What Sara and I talked about on Valentine’s Day

@2001 by Kayla Rigney

I was wrapped up like a snausage and getting ready to go outside and shovel the driveway yet again, when the phone rang. It was Sara! Evidently, the Mengeles were out of the house performing community service or war crimes; and they’d left her alone with long distance access.

I stood in the middle of my den alternately watching the snow fall and Babylon 5 without sound, while Sara told me about her life. Or rather the men in her life. As I was still wrapped up like a snausage, it was easier to just listen.

She babbled about Alfonso the illegal pot smoking alien. She babbled about Albino Man.

"And I’m seeing a new one," she announced. "But it’s just sex, because he’s a racist."

"Sara, you can’t have sex with a racist!"

"Oh, yes I can," Sara replied. "And it’s good."

Then, her brain switched gears and she complimented me on the Deep Space Nine reviews I’d written for Amazon.com.

"Thanks, Sara, " I replied, through layers of outerwear. (I was still reeling from the whole racist thing.) "That means a lot to me."

"You’re welcome," she said. "Of course, I like Deep Space Nine. Especially Quark’s mother."

"Ishka."

"Bless you! Do you have the flu?" Sara didn’t wait for an answer. She moved on to Characters We'd Like to Date on Star Trek. Actually, it was character's she’d like to date on Star Trek as she wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. She started with Vir on B5 and it went downhill from there.

When she finally paused to cough, I pointed out that in real life, the only character who'd ask her out would be Mr. Garabaldi. She replied, cheerfully, that she'd date him, too. Frankly, the conversation would have been more to the point had it been Characters Sara Wouldn’t Date on Star Trek.

Vir

Sisko before he went to the Prophets. ("I wouldn't date him now. I'm not going into that hole for anything!")

The Holodoc

Data

Picard

Riker (during his baby face period)

Geordie

"The security guy on B5 but only if he'd keep his mouth shut and look pretty."

Garak (I don't know why. Strangely, she refused to elaborate on that one.)

Most of the Ferengi

Chief

"Dax when she was that blond guy on the planet that doesn't exist in the future any more."

Widdle Haiwy Kim

Marcus

Bill Mummy as either Lenir or that guy who died on Deep Space Nine.

Oh, yeah. And Mr. Garabaldi.

(There may have been more but she talks really fast.)

None, apparently.

"And who would you date?" Sara asked.

"Umm," I said. "Umm."

"You’re still upset about the racist thing, aren’t you?"

"Kind of," I replied.

"Well, I’m not going to lie to you," Sara replied. "We’ve been friends far too long for that."

"True," I said.

By now, the snow was nearly a foot deep, so I grabbed the hands free phone and made Sara talk to me while I shoveled the sidewalk.

"I can’t imagine shoveling snow," Sara said, airily. "And when are you going to write me another Pascal fic?"

"Soon, hon," I replied. "Soon."

"Don’t be upset about the racist, Kay-Kat."

I cringed and tried not to think about Aktion T-4. "I’m trying not to be," I said. But I was.

"It’s just that everything I do lately is questioned," Sara said, slowly and softly. "And it’s hard for me."

"I know," I replied. And what’s more, God help me, I understood.

Somewhere deep, deep inside, the Words said: And that’s the way it is…

In the end, we got two feet of snow. It wasn’t enough. It couldn’t even begin to cover Sara’s blind quest for approval.

"It’s just the sex, Kayla."

Just the sex.

"I swear."