| June/July |
| Song I'm Listening To: Watching TV, Batman is on baby!!!! :) |
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| June 25th, 2002 Hello everyone. It's damn hot outside. Thank GOD I have AC! Well the good news is that I have a job interview tomorrow, wish me luck! My life is just kinda boring right now. Still filtering stuff and trying to deal with the day. Unpacking and painting......things like that. Nothing too exciting per say. Very excited about the interview tho. I have to shop tonight for an outfit because I have nothing that fits! :) My stepmom and I have been talking a lot and she's been saying the most wonderful things to me. It really means a bunch. I know she reads this so i'll stop here.......but it's really touched me. I've started to feel "normal" within society which is nice. I saw my tax person today and she said I don't look a pound over 200. I told her I loved her! LOL I better jam because I have some BBQ'ing to do! :) Wish me luck! Have a great day all! |
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| Song I'm Listening To: The Magnificent Tree- Hooverphonic |
| June 27th, 2002 Howdy! Well i've been busy the last two days. The interview went really well and I was called back for a second interview today. I find out tomorrow if I got the job. I really love the position and hope I get it. I figure if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. I am wishing the hell out of it tho! :) Never hurts right? :) Other than that.......just doing life stuff. I've lost another pound which brings the total loss to 91lbs. WOOHOO! Halo started puppy training last night. The trainer Trish said, you've got a stubborn dog. Well NO SHIT! :) It's part of his charm. I think he gets it from his mommy! ;) Other than that it's been quiet. Raphe and I are getting along well. My sex drive could use a little "umph", that's my biggest complain for today. Maybe i'll just jump the man when he gets home? LOL I'll go ahead and stop right there before I scare myself. Much love to everyone. Til next time! :) |
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| July 1st, 2002 I've been super busy......oh man. House stuff, what's new? LOL Well, there's much to talk about and nothing. The big thing is that people are really noticing the weight loss. I've now lost 94 pounds and it's really noticeable. I keep hearing about how good I look, etc. The weird thing is that people keep asking me how I feel, I must feel like a different person and all that. The thing is that I don't know how to answer that question any more. I feel like a whole new person and yet, I feel the same. I feel like the person inside of me was let out, and that life and maturity has changed me as well. I feel "normal", but yet i'm angry. I had to lose 94 pounds for my outlook to change on life. It's so weird. People want to know me now, people are nice to me now, sometimes it's a little too much to handle. Like I said, it's weird. I didn't get the job tho. They gave it to an internal person with 15 years of experience. I can't really argue with that. They said they loved me tho and will pass along my resume to any open req's I could fill. The best thing of all is that I honestly feel that my weight was no factor in the decision making process. This time, I wasn't too fat for the job. That was the best thing of all. I'm gonna update my pictures today, so be on the look out. Much love........and have a great day! :) |
| Song I'm Listening To: Never Let Me Down - Depeche Mode |
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| July 2nd, 2002 Holy crap! I had no idea that this page wasn't coming up linked to my journal link on the front page. I've been posting to myself. HA HA HA Thank you Liz for posting in my guestbook and letting me know. I'm a dork! :) Well, i'm off on another busy day. I'll post more later when I have some time. Thanks again all for reading my rants......and all your love in my guestbook. Makes me feel all special and tingly inside! :) Later tater........ |
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| July 3rd, 2002 Hey hey all. Well, i'm starting some little changes in my little journal here. You'll see them, but basically I need more typing space and so i'm shleppin all the cute stuff. ;) So i'm down more poundage, I love starting my period because the weight starts falling off again. I'm now down 95lbs, at 220! Holy crap. This has really hit me. It's like you wait for 100lbs....but losing 95 has been the hitter. 100lbs will come, it's not a thought or dream. I put on a large today and it fit (men's of course!). My fiance said I look really really good. I feel weird. It's like.......I know i've lost this weight but DAMN. I don't feel like i've lost a pound most of the time. The man said people that lose an arm or leg say they can still "feel" it, and I kinda feel that way about the weight. I can still "feel" it. I still think I won't fit (chairs, cars, booths) and when I do i'm amazed. I still need to plan out what i'm doing because I need to know if it's fat friendly. I still live life in many ways like a pre op. When I put on clothes I think that it won't fit or will only fit for a month because I will grow or it will shrink. I'm still in a bunch of pain. Only time will really help I suppose. I've learned that the weight loss doesn't change the hurt, if you haven't dealt with things they'll only pop up. Then again, I no longer have to fear flying (fitting in seats) or doing things with friends (because i'll be too tired, etc). I know that I can get a job now, unlike before where my weight was a factor. It's like it's opened doors, and now my own fears and my own fucked up-ness is what will stop me if I let it. I really tricked myself into thinking this surgery was the answer to the majority of my problems. Don't get me wrong, it's a blessing.......but dealing with the aftermath is hard. Going into it I knew it would be, but that doesn't change the fact that it is. I suppose that's life, always growing and always having new challenges. I sound like a dork. Yes, i'm in one of THOSE moods! ;) Well, dinner is a callin. Tonight's menu is BBQ chicky with garlic mash potatoes and salad. I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th full of pretty fire and tasty grub, great friends and cold drinks ;) Loves....... |