War
by Rachelle (HartsAngel@aol.com)

"Kait it will be OK really" Nick said gently as he cupped her heartshaped face in his hands.

Sniffing she tried fighting the tears "Nick...I--I don't want you to go. I mean what if something happens to you...I can't...I can't..." she said casting her dark eyes to the ground.

"Kait. Love nothing is going to happen I promise you" he whispered.

In a mad rush of emotion Kait reached out to Nick and clung to his sturdy frame as she wept bitterly into his tanned neck.

"Listen to me Katy-" he said stroking the back of her neck as she refused to let him go.


*Go on and close the curtains
'cause all we need is candlelight
You and me and the bottle of wine
and hold you tonight
Well, we know I'm going away
And how I wish, I wish it weren't so
so take this wine and drink with me
let's delay our misery...*


Kait let him pull her away from him for a moment "Kait I love you. I am coming home" he said softly but sternly as he ran his finger over the soft silk of her skin. She couldn't see it but his stomach was weak and his mind blank at the thought of going to go and have to fight a war he didn't even believe in. He looked at her dark eyes and her soft skin and all he wanted to do was hold her. And hold her.


*Save tonight
fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
Tomorrow I'll be gone*


"I don't want you to go. I can't lose you" she whispered tenderly as she felt with every breath she took her heart bled a little more deeper red.

"You won't. I have so much to come back to. I have you. Death won't take me. Because he knows I love you" he said but knew that the soft syllables that fell from his mouth would never take away the ache he knew she was experiencing.


*There's a log on the fire
and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire..
to take me away*


"I love you Nickolas Gene Carter even if that is a load of BS" she said trying to smile through the wave of doubts and pain.

"Worse comes to worse-It's OK. Because you own my soul. And so I have nothing to worry about" he said as he kissed her tenderly.

Kait hesitantly took his silent promise as she infused all her womanly love into this one, last kiss. Closing her eyes she let the saltless tears bleed from her eyes as she ran her trembling hands along his sculptured face. Trying to imprint into the feel of her skin what it felt to touch him.


*It ain't easy to say goodbye
darling please don't start to cry
'cause girl you know I've got to go
and Lord I wish it wasn't so*


Nick held her beating heart to his own as he took in her scent once more. As his own tears filled his heart as he felt the blood of her eyes drip down his cheeks with things he knew she longed to say. As his own mouth had whispers that were to be spoken. But for all his intention he knew she knew. And he knew no words would pass between them.


*Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
but girl you know I've got to go, oh
and Lord I wish it wasn't so*


In an effort that would have moved heaven and hell Kait pulled herself away from her tender love and with a trembling finger laid it on his soft lips and closed her eyes. Asking the God's of heaven and war to help her walk away from him she pulled herself off the sand as she smiled tightly and turned her eyes to the moon that hung over them. The soft rush of the sea to the shore made her remind herself it was OK. Looking into his blue eyes once more she did nothing but nod. There was nothing else to say. Nothing else to hear. 'I love you' she yearned to say. But she knew he knew. Smiling tightly in the awkwardness of the moment she felt the sadness and desolation creep slowly into her dying heart. "be careful. And come home" she whispered finally. Not moving from his own seat on the sand he hung his head as he took her soft hand in his and pressed a kiss onto it.

***************************************

Kait stared at two envelopes that had her name scribbled on both. Taking a deep breath she felt the last two years reflect in her eyes every time she looked in the mirror. She was torn that her dearest Nickolas was living such a hell. Hesitantly opening a letter she could not but help sigh as Nick's hand writing soothed her sore eyes "he's still alive" she said aloud as the relief flooded her body.

My dearest Kait,

The war seems to be going on forever. I know you are seeing horrid pictures but do not be afraid for me. At once I did not believe in the unholiness of this place. But I see what needs to be done, and I can not argue. Instead I just perform my patriotic duties. So that your survival and my own is ensured. I do not fight this war for our President. I do not fight this war for the many faceless faces. I fight this war so you can live in a better world, and I should perish it will be OK. Because it is for you.

I see your face everywhere my dearest Kait and the soft words that accompany your letter eases the scared heart I harbor in my body. But in me I still rejoice because I know my soul you guard because at night I do not hear the steady screams I do not see the bloodshed. I only see you when my dreams come. I only hear you when I sleep. I'll only know you when I keep on.

Tomorrow we will attack a bunker harboring some biological weapons, pray for me oh dearest love? I will be thinking of you my sweet Kait. If worse things happen please don't feel sad. Don't mourn for me. I never left you. I'll never leave you. Kiss the wind and I will feel it. Laugh to the sun and I will see it. And dream to the moon and I will revel in it. My kiss of love and gratitude to you is on the wind. Watch for it. I love you my dearest Kait. One way or another I will come home to you.

Love,
Nick


Kait felt her eyes water with a sense of endless tears as she looked at the second envelope. She didn't need to open it. She knew what it was. She knew what is said. Her only love was finally free. He finally came home. Hanging her heavy head she reached out hesitantly in the air as the air brushed against her own hand and she knew he was there. Looking up she smiled to the setting sun and let her dreams answer the beckoning moon.

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