Ain't Love Grand?

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. But I can dream, can't I?

Joxer trudged slowly away from Xena and Gabrielle. He sighed, a wave of depression flowing over him as he thought of the blond bard. He knew he wasn't the greatest catch, he had no illusions about that. But why had she felt the need to put him down so brutally?

He left the town and it's bad memories, trying to control his emotions. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he felt something inside him die a little. Seeking escape, he turned off the road onto a little-used side path, Gabrielle's cruel words still ringing in his ears.

Joxer straightened his armor, brushing off stray bits of dust. He frowned at a dent, but decided it wasn't really all that noticeable. He took a deep breath. This is it -- today is the day when I finally declare my heart to the woman I love.

He picked up a package that contained a pot of expensive India ink and a half-dozen fine scrolls. It had taken him months to scrounge together enough to buy this present, but he knew Gabby would just love it! It would be worth every dinar. He gathered himself and strode...well, stumbled really...out of the room.

He gazed in adoration across the market, where she stood next to Xena. Closing his eyes and whispering a prayer to Aphrodite for luck, he started toward her.

Gabrielle looked up at her name, groaning when she saw a beaming Joxer headed in her direction. What does he want now? She looked around, trying to see if she could get away without having to confront the bumbling man. "Xena!" she hissed. "I need a distraction, quick!"

Xena looked at her friend and rolled her eyes. "You can't hide from him forever. Just see what he wants, and maybe you'll get away faster."

Gabrielle glared. "Some friend you are! Why don't you try having him following you a little puppy, begging for attention? And why can't he get over this thing he has for me already!?"

"You know, he's not as bad as all that. So he's got a crush on you; I think it's kind of...cute. Besides, he's harmless. And if it really upsets you that much, just let him know you're not interested."

"Oh, sure, like it's--"

"Gabby! I've been looking around town for you. I, um, I have something for you." Joxer sheepishly thrust a package in her direction.

Gabrielle stared at the bundle for a moment, then opened her mouth to offer an explanation on why she couldn't accept it. Before she could say a word, though, something made Joxer crash forward into her, knocking them both to the ground.

When she finally managed to get away from the clanking man who was still struggling upright, she noticed a damp sensation on her chest. Looking down, she saw the dark stain spreading across her clothes and skin. Her temper flared suddenly, and she lashed out at the cause of her misfortune.

Joxer had just reached the women and offered the gift to his beloved when someone jostled him hard from behind. Unable to stop himself, he fell forward onto Gabrielle and twisted, trying to shield her from the fall. With a groan, he felt something inside the package that was pressed between them break.

When the two had untangled themselves, Joxer looked up in dismay to see that the expensive ink had leaked through the cloths of the bundle and was now slowly dripping down Gabrielle's torso. Trying to stutter out an apology, he blanched at the torrent of words that spewed forth from her mouth.

"You idiot! What kind of clumsy jerk are you! You just ruined one of my best outfits. And this stuff will stay on my skin for weeks! Only a moron would have done something this stupid! What in Hades were you thinking?" She paused, panting heavily, angry eyes boring through him.

"I'm...I'm...I d...d...didn't mean to...it was an accident! I never--"

"Yeah, I know! You didn't mean to. You never mean to, but you always do! When will you just give up and accept the fact that you're a loser!" She stood, hands on hips, face wild as she ranted. Xena stood by in shock, not believing this could actually be her peace-loving friend raving like this.

Joxer whispered wretchedly, "But...I love you, Gabby..." he trailed off when she sneered at him.

"You love me? Oh, that's a laugh. I've had it up to here with this silly little crush of yours. Get over it! I don't want you. I never will want you. Why in Tartarus would I saddle myself with the likes of you? I could find better on the street corner. So would you quit with the 'love' bit already? It is not going to happen!" Turning her back on him, she dismissed his very existence as beneath her notice.

Stunned, Joxer stared at her back. "But I...I..." he stopped, then turned sadly away.

Maybe she's right. Maybe I am worthless. No one could ever want me. Joxer sat beside a small stream, weeping raggedly.

