Jess told me that I was the most spontaneous person that she knows. God, do you know what a compliment that is to me? For most of my life I wanted to be able to just see something and do it if I wanted. I grabbed men like that, I got possessions like that, I got at least short term love like that. Now I don't really know what's motivating me; I think some primal force that is finally letting me exist to live for me, to be impetuous, to do what feels right to me at the time, no questions asked. I am finally realizing what it is to live. And it's funny, because there are so many things holding me back from that; the shockwave of reality just courses through me sometimes, and I feel let down, like I am never really going to be able to do what I want. Like a plague, I guess, that just seems to cloud everything else. I haven't thought this clearly since I was a kid, when anything was possible. Now, while still tempered with reality, I have more realistic goals, but the completion of these things will have more symbolism to me than the sense of accomplishment. Although that just adds to it. I live for this mental freedom. I love condemning the bars that want to take me over. I love railing against what I know is wrong. I love being able to feel this RIGHT about something I know so little about.

I can't find faith in a God.I can't find faith in any mortal. I find faith in freedom in myself. I find faith in myself.

I've thought about what to put here for some time.

I've thought about how things in the world are just split versions of insanity.

I've thought about how insignificant this little rinky-dink personal web-page is.

I've thought about how the world seems to lack spirit.

I've seen the potential for what could be.

I've seen how you can take a little bit of yourself, and communicate something more to other people. To make people think about something other than themselves for a change.

So I'm hoping that you take a little time off from yourself, open your eyes.

Maybe you should get off the computer.

.this.is.necessary.this.is.necessary.life.feeds.on.life.feeds.on.life.feeds.on.life.feeds.on.life.

All the stuff was compiled and created by me. All pictures used were either taken by me, a family member, or given their proper due somewhere herein. Please do not use my ideas as your own. If you are offended by the content herein, please leave the site. If all you want to do is start a petty bickering match with me, leave the site. If you've been on the internet for more than an hour today, please leave the site, get off the computer, get off your ass, and go outside.