Well, that worked, didn't it? He's certainly not saying anything now! Joxer walked over to Ares and waved a hand in front of his face. No response. He placed a finger under Ares' jaw and shut his mouth with a 'click'. Sarcastically, he asked, "Hello? Anybody home?" Slowly, Ares' eyes came into focus.

Ares vaguely heard a voice speaking to him, but paid no attention to it, instead turning a semi-glazed look on his husband and resting his eyes on the firm stomach revealed by Joxer's open vest. Slowly, he reached a hand out to caress the warm skin. There. Our...our baby would grow...there. Inside him. Inside...Ooohhh. Overwhelmed, he sat in shock until he felt a hand on his face, then looked up.

Joxer smiled gently at the tenderness with which Ares touched his belly. Well, I think that means he's open to the idea. He reached out and tilted Ares' face up. The warmth displayed in those dark eyed melted him, and he bent to kiss the tip of his love's nose. Pulling back, he whispered, "Hey, you OK? You didn't break anything, did you? That would be bad. I need your parts in working order to accomplish this, you know. Well, maybe not all of them, but the rest is certainly a bonus!" He chuckled softly.

Ares gazed at the beloved face just inches away from his own. He broke into a delighted grin and, laughing, captured Joxer in a loving embrace. He settled the other god in his lap, and the two cuddled for a moment, exchanging lengthy kisses.

Breathless, Joxer teased, "Does that mean 'yes let's have a baby' or 'better distract him so he forgets all about it'?"

"I would love to have a baby with you," Ares answered seriously. "I'm...I can't believe you actually want to...I mean, that you'd do that for me."

"It's for me too, you know. We've been married a few years, and I want to have a family with you. I...I never had one before...not really."

At the bitter look on his husband's face, Ares hugged him close. "As long as I'm around, you'll always have a family. And if you want to...expand it, then we will."

Joxer's features softened with love. "Thank you, mine. I...hoped you'd want to."

"Why wouldn't I? Our baby? Can you imagine that?"

Joxer snickered delightedly. "Maybe this will shake a few deities up. They've become much too...boring. You'd think our marriage would have done it, but they pretty much took that in a stride."

Ares frowned thoughtfully. "That was rather strange. It was like they knew. Who could have said anything? No one knew we were together. I mean Cupid found out I was in love with you that day we got together. It happened right after I...blasted him." Ares still felt a guilty about that. "But he couldn't have known anything else."

Joxer blinked. "He...knew? Then? But...he came to me after that. That's when he found out I was in love with you. But all he did was say how upset you were and that I should talk to you since I was your friend. He didn't say anything about..." he trailed off.

"He knew we were both...and he sent you to me..." Ares narrowed his eyes as it hit him. "That sneaking, conniving little--!"

Joxer pressed a finger against Ares' lips. "Hush! That's my stepson you're talking about! Besides, if it weren't for him, the Fates only know how long it might have taken us to get together...if ever!" He considered for a minute. "Actually, we should probably thank him...now that we've actually figured it out! Maybe get him a gift or something."

"Mmmm. I know...let's give him a baby brother or sister to play with!" He leered at his husband, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Joxer rubbed his body against Ares'. "Ooohhh, good idea. But maybe we should, you know, practice a bit before...getting down to it. Just to make sure we have it right." He licked his lips, the leaned in to press them against his husbands' darting his tongue out to demand access to that warm cavern.

Ares allowed the moist invader entrance, and moaned as the slippery tongue mapped the interior of his mouth. Panting, he pulled away. "Us. Bed. Naked. Now!" he gritted out, and the two flashed quickly away.

---

Having taken the edge off their desire for each other, Ares and Joxer lay entwined on the bed, hands stroking gently.

Ares cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. "So...what exactly did Hera say about the, uh, the...baby making thing? For guys?" He flushed slightly.

Joxer was amused by his husband's embarrassment to speak of the subject. "Are you uncomfortable with the thought of me being pregnant?"

"No! No, not at all! It's just...well, you talked to my mother about us...having sex. That's just...kind of...embarrassing, you know? I don't want my mother knowing about my sex life!"

Joxer snorted. "It was kind of unavoidable, love. She IS probably the only one who would have know about how two gods could have a baby together. At least, I don't know of any others who would. Besides, she was very understanding about it. I think she glad we've settled down, in a manner of speaking, with each other. She's a wonderful person when you get to know her."

"Yeah, she is. Except for that little homicidal quirk she expresses when she finds out about yet another of dear old Dad's conquests and the resulting offspring. Why doesn't he learn--it's not a good idea to cheat on the Queen of the Gods. I can't ever imagine cheating on you...and if you ever did--well, let's just say I take after my mother more than a little!"

Joxer petted his irate husband soothingly. "You know I would never do that. Why in Hades would I want anyone else when I have you in my bed...and my heart? I may be slightly on the unstable side, but I am not stupid! And anyone who even looks like they might go after you had better watch their back. I am definitely not into sharing!"

