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I Thanked God For You "Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away. This year to keep me from tears I'll give it to someone special-Special" Kait sang out loudly. "KAIT. You are going to knock something over!" her mothers voice scolded as Kait twirled her lithe frame in circles around the kitchen. "Why do you feel the need to dance in the living room anyways?" her older sisters irritated voice asked as she scooped down to the oven to peek in at the pie. "You are all grouchies!" she pouted as she propped herself up on the counter. "Why are you singing Christmas songs anyways? It's Thanksgiving today? Remember?" her sister admonished as she buried her face in the cupboard looking for something. "I know...Speaking of which guess what tomorrow is??? The busiest shopping day of the year~so mom do I get it??" Kait asked her face filled with hope. Glancing at her younger self Kait's mother groaned "Kait the last time I gave it to you I got a 600.00 bill!" her mother exclaimed. "But mom...I promise I will not overcharge this year" her eyes holding the sincerity she felt but she also knew all it took was one look into Macy's and all would be lost. Snorting her mother relented "Fine..Fine...But i swear Kait it will be your head" her mother threatend. Shooting a smug glance towards her sister who rolled her eyes Kait bounced off the counter and ran into the living room "HEY DAD!" she called out deteremined to get his credit card but stopped as she saw the family that entered into the living room. The tall blonde looked up and a broad smile crossed his face "Kay?" he questioned. "NICKERS!" she exclaimed as she raced to him and hugged him so vigorously he fell down onto the plush carpet. Laughing he looked at her as she straddled him a smile on her full lips. "How are ya?" he said as he got up as she bounced off him and helped him up. "I am ok. How are you?" she said as she stared at him adulation in her eyes. "Ok...I think" he said as he rubbed his butt. "Sorry" she said smiling sheepishly. "KAY" another voice called out demanding her attention. Kait turned around as another broad smile filled her face as she found herself staring into Nick's smaller version "Hey there Aaron" she said as she bent down as he ran into her arms. "HI!" he said enthusiastically as his own hug knocked her onto her rear. Laughing Nick just shook his head as he followed everyone else into the living room where Kait could hear the hello's take place. "Guess what Kait?" Aaron demanded as he sat on her lap so she couldn't move. "What Aaron?" she said as she decided she would amuse him for the time being. "We are staying in New York for 3 days!" he said triumphantly. "3 days eh?" Kait said a smile on her lips as she brushed his long blonde hair out of his eyes. "Yep!" he said as he nodded his head enthusiastically. "Well then I will just have to show you around town huh?" she said as she finally got up. He looked up at her "Yea! You have to take me ice skating at central park!" he said as he pulled on her hands. "Ok Ok." she relented. "Promise?" he asked. "Yes I promise" she said as she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Good" he said then raced towards the living room "ANG! Kay is taking me ice skating!" he yelled. Following him Kait found Nick looking at the pies that her mother had placed on the table as her sister sat and stared at Nick from the other side of the room. "Hey Mr. Carter" Kait said as she approached him and her father. "Kait! How are you?" he asked as he looked down at the petite dark haired girl. "I am alive but I don't know for how much longer because..." she said glancing at her father. "No Kait" he said as he realized what she was asking for. "Come on daddy give it up" she said pointedly as she reached for his wallet on the coffetable but he got it before she did. "Dad!" she whined as she forced tears to glaze her eyes. "It isn't going to work" he said stubbornly. The tears quickly disenergrating "Fine..I already got Mom's" she said with a sigh then turned her attention back to Mr. Carter "I didn't know you guys were coming for Thanksgiving. No one told me" she said as she shot a glance at her sister who finally approached Nick. "We forgot?" her dad said sheepishly. "Uh huh sure." she said as she quickly as she excused herself from them and bounded over to her sister and Nick. "hey fellas" she said with a bright smile. "I have a really good idea Kay" Nick said a devious smile on his lips. "Is this something that is going to get me in trouble?" she demanded remembering their last hi jinx. A little road trip to long island. But his rental car got lost. Literally. And they had to hitch hike to a