Honour isn't about making the right choices, it's about dealing with the consequences.
- Midori Cato

This is an essay my brother wrote and my response to it below. It was done just four humour and to make fun of stereotypes. Not all opinions expressed are those of the author. The original essay is below. My version is below it, right about here.

The Last of the Mohicans is an especially poignant tragedy in that it exposes the conflict between two worlds and their differing approach to honour. This is demonstrated by many forms of honour throughout this book, and the extent to which it depicts the depth and severity of honour, and the length a person will go to not to be dishonoured.

The honour of the Huron chief Magua was not only dishonoured but brought about vengeance when the British commander Munro had him beat, an act that left scars on his back. This broke the Indian code of honour that only a scar on the front of a man was honourable, a scar on the back meant that he was a coward and had ran away from battle. This forced Magua to wear a cloak to hide the shame which was forever leaving a burning desire to have revenge on the man who caused him to hide the truth. He took the daughter of Gray Hair (Munro) for revenge and made her live with him and be his wife. This maddened Munro and one of his commanders Duncan. They both wanted to find not only Cora , but her sister Alice, that had also been taken captive by Magua. They vowed that they would not stop searching until they had Munro's daughters and made sure that Magua would pay for this injustice. Magua knew that they that they would come searching for him, so he placed Alice with the Delawares, and kept Cora with himself.

Magua had used the peace-keeping Delaware to hid Cora from her friends and had used Indian customs to trick them into holding Cora then releasing her to him. He tried to have them kill Chingachook's son, Uncas, who was the last of the Mohicans. Uncas is referred to by the Delawares as a pure-blood and is a long lost chief. Uncas and Chingachook have a tattoo of a blue turtle on their breasts. The Delaware had longed to have the empty seats at the council of the chiefs filled, moreover they knew that the lost Mohicans had been found. Magua had tried to have Uncas killed as well as turned a peaceful nation into a band of people who had the thirst for blood now running through their veins. Said thirst was for the Huron blood, especially that of Maguas. Uncas led the war party to hunt down the Huron. He pursued Magua into a cave which gave the Magua the upper hand to kill the Mohican since Uncas did not know the cave well. Uncas followed to save Cora , but was killed in his attempt when he was stabbed by Magua. Uncas' honour was known to all. His woods man friend (Hawkeye), who was white but Indian in nature, avenged his companions death by shooting Magua in the back, making him plummet to his death. This friendship of the white woods man and the Mohican prevailed until death, because it was his honour in combat to avenge his fallen friends death, by killing Magua.

During this time, warfare was occurring between the French and British. The French were trying to seize the fort from Munro and the French commander, Montcalm, offered a honourable solution to the fighting and death. He said that they all could leave the fort unharmed and unmolested by attack. This meant that the men of the crown wouldn't have to die to save their country, that they could keep their stripes and leave. Munro signed the treaty, thus showing trust in that when he left the fort the French commander would keep up his side of the bargain. This honour was betrayed by the Indians when they left the security of the fort. A Indian warrior walked up to a women grabbed her baby and then threw it on the rocks, smashing its skull in. The Indians then let out a blood-curdling war whoop, which led to the death of many white men and women, because they thought that the honour of a white was the same as that of the Indian.

The disrespect for honour that Montcalm showed in letting the Indians brutally kill the women, men and children and not lend the English a hand. He only sat back and watched the English get slaughtered like pigs. The same disrespect was shown by the Huron when they had no scalps to show the tribe when they returned. Then they ambushed the troops and civilians leaving the fort so they would -- in their minds -- have fulfilled their honour.

Montcalm showed honour in revealing the letter to Munro that revealed Munro's reinforcements weren't coming, and that fight was futile because in the end they would die. The same honour was shown by a commander in the English ranks, Ducan, who also followed the code of honour by protecting the girls from harm as long as he could, instead of running away.

