Emilie's New Life by Emilie (emmarosebsb@hotmail.com) Chapter 8 "Well guys, I guess this is goodbye for the holidays," Emilie told the guys, as she finished packing her clothes from the hospital. She had telephoned her parents and told them she would be home in the afternoon. She wanted to see Clarissa very much, and missed her family terribly. This experience had also made her realize how precious life was, and she was going to work hard to fulfill all the relationships in her life. "Goodbye, no way," AJ told her. "We are coming home with you for a couple of days." "What?" Emilie responded, as her eyes grew wide. "But, I mean, don't you want to go home for the holidays?" "We have plenty of time," Howie winked at her. "We couldn't possibly be so close to your house that we can't stop in and see your family and new little sister." "Thanks guys," Emilie felt tears come to her blue eyes. "I am so happy right now." "We are relieved," Brian sighed, and Emilie nodded. She glanced at their faces, and she was so amazed at how much they all cared about her. She was so happy to have gotten the opportunity to get to know them, when she had met them almost one and half years before. She thanked God every day for her family and her friends. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was. "What time does the flight leave?" Nick wanted to know, as he tossed Emilie her teddy bear. "Three o'clock," Kevin answered. "Billie's coming, right?" "Yeah!" Emilie replied, and she paused for a minute. "Wait, have you guys talked my mom yet about staying over?" "Sure did," Kevin assured her. "Your mom said we could stay downstairs or at a motel if we couldn't handle the chaos." "Handle the chaos?" Emilie laughed. "Guys, you'll want to stay at the motel. Between Brandy and Jordan getting hyper over Santa Claus to Clarissa and my parents fussing over her to Mouse getting overly excited and Mike coming home, we'll have a big chaotic household." "Don't forget me!" Billie sang, coming into the room with her suitcase. "I'm finally going home for the holidays." "Great," AJ muttered, and Billie punched him. "Hey!" "I can always hear you AJ," Billie teased him, and he responded by grinning. Emilie grinned, as she saw a pearl white stretch limo pull up outside the hospital. "I wonder who that's for," Emilie commented, as she waited anxiously for the driver to open the door. "Hello ladies and gentlemen," the driver greeted them. "How are you this morning?" "This is for us?" Emilie asked everyone, amazed. "But, it's so expensive. I mean, we could have taken a cab!" "Em, a cab wouldn't fit seven people," Billie reminded her, as she climbed in. "Heck, I'll take this!" "Thanks so much guys," Emilie told them, as tears came to her eyes. "Honestly, you are too good to me." "Em, hey, we love ya," Brian grinned back, and gave her a quick hug, before retreating into the limo. Kevin, Howie, and AJ climbed in, leaving Nick and Emilie on the outside. "Go ahead Em," Nick grinned at her. "No, you go ahead," Emilie smiled back, and he climbed in. "We have a bit of a problem!" AJ complained. "There's only room for six people." "I'll sit on the floor," Emilie said from outside. "No, sit here," Kevin told her, as he moved over, causing AJ to fall to the floor. "Aw, thanks," AJ commented, as he rubbed his leg. "I'll sit on the floor!" Emilie argued. "Yeah right," Brian told her. "You've just been in the hospital. AJ can sit on the floor." "I'll sit on the floor with you AJ," Billie flirted with him. "Okay, Billie and I got the floor," AJ said, and everyone laughed. "Guys, could I come in?" Emilie pleaded with them. "I'm kind of cold." "Come in!" Howie encouraged her, and she climbed in beside him, shivering, "I need a winter jacket," Emilie commented, as Howie took his coat off, and draped it around her shoulders. "Thanks." "So, has anyone finished their Christmas shopping yet?" Kevin wanted to know. "No," replied Nick. "I haven't even started. Hey Em and Billie. Want to go shopping tomorrow?" "Yeah sure," Emilie agreed. "I have some stuff to get still." "Want to do you all want for Christmas?" Howie wanted to know. "What should I buy Dalilia and Katie?" "A diamond ring," suggested AJ, and everyone nodded. "Okay," Howie nodded, as he thought about what type he should purchase. He didn't even know Dalilia's ring size and wondered if he should just ask her... ************* "What time are they arriving?" Brandy whined to Mrs. Parker, as she bounced from foot to foot in the front livingroom. Jordan was sitting beside Mrs. Parker and Clarissa on the couch, as Clarissa slept in Mrs. Parker's arms, and Jordan played Pokemon on his gameboy. The snow was falling