ASK Mr. Helpsalot

D DOG

my advice...
Well, First of all I suggest that you get a plumber over there to fix your "pody". Next, instead of just standing there, you might want to go outside behind a bush, or ask a friend if he can go over to his house to use the bathroom. I'm sure your mom doesn't like to clean up after you every time you have to go.

-MR. Helpsalot-

I HAVE THIS PROBLEM OK, YOU SEE I HAVE A CRUSH ON THIS GUY BUT I DONT THINK HE NOTICES ME, HOW CAN I GET HIM TO ASK ME OUT??

DCS

my advice...
Well, I think a good way to get a guy to notice you, or to start to like you is to talk to them. When your around him, just start a conversation and joke around with him. Guys like layed back girls. The other option is to just tell him how you feel. It's the hardest solution to do, but it also might be the best one. If you can be honest and tell him how much you like him, you have a better chance that he'll start to like you too.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

I like this guy at school and he seems to like me. He is always flirting w/ me, putting his arms around me, kissing me on the cheek (kinda) and always around me or looking at me! the thing is, he tells everyone that he doesn't like me that way! But we talked from 10:30 at night tell 2:30 in the morning, I had to get off the phone cuz I was tired but he still wanted to talk to me, Whats the deal??? Oh yeah, My friends tell me that he flirts w/ everyone like that, but I never see it!

Love sick!

my advice...
Welp, if you really like this guy, you should defiantly tell him that you like him... but keep an open mind. If your friends are right, and he flirts with everyone the way you described, he might not give you a good relationship if anything comes of you two. As for him saying that "he doesn't like you in that way" ... that doesn't mean that he doesn't like you. He just might be afraid to let you know that he likes you. A lot of times, when someone likes another, they don't want to say that they like them unless they know that he or she likes them (if you understood what I just said). You guys talked on the phone for like four hours. That must mean that you have a lot in common to have something to talk about for that amount of time. Just let him know what your feeling, or tell your friends to tell him, or drop hints that you like him. It sounds to me like he likes you, but is afraid to admit it.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

I like this guy and I think he likes me. He flirts shamelessly with me and only one other person, no one else, at least i've never seen it. the only reason he flirts with this other girl is because they are really good friends and she starts it. Ill just be at my locker and he'll come over and grab my butt, it doesn't bother me at all but he tells me that he doesn't like me in that way. I wrote to you before but you said something about him flirting with other people but he doesn't. Now, my question is, why does he do this, and does he like me and just not wanna tell me or anyone else? Oh ya, we were at the school dance and when the songs were over, he wouldn't let go of me, his head was on my sholder the whole time and his hands in my back pockets or my butt. When someone asked him to fast dance (freak or dirty dance, whatever) he wouldn't, then he grabed me and started with me, whats the deal???

Heather C.

my advice...

Well, it seems this guy is all over you. I don't see how he doesn't like you judging by the way he acts when around you. He doesn't sound like a shy guy either, so I don't know a reason why he'd say that he doesn't like you. He might be afraid of a relationship. If he's one of your good friends, he might also be worried about loosing your friendship if you two ever split up. Another reason might be that he's one of those guys that wants you to make the first move. Still, the best advice I can think to give you is to talk with him about it. Talking fixes most problems ... and at least you'll get some answers. If you find out that he really doesn't like you, it's better then wondering if he does or doesn't. I've been down that road before, and it's not a fun road to be down. So just call him up and say that you're confused about some things ... and tell him how you feel. Or if you feel like you'd be nervious talking to him in person, or on the phone ... have a friend talk to him for you. I'm sure that he'll be honest with you.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Mr. Helpsalot, I've been having this problem for a while. This girl I know and used to be friends with has been having a lot of problems with guys lately. Well, actually she is the problem. Last year she was going out with a kid I know,infact she went out with him for over a year. During this time period she didn't really like him and secretly, you could say, liked my best friend. but that was just last year. This year she dumped that guy she was going out with and started macking on a freshman, when one of her friends like him.(Making out and telling him they would go out) Of course she was doing this behind her friends back. She even had the nerve to tell her friend that she thought that they kid liked her. Then one night at Band she started kissing another guy right infront of the poor kid. So now she was going out with this other kid. But also in the time that she was going out with this new kid she liked two other freshman and the boy she went out with for a year and not to mention the kid she was going out with. She was also telling one of these freshman that he should still like her even though he had a boyfriend. What should I do? One of these boys is an ex and I'm still friends with him and don't want to see him hurt. I was having personal problems and told him we should put things on hold for a while and he started liking her. I don't really care because I'm not sure I like him, but I care if her and the others are hurt by this evil girl.
help.