"Hmm, I'm glad we agree." They snuggled together a bit more, then Ares returned to his question. "You never did say what exactly is involved in this...venture of ours."

Joxer let a lustful grin grow. "Well, the first part is fairly basic. I'm sure we can...handle it."

"I'll bet. We're very good at...handling things."

"Oh, yeah. We certainly get a lot of practice at it." He kissed Ares passionately, then broke away. "Ahem. As I was saying, the first step is...you get to fuck me."

"Ah, that's a very good step. I like that step. Yes, I can do that. Repeatedly, hopefully." He made a move to do just that, but Joxer wiggled away.

"Would you cool it for a second! I'm trying to...stop it! Don't make me hurt you now!" He evaded the grasping hands as they slid along his damp skin, trying to pull him closer.

Ares pouted, but desisted. "Sure, get my, um, hopes up, then get all coy on me. You're such a tease!"

"Tease! Me! I didn't do anything--I was just laying here!"

"Yeah. Laying next to me, all naked and sweaty, smelling of sex...then talking about me fucking you, but not letting me. What else am I supposed to think?" He sighed pitifully.

"Oh, please! As if you don't get enough sex or something...I happen to know for a fact that you do! And you'll get to fuck me...as soon as I finish telling you what Hera said we should do. So calm your libido for a bit, OK?"

"The sacrifices I make for you."

Joxer snorted. "Yeah, right. Poor baby. I feel for you, really."

Ares frowned. "I'm not sensing a whole lot of husbandly care and affection there."

Joxer rolled his eyes. "Anyway. Let's go to step two, shall we?"

"That depends--is it as interesting as step one?"

"Quit it! OK, step two--when you cum inside me--"

"Good, I'm liking it so far."

Joxer glared at Ares. "I swear, if you say one more thing, you're going to be very lonely during my pregnancy, if you catch my meaning."

Ares gulped. "Um, yes, well, I'll just lay here quietly, shall I?"

"Good plan. I'll come back over there if you promise to be good." At Ares' nod, he moved cautiously back beside him and continued, "At that point, we have to sort of merge our energies and, while we're linked, create a place inside me for the baby. Once we do that, we combine your seed with mine inside me and...well, push it to make it alive. If it works, we should have a tiny baby starting to grow. We'll need to check with Hera to make sure everything is going well, but she assured me that it's rather difficult to mess it up." He looked at his husband expectantly. Ares remained quiet. "Um, you can talk now."

Ares sighed with relief. "OK, let's see if I have this right. Somehow, after we're both out of it from experiencing the orgasm of our lives (which I assure you, it will be when you finally let me get ahold of you!), we need to have retained enough brain cells to merge and create a baby? That about cover it?"

"Uh, yeah. You could put it that way, I suppose. There is...one other thing." He fidgeted slightly.

"There's more? Oh, do go on--I'm all ears!"

"Well, Hera said that after we've...um, come together so closely (not that way!), we may not be able to separate fully. We might be, kind of, permanently...linked. Not like totally! Just...more...aware of each other."

Ares' thought about that, then asked quietly, "Is that a bad thing? I mean, would you not like being that much a part of me?"

Joxer's eyes flew wide, and he moved quickly to reassure him. "Oh, no! That's not it at all! I just...I wasn't sure if you'd want that with me."

Ares frowned and scolded gently, "And why wouldn't I? You're already closer to me than anyone else has ever been. I love you! Why shouldn't I want you to be a part of me forever?"

Joxer flushed. "I'm sorry. I suppose I'm still not quite used to having someone love me the way you do."

Ares hugged him. "No problem. I'll make sure you get used to it, my heart. It will just take time together. Lots and lots of time..." He kissed his lover. "Meanwhile, how about we get started on that baby, hmmm?" He began to lick down Joxer's neck.

"Oh, yes. That's...that's a very good idea."

---

Ares was awakened by the movement of the bed when Joxer bolted from it. "What--" He heard the unexpected sound of his husband retching into a basin as if trying to rid himself of a lung. He jerked himself upright.

Joxer heaved frantically, the intensity of the nausea he felt shocking him. Gods...kill me now, please. A hand settled on the back of his head, cradling him gently.

Ares rushed over, worried. Petting Joxer's head soothingly, he crooned, "It's OK, it'll be all right." When Joxer had finished, he summoned a cup of water for him to rinse his mouth with. He stroked his husband's back, rubbing softly.

When Joxer had recovered, he tilted his head back to rest it on Ares' chest. Groaning, he held a hand against his belly. "That was not fun."

Worried, Ares ashed, "Are you...is something wrong? Is the baby OK?"

Joxer smiled wanly. "I'm sure everything is fine. I just...felt a little sick. I'm over it now."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should eat a little something, settle your stomach." He grew alarmed at the greenish tinge that appeared on Joxer's face at this suggestion. He barely got Joxer back over the basin before he resumed gagging. Once he had finished, Ares said firmly, "That's it. Something's wrong. We're going to see Mother." Raising a hand to forestall any argument, he then pulled Joxer into his arms and flashed away.

