| June |
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| Song I'm Listening To: It's a TV day *ugh* |
| June 20th, 2002 I'm a stress basket. I'm pretty useless right now. I hate change. Ugh. I love to bitch, can you tell? My eating has been crap the last three days. Chips, no meals, just snacking. I've been snappy with the boy and he's a stress case. Money Money Money.......if there's so much in the world then why can't I have some? Does Madonna really need millions?!?!?! I'm totally burnt out. I'm almost tempted to drink. The need for escape is THAT bad. UGH! I could use some hugs. I need a job, I need to get back into the world. I need to figure out how I can do what I want to do and make that my living. Until then the bills are piling up and i'll sell my soul to the corporate gods to get a paycheck. My cobra runs out next month. Gee whiz. My state of the nation is fairly poor today. Hopefully a nice nights sleep will do some wonders. Take care everyone! :) |
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| June 21st, 2002 Hey everyone. I'm feeling much better today. I had dinner last night with a friend and it felt SO good to get out of the house. Then we saw the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. GREAT MOVIE! I totally loved it and I was a bit skeptical when I was waiting for the movie to start. So Raphe and I have been snapping at each other for the last 2 weeks. We know it's stress but it doesn't feel any better. I came home last night and Dido was playing in our bedroom, flowers were next to my bed, and I got the following card: Why do I love you so much? Because I trust you more than anyone in the world to listen, to help me though, to remind me how to laugh when times are trying. Why do I love you so much? Because you're a part of my favorite memories as well as my most important dreams. Why do I love you so much? Because I can't imagine what life would be like if I didn't have you to love. Because I can't imagine what life would be like without love, and I can't imagine what love would be like without you. OMG I have the best man on the planet. He finds the most beautiful cards. Today we had a picnic in the park. It was so nice. We ate and laid in the sun cuddled up. It was wonderful. Looks like a nice start to the weekend. I guess theres hope afterall! :) Take care all! Have a happy summer solstice! :) |
| Song I'm Listening To: Barbas - Hooverphonic |
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| I guess there's always was to get over puddles eh? |
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| June 23rd, 2002 Hi all. Well, this weekend has been interesting to say the least. Lots of childhood issues to deal with. Kinda strange the way they've been coming up. I'm trying to deal with them as they pop up. My shrink suggested two books I might have to break down and buy. I have some work to do on myself and although I hate it I want to start on it. So here's a story on the lighter side. Our street has an annual garage sale every year. It was on Saturday. I shower and decide I wanna go check it out even tho we didn't have a sale ourselves. I love garage sales anyway. To me, it's old fashion E-bay. So I find this little white cart thing which is perfect for the kitchen for only $5. I come back and grab the man and the dolly to come cart it back to the house. As we are walking up to the driveway our neighbor next door says (in Russian accent), "Oh you find treasure!" I laugh and tell her yes and that it was perfect...yadda yadda. She laughs and says, "make him carry it back! That's right. You can never say no to pretty wife!" We laughed hysterically! I said, "that's right! You can never say no to pretty wife!" He says, "don't give her any ideas!" It was fun but the really nice thing is that a stranger said I was pretty. I was pretty. Me, the fat one. It tickled me inside and out. She'll never know.......but i'll remember that always. Well, guess I should do something productive or at least watch some educational television! ;) Take care all! :) |
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| Song I'm Listening To: American Dreaming - Dead Can Dance |
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| I should of just ran away to the circus when I was young! ;) LOL |
| June 24th, 2002 Howdy! Short but sweet.......I went to the dr's today and my blood pressure is FINALLY down! It's now 110/60 instead of 140/90. I was so happy. I've waited for it to go down because the high BP was one of my comorbs that scared me into deciding on surgery. It feels sweet! :) I'll update more tomorrow all......til then have a good night! :) |