Ares was sick of this petty little squabble. "Enough!" he roared, and the supplicants fell silent. He glared around his temple. Pointing at a trembling priest, he snarled, "You! Fix this!" Then he left in a flash of light.

Reappearing in his own Temple on Olympus, Ares rubbed his forehead tiredly. Why can't those mortals figure out their own problems? Then his features softened. Of course, they're not all bad. He thought of his most dedicated follower. Joxer never nags me about inconsequential things. He so... Ares sighed. I still can't believe I fell in love with him. But he's just so...endearing. How could anyone not love him? If only he'd feel the same way about me.

Ares concentrated, and a small vial filled with pink fluid appeared in his hand. Gazing intently at the bottle he'd managed to wheedle away from Aphrodite a while back, he considered. Finally, he nodded sharply and, clutching the vial, went in search of the man he wanted.

Ares looked around the small clearing, confused. Wasn't he with Xena and Gabrielle yesterday? What happened? He started as he heard a soft snuffling noise. Moving toward it silently, he was shocked to see his Joxer, eyes red and swollen, crying as if he had just lost his only love. Wait a minute... Disturbed, he resolved to find out what had happened to tear his love apart like this.

Xena was speechless. What in Tartarus just happened here? She watched Joxer's figure as it slowly disappeared down the road, then turned toward Gabrielle. Seeing the rigid stance and crossed arms, she thought it prudent to say nothing...for the moment. She then looked at the lonely, stained bundle lying forgotten on the ground.

Moving to it, she knelt and opened it carefully, taking pains so that the ink wouldn’t get on her. What she found rocked her. "Gabrielle...don't you want to know what he was trying to give you?"

Gabrielle whirled. "I'd think it was fairly obvious--I'm only wearing it! He probably found some cheap ink and thought I might be grateful for it. Like I'd use the stuff they have around here! It's less than useless."

Xena shook her head sadly. Using a relatively clean cloth, she picked up a fragment of the broken pot and handed it silently to Gabrielle. As she did, the bundle opened the rest of the way to spill out the scrolls, now stained beyond use.

Gabrielle gaped at the incriminating piece of clay, on which was engrave in tiny script the word 'India'. She looked guiltily at the scrolls, noticing for the first time their fine quality. Her eyes darted back and forth from the clay piece to the scrolls. She flushed.

"He must have spent a great deal on these. I'm sure it took him quite a while to get together enough to do so," Xena said softly. She looked pointedly at her friend.

Gabrielle immediately became defensive. "Well, it's not like I asked him to! What? You want me to go after him? I suppose I should apologize for finally telling him how I really felt? I don't think so!" She stomped off in a huff, muttering under her breath.

Xena watched her go, her eyes filling. Gods, Joxer. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. Maybe it's for the best, though. Someone like you deserves a whole lot better than she could ever give.

Ares seethed as the scene unfolded. Having picked up the gist of what had happened, he fluctuated between concern for Joxer, and burning hatred for the cause of his misery. That...tramp! How could she have done that to someone so gentle, so innocent? She couldn't have hurt him more if she ripped his heart out and stomped it flat. Which, in a sense, she did do!

He fingered the vial he still clutched. He thought wistfully of what it would have been like to have Joxer love him unconditionally as the potion was capable of doing. Then he shrugged. It would be worth it. Gabrielle would never hurt anyone else like she had the sweet man who was even now crying in misery over her betrayal.

Gabrielle fumed. Who does she think she is! Judging me like that! What kind of friend turns against you when you need them most? Ignoring her own hypocrisy at that thought, she walked briskly into the market. Suddenly, she felt a tingling down her back. Shivering, she blinked. Then she stared. There in front of her was the most...amazing man she'd ever seen. Turning to a woman nearby, she asked frantically, "Who is that?" and pointed.

Helene stared in amazement at the wild looking blond who had accosted her. Following the direction of the finger, she wrinkled her nose in distaste. Someone really should get that garbage out of the streets! Even from here, she could smell his unwashed body, and his filthy appearance almost made her physically ill. Turning back to the (obviously) crazy woman, she replied, "That's Larnus. He used to work for some foreign king, but now he just lives off the streets here. It's pitiful!" Her lip curled.