---

"But he was sick! He was throwing up! And he can't even think about food, much less eat!" Ares ranted at his mother. "You have to fix him!"

Hera rolled her eyes at the way her son was overreacting. "Ares...Ares!...Ares!" He looked at her, breath coming rapidly. "Thank you. Now, do I know about childbirth?" Ares nodded. "And am I a mother myself?" Ares nodded again. "And exactly how many pregnant have you ever been around for long?" "None," he muttered sullenly. "So who would you say is the expert here?" She tapped her foot, waiting for an answer.

Ares sighed in defeat. "You are." He turned to look at Joxer, who was laying on a sofa, even paler than usual. "But he's so sick! That can't be normal!"

"Trust me on this...I've seen sicker." Taking pity on Ares, she patted his arm comfortingly. "It's just one of those things about being pregnant. Some don't get sick at all, others have trouble with it for months." Ares shuddered at that. "Usually, it only lasts for a bit in the mornings, and goes away after a few weeks. He'll be fine."

"And it...it won't hurt the baby?"

"The baby is coming along wonderfully. Oh, and in case you were wondering, it's a boy."

Ares stared at her, jaw dropping. "A boy?" he breathed. "I'm...We're having a son?" A little boy. Mine and Joxer's. Our son. Oh... He walked in a daze over to his husband, settling down beside him.

Joxer looked up at him, giving him a weak grin. "Hey. What did she say." He grew a bit worried at Ares' expression. "What--? Something's wrong, isn't it? Oh, gods..." He covered his stomach protectively.

Ares shook his head to clear it. "No, no! Nothing's wrong. Apparently, the getting sick thing is normal for pregnant, um, people. Mother said it usually only happens in the mornings, and will go away soon."

"Then...why do you look like that? What else did she say?"

"Oh, not much. Just that we're having a boy." He chuckled as the look of shock that appeared on his husband's face turned slowly to wonder.

"A boy. A...a son. We're...having a son. Oh, my gods..." He looked down to where their baby--their son was growing. "Hello little boy. You're Daddies are so happy to have you here. We can't wait until you're born." His voice was soft and tender.

Watching their exchange, Hera smiled wistfully. He's so happy. My little boy is all grown up and married, and now he's having another baby. I think he'll...I think they'll both make wonderful fathers. She briskly wiped away a tear that had formed, then smiled wickedly. I wonder what the rest of the Pantheon will think about the baby. Won't they be shocked! I don't imagine any of them ever thought this day would come. Laughing softly, she left the two gods in each other's tender care.

Unmindful of her exit, Ares held his husband, overcome by the love he felt through their link...the link that had formed with the baby. He smiled. Thank you, little son, you've given us so much.

Joxer reached for one of Ares' hands. "Here, feel where your son is growing." He pressed the hand against the slight swell in his stomach, relaxing back onto his husband's chest.

Ares stroked his lover's belly. In awe, he cupped his hand around the spot where their son resided. He whispered in Joxer's ear, "I love you, my heart. You bring me such joy. And a son! You've given me a son!" He laughed delightedly, hugging his husband tight. "How did I ever deserve what you've done for me?"

Joxer tilted his face up and planted a kiss on Ares' chin. "Easy. You loved me." They kissed softly, wrapped in each other's love.

---

"They don't fit."

Ares looked up at his husband. "What?"

"I said, they don't fit." Joxer frowned down at his pants, which he was vainly trying to pull up around his waist.

"What are you talking about?" Frankly, Ares thought Joxer looked rather nice shirtless with his pants hanging low on his hips. Like he's ready for a good, hard fuck. But then, he always looks like that!

"My pants. The ones that you think make my ass look so sexy. They don't fit. They're too small."

Ares rolled his eyes, not understanding what the fuss was about. "So? You're a god, just make them bigger."

Joxer glared at his insensitive lover. "That is not the point! The point is, I wanted to wear them tonight, and I'm too fat to fit into them anymore!"

"You're not fat, you're just...bulging a bit. It's...kind of cute, really." He grinned and moved to kiss Joxer, startled when he pulled away. He gasped as icy cold water poured over his head. Spluttering, he stared in shock at the smirking god, then dried himself. "What in Tartarus was that about!?"

"Oh sure you can stand there all gorgeous and sexy -- you'll have everyone panting over you tonight. Meanwhile, I look like a fat, hideous...cow! I'm disgusting!"

Ares watched his lover, distressed. Oh gods, he looks like he's about to cry. Damn, these must be the mood swings Mother warned us about. Great, how am I supposed to deal with this? He haltingly stepped toward the distraught god. Gathering the tense body close, he rubbed gently along Joxer's back. "Hey, love. It's OK. I think you're the most handsome god on Olympus. You look so sexy carrying our child -- I can hardly keep my hands off you! And anyone who calls you fat will have to answer to me!" He said the last with a murderous glint in his eyes.