E.R.

my advice...

Boy oh Boy, this is quite a situation! It took me a few minutes to understand what was happening, but I think I do now, and I can kind of relate too. I'm in the middle of something right now where I really like this girl, and she has a boyfriend, but she says that she likes me too. I don't know what to do about that, but enough about me, I'll try and help you the best that I can. First off, it is obvious to me that this girl doesn't care much about the people she gets involved with. She might not even be going out with these people because she likes them, but because she wants a boyfriend, or because their "hot". You don't get involved with someone, then fool around with three other guys! It's just not right. It's unfair to her boyfriend and all of the other guys! And then she says that she likes this freshmen, and makes out with another guy right in front of his face? That's one of the meanest things you can do! As for your Ex, that you don't want to get hurt ... I think that you should just talk to him about all these people she's involved with, and explain to him how she probably doesn't care about any of these boys. She has a long history of breaking guys hearts, and if you friend gets involved in this situation, I fear his heart will as well end up breaking. The guy that the girl told to still like even though she has a boyfriend. I know how he feels, and it's not an easy thing. He probably figures that if he just waits long enough, she will break up with her boyfriend, and she will go out with him. Waiting is hard, and probably not the best thing to do. He needs to go up to her and say that he really likes her, but doesn't like all the other guys she's involved with. However, for this guy, I feel that best thing for him to do is to get out of this whole mess. That's the advice I'd give to all the guys that want to have a relationship with her. Get far, far far away. She's just fooling around with these people, she doesn't want to have a relationship with any of them. So just tell you're ex all of this. She's not good for him, and he probably deserves better.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

I came to you before about my problems, you helped me a lot, i hope that you will help me again! Thank you by the way! OK, i am going out with Jeremy still....the one guy i was talkin about before, not that you remember. But anyway...ok, i am going out with him, we are having lots of probs. There is this one guy that is my friend that i have, name, we will say that his name is super man. OK, well anyway, he asked out this girl but she turned him down. He was all sad about that for a while. Ok, well today he came to class all sad and I asked him what was wrong,then he said..."i cant have the girl that i want." I was all" ok, who is she?" thinkin that it was that ine girl. Well turns out that he likes me. I am going out with his friend. I feel so bad, we have been buds sense like dipers. He wants me...i know how it feels to want someone that bad....but i am taken. I kinda like him, but i like my man too. There are 2 other guys that want me to. they are all over me, always talkin about me. What shoudl i do? PLease HELP!

Me

My Advice...

Welp - If you like the boyfriend you have right now, Jeremy, then there is no reason you should change things. DON'T dump Jeremy and go out with superman just because you feel bad for him. That's the last thing you should do. And if you and superman have been friends for this long, keep in mind that relationships don't last forever, and when you two break up, you wouldn't be as good of friends anymore. It might effect your good friendship. It would also make Jeremy get mad at Superman if he's his friend, that might turn to a nightmere. But the bottom line is, if you like Jeremy more, don't make any changes

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Well, you see Mr. Helpsalot, I have a severe medical condition in which it is only physically possible for me to belch at the exact same time as I let a hiccup. I have a reversed valve in my throat. Since I must let the air out somehow, I fart constantly. If you don't take this seriously, I will be severly upset. Anyway, I have this problem. I would like to know how I can "relive" myself without making everyon around me pay.

Bendrick

My Advice...

Well now Bendrik - I have to say that this is not a new thing to me - in fact, a friend I have at school is suffering from the same thing you seem to be. Anyways, I think that the best thing to do so that you don't make the people around you pay, is to go to the doctor and get him to write a note to the office saying that anytime you need to relieve yourself, the teacher has to let you out into the hall to do it. This solution seems like a good answer does it not? Another option I rendered would be to reach in your throat with a pair of pliers or something, and take that reversed valve, and make it so that it is not reversed. That means flipping it yes. I'm sure you can handle that. So, good luck

-Mr. Helpsalot-

I have a crush on this girl. we have the same interests but i really don't know if she likes me. how do i tell her, or get a reply without seeming too obvious?

