see the petite form of his beloved partner crumple slowly to the ground. He covered the distance between them in three strides, pulling her head into his lap, brushing her hair away from her face. Tears filled his eyes, and he struggled to blink them away.

He barely heard her when she spoke, it was more of a muttered whisper really, but to him it didn't matter.

"Mulder?" Her weak voice questioned, seeking the person she most wanted by her side. Her eyes fluttered open, pain blossoming in the blue depths. "You okay?" She had to struggle to speak, each word an immense effort.

He smiled faintly, she was dying in the street and she was still checking on him. "I'm fine. You're gonna be okay, too. Just stay awake, okay? Stay with me, Scully." He heard the wail of an ambulance somewhere in the distance, and he thought it might help if he could just keep her awake.

She had to work just to focus on her partner's face that was so close to hers. He had said she would be okay, but she didn't feel so sure. She was in pain, a lot of pain, but she couldn't give up just yet. She had to be strong, that was the memory she wanted to leave Mulder with, if she was forced to leave him at all.

"Okay, partner. I'll take your word for it." She managed, somehow, to smile through the pain. Slowly she raised her hand, bringing it up to rest on his cheek and Mulder covered it with his own; however, the motion caused her to gasp sharply and she dropped it suddenly. Startled, Mulder searched her eyes, and could see the turmoil she was attempting to mask.

"I'm sorry, Scully," he whispered, closing his eyes hoping against hope that it was all one of his famous nightmares. But he knew it was real, far too real.

Even in pain, she managed a comeback for his ever-present apology. "What in the hell are you sorry for, Mulder? You aren't the one who shot me. Although if memory serves, I have shot you before." The last part was a joke, but she couldn't manage a light tone of voice, it was too much effort.

Tears were again surging in his eyes, wanting desperately to course down his cheeks, but he held them in. He had to be strong, like Scully. "Okay," he conceded. "But keep talking to me Scully. You can even pick the topic, you know, that's almost the same as letting you drive," he joked.

"Wow, I'm honored." Scully always could work wonders with a dead pan expression. However, before she could take Mulder up on his offer, her body was wracked with another wave of pain. He pulled her closer to him, wanting to make it better but not knowing how. Silently, he was cursing whatever was taking the ambulance so long, staring off into the distance.

He was startled back into awareness by another gasp from Scully, followed by a very low whisper. "Mulder," she paused, taking another breath, "always remember that I loved you." Her eyes made contact with his, silent tears on her face.

Mulder began shaking his head almost violently. "No. Don't tell me goodbye, you're going to make it. You're the strong one. What am I without you?" He almost couldn't force himself to stop talking. As if his demanding her attention would force her to stay alive. "Don't," a ragged whisper, and a plea almost beyond words, "please."

When he had finished talking, he looked again upon her face. Her eyes had closed.

The rest of the night would eventually become a hellish blur in Mulder's photographic memory. The ride to the hospital. Scully in surgery while he waited and paced. He was allowed to see her in the ICU, but he was told she wasn't expected to survive the night.

He stood, silently, beside her small form in the large bed. Taking her hand in his own, he found the strength to speak to her. "I don't want to believe you won't make it, Scully. Did you hear that? I *don't* want to believe in something." To anyone passing by, he looked like a little boy, pleading that he didn't want to not believe in Santa Claus, or the Tooth Fairy. "I love you, Scully. What am I supposed to do if I lose my best friend?"

He stood, and continued to plead with her for hours. In the end, it hadn't mattered, she hadn't pulled through. Just as the sun was peaking above the horizon, she had slipped away. He was alone.

He had long ago decided the movie he was watching was too far on the mushy side for him, but it made him think of evenings Scully and he had spent watching movies, so he hadn't turned it off. He had been startled out of his reverie by a song in the movie that seemed to come out of the blue.

*****

Can you go back in time,
to a place in your mind
to the one who knew a part of you
that you could never find.

*****

Sometimes he desperately wanted to go back in time to when she was still with him. He often found himself daydreaming about cases they had worked, fun times in and outside of the office. She found so much in him that he had never bothered to look for. And he knew he was better because of her.

*****

If you asked me to choose,
between a memory or two,
When it's said and done,
I'd take the one who's love I had to lose.

'Cause when we danced.
I lost my innocence
She took with her,
a part of me...

*****

At those words, the first smile since Scully had died showed on his face. He found his thoughts drifting to memories not so long ago at the end of the "Great Mutato" case. The scene flashed in his mind of he and Scully dancing at a Cher concert, both smiling and happy.

*****

Can you go back in time
to a place in your mind
to the one who knew a part of you
that you could never find
looking back I'm not sure
if I won or lost the war,
but when she danced with me,
our hearts were free
as far as I could see.

When she danced with me,
our hearts were free as far as I could see...

*****

Her presence in his life had allowed him to be more than he ever could have imagined alone. In a way she had truly set him free.

Since she had died, he had withdrawn. However, for a moment he shook the depression that had enveloped him since her death. He realized that he was doing wrong by her when he had stopped really living. She was always strong, and he knew he should be strong, and continue, for her.

The movie continued after the song was long over, however, he once again paid it little attention. He was too taken with what he had just discovered. He needed to keep living, to keep fighting. He needed to keep believing. The truth was still out there, and she would definitely want him to find it.

fin

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