gas station that was 15 miles away in the middle of fall. "No" he said somewhat defensively but quickly dismissed what she said "I say that we steal these pies and run out to the guest house and lock all the doors and eat them" he said as he glanced back down at the pies. "Why are you always thinking with your stomach? Thats what got us in trouble last time" she reminded him "Come on kay we can go hunting for berries in the forest on Long Island. They are really good" she mocked. "So?" he said as he silently begged her with his eyes. "I think not Mr. Carter. You are going to get me in trouble." she said as she looked at her sister who still was standing next to them but had not taken her eyes of Nick's face. "Just kiss him for gosh sake" Kait said irritated as she was tired of watching her sister make googly eyes at him. "Kait!" her sister protested her own cheeks turning scarlet as Nick shot her a glare "Come on...Did you guys make any hot chocolate?" he asked as he guided her sister away from Kait. Sticking her tounge out she watched them retreat into the kitchen where the turkey smell enticed her senses. "HEY!" Aaron's high voice said as he rushed over to her and hopped on her back. Grabbing his legs so he wouldnt slip she looked up at him "Hey there tiger" she said as she twirled around in a circle as she walked towards the rec room where she hoped a movie was being played. "There is a new candy store kay! It opened today...can we go? Puhlease??" he whined as he looked at her over her shoulder. "I don't know Aaron...Why would they be open on Thanksgiving?" she questioned. "I don't know but I saw them on the ride over here" he said his voice filled with excitement and anticipation. "Ok...Ok...Where is Ang?" she asked as she surveyed the rec room. BJ and Leslie sat engrossed in some conversation as her younger brother wathced Aladdin. "She is in the kitchen trying to con your mom and my mom out of cookies" he said. "Ok this is the game plan" she said setting him down and turning to look at him "Go into my room grab my fleece jaket and my keys off my desk then meet me in the garage" she said with a smile. "Ok secret handshake kay" Aaron said holding out his hand.Laughing gently she shook his hand in their odd angle as she watched him race out of the rec room and towards the two flights of stairs. "Hey Ang" Kait whispered sticking her head into the kitchen. She knew her mother would have her head when she found out that she took the twins to a candy store on Thanksgiving but she rarely was able to tell Aaron no. Angel looked away form the cookies she was trying to get and at Kait. "Come on" Kait mouthed as Angel realized they were going to do something they weren't suppose to do. Which always equaled fun in her eyes. Even though it equaled punishment in Kait's part. "Ok" she mouthed back as she finally got the oreo's out of the jar. "Kait what are you doing?" a voice asked her startling her as her awkward footing slipped as she fell onto the kitchen floor as the swinging door booted her in the butt. Looking up she saw Nick's face that was trying not to laugh "LOOK WHAT YOU DID" she exclaimed as her mother and Nick's mother looked away from each other and at her. "Oops" Angel said as she walked over to Kait. "I'm sorry" Nick stiffled out but she just sent him a glare as she brushed herself off. "Kait?" her mothers asked as she knew something was up by the guilty look on Kait's face. "Uh huh?" she said as she bite her lower lip. "Whats going on?" she asked. "Nothing.." Kait mumbled as she took Angels hand "We are going to go...watch....the Lion King?" she said as she raced out of the kitchen."Kait! Look!" Aaron exclaimed as he marveled at all the candy. "Pick what you want" Kait said as she fished out her mom's credit card. Angel immediatly began poking and showing the clerk everything she wanted as Kait aimlessly looked around the small shop. "Yummy" she heard Aaron's squealy voice call out. "BOO" a voice cried out as someones hands encircled her waist. Shrieking she spun around to come face to face with Nick's playful face. "NICK!" she hissed as she hit his arm. "Sorry couldn't resist" he said sheepishly. "What are you doing here?" she demanded. "I followed you guys. Don't think I don't know when something is up" he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "You think you know me so well then what am I thinking" she demanded placing her hands on her hips as she cursed him silently and berated him for using the wrong holiday terms. "Your thinking i have the wrong holiday...probably not with that nice of terms though" he said with a laugh as he studied his face. "Ugh" she said but couldn't but help a smile filter into her face."We're ready!" Angel sang