Ooohhh. He looks so...edible when he gets defensive. Mmmm. He snuggled closer to Ares. Licking his lips, he turned his face up and, running his fingers along the bare strip of skin exposed by Ares' vest, he purred, "So, you like me all knocked up with your baby? Does that make you feel..." He swirled his tongue around an ear, sucking and niggling at the lobe, "...manly?" His voice had dropped to a husky whisper.

Ares' eyes glazed over as he felt his own pants become uncomfortably tight. He rocked against the smooth body of his lover, pulse quickening as their cocks brushed.

Joxer snatched a quick kiss, slipping from Ares' grasp before he could deepen their contact. "Ah ah ah, lover. We're supposed to be there in less than an hour, and we need to speak to Cupid first."

"They can wait." Ares growled, reaching out to pull Joxer back to him.

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to make a big announcement to the Pantheon about our son. 'Let's throw them all off balance' you said. "They need to be shaken up occasionally' you said. So, that's what we're going to do. And you can wipe that pout off your face -- while it does incredible things for your sex appeal, it will do you good to wait a bit." He grinned wickedly. "Besides, think of it this way -- all the anticipation is sure to make the sex even better!"

Ares groaned at the thought of their sex life being even more...stimulating. We may be gods, but I don't see how that could be possible! Still...can't hurt to try. At least, not in a bad way! Clearing his throat, he snaked a hand down to adjust himself. "Yes...well. We, uh, should probably get going them."

Joxer smirked, eyeing the prominent bulge in Ares' pants.. Like I don't know what you're thinking about! "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Cupid should be here soon, and we really do need to talk to him about this before announcing it to the rest of Olympus."

"Hmmm, then we should probably finish getting you dressed then." With a surge of power, he clothed Joxer in soft leather pants and a loose shirt that disguised his rounded stomach. "There, now no one will be able to tell until we want them to."

The two gods chuckled as they envisioned the reaction their news was sure to invoke.

---

Cupid's jaw dropped, and he sat down heavily. "You...you're...that's...oh, my gods..."

"Well, that was coherent," Ares snorted wryly.

"Hey, you OK?" Joxer walked toward the young god, concerned.

"Um, yeah, jus...gimme a sec, 'Kay?" He took a deep breath. "So, you're preggers with Dad’s kid, huh? Wow. That's, like, so totally not something I expected. But...why did you wait so long to tell me? Did you think I'd be upset or something?"

Joxer shook his head. "Of course not! It's just, um...well, you see..." He looked at Ares helplessly.

"What he's trying to say is, we wanted it to be a surprise for the rest of the bunch, and it seems that what you know doesn't stay secret for long." Ares eyed his blond son, arching an eyebrow.

"Hey! I can too keep a secret!"

"Uh-huh." Ares looked at him skeptically. "Then how, exactly, did everyone find out about us being together before we told anyone. We know for a fact that you were the only one knew about that."

Cupid flushed. "Aw, Dad! I only watched for a little bit! And I only told Mom!"

Joxer rolled his eyes. "Well, that explains why everyone knew...she is absolutely the worst gossip I know!"

Cupid shrugged. "Hey, nobody's perfect." He looked at his father and stepfather. "So, how are you guys gonna break the news to the rest of the 'family'?"

Ares narrowed his eyes, a sneer forming on his lips. "Just wait and see, son. Trust me, you won't regret it."

---

"So, what do you think Ares wanted everyone here for?" Zeus turned to look at his wife questioningly.

Hera struggled to keep a grin off her face. "Why don't you just wait and find out? I'm sure we'll see what's going on soon enough."

"Hmph. Well, it had better be important, since he asked that the entire Pantheon be here. Like we haven't got better things to do." His eyes glazed as he thought lustfully of a certain nymph. The things she could do...

Hera gritted her teeth, knowing what was on the old goat's mind. It wasn't as if he tried too hard to keep his affairs secret. That's what makes it even more unbearable; he hasn't even got the courtesy to pretend that our marriage is more than just a sham. He doesn't care how humiliated I am by these...liaisons of his. Seething, she simply glared at the king of the Gods, then turned away from him in contempt.

---

"Cupie, sweetie!" Aphrodite waved and yelled across the room as her son came through one of the doors.

Cupid groaned silently. I hate it when she does that! Smiling tightly, he crossed the room. "Hi Mom. How ya doing?"

"Oh, isn't this exciting! I wonder what the important announcement is?" She glanced sideways at Cupid. "You wouldn't happen to have...found out, would you?" She batted her eyelashes.

Yeah, right, like I'm gonna fall for that! Dad would kill me if I ruined this for him. "Nope, I don't have a clue." He rolled his eyes as his mother shrugged and launched into a one-sided discussion of possible reasons for the gathering.

"I mean, It's just so weird. Like, they invited positively everyone! Zeus, Hera, Hades (major eeeewww there), Poseidon, Apollo and Artemis, me and Heph of course, Athena..."