lightly outside, as Mr. Parker shoveled the driveway and Mouse was lying near him in the snow. "Soon honey," Mrs. Parker whispered back, not wanting to awake Clarissa. "Just be patient." "But I miss Emilie!" Brandy whined. "I haven't seen her in a long time." "I miss Sissie too Mommy," Jordan agreed, as he put his gameboy down. "How come Clarissa is replacing her?" "Clarissa isn't replacing Emilie Jordan," replied Mrs. Parker. "Omigoodness! They're here!" Brandy screamed, as she ran towards the front door and opened it. "Sissie!" "Brandy! Wait!" Mrs. Parker yelled after her, as Clarissa woke up, and began crying. Brandy ignored Mrs. Parker and flew out into the snow in her slippers. She ran towards the rental van that had pulled up, that Kevin was driving, and waited as an unknown girl came out of the front seat. "Who are you?" Brandy asked the girl. "Hi," the girl said. "You must be Brandy. I'm Billie, Emilie's roommate." "Oh, hi," Brandy grinned, as the back door opened, and out came AJ. "AJ! Aw!" "Hi sweetheart," AJ smiled, as he picked her up, and gave her a hug. "How are you?" "I missed you!" Brandy whispered, as tears came to her eyes. "Nick! Brian! Wow! Howie! Hi! Sissie!!" "Hi Honey," Emilie said, as AJ helped her out of the van. "Why are you out here in your slippers?" "I missed you so much Sissie!" Brandy whispered, as tears spilled down her cheeks. Emilie took her from AJ and wrapped her arms around her. "I missed you too Honey," Emilie whispered back, as tears came to her eyes as well. "Clarissa is so pretty," Brandy told everyone. "Come and meet her." "Okay," Nick agreed, as he smiled at Brandy. "Are you all ready for Santa Claus?" "Yeah!" Brandy smiled, as she gave him a hug. "I want a Britney Spears doll!" "Hit me baby one more time," AJ sang, as Billie laughed. Kevin headed to the back of the van with Howie and Brian to get the suitcases that were stowed in the back. The snow was now swirling down in musical patterns, and it was becoming hard to see anything. Nick picked up Brandy to get her feet out of the snow, and they headed towards Mr. Parker and Mouse that were standing near the front door. Mouse noticed Emilie right away and began barking with delight. He jumped up as soon as she approached, and jumped at her, almost causing her to be knocked over. "Someone's happy to see you," Billie observed, as Emilie bent down to pet him. "Hello everyone," Mr. Parker said, as he stopped shoveling. "How was your flight?" "Hi Dad," Emilie smiled, giving him a hug. "Good. You remember everyone right?" "Sure do," Mr. Parker nodded, as he shook AJ’s and Nick's hands. "Nice to see you all again." "Nice to see you too Sir," AJ grinned, as the front door swung open. There stood Mrs. Parker with Clarissa in her arms and Jordan by her side. "Aw! She's so cute!" Emilie breathed, as she stared at her new little sister. "Can I hold her?" "Sure honey!" Mrs. Parker answered, as she allowed to come in, and Emilie took Clarissa in her arms. Mrs. Parker preceeded to give hugs to everyone, as Jordan wrapped his arms around Emilie's waist and wouldn't let go. Mouse pranced in, and settled beside Emilie's feet, as she headed into the front livingroom. Clarissa's eyes were as baby blue as Nick's, and she stared into Emilie's eyes, barely a week old. Emilie knew she wouldn't smile for a long time, but her smile reminded her of Brandy and Jordan, when they were born. "She's really sweet," Nick commented, as he sat down beside Emilie on the couch. "She reminds me of Angel and Aaron." "Yeah, she reminds me of Jordan and Brandy," Emilie smiled. "Want to hold her?" "Sure," Nick replied enthusiastically, and Emilie placed her in his arms. She then stood up, as Mouse followed her out of the livingroom and observed pure chaos in the kitchen. Mrs. Parker was bustling around the kitchen, as Brian helped her put out some apple cider and eggnog. Brandy was helping AJ put out some Christmas cookies, as Jordan entertained Kevin and Howie with a silly rendition of 'Jingle Bells'. Billie was perched on the kitchen counter, joking around with AJ and Brandy, as Mr. Parker hung up his jacket in the hall closet. Mike has just come home, and was chatting away with Howie and Kevin now. "Wow," Emilie commented. "Mom, need some help?" "No honey," replied Mrs. Parker. "Go sit down and relax." "But Mom, I want to help," Emilie replied, as she came towards the Christmas mugs, and helped Brian fill them up. "Where's Clarissa Mommy?" Jordan asked her from across the room. "With Nick in the livingroom," answered Emilie. "Can we see her?" Howie wanted to know, and Mrs. Parker encouraged them to go see her. Kevin and Howie headed into the livingroom, as