out as Kait pulled away from Nick and headed towards the cash register her own eyes wide in disbelief as she saw the candy that was nearly piled sky high. "Oh..Um...You guys are sure you can eat all that?" she asked as the clerk eyed the two twins in disbelief. "UH HUH" Aaron said nodding his head vigourously. "Ok..If you think so..." she said as she handed the cashier the credit card. "Hey what are you doing here?" Aaron demanded as Nick came into view. "Good to see you too" he said as Angel went running to him. Picking her up he tossed her onto his back as he eyed the candy "Kay I can get it" "No I got it" she said as the cashier rang it up eyeing the four of them as if they had just grown another head."Get in and buckle up" Kait lectured as she shut the door to the passenger car and turned to Nick who leaned against the rental car looking at her. The cold New York air turning his face slightly pale but his cheeks pink "How have you been Kay?" Nick asked softly. "I have been OK. Why do you ask? And I really don't think this is the prime spot for a conversation" she mumbled as she pulled her jacket tighter around her as a gust of wind nipped her face. "I know..But with all the festives...I can't ask you..and..." he said casting his eyes to the ground. "I am ok without you. If that's what you are asking" she said with a slight smile. "Oh. Of course. I didn't think you wouldn't be or anything. I just..Ok insert foot into mouth" he blushed. "Yea...Ok Nick" she said with a shrug then got into the car."KAIT!" her mother exclaimed as she saw the 4 of them walk into the house with two big bags of candy. "NICK" his own mother hollered as she spotted Angel and Aaron's chocolate colored faces. Kait's sister looked up from her magazine a frown crossing her face "Real slick" she said as she looked at the twins. "Oh mom the candy store was amazing! They had all different types! I thought my eyes would fall out!" Angel gushed as she raced to her mother who picked her up and studied her chocolate filled face. "Kait can I talk to you for a moment." her mother said as she pulled Kait into the den."I want to know what you were thinking right now" Kait's mother hissed as she tried keeping her voice down. Looking down at the rug Kait said nothing for a moment "Well Aaron...really...well...wanted some...and I didn't see any real harm..." she said feebly. "Is this about Nick?" her mother said softly. Her head snapping up kait looked up into her mothers eyes "What does Nick have to do with anything?" she asked. "You think me and your father didn't know?" she questioned. "Didnt know what?" Kait asked quietly her usually bouncy features growing incredibly still. "Kait....Every time Nick was anywhere near NY you somehow had to take some kind of unexplainable road trip with friends....He came to visit you were barely able to keep your eyes off one another......And then I still remember the day you read about some indiscretion in a magazine...We were driving home and your pace became the palest I have ever seen it. And you left the magazine in the car opened to the page and I looked....Kait I know you---adored him." she said quietly. kait turned her tear filled eyes away from her mother "I loved him mom. I didn't adore him. I loved him." she admitted her own eyes glazing over as she remember the conversation as if it happened yesterday.****************** "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? WHY DID I HAVE TO READ IT?" Kait demanded as she heard Nick's soft exhale. "kay---It just happened. I didn't think you would ever find out.." he mumbled. "That is besides the point! You have to be honest with me! I mean even if it is just out of respect." she hissed. "I never meant to hurt you" he said softly as his voice had grown smaller and smaller. "I sure as hell hope not" she managed out as her own tears found their way to the floor. "kay I will do anything-" Nick began but Kait cut him off "No Nick...You know what has to happen now" she said gently but firmly as she tried to keep the quiver out of her voice. "I don't want to lose you Kait" he said softly. Closing her eyes tightly she drew in a sharp breath. Lose him forever and move on. Or keep him but deal with the reminder. Could she live without that cute dimple in his cheek? Could she live without seeing that silly 'Frack' hat he had? "You...aren't going to lose me Nick....We are just going to be what we should have been to start with....Friends" she said softly. And with that one word she seemed to have sealed her fate.