A Huron had dishonoured his tribe by being wounded in battle by foes. The Elders said to him that "though the Great Spirit has made you pleasant to the eyes, it would have been better that you had not been born." (p 254) He killed himself rather than live with the shame of being dishonoured. While a solider would fight to the death, if wounded he would not kill himself. The honour in combat has different extremes for the Caucasian soldier and the Indian warrior. Their difference is the definition they have of honour and to what lengths would one follow it. This is demonstrated by the Mohican warrior Uncas. He had the very same characteristics as that of a true warrior. An Amerindian reciting his history and glories is recorded as saying the following:

"She called him the "panther of his tribe"; and described him as one whose moccasin left no trail on the dews; whose bound was like the leap of the young fawn; whose eye was brighter than a star in the dark night; and whose voice, in battle, was loud as thunder of the Manitou." (p 363)

Like that of the true warrior, he risked his own life many occasions for that of his friends. When he, like an honourable warrior, put Cora's life over his, he was slain in his attempts to try to right a wrong. Though Uncas himself will not give into the pressure of his captors under any means of torture, including verbal abuse from an old Huron squaw. He defies Magua when taken captive, insults him and ridicules his honour. "The healing waters will never bring the dead Huron's to life," returned Uncas, in the music of the Delawares; "the tumbling river washes their bones; their men are squaws; their women owls. Go! Call together the Huron dogs, that they may look upon a warrior. My nostrils are offended; they sent the blood of a coward." (p 261) Hawkeye tries to save the life of his friend, and would do this at any cost, even by becoming a captive himself. He would give his own existence up for the life of Cora. "After all, it is likely the imps would have managed to master my scalp, so a day or two will make no difference in the everlasting reckoning of time." (p 334)

The white have the same value of honour as the Indian when it comes to the value of a friends life when they are being held captive. When Duncan enters the camp to try to save Alice, Munro takes him aside and says: "And now God bless you! You have shown a spirit that I like, for it is the gift of youth, more especially one of warm blood and a stout heart." (p240) Duncan makes his way into the tribe and finds Alice, then escapes by pretending to be a Medicine Man. He told the Indians that he was going to take the sick Indian girl into the woods to heal her. When in truth the girl was Alice, whom he was helping escape from the Huron. Though both the white man and the Indian share honour it is the Mohican that is the most honourable.

When they are greatly out numbered at the water fall, the Mohicans will not leave the defenceless sisters and Duncan at the mercy of the Huron. They vow to fight to the death, which will come very soon because they have no more powder for their guns. The sisters tell them to leave and live. They vow to return to kill the Huron and save the sisters from their misfortune. The Mohicans kept their word and did save them in the end even though it cost the life of Uncas, the last of the Mohicans. Their bravery and valour is what makes them not only the symbol for honour, but all that the word stands for.

The honour was the foundation of their belief and their way of combat was determined by the honour code that each man had. It has been demonstrated that Indians honour is of higher value than that of the white solider. For it was proven through bravery, courage, and loyalty that the Mohicans had a code of honour that in the end brought about the extinction of the last truly honourable people. The English weren't honourable in that they ignored their conscience and betrayed what the Indians valued most in the human spirit - honour. Everyone has honour. What is rare is the courage to follow that honour to the dark place where it leads -- death.

An exploitative ground-breaking research style essay by the renowned and infamous scholastic scholar the Right Honourable Josh MacLeod, Esq, Bar, PhD, dealing with the (Amer)Indians, the British, the French, Montcalm (who is not the man in the Seven Years War), Chingachook (the father of the last of the Moccasins), the last of the Moccasins, a woodsman/scout/friend Hawkeye, and many other matters pertaining to the issues at hand, be they large or small, as well as pertaining to the concepts of honour, duty, loyalty, friendship, courage and the nobility of the savage and other boring topics as well as he life and times of many great men and women, things, aliens and their pets and the wonders of nature.

The Last of the Moccasins is an especially pathetic tragedy in that it is not Romeo and Juliet. Nor is it any of Shakespeare's work, for that matter. Some say it was the worst of the authors books and reading it must make students want to read Shakespeare. It exposes the conflict between two worlds (Mars and Venus) and their differing approach to honour. This is not too accurately demonstrated by far too many forms of honour throughout this book, and the extent to which it depicts the width and length and height of honour, which is a² +b² = c². Thankfully it does not venture outside these three dimensions into space and time for then it would be really boring.

