Title: My Heart Will Go On
Author: Kalynn
kalynn95@juno.com
Rating: G (I'm pretty sure, anyway)
Classification: S/A
Keywords: M/S friendship, character death
Summary: Scully hears a song on the radio, sometime in the future.
Spoiler: Up to Redux I & II

Author's notes: Okay, I had to do it. It was calling out to me. The "it" I am referring to is the song "My Heart Will Go On" performed by Celine Dion, also known as the love theme from the motion picture "Titanic." This was written in December of '97 -- before everyone on the planet OD'ed on the song, btw :) While it speaks of a romantic love, in this case I see it as a plutonic love that goes beyond romance or passion. Simply put, I am a friendshipper. The relationship Mulder and Scully share is to such a degree that I can only hope of finding one so special.

Disclaimer: I've written very few fan fictions, but the disclaimer dance was old a long time ago. Here gang, let us all say it together! This isn't written for profit of any form, other than the hopeful enjoyment of the reader. Besides, I'm in college, broke doesn't quite describe it fellas. :) The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and Walter Skinner are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, FOX Television, is that it? As for "My Heart Will Go On" 1997 Famous Music Corporation, TCF Music Publishing Incorporated, Ensign Music Corporation, Fox Film Music Corporation, and Blue Sky Rider Songs.

Finally, on with the show.

My Heart Will Go On

The rain tapped steadily against the windshield of her Ford Taurus as she drove down the busy interstate. Traffic was beginning to pick up, and Dana Scully was hoping to make it to her apartment before the overburdened grey clouds above released a torrent of rain upon the city.

It had been a long day teaching at Quantico, and a long bath followed by curling up on the couch sounded very appealing to the former agent. As traffic slowed down, she found herself playing with the radio buttons, searching for something to distract her from the monotony of rush hour traffic.

"Hey, all of you out there trying to get home, this is Bazooka Joe with you here on WRQN 100.3. Coming up in the next hour we've got lots of new stuff for you, and a request for an older song by Celine Dion."

The voice continued to drone on, but Scully had tuned it out. Punching the scan button, she found an up tempo song and began to tap out the beat on the steering wheel. Several songs later, she had reached her apartment, narrowly avoiding the downpour from the skies.

On the way to her bathroom to draw a bath, she punched on the radio. She recognized the DJ as the same one from earlier in the car. As soon as the water was ready, she immersed herself in the warmth that it provided.

As she soaked, her thoughts drifted back to a time not so long ago. To when she was still assigned to the X-Files, when there was still an X-Files division. A time when her best friend was still in her life. She could still picture the last day she had spent with him . . .

*****

The morning had been uneventful, save for a few lighthearted disagreements that were nothing new to the basement office of Special Agents Mulder and Scully. Overall, the atmosphere had been almost jovial. Ever since her cancer's remission, the two had become closer and closer.

Around 11:30 they had split up, she needed to run over to Quantico to pick up some reports, and Mulder went out to grab a bite to eat. The last she saw of him, he was sitting behind his desk with his glasses on his nose, munching sunflower seeds absent-mindedly.

"See you after lunch Mulder, and don't forget to actually eat" she called with a laugh as she was leaving.

"Uh huh. Me, forget to eat?" he asked feigning innocence. "I'll be out of here in a minute. And don't you forget, as soon as we get back we're supposed to go and see Skinner."

"Right," her response echoed along with the sound of her heels.

"Come on, Mulder. Skinner wanted us in his office ten minutes ago," her voice ringing down the hallway into their combined office. Silently, she cursed the traffic, causing her to be late enough already. However, when she finally reached the office to look for him, he wasn't there.

"How odd," she said to the vacant room.

She hurried to Skinner's office alone, none to pleased with Mulder for making her deal with AD Skinner by herself, but not overly concerned. Probably tried to pick up a lunch date, she laughed at the thought.

Scully was greeted by Kimberly, Skinner's secretary, and escorted into the inner office.