Brian and Mrs. Parker set up the cups on a tray with Emilie's help. AJ reached for some plates and Brandy placed her ginger bread cookies on a tray outlined with snowmen. "Emilie, can you get some napkins?" Mrs. Parker asked her, and she nodded. Billie grabbed a handful as well, and everyone retreated into the livingroom. Nick was still holding Clarissa when they went in, so Brandy plopped down beside him on the couch, and Jordan jumped into Howie's lap. Kevin and him were sitting on two armchairs facing one side of the couch. Mrs. Parker and Mr. Parker took the two other vacant chairs, as AJ encouraged Emilie and Billie to sit down on the couch. Billie shook her head and sat down beside Howie's chair. Emilie sat on the armchair of the couch besides Nick, and AJ and Brian were forced to sit down on the couch. "Cookies anyone?" Brandy sang, as she picked up the cookies, offering Mike one, as he appeared at the door. "Thanks," Mike commented. "Emilie, how are you feeling now?" "Good thanks Mike," Emilie answered, smiling at him. "How were your exams?" "Don't even mention the world exam to me," commented Billie. "I hate them." "I have to take all mine still," Emilie got worried, as Clarissa started gurgling. "Want me to take her?" "No, it's okay," Nick smiled. "Nick won't let anyone hold her," Howie commented, and Nick gave him a Look. "You can hold Clarissa if you want to," Nick replied, but there was no way he was going to hand her over. Clarissa yawned, as Mouse came into the room, and laid down near Emilie's feet. "I think Mouse missed you the most," Kevin told her, as he reached down, and began petting him. "I think so too," Emilie agreed. "You guys want some apple cider?" "Sure!" Howie answered, as AJ reached over and began pouring it into some cups. "Emilie, we have a big favour to ask you," Mrs. Parker began. "You see, your father and I still need to get some shopping done. I was wondering if you would mind if we went tonight because it's midnight madness." "Sure," Emilie agreed smiling. "Would it be a problem if we came to?" Kevin asked her. "We haven't gotten any shopping done yet either." "Sure!" Mrs. Parker grinned. "The more, the merrier. We'll load up the van!" "So, who wants to go shopping?" Howie asked, and they agreed that he, Kevin, Brian, Billie, Mr. Parker, AJ, and Mrs. Parker would go to the mall with Mike, leaving Nick and Emilie behind to watch Clarissa, Brandy, and Jordan. "Are you sure you don't want to go?" AJ asked Nick. "I can stay back and help Emilie." "No," Nick answered. "I'm going shopping tomorrow with Emilie." "You guys better be careful," Emilie warned them. "We'll be fine," Brian assured her. "Nick, let Emilie rest because she needs to." Nick nodded, and everyone headed out of the livingroom to get ready, as soon as the apple cider and eggnog and cookies were all gone. Clarissa yawned, and fell asleep soon after, as Emilie checked the clock and realized it was almost five o'clock. She wished she could have gone shopping too. Being in the hospital room for a few days had caused her to become lonely and she hated being stuck somewhere for too long. She was also worried about everyone going shopping since there was no security and some people might recognize the guys right away and chase after them. She noticed Nick had retreated from the room with Jordan and Brandy, probably to put Clarissa into her bed, so she began cleaning up the mugs and empty cookie plates. She saw the calendar in the kitchen was shining with the date December 18th and she cringed at the thought that Christmas was only one week away. She figured the guys would stay until tomorrow or the 20th, and then travel home for the holidays. She remembered Ariale and Oceane would be home for the holidays, so she decided to give them a call. "Clarissa's sleeping and Jordan and Brandy are watching Jack Frost," Nick informed her, as he came into the kitchen. He saw a worried look on her face, and longed to hug her. He had spoke to Mandy just before they left at the airport, and had felt bad about Emilie once more. He had seen the way she had reacted with Brandy and Jordan, and realized why he had fallen for her in the first time. She was warm and caring, and even though he had hurt her so much, she was willing to forgive him. She was the most incredible person he had ever met, but realized, she was too good for him. She deserved someone who would love her eternally and treat her right. He couldn't do that. He could in the beginning, but he knew he couldn't in the future. Mandy was more better for him. He also made a vow to himself that whoever was the lucky guy to get Emilie, better treat her right. He hoped he was nice and caring. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Emilie wanted to know, as she began loading dishes into the dishwasher. "Sorry, just thinking," Nick answered, blushing. "About what?" Emilie asked curious. "I hope it's not about what's happened Nick. I don't want you worrying about it." "No, it's nothing," Nick said quickly, as he began scraping plates off. "Sissie!" Brandy screamed from the livingroom. "Come and watch the movie!" "I will, in a minute," Emilie yelled, as she slowed down to catch her breath. "Emilie, you'd better go rest," Nick suggested. "I don't want you overdoing it." "Nick, I can't leave you doing the dishes at my house," Emilie argued, but realized that relaxing was a great idea. She thanked him, by giving him a quick hug, and went into the family room where Brandy and Jordan were. They were sprawled out on the floor with Mouse between them. Nick came in soon after, and settled beside her on the couch. He sat close to her, and wrapped an arm around her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. "Em, how are you feeling?" Nick asked her, as she looked up at him. "Huh?" Emilie answered, blushing. Her head shot up, and she bounced away from him. "Em, friends cuddle," Nick told her, and she looked at him. "Nick, I can't do this anymore," Emilie told him bluntly. "We are no longer dating and snuggling with you is no longer an option." "Em, I didn't mean-," Nick replied shocked, and Emilie shook her head. "Nick, make up your mind and stick to it!" she snapped, and stormed out of the room. The phone as soon as she entered the kitchen and ran to pick it up. She saw Mandy's number beep up on the screen and she cringed. "Hello?" "Who's this?" Mandy sang into the phone. "Emilie!" she said coldly. "Why are you calling my house?" "I'm looking for my boyfriend!" Mandy snapped back. "Call him on his cell phone!" Emilie yelled, and she slammed the phone down. She saw Nick's phone by the coffee maker and picked it up as he came into the kitchen. "Who was it?" Nick wanted to know. "The Bitch," Emilie replied, and she tossed him the phone. "Call her back. And also, this is my house, and I don't want her calling here anymore Nick!" "Em, please, don't-," Nick answered, catching the phone, but she refused to hear him. She stomped into her bedroom, and slammed the door behind her. She collapsed on the bed, as the phone rang again in her room. She picked it up, wishing it wasn't Mandy again. "Hello?" Emilie said into the phone. "Em! Hey! It's Ariale!" she sang, as she heard a knock on her door. "What?" Emilie snapped. "Em, Clarissa's up," Nick told her. "Can I feed her?" "Whatever," Emilie yelled back, and she heard Nick sigh. "Hi Ariale. How are you?" "Hey Em," Ariale answered back. "You sound real happy! Who were you talking to?" "Nick," Emilie replied sighing. "So, how are you?" "I'm okay actually," Ariale answered, as Emilie sank down into her pillows once more. "My trip home was great." "Awesome," Emilie said. "I've had a great couple of days. Let's see, I almost had cancer, but it was really only a virus and then Nick revealed to me he loves Mandy instead of me." "Oh no!" Ariale cried. "Why is Nick there then?" "All the guys are here," Emilie answered, sighing once more. "They are shopping with my parents, Mike, and Billie." "Really?" Ariale piped up. "Can I come see them?" "Sure!" Emilie answered enthusiastically. Seeing Ariale again would cheer her up for sure. "Wait a minute, you said you had cancer? What?" Ariale cried all of a sudden. "I collapsed a few days ago," Emilie began. "The doctors said I had a mole on my shoulder and they said it was a benign tumor. It was really only a virus though Ariale. My mom had the baby as well. She had a girl named Clarissa." "Em!" Nick yelled from the other side of the door. "Clarissa's crying!" "Ariale, I gotta go," Emilie said to her. "Clarissa's up and I have to go see if she's okay." "Okay," Ariale agreed. "I'll stop by tomorrow." "Okay, bye," Emilie replied quickly, and she hung the receiver up. She walked towards the door, and opened it to reveal Nick with Clarissa in his arms. There was evidence of tears on her cheeks, but now she was fast asleep. Jordan and Brandy were standing by Nick, curiously wondering what was going on. "Em, she's okay now," Nick offered her a smile, and she ignored him. She took Clarissa from his arms, and walk into her bedroom, slamming the door in his face. She heard Jordan questioning Nick, as the door opened, and Brandy slipped in. "Stay out Nick! Sissie doesn't want to talk to you!" Brandy snapped at him, and slammed the door in his face again. Emilie laid Clarissa down in her crib once more, and turned