Gabrielle continued to stare hungrily at the man. He's so...perfect! I have to have him! She had enough presence of mind to ask distractedly, "A king? He must have been important. What did he do?"

Helene snorted. "He was a eunuch." With that, she turned and left.

Gabrielle drifted over to her destiny.

Ares nodded in satisfaction, laughing bitterly. That should do it! Turning his mind back to Joxer, he hurried away, hoping to be able to comfort him somehow.

Joxer wiped at his eyes, sniffling. This is not doing you any good! Just...get over it. He stared dejectedly at his rippling reflection. Reaching out, he slapped the water, obliterating the sad face he saw there. Getting to his feet, he turned, then froze.

Ares watched as Joxer turned to face him. Once he had been noticed, he moved quietly to Joxer's side.

Joxer stared perplexed at his God. What--? Why is he here? Ashamed to have been caught bawling like a baby by the God of War, he ducked his head miserably, awaiting more taunts. Instead, a finger gently pressed against the bottom of his chin, tilting his head back up.

"It's OK to cry when you've been hurt, you know." Ares spoke softly so he wouldn't spook the man.

Joxer crumbled. Sinking to the ground, he felt himself caught in a warm embrace, surrounded and safe. He let go of his anger, hurt, and resentment, pounding against the firm chest in frustration as he cried out his heart.

Ares rocked Joxer gently, stroking his hair and ignoring the flailing fists. Finally, the man stilled, his tormented sounds fading away. Ares looked down and saw he had fallen into an exhausted slumber. He smiled a bit, then moved them with a flash to his Temple.

Joxer woke in a soft bed, surrounded by smooth sheets and pillows. Confused, he looked around the chamber. What--? Where am I? Is this a dream? A memory of Ares soothing him floated through his head, and decided this was indeed a dream. He yelped as something pinched his thigh.

Ares looked at the mortal in amusement. "This is no dream, little one. I brought you here to...heal."

Joxer stared at the large form beside him. In disbelief, he shook his head. "Why...why would you care about me?"

Ares flushed. Hedging, he said, "You're one of my followers. Of course I care!" Seeing the crestfallen expression on the man's face, he tenderly stroked a bare shoulder. "I've...always cared about you."

At the unexpected touch, Joxer sat up. He looked at his naked body, and hastily pulled a sheet over him. "I, uh, I...what do you want from me?" His eyes darted around the room, not meeting Ares' gaze.

Deciding that it was about time to confess, Ares moved in closer. "Joxer. Look at me." When the man complied, he went on, "I...I love you, Joxer. I have for years now."

Stricken, Joxer reared back. Rolling onto his stomach, he gritted out wretchedly, "You don't love me. No one does, not really." He curled up in a ball, as if trying to avoid a blow.

Distressed, Ares reached out to stroke the smooth line of his pale back. "Joxer, listen to me. I'm a god. Why would I need to lie to you? I could just take you if that's what I wanted. But I want more than your body...I want you heart, you love as well."

Joxer turned to peer at him in amazement. "Why...why would you want me? I'm...I'm nobody."

Ares pulled him close. "No! Don't ever say that! You're the most wonderful man I've ever met, and I've been around a long time. You...you care. About others, about how they feel. You're...you're the one I'd want to spend the rest of my existence with." He swallowed at this all out confession.

Joxer looked him in the eyes. He gasped at what he saw there. Me. he wants me! Really! Nobody has ever wanted me before. Timidly, he leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss against Ares' lips.

Ares groaned and held him tight, deepening the kiss until it seemed like they would devour each other. He pulled away reluctantly, whispering, "Please, Joxer. Are you sure? Because I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go once I have you."

Joxer looked at him soberly. I never felt even half of this for Gabrielle. Did I truly love her? It seems so...shallow now. Maybe...maybe I just anted someone to care for me the way I've always dreamed. Falling into those dark eyes, he saw his future, being loved and cherished for as long as he lived. "I'm sure."