Cupid tuned out this litany. With the scores of major and minor deities there, she could go on like that for hours! He tuned in to other conversations to see what the rest were thinking of this meeting.

"...probably splitting up. I knew they wouldn't last, they're just too..."

"...can't believe how rude, dragging us..."

"...hope this doesn't take too long, I have a couple of stunning..."

"...there's something wrong? Why would..."

"...so cute together! Pity though, I wish I could have..."

"Cupie! Cupie!"

Cupid jerked his head back around to find his mother, hand on hips, frowning at him. "Um, yeah?"

"You weren't listening to a word I was saying, were you? That is sooo rude! I'm your mother, and you really should..."

Cupid's eyes glazed over at this familiar lecture. Gods! I could probably quote the thing! Daaaad...would you and Jox get in here, like, now! He heaved a sigh of relief as a hush settled over the congregation. Even Aphrodite was silent. He turned to see his father and step-father walking into the room, hand in hand.

---

"OK, Joxer, time to go." Ares captured a hand and pulled lightly.

"You know, I'm feeling rather tired. Maybe I should go take a nap..." He tugged ineffectually at his hand, but Ares refused to release it.

"Babe, look at me." Joxer did so reluctantly. "You look great, you do not look fat, no one is going to make fun of you, they'll be too busy being insanely jealous of our complete and total happiness. Did that cover everything?" Joxer looked away sheepishly. "Hey, I love you, you know. Nothing will change that."

"But can't you hear what they're all saying? Half of them are practically drooling at the thought of us separating, while the other half could care less about the whole thing. I think Cupid and Hera are about the only ones on our side in this."

"Well, we'll just have to shock them into understanding that this is permanent. And I think we found a fairly effective way of doing that. Now, lets get out there and shock a few gods." He offered Joxer a brilliant smile, which was slowly returned.

"Sorry, just...nerves, you know? I think it's this whole pregnancy is messing with me more than I thought it would." Joxer straightened and took a deep breath. "OK, let's go."

With a kiss for luck that almost made them decide to forget the whole announcement thing altogether, the two went through the door into the main hall, hands clasped together. The quiet that descended in the room at their entrance was almost funny, as every face turned to stare at them expectantly.

Joxer paused, then whispered to his husband, "Gee, think they might be expecting something?"

Ares snorted, trying hard not to burst out laughing. "Them? Nah!" He tugged the hand in his and led Joxer to the raised platform across the room. The crowd shifted to let them pass, and a soft murmuring grew as the gods and goddesses shifted their opinions of what was going on.

The couple seated themselves and looked out with slightly amused expressions until the noise died down again. Ares cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. "Joxer and I are positively...delighted that you all took time out of undoubtedly busy schedules," he threw a quick glance at his father, who shifted uncomfortably, "to honor us with your presence."

Joxer smothered a fit of laughter, pretending to cough. Ares raised an eyebrow at him, waiting until he had himself under control again.

"Ahem. Well, we just wanted to make a small announcement, nothing too interesting, in fact, I'm sure it will some as no surprise to some of you." He smirked, thinking of Hera and Cupid, who were probably going to be the only ones not somewhat shocked. "There has been a, shall we say, development in my husband's and my relationship." He paused, waiting for the others draw their own conclusions from that ambiguous statement. As the noise level grew once again, he and Joxer unabashedly eavesdropped on snatches of whispered conversations.

"...gods, what in Hades do you suppose..."

"...knew it! They are breaking up! What else..."

"...holding hands? Now way could they be..."

"...with a goddess? I certainly wouldn't mind joining in..."

"...think so! They are just too good to..."

Joxer finally rolled his eyes. "Oh, give them a break and just spill it already!"

"Spoilsport," Ares muttered.

Turning to hide his face from the onlookers, Joxer crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue at his lover

Ares snickered. "Oh, now that's real mature of you! Why don't you just cry and call me a meany, and have done with it!"

Joxer sniffed. "Just think of it as a mood swing. Which makes it your fault! So there!...meany."

Ares struggled to keep his face serious, then clapped his hands once, loudly. When he was certain everyone's attention was firmly fixed on him, he continued. "As my husband has so...kindly pointed out, there may be a few of you who have no idea what I might be talking about. So for that minority, I'll elaborate."

---

Zeus frowned. "What is that boy playing at now? Why would he have asked for this meeting if everyone already knows about whatever it is he's going to say?"

Hera simply shrugged. I swear, sometimes he can be so dense! You would think he'd have figured out his son's sense of humor by now. Of course, he seems to be a lot better at making children than actually having relationships with them... With a last dark look at her wayward husband, she returned her attention to her youngest son. Thank all the powers he didn't turn out like his father. He and Joxer are so...ahem, wrapped up in each other, there's no room for any outsiders. They're a family...a real one.

She sighed and threw a brief glance at the winged God of Love, who was apparently getting his ear talked off by his overly bubbly mother. And Cupid! It surprised me how easily Joxer accepted him as a son; he's so protective of him. Anyone who noticed how those two treat Cupid would realize they would be perfect parents for another child. They all are so close...and now with the new baby...That family of four will certainly liven things up around Olympus! She perked up as she heard Ares break the news.