on her mobile. She made sure everything was secure, and allowed Brandy to kiss her good night. They left, and closed the door behind them. Emilie walked into the kitchen to see Nick and Jordan popping some popcorn. She ignored him once more, getting a drink, and then retreated to her bedroom. Brandy stayed with Nick in the kitchen and they settled down to watch a movie. Nick had given her questioning eyes the whole time he was there, but knew better to leave her alone. Emilie switched on her laptop and decided to surf the internet. She decided to surf into a chatroom and discovered the official Backstreet Boys band chatroom. She had never been in there before, and decided to check it out, and logged on to see unfamiliar names. She registered her chatname as TwinklingStar and headed into see many unique and interesting chatnames. TwinklingStar: Hello everyone! How are you all today? MrsFrack: Hi TwinklingStar! I'm okay thanks! How are you? TwinklingStar: Tired! Where are you from? MrsFrack: Orlando, Florida. You? TwinklingStar: Toronto, Ontario. Who is your favourite Backstreet Boy? MrsFrack: Nick! You? TwinklingStar: Definitely not Nick. I like them all! :) MrsFrack: Why do you hate Nick? TwinklingStar: Because he's an asshole. No, he's okay, he's just-I dunno. MrsFrack: Nick is not an asshole! I think you are jealous of him. TwinklingStar: Jealous of him? Hell no! You don't even know the real him! MrsFrack: Like you do? TwinklingStar: Yes I do! Who cares though?! MrsFrack: Are you Emilie? TwinklingStar: No! MrsFrack: Oh sorry! I just figured because you said you know him and Emilie's from Toronto and I know Nick and Emilie broke up. TwinklingStar: Broke up? How do you know? MrsFrack: Everyone's talking about it! Did you know Emilie has cancer? She's dying. TwinklingStar: No! She's not dying! MrsFrack: How do YOU know? TwinklingStar: Because I'm a close friend of Emilie's and she's just fine. MrsFrack: Sure. Whatever. Anyway, tell Emilie, IF you know her that all of us fans hate Mandy. She's a bitch. TwinklingStar: I know how you feel! "Hey! Emilie!" she heard Nick cry, and Emilie jumped. She saw Nick standing behind her, reading everything she said. "What are you doing?" Emilie snapped at him, as she shut the computer off quickly. "What are you doing?" Nick repeated, as she saw anger in his eyes. "That's mean Em!" "Well, all the fans hate Mandy!" Emilie snapped back, standing up. "Emilie, what's really bothering you?" Nick asked her softly. "The other night, you were all sweet and stuff. Now, you are acting like a...like um...how can I say this?" "Like Mandy?" Emilie sneered, and she saw Nick's eyes go wide open with shock. She also realized what she had just realize, as her behaviour over the night escalated back to her. She couldn't believe how unreasonable she was being. How much she was allowing Mandy to control her life. She really missed Nick with all her heart and was allowing a side of herself to show that she rarely ever allowed to show. She saw Nick's eyes fill with confusion and she felt eternally bad for everything that had happened. "Em, I'm sorry for everything that has happened," Nick said softly. "I hate putting you through all this. I realized today that you are too good for me. I can't give you, what you need." "How do you know what I need?" Emilie cried, as tears split down her cheeks. "I don't know," Nick replied honestly. "I do know that I can't be the type of boyfriend you want me to be anymore." "What type of boyfriend do you think I want?" Emilie questioned him, as she wiped the tears away. "Someone who's always there for you," Nick began. "Someone's who's not on tour 40 weeks or more out of the year. Someone who can love you and only you. Someone you can trust. Someone who doesn't cheat on you." "Nick, you are always there for me," Emilie told him. "I don't care when you tour because although you were never there with me physically, I always knew you were in my heart. I support your career. I always have. I understand that's very important and I would never make you choose between your career and you." "Em, I never said-," Nick told her. "Wait Nick, I have more to say," Emilie silenced him. "I have learned to trust you. Sure we had hard times, but I forgave you for everything that happened. I love you Nick. I always have and I probably always will." "See Emilie?" Nick told her. "You are too good for me." "Why am I took good for you?" Emilie replied. "I'm not beautiful. I'm not skinny. I'm just a nice person and that's it." "Em, you are much more then a nice person," Nick informed her. "You are sweet. You are beautiful. You are a good listener." "And so are you Nick," Emilie whispered