Ares laughed breathlessly in relief. "Gods, I'm so glad!" With a thought, his own clothes vanished, leaving them skin to skin. He froze when he felt the slim body tense. He jerked back in concern. "Joxer? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?"

Joxer blushed deeply. "Um, it's just that, I've, um, never...you know, done...this before."

"You've never been with a male?" Are smiled at the thought of being the first male to ever love this precious man.

Joxer turned an even brighter shade of red. "Well, no, but...I meant...never, ever..."

Ares was stunned. A virgin? He's a virgin? He's never slept with a man...or a woman. Gods! His arousal grew as he pictured himself introducing Joxer to the many and various ways he knew of making love. He grinned. "Don't worry, I'll teach you."

Joxer gasped as a hand found one of his nipples and tweaked it gently. The action was repeated on the other, rubbing them both to hard little nubs. The hand trailed down his belly, dipping briefly into the tiny indentation there. He arched up as a warm, wet tongue began to follow the hand's path.

The hand reached his by now fully hard cock, wrapping gently around it. He felt warm breaths against his skin that moved southerly. He squirmed, then shouted out as the tongue descended onto the head of his cock, swirling around it before sucking it into a hot mouth.

Ares groaned at the intimate taste of his lover, rubbing his own erection against a lightly furred leg. Wet trails of his own fluid were left behind to dry on the soft skin. He opened his throat, and swallowed Joxer whole.

Joxer closed his eyes and thrust into the tight warmth, wiggling against the hands that had reached under his ass to pull him close. Lost in the sensation, he almost missed it when a finger slowly slid inside him...there. He shouted.

Not hearing any pain in the sound, Ares continued to work the slick finger around, twisting it to brush against the gland inside him. His finger was gripped tightly, the quivering sheath reluctant to let go. The thought of his cock inside that tightness nearly made Ares cum, so he quickly added more oil and pressed another finger home. Spreading them apart, he worked to stretch his lover, not wanting him to experience any unnecessary pain.

Joxer rocked down against the fingers, wanting more. He tried to convey this need, and felt another finger enter him. He moaned, throwing his head back. He hardly knew whether to thrust up into the mouth, or down onto the maddening fingers. He alternated, fucking himself in slow, rolling motions. The total loss of stimulation shocked him, and he opened his eyes to plead helplessly.

Ares stared hungrily at the wanton feast splayed out under him. With a groan, he slicked up his cock and moved forward. Spreading Joxer’s legs, he lifted his ass into his lap. He pressed his cock home, moving smoothly into the loosened channel.

Joxer shook as he was penetrated. Wrapping his legs around Ares' waist, he pushed his hips up experimentally. The sensation made him gasp. Then Ares began to move inside him, and his mind exploded.

Ares couldn't hold back any longer, and thrust frantically into the sheath that gripped him, muscles milking his cock. He reached to pull Joxer up to sit in his lap, impaled on him. He lifted the man by his hips, then plunged him back down.

This new position drove the cock inside him against that spot with every advance. He leaned his face toward Ares, engaging him in a passionate kiss. A hand grasped his own dripping cock, and he bucked. It was too much. He came, sticky ribbons pumping out to coat their chests, mingling with the sweat that had formed there. The contractions of his ass made the cock inside him feel enormous.

Ares shouted when the muscles began to quiver spasmodically around his cock. He plunged in one last time, and came. His seed flowed deep inside his lover, becoming a part of him. Still connected, the two changed position to lay on their sides.

Ares held Joxer close as their breathing slowed. Feeling the utter relaxation in the other's body, Ares smiled. "Goodnight, my love."

Joxer yawned. Sleepily, he replied, "Goodnight, Ares."

Ares cleaned them up, putting out the lights in the room as he held tight to the man he loved. Before he lost himself to sleep, he heard a soft voice whisper in his ear, "I think I love you." They both drifted off, content at having found their heart's desire.

Finit

Go to sequel: Love and War

So??? Let me know what you think!