Author's Notes: I haven't written anything in a *long* time, at least not in X-Files. And I can't say that I set out to write this, I was just sitting there and I swear the pen moved on it's own or something. :-) It's really short, so give it a read, 'kay?

Disclaimer: Straight simple and to the point: Mulder and Scully are property of FOX Television, 1013 Productions, Chris Carter, and probably a bunch of other people. If I owned them, I wouldn't need student loans. :-)

Dear Scully,

It is my hope, that by writing this I'll explain why I must do what I am about to do. I know it will appear harsh and cruel, but I see no other course of action.

I've walked this solitary path for many years. When you found me, my journey didn't seem so dark, nor feel so empty. Because of this, I clung to you like a drowning man might precariously hold onto a piece of debris in the sea. Now I see that as a result, all I have managed to do is pull you, my unconditional support, down with me. I know you never made me ask for your presence at my side, you gave your companionship willingly. Still I feel at fault for the hardships, no, hell that you've endured.

Over time it has grown clear to me what I must do. Not for my sake especially, but yours. I know you will be angry, and curse my cowardice; but I know in time you will find the strength to forgive me. For I konw that strength is one quality you do not lack. For once, I'm taking control in my life. I'm tired of always playing by everyone else's rules.

Someone has to draw the line, and I'm drawing it for you here. I remember saying something similar in an email I wrote to you before I went to Alaska. You followed me anyway and saved my butt like so many other times before and since. However, this time I beg you to answer my plea and request. Do not even contemplate following me on this final leg of my journey must begin alone. I know you hate not being in control, but please grant me this wish. I know we will be together again soon enough.

Until then, live knowing of my love for you. Go on, accepting that this happened for a reason. Carry me with you in your heart and I will never truly be gone. I know that I am asking a lot of you, to love me not only through my betrayal, but also maybe because of if. This is something I do not only to end my personal pain and silence the demons, but to enable your world to be a more peaceful place as well.

Continue, grow, live and love. And know that I will always be watching over you. For you are and forever shall be the dearest to my heart.

Love,

Fox W. Mulder

fin

• Kalynn's X-Files Fan Fiction
  
• Kalynn's Fan Fiction