************** "But mother just because of my feelings for Nick does not mean I took them to the store because of it" Kait replied. "Kait..." her mother warned. "Ok...so maybe a little...." she mumbled as she admitted to herself she did want a little of the attention he was giving her sister. "But mom we are just friends" Kait said as she looked into her mothers eyes. "Kait..come here" her mom said as she pulled her down onto the couch as she sat across from her "We don't have mother to daughter conversations often I know...But listen to me. This is the one thing I will tell you. There are some people....You just can't be friends with. You just can't. Because how you feel about them or think about them has nothing to do with this" she said softly as she tapped Kait's forehead and then touched the tender spot, her heart "But it has to deal with this. You will love him Kait till it kills you both. I can see it in your eyes. You will love him. You will hate him. You will miss him. But you will never just be his friend. And he can never just be your friend." she said quietly. Kait looked away from mother as she took in a deep breath "We were doing so well" she said quietly. "It's ok honey to feel that way about some men. It is" she said softly as she took Kait into her arms and rocked her gently."Did you get into trouble? And why are you ignoring me?" Nick asked as he poked his head into Kait's bedroom as he spotted her curled up on her recliner watching her fireplace, her features distant and uninviting. Refusing to look at him Kait took in a deep breath "Get out Nick" she muttered as she pulled the blanket tighter around her. "What? Why?" he asked as he let himself all the way in and shut the door behind him. "Nick-Why is it I say get out and you come in?" she questioned as she turned and looked at him. Walking over to her slowly he sat down in front of her on the ground as he turned his blue eyes to her "what is wrong with you Kait?" Nick demanded as he flicked her on her shin. "Nick" she exclaimed as she pulled her legs to her chest "nothing is wrong" she mumbled. "Liar" he said as he sprang to his feet and took a seat on her lap as he pulled her legs down. "NICK" she exclaimed as he tried setting his 6 foot frame on her. "YOU ARE HEAVY" she said as she tried pushing him but he stayed rooted to her small lap. "I am not leaving till you tell me what crawled up that cute butt of yours and died" he said as she only stared at the back of his head. Flicking it with her finger she heard him cry out "OW" he said as he pinched her thigh. "HEY" she said as she hit his back "Stop" he whined. "Nick" she said with a sigh. "Look i can not do this with you right now" she said softly as she closed her eyes as she could almost not bear to be so close to him. "Do what?" he asked miffed "Are you sick Kay?" he asked trying to make sense of her strange behavior. "I am feeling fine" she said as she groaned and leaned her head against his sturdy back. "No you arent so what is up?" he questioned. "I can't do this anymore...I can't" she said quietly. "Do what?" he exclaimed exasperated. "This nick" she said as she stood up and he tumbled off her lap. Looking down at him he laid sprawled before her "ow" he mumbled still confused "You are not making sense. I think you caught a cold out there today" he said convinced with his explanation of her rash behavior. "NICK ARE YOU REALLY BLOND TO THE CORE?" she demanded. "Now what did I do? I swear I haven't slept with ANYONE" he said his eyes widening. Sinking to her knees before him she sighed "Thats just it Nick. that is it" she said in defeat. "Me sleeping with someone?" he said softly. "Yes. I can not keep----We can't be friends, I thought we could be. But we can't." she said helplessly. "Why not?" he demanded. "It isn't in us. Well it isn't in me. The passion i feel for you--it has to be either hate or love. It can never be downgraded to something like friendship" she replied weakly. "Kay" Nick said softly but she just turned her face from his "Dont deny it. You know it is true" she said as she wiped at the tears that were forming. "Kay....Then...Now what?" he questioned. Turning to look at him she studied his face as she recounted the 20 million compromising positions they found themseleves in and the 20 million times they had fought. And how through it all she could not but help but to love him more. "Just love me OK? Just love me again nick" she said with a sigh of defeat. Nick looked at her in surprise as he pulled her small body into his lap and held her tightly "As you wish milady" he said quietly. "Nick...I didn't thank God for anything but one thing this year" Kait said quietly after a moment of silence. "Why not?" he asked softly. "Because all the silent intentions I held in my heart, and all the gratitude I felt he knew....And because my only thought was of you. And I didn't have enough room to thank him for anything else" |