When Mulder arrived at work the morning after his confrontation with Harry, he approached the
computer with trepidation. He was still unsure what to make of the previous day's events. The
truth he didn't want to admit was that he couldn't figure out if it had actually happened or if it had
all been a dream.
About ten minutes later Scully arrived in the office. Since nothing out of the ordinary had
happened, Mulder decided against mentioning his conversation with Harry. The last thing he
needed was Scully hanging all over him trying to find some unforseen effect of his fall the day
before.
"Hey, Mulder." Scully said as she placed her attache case down. "I had a call this morning asking
if I could substitute over at Quantico."
"Uh-huh," Mulder commented, looking up from a well-worn file.
Scully found herself craving a cup of coffee, but after a glance over at the coffee maker she
decided to forgo her usual cup. "Anyway, try not to cause too much trouble today, okay?"
Flashing his best who me? look at her, Mulder pulled off his glasses and leaned back in his
chair. "I'd never even dream of it, Scully."
"Now why do I find that so hard to believe, Mulder?" Scully asked with a laugh, as she walked
out the door. "See you this afternoon!" she called with a wave from the hallway.
Mulder waited until he heard the doors of the elevator close before he closed the file he had been
researching. Opening one of the lower drawers in his desk, he pulled out a black videocassette
holder. Standing, he walked over and closed the office door and crossed over to the VCR.
Turning on the television and VCR, he pushed the tape into the machine.
Sitting back down in his chair, he leaned back trying to get comfortable and pressed play on the
remote. A few seconds later, familiar credits flashed on the screen. After a while, Mulder was
watching intently, paying little attention to anything else.
"Man, not this again! Buddy, you've gotta get a life."
"Wh . . ." Mulder, startled, managed to upend his chair. Blinking his eyes to clear them, he
discovered he was staring at the ceiling. Giving up any semblance of pride, Mulder managed to
extract himself from his chair and right it.
"Graceful move, Mulder. I'd give it a five for artistic elements, and a 6.5 degree of difficulty."
Mulder looked around, gingerly rubbing the back of his head and muttering "Not again."
"What? You don't like my sparkling personality? I'm hurt."
"Okay, I'll give. Who are you? Harry, right?" Mulder had moved to stand close to the door, and
as far away from his desk as possible.
"Harry? You'd confuse my true intelligence with that wannabe?" After attempting to track the
voice, Mulder finally decided it was coming from the direction of the VCR.
"Watch it, Jerry." Mulder's attention jerked toward his desk.
A sadistic laugh echoed, "I hear ya, Harry. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. You're not
going to make us watch Debbie Gets Abducted again, are you?"
Mulder managed to regain his bearings somewhat and speak. "Okay. Let me get this straight.
You're the VCR?"
"Whaddya know, he can be taught!"
Mulder took a tentative step toward the center of the room. "All right, so you're the VCR," he
said sarcastically.
"Watch it, buddy. I'll trash your precious tape."
Mulder tensed somewhat. "Okay, so what's your name then?"
Jerry sighed. "You have ears don't you? Harry just called me Jerry. Or did you think he was just
picking a name at random?"
"Jerry. Yeah, right. Well, listen, Jer," Mulder started.
"ry. It's Jer-ry, not Jer," the VCR interrupted, rather annoyed.
Mulder sighed, "Sure, fine, whatever. Anyway, why are you complaining about my tape? You're
a guy, for crying out loud! Sit back and enjoy it!"
Jerry laughed. "I did, the first ten or fifteen times you watched it. Enough is enough, Mulder.
That movie was old two years ago. Besides, do you really think Scully doesn't know what you
do whenever she's out of the office for more than thirty minutes?"
"I work, what else would I do?" He paused, knowing his faulty logic was transparent. Quickly
he added, "Of course that's what she thinks!" Mulder found himself offended, but he wasn't sure
why.
"Not a chance, Agent Mulder." A feminine voice interjected, with just the slightest trace of an
accent.
Rubbing his eyes in frustration, Mulder asked. "Okay, who now?"
The newest voice continued, "Oh, I'm Leigh, Agent Scully's laptop." Mulder's gaze fell onto the
portable computer that sat in Scully's chair.
"Her laptop?" Mulder's voice would have sounded unbelieving, but he'd lost the ability to discern
reality from nonsense sometime before.
"Sure thang, cutie," she said with a giggle. "Dana knows what you do when you think she's not
looking. Remember, she's found your little stash before."
Mulder's eyes shot open. "Cutie?"
"Here she goes again!" Harry offered. Mulder looked around from object to object, his gaze
finally stopping on his computer. After a moment, Harry answered his silent question. "It's just
that some members of the office are interested in others. Only a couple of them have their sights
set a bit high."
"And they would be . . ." Mulder asked, finally giving up and collapsing in his seat.
It was Jerry who answered. "Well, that would be Leigh over there and her fondness for you.
Although the rest of us are lost as to why. And Michael's little crush on Agent Scully. Now that I
understand." Suggestive laughter highlighted his last comment.
Mulder pointed at Jerry to drive home his remark, "Tape or no tape, watch it Jer." He looked
at the computer, "Wait. Michael? You mentioned him yesterday."
"That would be me, Agent Mulder." Finding the source of the young voice, Mulder found himself
looking at the office coffee maker.
Mulder closed his eyes. "Tell me this isn't happening . . ."
Jerry continued to laugh. "Oh, it's happening all right. Now back to Debbie . . ."
"What about her?" Mulder asked, his words muffled because he had buried his head in his hands.
Jerry laughed even harder. "No more. That's what about her, buddy. How 'bout taking a break
from the old one hand salute?"
"That was crude," Leigh commented.
"Well, I can't help it that my wonderful wit is just too colorful for the more delicate members of
the office," Jerry countered.
Leigh laughed. "Wit? So that's what you're calling it these days . . ."
"Agent Scully's coming!" Michael cried.
The rest all laughed, and at Mulder's confused look, Harry explained. "It's just that Michael's
always the first to know if it's Agent Scully."
Mulder cut the small coffee maker a look, before a noise from the VCR caught his attention. "I
think you'll be wanting this back, bud. Just remember, do us all a favor and cut back."
Standing, Mulder moved to stand in front of the VCR and yanked out the tape. He managed to
put it back in its holder and replace it in the drawer before Scully walked in. "Damn talking
appliances," he muttered under his breath.
"What did you say, Mulder?" Scully asked, walking over to her chair on the far side of the room.
"Nothing important, Scully."
She laughed, "Now why do I have trouble believing that?"
fin