softly. "You are wonderful too. Sometimes I don't think I deserve you." "No way Em," Nick argued with her, but she had genuiness in her light blue eyes. "Nick, listen, Mandy is not good enough for you," Emilie told him. "I'm not saying this because of what has happened between her and I. I am saying this as a friend. She doesn't care about you. She's only interested in one thing." "Em, you don't know her," Nick argued with her again, as she leaned across the hallway wall. "She's a really caring person beneath her cattiness." "Nick, I just don't want you to get hurt," Emilie admitted. "Em, damn it, I hate this!" Nick exclaimed, as he turned away from her. "You are making me fall in love with you again!" "Nick, I'm not doing anything," Emilie said. "I'm just being your friend." "Emilie Parker, you are awesome," Nick told her, turning around to face her. "I love you so much Hun. You do not know, but we need to let go of our relationship. I need to let go of you." "Nick, you are making me blush," Emilie joked, and Nick smiled. "Nick, yeah, I think we need to explore our options as well. I love you too, a lot. I'll always care about you." "Em, we have to promise right now, we will be best friends," Nick pleaded with her. "I know you hate Mandy, but I need your support." "I don't hate Mandy," Emilie admitted. "I just think she's a bitch, but that's just my opinion." "Okay, forget Mandy," Nick waved his hand. "Just promise me, we'll always be friends." "I promise Hun," Emilie whispered, as tears came to her eyes. "I'm sorry about the chatlog Nick." "It's okay," Nick grinned, as relief wagered over all his body. "I'm just happy everything is cool with us." "Me too," Emilie nodded, and Nick came over to give her a gigantic hug. They heard rustling behind them, and turned to see AJ standing there with Brian and Billie. "Hello," Brian smiled at them. "Are you guys okay?" "We sure are!" Nick winked at Emilie. "Wait, why are you guys home so early?" "Look outside!" Billie squealed, as she grabbed Emilie's hand and led her towards her bedroom window. "It's snowing!" "Wow!" Emilie breathed, glancing out the window, with Nick behind her. "It's so breathtakingly beautiful." "Your parents headed over to see your grandma's because her heat is not working," AJ informed Emilie. "Mike and Kevin went with them to see if they could help out." "Okay," Emilie nodded. "So, how was shopping?" "We never actually made it to the mall," Brian answered, as they headed into the kitchen. "There is almost zero visibility when you get into the storm." "Where's Howie?" Billie wanted to know, as AJ raided some Christmas cookies on the counter for everyone. "Right here," Howie responded. They turned to see him holding Jordan and holding Brandy's hand. Jordan was asleep, and Brandy was half asleep, as Howie led her into the kitchen. "Someone's tired!" Billie observed. "Want me to put them to bed Emilie?" "Sure Billie, thanks," Emilie answered smiling. Howie decided to help her, and they headed into the bedrooms together. "Want some hot chocolate?" Nick asked Brian and AJ, and they nodded. "Remember the last time we were here?" AJ asked them. "It was prom time!" Emilie answered, as she boiled some water. "I had so much fun then." "Yeah, that was a lot of fun," AJ agreed, as Nick helped pour the hot chocolate into the steaming mugs. "Marshmallows?" Emilie suggested, and everyone nodded. "Prom was just another example of how you guys have done for me. I really appreciate you all coming to it and performing there. It really meant a lot to me and all my friends." "Not a prob Em," Brian smiled, as she handed him a mug. "You have done a lot for us as well." "Not really," Emilie muttered softly. "Yes you have!" AJ argued with her. "Em, do you we have to go through this again?" "No," Emilie answered, as she sat down at the kitchen table. "I'm sorry." "Don't apologize Hun," AJ reassured her. "I just wish you'd know that we do really care about you. You keep telling us we don't, and we all talked about it. It really hurts us because we wonder if you really don't think we care about you and it hurts us." "I'm sorry AJ," Emilie apologized again. "I do know you care about me. I just don't think sometimes I deserve it." "Why wouldn't you deserve it?" Brian wanted to know. "I don't know," Emilie answered, as she looked into her cup.0 "They're sleeping like angels," Howie commented as he came into the kitchen, followed by a tired-looking Billie. "Em, can I go to bed?" Billie asked, yawning. "Oh excuse me." "Sure!" Emilie nodded. "There is extra blankets and pillows in my closet if you want some." "Thanks Em," Billie smiled. "Good night everyone." They all nodded