“I think that’s like 20 and that one over there is I think 40 or I’ll make it 50’’ the man who was sitting next to the guy who talked, wrote everything down I was a bit stunned and just stared at the two men who where selling all the stuff of my house, they where checking the value of my furniture so they could pay my debts with the money. I was searching for places where I could stay but I was stuck. I didn’t know much people, I actually didn’t know anyone only me neighbour/ex boyfriend Dean but I didn’t want to stay with him; he dumped me. If that wasn’t enough, my boss fired me and after a while I couldn’t pay my house any more so I started some loans but as the loans got too much I couldn’t pay it back and if that happens they throw you out of your house and sell all your stuff, ‘Wwhat about the guitars?’ the guy asked. No way, not the guitars, I thought those where my live they couldn’t sell those, ‘’Er, I eh borrowed them from Dean, my boyfriend’’ I lied. ‘’I need proof’’ the guy obviously didn’t believe it, luckily the guitars used to be from Dean and his name tag on the guitar bag was still on it. I showed the guy it ‘’Look D-E-A-N, Dean ok the guitars are both from him so you can’t sell them’’ ‘’Sure, it’s a shame, they could make lot of money to pay your bills’’ ‘’Yer I agree, a shame’’ I muttered. I wish I never moved to England, I moved to England to start off a music career but that wasn’t as simple as I thought it would be, I played guitar and had a great voice. At least that was what people said, but I only needed money for the beginning of my career so I had this stupid secretary job and Dean who had his own band and his dad owned a music shop, helped me with my so called starting career. Only it didn’t really work, not fast enough I think. I was afraid the streets would be my home and I had to sleep on a bench or in some shed ‘’Sir can I just stay in my house for one day? I could call my parents then or something. Please just one day’’ I begged. ‘’Nope sorry missy’’ the guy apologised, he took a quick glance at me and raised an eyebrow ‘’you could stay at a cheep youth hostel. You’re young, you’ll fit in well’’ he said serious and went on with pointing at my stuff and naming all kinds of prices. I felt a rage of anger going through my body. I felt so offended, fit in a youth hostel, I only had 50 pounds not more, not even on my account. I was totally broke, I so wanted to hit the guy that didn’t even feel sorry for me. I was going to be a poor homeless girl, how could the guy have the guts to be so rude! I tried to calm down and get myself together. I took a deep breath and collected my stuff. I grabbed two suitcases and threw all my clothes in one and in the other I throwed my frames and little belongings that the guys couldn’t sell, luckily they didn’t notice my laptop I hid it between my clothes. If they had noticed it, they would sell it in their little sell market or whatever, my notebook was very important for me and they couldn’t take it away. I threw my phone and empty wallet in my purse, closed my suitcases and gathered all my stuff ‘’Can I go now?’’ I asked a bit rude. ‘’Sure honey, much luck on the streets and say goodbye to your house’’ ‘’Goodbye’’ I mumbled, I took a last look through my house and walked outside with my two suitcases, two guitars and my purse. I had to drop those stuff somewhere, I knew a place where you could leave your stuff in some locker. I went there and had to pay 25 pounds for one week, that would leave me 25 for some food and I so needed a drink. I went to the nearest pub and ordered two drinks. ‘’Give me two... …something very strong’’ I mumbled at the bartender, I took a seat and stared in my purse. I grabbed my phone; no messages. I wasn’t important anyway. I threw it back in my purse, I think no one would miss me if I got killed by some homeless murderer, I laid my elbows on the bar and let my head rest in my hands. I felt like crying but I had to be strong; I was poor and the streets would be my new home. I had to get used to the fact that I screwed up my live with a little help from others. ‘’Have a hard time?’’ I heard someone say. I looked a side and stared in two sad but curious eyes. ‘’Something like that’’ I mumbled back and laid my head back in my hands. The bartender put two glasses in front of me, he smiled kindly, maybe out of pity? I picked up one glass and drank out of it like I was drinking a coke, the guy next to me lit a cigarette; it annoyed me, I hated people who smoke. Just the way they bring the cigarette to their mouth; so nervous and not in control of themselves. I thought it was sad, maybe I should start smoking I couldn’t control myself either. I grabbed the other glass and took a sip out of it. After a while and like 5 drinks, I felt better already, my head felt light and now I realised how tired I was. I didn’t sleep for days, first because of Dean, after he dumped me I was ruined and cried all night and after that period I couldn’t sleep because I had to worry about my life, the guy who was sitting next to me lit a cigeret every minute. He must feel very sad. Anyway, he didn’t say a thing, he just smoked and he had like 3 drinks as far as I could count because my head wasn’t capeble to count anymore, my feelings got stronger