---

"Oh, I can't wait!" Aphrodite bounced up and down, her jiggling attracting the lustful gazes of not a few gods. "What do you suppose he's going to say? I hope it's nothing bad. Joxie and Arry are sooo cute together, and the vibes they put out! Talk about a major rush!" She giggled inanely. "Hephy sure doesn't mind the aftereffects of that, let me tell you! That remionds me, I wonder where he got himself to. I'm sure he..." the flow of words continued, spilling forth unchecked in her excitement.

Desperate to halt his mother's pointless babble, Cupid hissed, "Mother! Shhhhhh! He's about to explain." Well, that shut her up! About time, too... He waited for his father to speak, relishing the probable reactions of his mother and the other deities.

---

Ares let a wicked grin grow, which had the side effect of causing several nearby goddesses to begin entertaining lustful thoughts of the dark god. Well, more so than usual anyway. "As I'm sure you've been able to figure out by now, Joxer and I are in this for the long run. And as such, we have made an important decision which will have an impact on the lives of everyone here."

The group looked askance at each other, shifting uncomfortably. It was never a good sign when War was this amused.

---

Joxer was highly entertained by the growing uneasiness that was becoming the main emotion expressed. Oh, they are going to love this. Not! As the God of Trouble, he was looking forward to the burst of energy he was sure to receive when Ares finally decided to break the news. Of course, the way it looks, he'll be stringing them along until I actually have the baby! He felt a strange fluttering in the region of his stomach, as if the baby itself was getting some sort of energy from all this as well. Woah! That was weird! I'll have to ask Hera if that's a normal type thing. He chewed on his lower lip, thinking.

Ares, distracted for a moment by the sexual shock his husband's absentminded action never failed to invoke, blinked and shifted, fighting the urge to adjust his hardening erection while all eyes were on him. Flushed, he tore his gaze away from the sensual picture and picked up where he had left off. "Um, well, yes. Ahem. Anyway, we figured that we'd have a go at expanding our family, so we've decided to have a child of our own. Who will arrive in, oh, about five months." He tossed that out nonchalantly, as if it were only a minor detail, hardly worth thinking about. Then he sat back and waited.

The jaw after jaw dropped at this sunk in. Looks of fascinated horror appeared on the majority of the faces there. One reaction seemed to be prevalent.

Ares and Joxer? A baby? Theirs? Oh...my...Gods!

Then the noise began as each individual attempted to make his or her opinion known.

---

Aphrodite squealed with delight, clutching Cupid's arm as she exclaimed, "Oh wow! That is just soooo sweet! Like, Joxie and Arry, having a baby! Of their very own! A cuddly, soft little..." Her brow wrinkled as a thought struck her. "Oh, stop, no, wait a minute. OK, like, they're both gods. You know, non-female. So...how are they having a baby? Can they do that? Who's the mother?"

Cupid blinked. Then he collapsed with laughter, tears running down his cheeks. Gasping for breath, he ignored his mother's confused stare. The mother! Joxer...oh, Gods, Joxer's gonna be the...mother! So does that, like, make him my step-mom? Oh my...

---

Zeus frowned at his son in consternation. How exactly so they expect to have a child? Have they gotten one of the goddesses to agree to give them one? He looked around the room, trying to decide which of the females present would give up a child to the Gods of War and Trouble.

---

Hades groaned. A child of Trouble and War? Damn, I can just see the increase in my workload. Any kid of theirs is bound to make my job more difficult. Isn't just the two of them bad enough?

---

Poseidon chuckled merrily. Well, this is an interesting twist! Things will certainly be getting lively on Olympus. And about time, too! I may just have to visit more often. He smiled fondly at his nephew. That boy can always be counted on to stir things up!

---

One of the goddesses near Joxer spoke up hesitantly, confusion evident. "Um, I think it's great you guys are together and everything, and the kid thing is swell too. But...how...how exactly are you having this kid? Because, you're both, well, gods. I mean, you know that, but..." she stopped, flustered.

Taking pity on the embarrassed goddess, Joxer raised his voice for the first time. "It's not exactly a well known fact, but it is possible for two gods to have a child together. It just requires a little extra...push. Once we found out what was involved, it wasn't too difficult a feat to achieve."

Apollo piped up, snickering, "Five more months, huh? So, what? That mean you already have it in the works? And while we're on the subject, which one of you two is going to be the mother?" His amusement was quelled by the fierce glare that Ares directed at him. Flushing, he looked away.

Mentally planning a few very painful tortures that he could inflict on Apollo, Ares snarled, "Are you implying that there's something demeaning about a male having a baby? I wonder what the goddesses here think of that opinion?"

Apollo backed away as several of the women turned their own angry faces to him, shuffling closer. "Um...no! I mean, you know, I was just...uh...I...gotta go!" He vanished in a shower of sparkles.