good night to her, as Howie got some hot chocolate from the kitchen, and settled down at the table. "Thanks for putting the kids to bed Howie," Emilie smiled at him. "I really appreciate it." "Not a problem," Howie smiled back. "You need your rest." "I feel a little better then I did yesterday," Emilie told them. "I still feel very weak though." "It's only natural to feel that way after a big ordeal you have been through," Brian commented. "I was like that after my surgery last year. I am just thankful everything went very well for me." "We are thankful too Brian," Nick assured him, patting his shoulder. "Yeah Brian," Emilie agreed, as she felt more tears come to her eyes, and everyone was quiet for a moment. "We have all been through a lot lately," AJ spoke up first. "Our lives have taken a real turn around." "I know," Nick nodded. "The new album, the tour, and our new management. That was Hell for a few months." "Everything has gotten much better though," Howie said. "I love our new album and the tour has been more relaxing then the last US tour we did in the summer of 1998. That tour was good, but we never had much free time." "I agree," AJ said. "Back then, nobody seemed to care about what we wanted. Now, we have our say in a lot of the business and creative sides of our careers, and I couldn't be more happier." "Face it guys, we are doing very well," Brian grinned. "Don't ya think so Em?" "Of course I do!" Emilie answered. "And you deserve it all because you have worked so hard." "Hard work does pay off," Howie agreed. "So, Em, what do you want to do in the future?" "I think I'll like to become a police officer," Emilie replied, and she saw their eyes become large. "A police officer?" Nick repeated. "Um...wow. That's interesting." "Why are you all so surprised?" Emilie wanted to know, trying to suppress her laughter. "I just couldn't imagine you as one," AJ said. "I mean Emilie, you are too much of a sweetie to be a big, tough cop." "Aw thanks Bone," Emilie smiled, and she began laughing. "What? What's so funny?" Nick asked confused. "I'm kidding!" Emilie squealed, and everyone looked at her. "I'm kidding guys! Do you think I honestly want to be a police officer? That would be cool, but AJ's right. I could never be aggressive and mean. I want to be a teacher." "That's much better!" Howie said relieved. "And in three years, we'll come visit you on the job." "If I get a job," Emilie added, as she smiled. "So, what do you all want for Christmas?" "I want Amanda in my arms," AJ responded, as a far away dream expression captured his face. "I want it to snow in Florida!" Brian grinned, and Emilie nodded. "Nah. I don't know what I really want. I have everything I want. A successful career, a beautiful girlfriend, and family and friends who are happy and healthy. What more could a guy want?" "Same here," Howie agreed. "I just want everyone in the world to be happy. How about you Nick?" "Some new video games?" Nick suggested, and everyone laughed. "I really don't know actually. Anything's fine." "And what do you want Ms. Parker?" AJ asked, and Emilie smiled again. "I want to always be friends of yours," Emilie answered honestly. "After you guys retire from singing, I want to be able to come see you and get together with you, and be friends forever." "Em, you don't have to wish for that because we all know we'll always be friends," Brian told her. "Good," Emilie nodded. "I guess you really are my big brothers huh?" "What else would we be?" AJ grinned, as he sipped his hot chocolate. "And you are our little sister." "Maybe we should go to court and legalize this!" Nick suggested. "Em, actually, we have a favour to ask you," Howie became silent for a moment, and she saw their faces all become serious. "Actually, it's three favours," Brian added. "We were going to ask you last week, but with all the excitement of the last few weeks, we held off." "Sure guys," Emilie nodded. "You know you can ask me anything." "Okay," AJ nodded. "Well, the first one isn't really a big deal. Would you like to come to the American Music Awards and the Grammy Awards with us next month?" "Sure!" Emilie cried enthusiastically. "You don't even have to ask because I would have been there in an instant!" "Awesome!" Nick grinned. "We're going to have so much fun!" "The next two guys?" Emilie asked anxiously. "Okay, well you know, our next single is 'I Need You Tonight', right?" Howie asked her, and she nodded slightly. "Well, we have decided to cast a girl in our video who is a real person," Brian told her. "I'm saying this wrong. You see, we have gotten a lot of criticism for putting females in our videos who are categorized as 'perfect'. We