The honour of the Huron chief Mango was not dishonoured but brought about vengeance anyway when the British commander, Munro (with no e, blast it!), had him beat, an act that left scars on his back -- and his front and sides also but that is not important. This broke the Indian code of honour -- and hurt Mango (like anyone cares) in that only a scar on the front of a man was honourable, a scar on the back meant that he was a coward and had ran away from battle. This forced Mango to wear a cloak to hide the shame which was forever leaving a burning desire to have revenge on the man who caused him to hide the truth that he was a coward. He took the daughter of Munro for revenge and made her live with him and be his wife ¹ This maddened Munro -- who was not exactly sane to begin with -- and one of his commanders Duncan, who didn't want to be fired so Monro could pay for his therapy bills. They both wanted to find not only Cora , but her sister Alice, that had also been taken captive by Mango. They had a suspicion that Alice had gotten lost following a white rabbit, but they were not sure where she had gone. They vowed that they would not stop searching until they had Munro's daughters and made sure that Mango would pay for this injustice of making them have to get the brats back. Mango knew that they that they would come searching for him, so he placed Alice with the Delawares (it took awhile for Munro to figure out if Alice was in North or South Delware, or in Wonderland), and kept Cora with himself. Cora was beginning to think of roasting white rabbits.

Mango had used the peace-keeping Delaware to hid Cora from her friends and had used Indian customs to trick them into holding Cora then releasing her to him.² He tried to have them kill Chingachook's³ son, Uranus, who was the last of the Moccasins. Uranus is referred to by the Delawares (both of them) as a pure-blood and is a long lost chief -- though how he got lost is unknown. Uranus and Chingachook have a tattoo of a blue turtle on their breasts and appear to have been branded by space aliens. The Delaware had longed to have the empty seats at the council of the chiefs filled, moreover they knew that the lost Moccasins had been found (lost and found is a grand thing.) and both had nice feet. Mango had tried to have Uranus killed as well as turn a peaceful nation into a band of people who had the thirst for blood now running through their veins -- much like LSD, in fact, very much like LSD. Mango yelled something to his followers about a first Reich but no one understood him. Uranus led the war party (and a birthday party, by mistake) to hunt down the Huron (He apparently had something against birds also). He pursued Mango into a cave ^{4 5 6} which gave the Mango the upper hand to kill the Moccasin since Uranus did not know the cave well. Uranus followed to save Cora , but was killed in his attempt when he was stabbed by Mango. Cora apparently just watched. Uranus' death was known to all. His woods man friend (Hawkeye), who was white but Indian in nature -- due to the miracles of plastic surgery and hypnosis-- avenged his companions death by shooting Mango in the back, making him plummet to his death⁷ This friendship of the white woods man and the Moccasin prevailed until death (there wasn't many ways it could last longer unless the woodsman was a necrophilliac), because it was his honour in combat to avenge his fallen friends death, by killing Mango. The fact that he was later arrested did little to console him to the fact that he had avenged his friend's death.

During this time, warfare was occurring between the French and British -- as usual. The French were trying to seize the fort from Munro and the French commander, Montcalm (not the one from the Seven Years War) , offered a honourable solution to the fighting and death -- and it did not involve quantum physics. He said that they all could leave the fort unharmed and unmolested by attack. This meant that the men of the crown wouldn't have to die to save their country, that they could keep their stripes (now yellow of course) and run away very fast with their tails between their legs. Munro signed the treaty, thus showing trust in that when he left the fort the French commander would keep up his side of the bargain.⁸ This honour was betrayed by the Indians when they left the security of the fort. A Indian warrior walked up to a women grabbed her baby and then threw it on the rocks, smashing its skull in. Obviously, they thought the child to be the Antichrist. The Indians then let out a blood-curdling war whoop -- that made some fine curd -- which led to the death of many white men and women, because the curd was poisoned.

The disrespect for honour that Montcalm showed in letting the Indians brutally kill the women, men and children and not lend the English a hand. He only sat back and watched the English get slaughtered like farts in a mitten.⁹ The same disrespect was shown by the Huron when they had no scalps to show the tribe when they returned. Then they ambushed the troops and civilians leaving the fort so they would -- in their warped and twisted minds -- have fulfilled their honour. Their Medicine Man obviously had not received his psychology degree from a reputable university. Montcalm showed honour in revealing the letter to Munro that revealed Munro's reinforcements weren't coming, and that fight was futile because in the end they would die. it seems obvious that no one could have conceived of forgery back then. The same honour was shown by a Ducan, who also followed the code of honour by protecting the girls from harm as long as he could, instead of running away. Why the girls he was protecting ended up running away from him is uncertain, though.

A Huron had dishonoured his tribe by being wounded in battle by foes and not dying.¹⁰ The Elders said to him that he should die. He killed himself rather than live with the shame of being dishonoured -- and killed by others anyway. (His brother wanted his bed.) While a solider would fight to the death, if wounded he would not kill himself. He would merely bleed for a long time and curse at fate. How productive that was is unknown since few of these soldiers lived to tell about their experiences.