"Well, there's one god who's going to have a difficult time getting laid within the next few years! Pissing off one or two deities is nothing...getting on the bad side of every goddess in the Pantheon is a sure way to wind up in deep shit!" Joxer snickered. This is great! Imagine the power rush I'll get from this for a while!

The goddesses themselves giggled, even now starting to plan their campaign. Aphrodite moved closer, dragging Cupid in her wake. "This is, like, so totally cool, guys! I mean, wow! A baby! But, I'd kinda like to know who the moth--um, who's carrying the baby, too."

Ares smile softly, pulling Joxer close to his side. "Joxer was kind enough to agree to carry the baby."

Joxer snorted. Yeah, like the entire thing wasn't my idea!

"Oh! That's so..." Aphrodite sniffled, then flung herself on Joxer, kissing his cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Joxie! I mean, let me tell you, the whole preggers thing is, like, not easy. I mean, the getting sick bit was sooo grody, and being all round and fat, and let me tell you, the cravings are no picnic either. Why, when I was having Cupid..." she gushed on, heedless of her audience's increasingly glazed expressions.

---

Oh shit!! Zeus listened to the explanation, an uneasy feeling growing inside him. Their kid!? There's going to be more than two of them!? Suddenly, he realized something. He spun on his wife, fury evident. "The only way they could have known about how to do this would have been with your help! You said you knew nothing about this!"

Hera glared at him. "I never said I knew nothing about it -- I said you'd have to wait and see. I was not going to ruin my son's surprise. And I think the whole thing is simply wonderful...so romantic..." She sighed happily, content with her son's happiness over his impending fatherhood, ignoring her husband's exit.

Zeus left in a huff, extremely unhappy with being kept in the dark like that. I'm the King of the Gods! I should be told of these things! There's no way I would have agreed to something this ill thought out. He never considered the fact that this was why no one had informed him of their plans.

---

After receiving congratulations of varying degrees of sincerity, Ares ushered his husband away, pleading exhaustion to the crowd. Finally, everyone had gone, leaving just the happy couple.

Ares gathered Joxer back against his chest, cradling the rounded stomach gently as he pressed soft kisses into the pale neck.

"Mmmm...you have about two centuries to stop that." Joxer tilted his head, granting that talented mouth better access. He yawned deeply, relaxing into the strong form.

Ares chuckled and picked his love up, carrying his to their bad. Laying him down carefully, he undressed them both and, slipping under the blankets, extinguished the lights. "Sleep, my heart. Today was a long day, and you don't want to keep the baby up anymore, do you?"

Another yawn, then a sleepy voice uttered, "Love you, mine. Sorry I'm too tired for any fooling around tonight."

"Hush now. We have the rest of eternity together. For tonight, just sleep."

The two drifted off, Ares wrapped protectively around his husband and their unborn child.

---

Joxer jerked awake with a gasp. His hand flew to his distended belly. The pain eased, and he relaxed. Woah, that was not fun! Guess I shouldn't have eaten that fried salmon for dinner. Stretching, he shifted to a more comfortable position. Settling back, he was just starting to drift off when another pain hit. He groaned, curling up on his side. Panting, he waited it out. When it ended, he sat up carefully. OK, maybe walking around will help some.

Grunting, he rolled away from Ares and levered himself out of the bed. As he walked across the room, he paused in front of a full-length mirror. Gods! I am so fat! This sucks. Really, really badly. Sighing, he looked down toward where he knew his ankles were located, wishing he could reach them to rub some of the ache away. Another pain hit abruptly, and he doubled over. Right. I'm getting the feeling this is not the fish talking here. That means...

He groped his way back to the bed and sat heavily on the side. Reaching over, he nudged his husband gently. "Ares..."

Ares twitched, then settled back into sleep.

Raising his voice a bit, he poked Ares' side firmly. "Ares."

Ares snuffled and rolled over onto his stomach.

Glaring, Joxer pinched his ass sharply. "Ares!"

Ares' eyes jerked open, and he blinked fuzzily. "Huh? Wha...?"

"I'm getting pains. I think the baby is coming."

The War God yawned. "Mmmm...good. Lemme know when it gets here." He curled up on his side, preparing to go back to sleep.

Joxer watched. Five, four, three, two, one...

"What!!" Ares flung himself upright, overbalancing and tumbling off the other side of the bed. Cursing, he scrambled to his feet, lighting up the room and staring panic-stricken at Joxer.

"I said, I think the baby is coming now."

Baby...now...oh Gods! Ares nodded and rushed over, gently encouraging his pregnant husband to lay down. "Right. Ok. Um...you...you stay there. I'll boil some water, and get some cloths, and --"

"Ares. Ares!" Gaining the flustered god's attention, he said softly, "Why don't you just get Hera, and she can take care of that, OK?"

"Hera. Yeah, Hera. OK. I'll get Hera. Don't move." He flashed out quickly.

Gritting his teeth as another contraction hit, he ground out, "I doubt that will be a problem."