Just give me an idea. we both like the same music, and stuff, but we hang out with different crowds. what do i do?

thanks

sd

My Advice...

It doesn't matter all that much that you belong to different crowds, if you have some of the same things in common with her, its all that really matters. But if you want to tell her, there are some things that you can do. You can just go up to her and tell her. You can say that you have been admiring her for a while, and just though that she should know. You could have a friend drop hints to her that you like her, and see how she reacts. Another thing that you could do is write her a note or E-Mail. Explaining to her how you feel. With the written word, you can make sure you say exactly what you want to say. You could also call her on the phone, but that might scare her if she never gave you her number, and you don't want that. But I don't see how you are going to be able to tell her without seeming too obivious ... the one with your friend dropping the hints might be your best bet then. Good Luck!!

-Mr. Helpsalot-

MY BOYFRIEND MOVED TO VA LIKE 3 MONTHS AGO BUT HE IS COMING BACK NEXT MONTH.I KNOW HE LOVES ME BECAUSE HE ALWAYS TELLS ME AND I TRUST HIM IM JUST WORRIED HE IS GONNA CHEAT ON ME WHICH I HAVE ASKED HIM TO TELL ME IF HE DID AND HE SAID HE WOULD.WHAT DO YOU THINK?

J.K.L

My Advice...

well - all good relationships are based on trust, and if he hasn't done anything in the past to hurt the trust you have for him, there is no reason not to trust him now. If he loves you, he won't cheat on you ... and if he says he hasn't, I think you owe it to him to beleive what he says.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

ok sir helpsalot, as long as ur listening, i guess i can put my full faith in u... ok, here goes, no more beating around the bush for me, no more stalling, im sure uve delt with a ton of problems like mine so, im just gonna come right out and say it, one, two, three, here i g- OOPS sorry, gotta little ahead of myself there, o-ke-do-ke, here goes... first let me tell you a little bit about my self, (what u heard about me on austin powers was simply untrue, i have had a 'groovy' new identity for quite some time now. 'hopping' isnt it??' well, anyways, i grew up in ohio, where i hunted whales for a living in the nearby ocean (im sure uve been there on numerous occasions and just not noticed). and anyways, my mother was a stunning hillbillie from alaska, while my father raked in the Cashe being an eggplant trainer/consultant. i had a pretty standard childhood really. in the winter we would race home made cheese-sleds, and in the summer we made grass underwear. when i was a bad he/she my parents would beet me with wet noodles, pretty ordinary really-anyways back to my problem...rrrIIIghtt...gotta little ahead of myself again huh?? well, here's my problem...i still happen to be whale hunting in that ocean in ohio i was telling u about, but lately the whales have been...oh dare i say it...SCARCE!! i cant seem to catch ONE wha! le...buisness used to be soooo much better. since lately i have had no source of income, i have resorted to living peacefully in a box off crestline avenue. oh not to worry, i made sure to buy the BEST kind of cardboard, i swear it doesnt let hardly and wind in htrough the cracks, really...rrrIIIghtt...anyways back to my problem... i was hopping you would be able to reccomend some sort of whale-fishing techniques...(get it?? WHALE-fishhing??) or perhapps some sort of bait, or new fangled lasso that i havent tried yet...your help with my problem would be most appreciated...dont worry, even though i live in a box im still 'with it' im 'hip', 'cool' thank u

dr.evil

My Advice...

If I were you, I'd get a big net, and inside the net, line it with aluminum foil, because whales love shiny things don't you know. You'll catch those sons of other whales rather quickly that way, I'll give you my guarantee! Wicked.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Hi, I'm 16 years old and I want to do what I want to do but my parents are still treating me like a kid. Even when I go out with my girl-friend/boy-friend they still make me be home at 11:00!

This makes me look like a dork!

What can I do to get my parents to leave me alone?

Confused and kinda in love.

The Squid

My Advice...