want to break down the barrier of this, and put someone in our video who is just like all our fans. See what I'm saying?" "Yes," Emilie nodded. "And what does this have to do with me?" "Well, we want you to be in our video!" Brian replied. "I mean, you are beautiful and you are real." "Yeah, and I'm fat too," Emilie added, shaking her head. "I didn't say that Emilie!" Brian replied softly. "I'm just saying that you aren't a perfect size 4, okay?" "I know I'm not," Emilie nodded. "I'm a perfect size equivalent to a whale." "Emilie! You are not a whale!" AJ argued with her. "Guys, I think it's really sweet that you are doing that," Emilie told them. "But, shouldn't you get someone's who's beautiful in the video?" "You are beautiful!" Nick told her. "And we want you in the video. We've discussed this so much Emilie, and you are the one we want!" "Seriously guys?" Emilie repeated. "Of course Hun," Howie answered. "We wouldn't ask you, if we didn't want you." "Well, okay, I will, but just make it's okay with Jive, Trans Con, and everyone because I don't want to embarrass you," Emilie agreed. "Emilie, I already embarrass the guys enough," AJ laughed, and she grinned. "No you don't AJ," Emilie smiled, and AJ smiled back. "And the other favour...," Brian trailed off. "Nick, you tell her." "Emilie, we want you to do a duet with us on our new album!" Nick announced proudly, and saw Emilie's become wide. "Really? Wow!" Emilie commented, surprised. "So, will you?" AJ pleaded. "But, I'm not that really good of a singer," Emilie responded. "My voice is kind of hoarse." "Emilie, you sing like an angel," Brian told her. "We all heard that tape you did with Nick last March. You are perfect." "But, shouldn't you do it with Britney or Christina?" Emilie suggested. "We would love to, but we think you sing just as well as them," Nick answered. "Thanks guys," Emilie thanked them, as she finished off her hot chocolate. "This is great! I would love to." "Awesome!" AJ cried, and he gave her a big hug. "We'll have so much fun." "Thanks for asking me!" Emilie grinned, as she heard the wind pick up outside... *Hi everyone, especially to Rachel, Edie, Shannon, Debbie, Shy112, and everyone else who reads my story. You guys are awesome. Well, it's Christmas Eve, and I'm freezing my butt off. I decided to finish this chapter quick and I am proud of it, more then Chapter Seven. That was a really confusing chapter. A few people have suggested I should get AJ and Emilie together. I think it's a great idea, but I also like the friends thing more. I know some of you are upset because I broke Emilie and Nick, but the main reason I did it was because I want to make my story as realistic as possible. I also was running out of ideas with Emilie's and Nick's relationship and where it was going to head. Sorry if I disappointed anyone! :). Anyway, I also have another issue that arises in this chapter that I think needs to be brought out to the public. It's the issue about females in pop videos, and I hope, someday I'll be able to turn on MuchMusic or MTV ;), and see a plus size model in a music video. I think the females in their videos are really beautiful and pretty, but I wish they could have someone in their videos who is slightly more plus size. That would be so wonderful. I know some people find people who are heavier disgusting, but I am a little heavier then average, but I have a pretty face. Emilie has a lot of me in her, and I do have some of the self-conscious issues that she faces within the storyline. I sometimes think I'm ugly and then sometimes, I think I'm a great person. I have struggled with my shyness and self-consciousness for a longtime, and it depresses me. I also have realized though, that everyone goes through it. At times, I thought I was the only one. My cousin Gloriana goes through it. She is so beautiful, but she sometimes thinks she's not attractive at all. I think the best thing to do is to be happy with yourself and realize you are special. Sometimes, I know, it's hard to do, but our world keeps on spinning and we can't always worry about our appearance. Appearance only goes too far in life, and then our true inner colours outweigh it in a real hurry. Like I said before, there has been speculation over whether the Backstreet Boys have read my story, but guys if you are reading my story, please consider what I said. I am speaking to you straight from my heart and I know many fans would love to see a plus size model in your videos. There are many beautiful ones out there. I'd better go! Have a beautiful Christmas everyone, and by the way, I am beginning Chapter Nine tomorrow ;)! Good night.* Next: Chapter 9 -FanFics -Home