"Agent Scully, please have a seat," Skinner greeted, not mentioning the absence of her partner or her tardiness.

"Yes Sir, you wanted to see Agent Mulder and myself?" she queried as she sat in one of the two leather seats in front of his desk.

"Speaking of Agent Mulder, why isn't he . . . " As he spoke, Skinner's phone rang and he paused to answer it. As he listened his face paled, and he glanced quickly at the lone agent sitting before him.

"Agent Scully, I have received some rather disturbing news," he began, as he watched the color slowly drain from her face. Her features, however, remained calm.

"Mulder?" she questioned her voice steady, forgetting the hostility she had felt as his absence mere moments earlier.

"There's been an accident," he continued, "he's been taken to Georgetown Medical," however, Agent Dana Scully heard no more, because she was already sprinting down the hall. A concerned Assistant Director was close at her heels as quickly as he could catch up.

The rest of the day was a blur; they arrived at Georgetown relatively soon, heading directly for the ER. They learned that Mulder had been hit by a drunk driver during the lunch hour rush. She was allowed to see him, he was in intensive care connected to every machine they had. But it was only that, Scully knew. It was not Mulder living in that room, it was the machines.

For as long as they would let her, she sat by his side. She talked to him, praying he might hear her voice and return to her. She held his hand and played with his hair; willing herself not to cry, it wasn't the time. Didn't he know it wasn't supposed to end like this? she thought. Some drunk, in the middle of the day, wasn't supposed to extinguish the light that was Fox William Mulder. He was her strength, as much as she was his. The two were bound as one, more so than any two lovers might ever dream of being.

Skinner hovered outside, afraid to interrupt the fragile space between the partners, and best friends. He knew, as well as anyone, what the two meant to each other. He had often feared what something happening to Scully might do to Mulder; but it had never occurred to him that something happening to Mulder might crush Scully. She was the strong one.

The sound of silenced tears reached out to Skinner, still standing in the hallway. Hours had passed since they had arrived. It was dusk outside, but there had been no improvement in Mulder's condition. It was then that he had heard it, the ominous shrill call of a flat line.

He was pushed out of the way as a crash team raced into the room, forcing Scully out into the hall with Skinner. Shaken, Skinner hugged Scully, trying to stave off what he knew was coming.

"He's gone," she whispered into his shirt. Skinner barely caught the muffled words.

"They're doing all they can. We just have to wait and hope for the best. He's going to make it . . ."

"No, I can feel it," she tried to explain, interrupting him. "He's gone. It's like a part of me has been ever so slowly pulled away. Always before, whenever he had gotten into one situation or another, I could feel him. Now . . . now, I can't." Tears coursed down her cheeks, wetting Skinner's shirt.

As if to echo her words, the team exited the room, heads low in respect to the mourning couple outside the door. Inside the room, lay the body of Special Agent Fox Mulder, covered in a sheet.

*****

Her bath water had long since gone cold when she again heard the voice of the radio DJ reach across the apartment.

"Sorry about this folks, I forgot to play this song earlier. So, without anymore delay, here's "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. It's for Bill, from Kate."

As he spoke, Scully had gotten up and put on her robe, but something about the music made her stop and listen.

*****

Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
And never let go till we're gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to.
In my life we'll always go on.

Near, far, wherever you are . . .

*****

As the song wound back into the chorus, Scully found herself collapsing onto the couch, a sheen of tears in her eyes.

"Mulder," she called quietly to her empty apartment. "I do still miss you so sometimes. It was like losing a part of my own heart, burying you that lifetime ago.

"But maybe she's right, you do still go on, inside me. Every time I see your hazel eyes in my dreams. Or remember the one who will always be my best friend."

*****

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on.
We'll stay, forever this way,
You are safe in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

*****

That night, sleep wasn't as hard to come by for Dana Scully as some previous nights. In it's own way, the song she had heard had comforted her. As long as she never forgot her dearest friend, then he would never truly be gone from her life. She would never let go. Wherever he was, he was there in her heart.

fin