Well, your situation is eerily familiar to my own. I am in a way going through the same thing. I have found that there isn't much that you can do however, in terms of getting your parents to see things your way. For a start, you could talk to your parents, and find out why they have their rules set the way that they do. For example, my parents want me home too around the same time you have to be home. Their reason is that they stay up until I get home and they have work and such in the morning, and have to get up early. I have been unable to create a plan where both sides are happy, but if you find out why your parents set the rules, you may be able to find a way that both you and your parents are happy. It is good just to tell them how you feel, and reasons why you should be able to stay out later, and why they should trust you. But should you defy your parents and stay out late and sneak around and such? I would personally say that that isn't the best idea. Perhaps if you stick to their curfew, they may start to trust you more and extent it. But If worse comes to worse, and you are really intent on staying out late as not to appear restricted or dorky, staying out later than you should may be your only option... at the expense of your parent's trust and being put on bad terms with them. But I'm sure that if you just talk to your friends, and 'boy/girl friend' about it, they'll understand. You can make your parents seem to be the bad guys, and the unreasonable ones as to take some of the heat off of you. These are just some of my ideas, let me know how it goes.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

I have a boyfriend his name is Maurice but im very shy i don't know how to act and its embarrising when his friends are around cause they always say how im so shy and i dont even do anything with Maurice please help me.

bce

My Advice...

The shyness that you feel with Maurice right now is very common. As you get to know him more and more, you will find yourself opening up. As time goes by you will truly act like yourself around him. I've found that the harder you try not to be shy around someone, or a group of people, the more shy you come of as. This is because you are so concerned with being open and fun with him or his friends, you aren't being yourself. I think that the more time you spend with Maurice and his friends, the more comfortable you will be with them. Soon you will be able to show your true self, and everyone will forget about how shy you used to be. Don't rush things though. Things will come when they come. This phase you are going through is simply a typical phase in a relationship. Let me know how things turn out.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Dear Mr. Helpsalot:

my boyfriend dumped me for th second time, and i really thought he loved me because he wrote me the cutest love letter. but now im dumped again and i feel like crap. what mean things can i say to him at school?

Amy

My Advice...

I'm sorry that your boyfriend dumped you. I guess it just wasn't meant to be, especially since it was the second time you two have broken up. Sometimes guys can be manipulative, and say things that they don't mean just to get on better grounds with the girl they like. This guy doesn't deserve you, so don't give it a second thought. I don't recommend saying anything mean to him, maybe you two can be friends, don't destroy any possibility of that occurring. But if you want to tell him the truth, he is manipulative and selfish, unconcerned with your feelings and selfishly concerned with his.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Dear Mr. Helpsalot:

It's been going on for about 3-4 weeks and he is almost always talking or flirting with this other girl and even when I'm there! And the sad part is he doesn't even talk to me or even pay attention to me really but to him it seems he thinks I don't care. I'm a very jealous person in this category but I intend not to show it. what do you think I should do? Break up with him?

Rosezynnia

My Advice...

I think that the first step is for you to talk with him about it. Tell him that you don't like the way he acts with this other girl, and that you wish that he would pay more attention to you. If he says something like "I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way, I'll try to pay more attention to you ..." etc, then give him another chance. If he says something like "I don't know what you’re talking about, I pay enough attention to you, you are just being stupid ..." etc, then you should probably end things. If he doesn't respect the way that you feel, then he shouldn't be with you.

-Mr. Helpsalot-

Dear Mr. Helpsalot:

I,m looking to set up a buisness plan. I,m in Spain on my own and my finances are limited, therfore i do not have the money to pay a lawyer to help with a buisness plan. I wonder if you could help me please

James

My Advice...

My knowledge of business plans are limited, however I do know that there are ways to get step by step instructions on how to create them without having to hire a lawyer. The most effective and professional way is probably to use specialized software. I know one in particular. It is called business plan pro 2003. It runs at about $100. If this is too expensive for you, there are sites that give you information on how to write one, including tips, sample plans, and outlines. I'll give you a few of them:

http://www.sba.gov/starting/indexbusplans.html
http://www.bplans.com/dp/
http://www.ntia.doc.gov/opadhome/mtdpweb/busplano.htm
http://www.businessplans.org/

-Mr. Helpsalot-