---

Ares appeared outside his parent's bedchamber. He pounded frantically on the door until a sleepy and very irate Zeus answered. Pushing past him, his gaze lit upon his mother who was sitting up and staring at him questioningly.

Hera watched amused as a wild-eyed Ares brushed past his father, who was left spluttering. She lifted an eyebrow, waiting.

"Mother! Joxer...baby...now!"

Ares was almost incoherent, but Hera managed to figure this out. She quickly got out of bed, dressing herself, and hurried over to her son. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go."

---

When they returned to The Temple of War, Ares rushed over to Joxer, petting his hand furiously. "It's OK now, love. Mother's here, she'll take care of everything."

"Glad...oh!...to hear it." Sweat streamed down his face as he panted heavily.

Hera tapped Ares' shoulder. "Ares, you need to go get Asclepius for me, all right?"

Ares swung around to look at her, horrified. "Why? What's wrong? Is something --"

"Ares!" Hera shook her head, trying not to get upset with her obviously unhinged son. "Ares, Joxer is male. He can't have the baby the same way a woman can. Asclepius is going to have to remove the baby himself. I told you all of this before, remember?"

"Right. Yeah." Ares nodded, a glazed look in his eyes. He pressed a kiss to Joxer's flushed cheek. "Be right back."

Hera sighed with relief, then moved to sit beside Joxer.

Moaning as another wave of pain passed, he looked up at her. "Remind me...why did I want to do this?"

She laughed softly. "Trust me, you'll forget about this the first time you set eyes on your child."

"Why do I not believe that?"

"Now dear, would I lie to you?"

"In a heartbeat," Joxer muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Hera asked sweetly.

"Um...nothing. I'm...not in my right mind at the moment, you know?"

"Hmm." She turned as Ares reappeared, Asclepius in tow.

The god looked at his patient, then nodded briskly. "OK, let's get started."

---

Ares paced back and forth, casting dark looks at the room from which he had been forcibly ejected. He tried to ignore the snorts of laughter coming from his son, who had arrived with Aphrodite and Hephaestus.

Man, Pops is, like, sooo freaked by this. It is too hilarious! Cupid snickered, earning another glare from his father. "You know, Pops, if you hadn't attacked Asclepius, you probably wouldn'ta got kicked out."

Ares snapped, "He was cutting him!"

"Um, duh. He kinda had to, you know. To get the baby out."

Ares merely snarled and continued pacing.

Cupid rolled his eyes and looked at his mother. Aphrodite was bouncing in her seat with excitement. Hephaestus was distracted watching her bounce. Everyone turned as the door opened.

Hera bit back a laugh as each face stared at her expectantly. She turned to the fidgeting War God, who was obviously restraining himself from simply rushing past her to get to his beloved. "Ares, you can go in now."

Ares let his breath out in a loud gush, then took off. He entered the room where his husband lay, and slowed. Moving softly, he padded over to the bad, anxiously checking Joxer over.

Joxer looked up at his husband, and smiled wanly. "Hey big guy. You OK?"

Ares sat nest to him and gave him a trembling grin. "I should be asking you that." His gaze moved to the now-flat belly that was covered by a sheet. "Um, did it...go well?"

"I'm fine, the baby's fine. Other than the pain, everything was great!"

"The...baby? Where...?" Hearing footsteps, he turned his head. Asclepius held out a small, wrapped bundle, which Ares took hesitantly. Moving aside the cloth, he stared raptly at the chubby face that was revealed. The tiny head moved, and pale blue eyes looked fuzzily into his own. He gasped in pure awe.

As Joxer watched his husband and child bond, something tugged at his heart. He lifted a hand and brushed it across Ares' cheek.

Ares wrenched his gaze away from the baby to stare at his husband. Eyes shining, he whispered, "He's so beautiful. Thank you so much." He placed the child in Joxer's arms and lay beside them. Running a finger across an impossibly smooth cheek, he smiled when tiny pursed lips captured it and began to suckle.

Joxer sighed happily. "He's perfect, isn't he? Our son. So very wonderful."

Overcome, Ares simply nodded his agreement.

"I love you. Both of you."

Placing a gentle kiss on his exhausted husband's lips, Ares replied, "I love you, too."

---

Ares waited for a lull in the commotion. When he finally had a chance, he clapped his hands loudly. The assorted gods and goddesses watched and waited. Beckoning his husband forward, Ares wrapped an arm around his waist. In a loud voice, he declared, "Joxer and I would like to present to all of Olympus our son."

Joxer held out the child, allowing everyone present a clear view. The week old baby squirmed, cooing happily. Joxer too raised his voice, "Meet Strife, the new God of Mischief."

A horrified hush descended as that statement sunk in. Suddenly, one voice rang out in the silence. "Oh...Fuck! You can't be serious!"

Pandemonium erupted, while Ares and Joxer only grinned wickedly. Strife, God of Mischief, chortled, soaking up the energy that was being directed his way.

---