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| Song I'm Listening To: You - Snoop Dog & Lucy Pearl |
| June 16th, 2002 I'm back!!!!! HA HA HA! I'm finally up and running after the world's most stressful move! OMG! So there's a ton of stuff I could bitch about but i'll start with the good shit. First. I'm at a 90lb loss now! OMG! WOOHOO! Tomorrow is my 5 month anniversary and i've lost freaking 90lbs! *shreak* I'm totally in awe and it feels so surreal. Secondly and more importantly (yes, there are more important things than weight loss), my boyfriend purposed! I'm now engaged! I'm very excited and totally happy. Although right now he's being a total pissy dick I love this man with my whole heart. We've worked so hard to make this work for us. It's bumpy at times and never easy.....but it's been the biggest growing experience i've ever been offered. Our date is for April 21st, 2004. I think that's a Saturday but I have yet to truly see a 2004 calendar. Besides the house stress i'm actually pretty happy. We also got a new puppy! Her name is Molly and i'll get pics up soon of her majesty. She's a border collie, black and white. Totally un-Halo like. She listens and is just a lover. Sweetie doggie! What a family I have now. WOOHOO! Now, if the fucking house was finshed. I offically hate painting. I'm SO done with it. I'm waiting for the house to magically finsh painting itself. Aren't I a crackhead? At least it was decent exercise right? HA HA HA! Well......i'll start updating again. I can talk about the friend stuff tomorrow. I can't give it all at once, because i'm a total cocktease! ;) Much love to everyone! *hugs* Later taters! |
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| Song I'm Listening To: 2Wicky - Hooverphonic |
| June 17th, 2002 Hello all! Well it's my official 5 month anniversary today! I did my BMI and i'm now just severely obese. No longer super obese or morbidly obese. Soon i'll just be plain ol obese. How funny that all sounds. I'm pretty excited about all this tho. I'm just kinda in awe over the whole process. I think the weight loss has been amazing in so many different aspects. Mostly it's given me hope and courage. Something I totally lacked going into this whole process. It's given me an outlet to truly be who I am, or the ability to figure that all out. My hair is still falling out, but that's the worst thing that's really happened. I'm even grateful for the depression. To get out of a depression you have to reach to a deep place and decide your worth it as a person to recover and climb back up. It's that climb that tones you and gives you strength. There's so much I never would of known about myself if this surgery never would of happened. It's just so bizzare to know that 5 months ago right now I was just going into recovery. I felt scared and so alone. I questioned my decision. I didn't know my future. Now everything seems to be a bit brighter even on the dark days. I know i'll have bad/sad days but I also have hope which can cure almost anything. So any wedding suggestions would be great! I'm pretty new at all this girl stuff. Please drop me an email! :) Until tomorrow i'll be off and at em! :) Take care all! :) |
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| I like this ring. Click on the ring to take you to the website! :) |
| June 19th, 2002 Hey everyone! I hope everyone is doing well. I've been busy lately. Just still doing house stuff and trying to work on myself. I've let the stress of everything really get me down. I saw my shrink today and that was pretty good. She gave me some good suggestions. I guess with all the change lately I haven't had any time to adjust. Not only the surgery stuff, but the house and the engagement and the doggies. I haven't made any me time. I haven't been meditating which is NEVER a good thing. I just need to get some priorities down and then just let things happen. More personally, I need to stop being so damn hard on myself. Somewhere down the line I picked up a rather nasty "all or nothing" attitude which is really coming back to bite me in the ass. I need to find balance and be happy with the little things (like slow progress). For instance, with the house all I can see is how much still needs to get done. I don't acknowledge all the work that has been done. I get all stressed out because I started to panic and I start feeling overwhelmed. Well ya, you would feel that way if you were trying to tackle the world all at once. She suggested I pick 2 things as priority and "tackle" those things. Of course my mind starts racing about that. What I decided was important to me was the house and me. I need a fun day. I seriously need to get out and have fun for a WHOLE DAY! I'm gonna talk to the fiance and see if we can have a date day. Maybe get down to Monterey or something like that. Go for a nice bike ride and then go play mini golf or something. As for the house, I need to make a list of the stuff that needs to get done. As things get done I check things off so I feel a sense of accomplishment. I can organize the list by most important and then go from there. Sounds simple enough doesn't it? HA! LOL A good friend of mine threw me a little congrats engagement lunch today. That was pretty awesome. We talked about relationships and things of that nature. They said it sounds like I have an amazing man (they all love him anyways- we all worked together) and that we are on the right track. That felt good to hear since I always need reassurance! LOL The friend stuff i'm still sorting out in my head. I feel that because i've changed my friendship needs/wants have changed too. I'm growing apart from old friends which isn't a bad thing, it's just change. Doesn't mean these people aren't near to my heart, but the dynamic has changed. It's life I suppose. Well, i've bored you enough! Have a great day everyone! :) |
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| Song I'm Listening To: 2Wicky - Hooverphonic *i'm hooked on this CD! |
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