Honour is demonstrated by the Moccasin warrior Uranus. He had the very same characteristics as that of a true warrior but was still alive. An Amerindian reciting his history and glories is recorded as saying the following:

"He was the luckiest son of a Moccasin to ever live. If only his shoes had been tied when he fought Mango. If he had not tripped over his laces, he would have won the fight."¹¹

Like that of the true warrior, he risked his own life many occasions for that of his friends. The fact that he survived so long says that he knew when to cut his losses -- and his friends -- and run. When he, like an honourable warrior, put Cora's life over his, he was slain in his attempts to try to right a wrong. Exactly what the wrong was is not known but it must have been impressive for him to die over.¹²

Though Uranus himself will not give into the pressure of his captors under any means of torture (tickling), including verbal abuse from an old Huron squaw who had nothing else to do. He likely would have if they had invented the Spanish Inquisition but Mango didn't have the time. Hawkeye tries to save the life of his friend, and would do this at any cost, but realises that dying won't save his friend.¹³

The white have the same value of honour as the Indian when it comes to the value of a friends life when they are being held captive -- they do it if they have to and can not find a lawyer good enough to get them out of the contract. When Duncan (along with his donuts), who does not have a good lawyer, enters the camp to try to save Alice, Munro takes him aside and says: "Be careful. The Cheshire cat is full of tricks and the Queen is evil." Duncan is so confused by this advice that he is almost caught. He makes his way into the tribe and finds Alice, then escapes by pretending to be a Medicine Man. He told the Indians that he was going to take the sick Indian girl into the woods to heal her (health care?). Since the Medicine Man often did this with women of the tribe every nine months, this was okay to them. They got suspicious when he is so confused that he forgets Alice. When they are greatly out numbered at the water fall¹⁴ the Moccasins will not leave the defenceless sisters and Duncan --having finally gotten them out and being followed -- at the mercy of the Huron. They vow to fight to the death, which will come very soon because they have no more powder for their guns. So the vow is essentially worthless since they will die anyway. The sisters tell them to leave and live. They are unable to since the sisters ask them to take their luggage. The Moccasins decide they would rather die than carry that ugly pink luggage. They keep their word and save the sisters in the end even though it cost the life of Uranus, the last of the Moccassins¹⁵ This led to much grief and conclusion because when Ducan called out that "Uranus is dead!" Cora was offended since her's was still fairly nice and attacked him.

I conclude that people are honourable. And Indians more honourable then them. Therefore Indians are not people. Witness their status cards. And the fact that they manage to avoid all taxes. Uranus is now remembered because his name is used to insult the White men. Indians say that "Uranus is better than you" and this offends people for some reason. Mango is remembered by them eating mangoes every year in honour of the invention of Velcro. Montcalm is forgotten since he is confused with some guy who fought some Wolfe person and Monro is forgotten since people think he is that Wolfe person. Duncan is remembered for starting up a donut chain and being married to Cora and Alice without either of them realising that the other one was married to him. The last of the moccasins is also remembered since the Indians began to fall to the white men then since they had no Moccasins to wear and their feet got too sore to go and battle in. The Medicine Men cared not for the outcome since they got rich on therapy bills.

¹ And they will all the pleasures prove, in hills and valleys, dales and fields, and all the nearby mountain yields . . . or some such.
² The Delaware's likely evolved into the Canadian peace-keepers.
³ Often pronounced Choo - choo.
⁴ It was a very big cave.
⁵ That was really dark.
⁶ And scary.
⁷ And the cave also had a big pit in it appparently.
⁸ Most people now believe Monro to have been an idiot.
⁹ Who says that life was dull before we had MTV? He had a ringside seat!
¹⁰ They had a very inferior Welfare system then and couldn't afford to feed him.
¹¹ An Indian myth credits her with the invention of Velcro.
¹² Legends say that he fell back when, with Cora's life on his (i.e. using her as a shield), she bit him and he dropped her, tripping over his shoelaces and being killed by Mango.
¹³ And Hawkeye's fondness for dead bodies does not seem to extend to his own.
¹⁴ And trying to make a Hydro dam at the same time.
¹⁵ As well as the "accidental" destruction of that hideous luggage.

By idolising those we honour, we do a disservice both to them and to ourselves. . . . We fail to recognise that we could go out and do likewise.
- Charlies Willie