from all the drinks I almost cried thinking of Dean. I really missed him, I was ‘’selfish, not the girl I used to be’’ he told me when he dumped me. ‘’Fine with me’’ I answerd on that. I could still have my selfish self but I obviously lied. Dean was the only one who made my screwed up life better, you might think that I could ask my family. Well, thats drama number two. My parents divorced; my dad ran of with the first girl he saw and my mum was a wreck with a rich boyfriend. I could call her though, but I had lots of fights and she wasn’t really fond of me, when I was young I used to run out lots of times, I wrote lot of lyrics that time and then it hit me I wanted to be in a band and sing. I finished school and decided to move to england and that was a tottaly wrong decision, ‘’I need more’’ i mumbeld to the bartender while holding out my glass ‘’Dont do that girl’’ the guy behind me said and snatched the glass out of my hand ‘’dont mind her’’ he said to the bartender making a gesture that i wasnt really ‘healthy’ in my head ‘’youre too drunk i bet you cant even walk anymore’’ ‘’So? Who cares?’’ I mubled i felt strange, gosh, the drink was a bit too strong i think The guy looked troubled and took a deep breath he trew his cigarette in the ashtray and looked at me, it almost looked like he had the responsibilety over me ‘’Its non of youre business what i do, if i want to drink ill drink you cant stop me’’ i said rude ‘’I just feel sorry for ya, ill get a cab for you, you could go home’’ ‘’I dont have a home’’ i grinned ‘’poor hopeless me is drunk and very homeless the street is my home’’ i muttert and started laughing ‘’You know what i cant leave you here’’ he graphed my purse and my arm ‘’youre coming with me’’ ‘’Let go you creep!’’ I jelled ‘’Sssh shut up im helping you’’ he said when he noticed that people where staring ‘’shes my sister dont mind her’’ he apoligised to the people ‘’I hate you give me my purse’’ i mumbeld and pulled the purse out of his hands i felt a cold breeze against my skin ‘’are we outside?’’ i muttert ‘’Well i guess so’’ charlie mentioned ‘’there is the street, the sky but im not gonna convince you it wont work anyway’’ ‘’I believe you’’ i whispert i was holding my purse tight like there was a forntune innit ‘’You coming?’’ ‘’Where?’’ ‘’My place’’ ‘’I cant walk i mean im a bit dizzy’’ ‘’Just lean on me i live nearby its not that far’’ he put his arm around me and dragged me with him to his house ‘’Just go to sleep girl’’ the guy said he let me into his bedroom i felt like a whore who first needed to be introduced to the bedroom and then to the bed only this guy wasnt interested in my body i shuffeld to the bed and took a seat on it ‘’You can sleep over here i dont mind i cant sleep anyway dont do something stupid just close youre eyes and go to sleep, i think youll manage that youre to tired and drunk too move’’ I took of my shoes and laid them under the bed after that i laid my head on the pillow ‘’Goodnight’’ he whispert and pulled the sheets over me and let it rest on my shoulder, a ray of light was shining trough the closed curtains and fell right into his eyes he had beatiful hazel colourd eyes i couldnt take a total glance on the guy it was too dark i didnt really pay attention to the guys looks at the bar i was to busy with my own problems, i closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep I heard the brown eyed rumbel in a few closets after that he walked away and carefully closed the door Next morning i got blinded by the bright light what came trough the even brighter curtains by the window I had a headeache and was very hungry I didn’t eat last night I think, but the worst thing of all was that i didnt have a clue where a was ‘’Goodmorning’’ a guy said and came into the bedroom, who was he i couldnt really remember what i did yesterday i was still wearing the clothes i wore yesterday ‘’who are you and where am i?’’ ‘’You cant remember you where drunk’’ ‘’Wait a sec we didnt do anything right?’’ ‘’Trust me girl im not like that’’ he gave me a mug with tea ‘’its for youre hang over tea helps’’ he mentioned ‘’Thanx, o wait i remember i feel stupid thinking about it im so sorry i behaved like a…’’ I tried to find a right word while staring in my mug ‘’Like a drunk girl, i Dont mind normelly i wouldnt take drunk homeless girls into my house, so you really dont have a home?’’ ‘’Nope i lost it yesterday i lost everything’’ ‘’Sad story’’ he took a deep breath and took a seat next to me on the bed ‘’I really dont know you maybe youre some pervert or some weirdo or a raper’’ ‘’No im charlie and i have a normal job and i play in a band called busted’’ ‘’Cool wish i had a band’’ i sighed ‘’i only have myself and the guitar’’ ‘’You play guitar?, cool’’ ‘’Yer i thought i could start a career up here form a band but its obviously not working’’ ‘’You can stay here for a few days if you like im almost not home anyway im gonna buy another place’’ he explaint ‘’You looked quit sad yesterday girl problems ?’’ ‘’Yer she dumped me i really need her though maybe you could help me’’ ‘’With what?’’ ‘’Maybe….’’ his eyes lit up and he looked like he had the best idea ever ‘’Maybe what?’’ ‘’You could pretend to be my new girlfriend i have this big party next week and she is there as well i could make her jealous’’ ‘’Thats sad but it could help’’ ’It could so you wanna help you can have the house’’ ‘’This one’’ ‘’Yer i bought it and im going to move into my new one you could pay for it if you have more money’’ ‘’Thats great but i dont believe you, you trust a homeless girl?, just give her your house?’’ ‘’Yer you help me i help you’’ ‘’Great but im not gonna sleep with you or something’’ ‘’No i have to get my old girl back remember’’ ‘’Youre going to make her jealous how what do i have to do that’’ ‘’Just pretend to be my new girl’’ ‘’We have to kiss?’’ ‘’I think so we have to look like a couple’’ ‘’Right at least youre handsome, i wouldnt mind giving you a snog, but nothing more then that right?’’ ‘’Well thanx and no nothing more then that’’ ‘’So i can trust you, i only have to pretend that im your new girl and ill have to find a job to pay for the house right?’’ ‘’Right’’ ‘’I dont believe you i dont have to be your whore or something’’ ‘’No off course not! come on, do i look like a pimp?’’ ‘’No’’ i looked at charlie he was very tall, good build, spiky hair: real dark brown but dyed blond, brushy eyebrows and i already mentiont his beatiful eyes he whore a green shirt on blue stone washed jeans he had a ring on his finger a brown necklace and white socks i tottaly scanned his looks and concluded that he didnt look like a raper a creep or a pervert ‘’you look decent well dressed but you knever know’’ ‘’Im no pimp and i wouldnt let you sleep with me or other people for money’’ ‘’Thats great thanx you have such a big heart’’ i joked ‘’Dont go talking shit ok?’’ ‘’No sorry youre such an asshole but thanks anyway i could kiss you right now but i wont’’ ‘’Good im gonna go get some food ill be back in a few minuts’’ ‘’You really trust me, i wouldnt trust myself’’ i mumbled I looked for some food, i looked in the fridge what a mess he really needs his girl back, i looked in a few closets ‘’mm two different kinda cereal frosties or choco shreddies’’ i havent eat that in ages to exspensive for me i could only buy brown bread, frosties that tasts better, he has enough bowls but they had old cereal innit yuk ill just clean one then after cleaning my bowl i could finnaly make myself some proper breakfast ‘’Im back you didnt steal anything right?’’ charlie said with a smile on his face ‘’I dont think so, i made some breakfast want some toast?’’ ‘’Why not, you did the dishes?’’ he asked when he saw that his bowl collection dissapeard ‘’Eh yeah, you dont mind do you?, maybe you where collecting bugs in those things or something’’ ‘’No i dont mind im just a bit lazy no time to do the dishes, i brought you a newspaper to find a job’’ ‘’ thanx you didnt have to buy it but anyways thanx ill start surching jobs later on then’’ ‘’Thats great, so tell me a bit about yourself’’ ‘’Myself’’ i stared in my cerealbowl, ‘’well im from a stupid little country and i went to the uk to start a band but fist i needed a job right i need money so i took a stupid boring job as a secretary, i also met dean in a pub’’ ‘’Dean?’’ ‘’My ex boyfriend he dumped me a few days ago, but anyway after a while the boss starts hating me or something and fires me so i have no boyfriend no job and after a while i couldnt affort my own home so i lost my house and my music career sucks i couldnt find people for a band and i dont wanna start one with only me innit’’ ‘’Right ill help you with that i play in a band called busted where on the point of getting famous’’ ‘’You are?? Thats so great! So im with the famous charlie busted not that i know ya but cool’’ ‘’Thanx’’ ‘’I really want to hear youre music once, what do you play?’’ ‘’Drums as you can see’’ he looked at the drums in the back of the livingroom ‘’and i play guitar’’ ‘’Cool i also play guitar, you know i havent got this great breakfast in ages it tasts great’’ ‘’Well you made it yourself and its just toast with cereal’’ ‘’Yeah i know but still i only ate this weird kinda cheap bread its disgusting, you have a shower right?’’ ‘’No i don’t’’ he said on a semi serious tone ‘’off course its over there’’ ‘’Thanx ill go make myself proper then’’ i said and headed to the shower Damn i forget my clothes i didnt have anything only my old clothes i wraphed a towel round my body picked up my clothes and walked into the livingroom ‘’eh charlie’’ ‘’Mateage you already have a new girl’’ another guy said when i walked inside ‘’Uh yer this is…….’’ ‘’Soraya’’ i helped him ‘’charlie i have to get my clothes somewhere i left them yesterday’’ ‘’Yer ok ill bring you there’’ he stuttert ‘’Cool ill go and dress’’ i mumbeld and walked to the bedroom ‘’Mate youre like single for a day and you already have a girl in your house only wearing a towel so that means she stayed over and you forgot her name kinky mate’’ i heard the guy say ‘’Yer right i knew her name ok’, shes just someone i met we didnt do anything what you think…not yet’’ charlie mumbeld ‘’Yer right mate if i had her in my house with only wearing that you would know i have did tottaly different things if you know what i mean’’ ‘’Guys!’’ i took a deep breath where did i get myself into i graphed my old clothes and got dressed i really felt dirty in those clothes dunno why but i really felt like a homeless person i made a simple ponytail from my hair and walked into the livingroom the other guy was still sitting in the livingroom he was eating some chips and was staring at me like i was kind of thing ‘’ how did you two meet?’’ He asked while whiping his hands on his trousers ‘’At a pub’’ charlie explaint he put his arm across my back and let it rest on my hip ‘’You just met each other right?’’ ‘’Yer just yesterday’’ ‘’And youre already living in his house?’’ ‘’My house is a bit messy they are rebuilding it so charlie offert me to stay at his place’’ i lied ‘’Cool’’ matt said while staring in his chipsbag ‘’i didnt know youre so fast over sanne’’ ‘’If you meet someone like soraya youre over erveryone in a sec’’ he made up ‘’whats youre name by the way?’’ I asked to change the relationship change subject ‘’Matt im one of charlies mates i play in the same band’’ ‘’Busted right?, cool he told me about it i would like to hear you guys play once’’ ‘’We have a cd you could listen if you want to’’ ‘’Cool id love to’’ ‘’Mateage ill see you later’’ matt sighed and draged himself out of the sofa to the door ‘’nice meeting you…’’ ‘’Soraya’’ i added again what was with the age after the word mate i wonderd ‘’Soraya right!, i have the same problems as charlie’’ he teased and looked at charlie, charlie gave matt a angry look ‘’Ill see ya mateage, tonight right?’’ ‘’Tonight, take youre girl with you where rehearsing she could come and im sure the guys would like to see youre new girl’’ matt grinned ‘’I will if she wants to’’ he looked at me ‘’Why not’’ i answerd short i noticed that matt was teasing charlie ‘’Matts not always like that hes just suprised seeing you, hes like jealous i think charlie mentioned where did you wanna go again?’’ ‘’Some store where i can pick up my stuff wait’’ i graphed my bag ‘’i have this reciet or note whatever’’ i mumbled ‘’here it is’’ i gave it to him ‘’I know the place lets go’’ he said he picked up his keys and his jacket ‘’O my god this is youre car?!’’ I stared at a dark blue porsche and almost drooled ‘’It is i bought it from my first ‘band’ money isnt it cool?’’ ‘’It is!, WOW a Porsche!’’ ‘’Yer a porsche’’ charlie repeated ‘’you could stay in front of it all day but if you want to pic up youre stuff id suggest that you should get in’’ ’You sure have lots of lugage’’ charlie mentiont while carrying my two suitcases ‘’Its my house remember its all i have’’ i put my stuf in the middle of charlies livingroom ‘’So this is all; two suitcases one bag and two guitars’’ charlie stared at the stuff ‘’Yer this is my home’’, i grinned ‘’ill have to live in the suitcases’’ i opent one suitcase and stared at all of my belongings Charlie took a seat next to me on the ground and looked with me ‘’may I’’ charlie asked ‘’Sure’’ i mumbled he picked up the frames ‘’youre boyfriend?, I mean the guy on the picture’’ he showed me the frame it had a pic of me and dean innit ‘’Ex boyfriend’’ i improved i moved away some stuff and picked up my laptop ‘’i hope it isnt damaged’’ i muttert and opent the thing ‘’I thought you where poor’’ charlie said while staring at my ‘pride’ ‘’I uh kinda stole it well i mean it was mine but i should have let those people sell it but i hid it from them’’ ‘’Its that important, youre a material girl?’’ ‘’Not really, all my lyrics and other work are on this thing and if they took it it would all be gone they cant take it away from me, i saved it from the bad guys’’ ‘’Right you should show me the lyrics once im curious’’ ‘’Ill show ya once, i lied about the guitars too they wanted to sell it, i told them those where deans’’ ‘’So youre a liar’’ charlie grinned he put back the frames and looked at me ‘’I lied because those things mean a lot to me you would have done the same’’ ‘’Think so sorry then, but you have two guitars’’ ‘’One acoustic one electric i got them from dean his dad works at a music store dean could get the guitars for a nice price but i cant play the electric they selled the plugs and stuff’’ ‘’Ow i have enough stuff for the guitar youre a good guitar player?’’ He asked and picked up my guitar ‘’Kinda, think so, where do i sleep tonight excually? I thought it was really kind that i could sleep in youre bed last night but you could have let me sleep on the sofa i was drunk and homeless i wouldnt mind’’ ‘’I wasnt in the mood to sleep my girl just broke up with me and i was just feeling miserable on the sofa i didnt mind letting you sleep in my bed, i think i have some camping bed for you we could build something’’ he laughed ‘’one problem dunno if ya mind you have to sleep in my room because the other room is full with boxes as i said im going to move and i dont like people sleeping in my living room’’ ‘’I dont mind, you snore?’’ ‘’Not really i talk in my sleep though’’ he mentioned ‘’Ok i wont mind i think ill listen to youre stories’’ i looked into my suitcase and picked up my plush dog i had it since i was just little and it was my mascott charlie looked at me like i was kind of baby ‘’You still have a teddy?’’ ‘’Yer and by the way its no teddy its a dog! Its my mascott i always wanted a real dog but never had one, but i was happy with the plush-stuffed-with-wool-not-saying-anything-dog’’ ‘’Thats sweet’’ charlie said while laying back the frames ‘’You never had a favorite plush animal?’’ I asked curious ‘’I used to have this teddy i called him growler’’ he explaint ‘’Growler thats funny, you trew it away?’’ ‘’I dunno maybe the thing still somewhere in a shed at my parents place, coffee?’’ ‘’Sure’’ i trew my dog back in my suitcase and picked up the frame that charlie just laid back i stared at dean he looked so sweet ‘’sucker’’ i mumbeld and trew it back in my suitcase ‘’Whos a sucker?’’ charlie asked from out of the kitchen ‘’Dean’’ i jelled back ‘’i hate him by the way you still havent showed me your first busted cd i wanna listen’’ ‘’Ill get it for ya’’ he gave me the cup of coffee and put his mug on the table he walked to his stereo installation and graphed one cd out of the pile ‘’here catch’’ he trew the cd at me I looked at the front ‘’busted’’ i read aloud and stared at the pic ‘’thats te guy from this morning matt right?, and thats you and this is…’’ i stared at a blond guy he looked a bit like a surfdude ‘’James’’ charlie mentiont he took a sip of his coffee ‘’James’’ i repeated ‘’matt charlie and james never heard of busted but you guys look cool, lets see if my discman still works’’ i pulled the cd out of the box and put it in my cd player, i put on my headphone and started listening cool half poppy punk almost rock you couldnt really name it but it was great after a few songs i jumped out of the sofa ‘’this one is great!’’ ‘’Which one?’’ ‘’Uh’’ i looked at my display from my discman ‘’number 11…what i feel you feel inside when the day turns into night’’ i sang with the cd ‘’its so fab you guys wrote all the songs yourself made all the music im gonna be a fan’’ ‘’Cool and thanx’’ charlie muttert ‘’just listen to the cd for a while and tell me whats your fave song’’ ‘’I think this is my fave song’’ i said while still listening to one of the earphones ‘’i just get the shivers from it, its so beatiful which one is your voice?, o wait let me guess’’ i tried to listen a little better ‘’i think youre singing the first part?? Am i right?’’ ‘’Yup tottaly’’ ‘’You have a great voice! Im gonna listen this cd lots of times, so are james and matt single lads or do they have girlfriends?’’ ‘’Matt is single and james is with Dee his childhood love youll see her tonight, Dee and james are like glued to each other always together’’ ‘’Thats sweet id love to meet those people i dunno many people up here only you and dean and my ex boss and a few of deans mates, i wasnt really the social type’’ In the evening we went to charlies rehearsels it was in some little venue charlie said that they always rehearsed there and went on with rehearsing at his place that would mean that his house would be full tonight i was a bit exited meeting new people i saw matt but i didnt know james and dee, maybe they didnt like me at all when we came in i saw matt sitting in the back of the venue near the stage as we came closer i saw james and i assumed dee in the corner james was holding a notebook and dee was playing with the stirrer in her glas ‘’Hey guys’’ charlie said and everyone looked up, 2 pair of very curious eyes where looking at me and i felt a bit insecure ‘’You didnt met my new girl yet’’ charlie said he put his arm behind my back and let it rest on my hip he slowly pulled me a bit closer to him so we looked like a happy new couple ‘’You must be soraya’’ the girl who i think was dee stood up and put out her hand ‘’im dee’’ she said she smiled kind i put my hand in hers ‘’yep im soraya’’ i mentioned ‘’Matt told me, he cant keep stories for himself but anyway cool meeting you’’ james laughed looked at me and waved ‘’im james’’ he said and put his concentration back on the paper ‘’You cant get james out of his concentration’’ dee explaint ‘’hes writing a song’’ ‘’Cool i also write songs’’ i mentioned ‘’Thats cool come sit down and tell me about yourself’’ dee made a gesture to the empty seat next to her i took the seat and looked at the very interested girl ‘’So youre really musical? You can play instruments im really crap in those things so i admirer people who play those things’’ she said she talked kinda fast ‘’I play guitar and just write songs thats all but its not that hard to play i think i could learn you once’’ ‘’Dont begin on that’’ james mentioned ‘’you really cant teach her anything’’ ‘’Why not?’’ dee said insulted ‘’just because you dont have the patience to sit down and calmly teach me how to play the guitar but anyway’’ she changed her angry gaze into a kind one ‘’tell me if i talk to much ill shut up’’ ‘’No i dont mind at all i talk much too’’ ‘’Ok guys’’ james said he trew the paper and pen onto the table and stood up ‘’lets rehears’’ ‘’Wait first i wanna hear soraya play’’ matt asked ‘’lets test your girlfriend charlie’’ matt said ‘’Come on give her a break’’ charlie said ‘’Im just curious’’ matt gave me a guitar ‘’Well ill have to play then’’ i took a deap breath, I wasn’t afraid for the challenge ‘’You dont have to’’ charlie insisted like he didnt wanna hear me play and sing ‘’I dont mind i wont do one of my songs though’’ ‘’Dont mind just play something’’ matt insisted ‘’Ill play ’fall at youre feet’ from crowded house im just gonna play the first part’’ i put my fingers on the right guitarstrings and made my own countdown in my head so i could start of right i started playing and sang the first limes of the song: I’m really close tonight i feel like i been moving inside her im lying in the dark i think that im beginning to know her, let it go ill be there when you call Whenever i fall at your feet and let youre tears rain down on me Whenever i touch your slow turning pain Youre hiding for me know theres something in the way that your talking and words dont sound right i hear them all moving inside you, go ill be waiting when you call Whenever i fall at your feet you let your tears rain down on me.. i stopped playing ‘’this is all i dont know the lines that well’’ i looked around me no one was saying anything they just stared ‘’was it that bad?’’ ‘’No way im stunned it was great’’ dee mentioned ‘’Youre really good i didnt thought you could do it’’ matt said moved by my little performance ‘’I didnt really know all the lines that well but i like playing the song’’ i gave the guitar back to matt ‘’Wow chaz you found a girl with guitar skills’’ james said ‘’im impressed girl id love to hear youre own songs’’ ‘’Cool that you all like it but know i wanna hear you guys rehears’’ it felt really good that people liked the way i played guitar and sing, matt james and charlie walked of to the stage and plugged theire guitars Charlie looked at me and smiled I think he gave me a hint that I impressed his mates ’ok where gonna start of with……’’ charlie looked at james ‘’Sleeping with the lights on, i thought we could do that song second on tour’’ ‘’Ok’’ charlie answered ‘’ready?, 1 2 3 4’’ charlie counted and started playing at 4 ‘’You heard their music?’’ Dee asked ‘’Yer i heard the cd i love the music especially; when the day turns into night, whats youre fave?’’ I asked ‘’Loser kid i like the song but i think i love all, cool that you came round sanne was always too busy now i finally have someone to talk to while the lads are playing’’ ‘’Sanne is charlies ex girlfriend right?’’ i had to ask i heard the name i think twice today so i assumed that sanne was the girl of Charlie’s life ‘’Yer she was a nice girl till she dumped him for a stupid reason but lets not talk about that youre his new girlfriend, so tell me how you met’’ I really wanted to know more about sanne i was faking the whole girlfriend thing for her charlie havent showed me a pick yet he didnt even mention her name, I started off with a stupid ‘how I and Charlie met’ story I all lied but dee was very interested ‘’So dee whats your talent or hobby?’’ I asked after a while she kept asking me questions and know I thought it was my turn to ask, I was kinda curious she had a perfect life she told me already about her perfect boyfriend; james her perfect job; she had a big advocatencantoor of her own I had to admit I was a bit jealous of those perfect life stories she told me ‘’I like writing I wrote one book but it isn’t published yet, im quit busy with my second I wrote little stories first but I didn’t plan it to become that big so I decided to make a book I have a big fantasy’’ she explaint, her life was already fantastic and then she came up with more success stories I wish my life was like that ‘’Cool I write too only little stories and those stories become songs’’ ‘’That’s funny its really cool you should play the songs once I really wanna hear more, you have a great talent, you want something to drink by the way sorry I didn’t ask before’’ she took two plastic cups and put them on the table, I had to say yes now I thought ‘’sure’’ I mumbled I almost took over Charlie’s way of talking, Charlie didn’t talk he mumbled I noticed that from the beginning I met him when Charlie talked you had to make effort to understand what he was saying I think it was because of his very deep voice, dee took a bottle of coke and filled the glasses ‘’here ya go’’ she gave me one of the glasses ‘’hey hear its loser kid’’ she said when she heard the intro of the song going trough the venue ‘’Yer I know I like the song they did before this one it was like meet you there or something I didn’t hear that one on the album’’ ‘’No its going to be on the new one’, the second one’’ she improved Charlie walked to our table ‘’hey girls looks like you two get along quit well’’ ‘’Yer you should take her with you more often so we could chat, if you want to’’ she looked at me ‘’Sure why not’’ I mutter I liked talking to people I looked at Charlie and noticed that he was staring at my drink he looked exhausted from the rehearsal ‘’want a sipp?’’ I asked and hold out my drink ‘’Yer thanx you read minds?’’ he laughed he took over the glass ‘’Where finished up here I think’’ james said he took a place next to dee and kissed her ‘’chaz we could go further at ya place right?’’ ‘’Off course’’ Charlie mumbled on his way ‘’Lets go’’ matt said he put his bass down and threw a plectrum on the table he stretched his arms ‘’I think ill be going to, james you go take a shower she laid her hand on his cheek and looked disgusted ‘’youre so sweaty’’ she gave him a kiss and stood up ‘’soraya nice meeting you hope youll come next time and guys see ya’’ she waved, picked up her purse and walked away After james matt and Charlie packed their stuff we all went back to charlies place and the guys went further with jamming and rehearsing I liked the musical company I really started to love their music, i was planning job auditions for the coming week I had to find a job and get my life back on track, after hanging over the newspaper and calling several people I went back to the living room (I was in charlies room) where the guys where rehearsing or lets say making some tunes while listening to music and making jokes I was in a real ice cream mood so I thought id ask Charlie if he had some, ‘’hey Charlie I need ice-cream’’ Charlie looked up ‘’need?’’ ‘’Well uh im in a ice cream mood you have ice cream?’’ ‘’Ice-cream mood’’ he repeated james Charlie and matt where all looking at me surprised ‘’Ice-cream mood is like when you feel sad you eat chocolate or brownie ice cream and when youre happy you eat fruit flavoured ice cream, when youre bored you eat ice-cream with little pieces of chocolate or caramel or something like that, I know it sounds weird you never heard of it?’’ ‘’Nah is that a girl thing?’’ ‘’I dunno I think guys eat ice cream too’’ I mumbled ‘’but they eat it always without a reason they don’t need a mood I think but anywayz you have chocolate ice cream?’’ ‘’You feel sad?’’ He asked ‘’No im just into chocolate right now’’ Charlie took a deep breath right ‘’youre nuts honey in a positive way’’ he laughed ‘’look in the fridge’’ ‘’Cool you guys can go on with what you where doing im not interesting’’ I mumbled when I saw the guys were still looking at me ‘’Course but you could make us some ice cream too’’ matt laughed ‘’you guys want some?’’ matt asked to Charlie and james ‘’Why not’’ they both mumbled ‘’Ill help ya girl’’ matt said he stood up and walked with me to the kitchen After all having our ice-cream mood I asked Charlie where I could sleep I didn’t ask it with everyone around him because matt and james didn’t have to know all ‘’I told you I had a camping bed but im a bit busy, you could sleep in my bed its big enough for the two of us if you don’t mind the guys will be staying over tonight I think so the sofa’s are taken’’ he laughed ‘’you trust me right’’ ‘’i trust you I don’t mind sleeping next to you, but if you don’t mind im gonna sleep im tired’’. In the middle of the night I noticed that Charlie was laying next to me I didn’t notice him coming into the bed he laid pretty close, the covers half over him he looked pretty sweet but almost everyone looks sweet when their asleep, it was pretty hot in the room and I was a bit thirsty so I carefully got out of bed and walked to the kitchen ‘’What ya doing?’’ I heard someone say I turned round and saw james he was laying on the sofa in the corner matt was laying on the other but you couldn’t really see him he had the sheets pulled over his face, james two curious eyes where shiny in the dark there was only one little light on but I didn’t give enough light to light the entire room ‘’James you scared me, what are you doing still up?’’ ‘’Writing songs, making notes I almost never sleep before 5 o’clock and whats your reason?’’ ‘’Im thirsty’’ I opent the fridge ‘’you want something to drink?’’ ‘’Nah I still have some’’ he showed me his glass ‘’Owkay’’ I mumbled and took a pak of milk out of the fridge and filled my glass after that I went back to the bedroom ‘’good night james’’ I whispert ‘’Night’’ he mumbled back ‘’Where were you?’’ Charlie asked ‘’What is this no one sleeps in this house?’’ ‘’Don’t think so I just wondered where you where, maybe you where stealing something’’ he grinned ‘’Yer I stole some milk’’ I laughed and came back into bed ‘’Ok good night girl’’ he said and closed his eyes ‘’Goodnight Charlie’’ I mumbled and carefully pulled the sheet over me The next week I had several meetings with different firms for jobs at the end of the week I felt hopeless and sad ‘’I need chocolate ice cream a lot, a whole pile’’ i said when i came in, i threw my purse somewhere in the living room and jumped on to the sofa ‘’You feel sad right?’’ ‘’Very, im gonna eat myself sick and then throw up that sad i feel im useless’’ ‘’Come on it cant be that bad ill put some ice-cream in a bowl for ya but not a pile i dont want you to get sick’’ ‘’Its bad, im like not needed im garbage 5 job auditions i did this week and i didnt get one! ; you dont have any experience, sorry your not what we are looking for, that’s al they said and i could go home again i will never find a job’’ ‘’Here is your ice cream’’ charlie gave me te bowl i picked up the spoon and sticked it into the ice-cream charlie took a seat next to me ‘’its gonna work youll get a job’’ ‘’I wont, i feel so crap’’ i felt a few tears burning in my eyes i promised my self the whole time not to cry i was strong i could handle it at least thats what i thought i started crying ‘’Come on girl dont cry i hate it when people cry’’ charlie put his arm around me a pushed me closer against him ‘’youll get a job you know what, i saw something very cool in the paper a job in a record company youre gonna audition for that and if they dont want you ill go to them personally and kick in their teeth, they would have to hire you but i know those people and im so sure they will hire you’’ ‘’You promise me, im not gonna look like an complete idiot’’ again i muttert trough my tears ‘’No and you never look like a complete idiot only one thing we’ll have to make a appointment this afternoon because the job is kinda populair but youre gonna get that job ok?’’ he looked into my tearfull eyes and whiped my tears away with his fingers ‘’Ok’’ i mumbled and smiled ‘’thanx’’ ‘’For what?’’ ‘’For being so sweet i mean you help me and im not even family from you thanx so much’’ i gave him a big hug i almost broke his ribs ‘’You can let me go know i cant breath’’ charlie squeaked ‘’Ow sorry’’ i laughed and let go of him ‘’Now go eat youre ice cream and call the company here is the phone and here is the number’’ he gave me a piece of paper and the phone ‘’Ok ill call, want a bite?’’ I almost sticked the spoon in Charlie’s face he took a bite ‘’Good boy’’ i laughed ‘’by the way i love the smell of your after shave or perfume whats the name of it?’’ ‘’Uh aqua di gio from georgio armani’’ ‘’It smells great, can i smell again i know it sounds weird but i love it when guys have a scent’’ charlie nodded his head i laid my head on his chest ‘’it really smells great it fits you’’ ‘’What fits me’’ ’The perfume i know i look like some weird perfume seller i used to be one, i lied to people i said things like it really fits you’, its smells great while it smelled like some toilet soap but i love this one i mean yours’’ ‘’Right’’ charlie looked surprised ‘’did dean smell great too?’’ ‘’Yer but i like yours better dean’s was sporty i think he had hugo or something yours is classy it fits you but ill leave youre chest alone know’’ i laughed ‘’you might think you took a crazy girl into youre home’’ ‘’Well i dont mind i needed a crazy type up here anyway’’ Next day I was really nervous this was my last hope well actually it wasnt but i put all my hope in this job because i wanted it so bad, work at a studio/record company would bring me very close to the musicbizz, I looked into the mirror I stared at the reflection of myself checking if I looked good to impress the people up there I worn my black trousers with a nice decent top above it I also put on my best silver earrings and my necklace I once got from my dad as a present I hoped it would bring me luck, a quick powder on the face and I was ready to go to my appointment, ‘’you look classy’’ Charlie mentioned he looked at me and raised an eyebrow ‘’youre going to impress the boss of the firm?’’ ‘’I hope so I really want the job’’ I said exited ‘’do I look right not too much?’’ I asked while putting on my shoes ‘’Gorgeous’’ Charlie said with an exaggeratedly posh accent, ‘’ill come round when the meeting is over I wanna know if you got the job im near by so’’ ‘’Thanx that’s cool’’ I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror for the last time gosh I was overreacting it was just a stupid job audition ‘’Im sure youll get the job’’ Charlie said he laid his hand on my shoulder ‘’I hope so’’ I mutterd ‘’anywayz bye wish me luck’’ I said fast and gave Charlie a hug ‘’You don’t need it but good luck anyway’’ Charlie wanted to bring me to the job audition but I really wanted to walk I was kinda nervous and I hoped that would go way with all the fresh air When I arrived at the studio I asked where I had to go the building was quit big and I already had the feeling I was lost, when I came in I walked to the first desk I saw, the woman behind the desk was talking to someone on the phone in some posh business language, she really looked posh too; bright red lipstick that made her pale skin even paler and she worn a black suit jacket with a silk top under it and her hair in a perfect knot, she had long red fake nails and while talking on the phone she stared proud at the nails as it where her natural nails, she hung up the phone with a friendly greet and looked at me ‘’good morning can I help you?’’ she asked and studied my style of clothing she smiled and I think that meant that I fitted in the posh category, ‘’good morning I had a appointment with the boss from this place’’, I could so slap myself I totally forgot ‘the boss’ his name ‘’Mr Judd you mean’’ she mentioned ‘’if you walk further in the back there’s a room his name tag is on the door you cant miss it’’ she smiled again ‘’Thanx I guess ill find it’’ I mumbled and made my way to Mr Judd’s office the floor was quit slippery I guess they just cleaned it and I had to do my best not to fall with my high heels, when I arrived at the office I quickly rearranged my hair, put my jacket right and took a deep breath I laid my hand on the door handle maybe I could run away I wasn’t in his office yet I thought ,no way I had to get this job I said to myself I opent the door, damn forgot to knock where are my manners!, I thought ‘’sorry forget to knock’’ I stuttered when I came in I looked at a quit young actually very young (like my age) guy he didn’t look like a big business guy at all, he worn baggy black jeans and a funny print t shirt his hair was spiky with blond high lights, he was sitting on the ‘relaxing’ chair with his feet on the desk ‘’sorry’’ he apologised when he saw me looking at the way he was sitting he stood up and reached out his hand ‘’im Harry Judd not the mr Judd but one’’ he smiled and bared his white teeth ‘’Im Soraya Heppener’’ I said and shook his hand ‘’Cool name not from here right?’’ ‘’No im not from here but I live her though for a jear’’ I took a quick glance of the office lots of book shelves with books and piles of paper work on the desk stood a picture with I guess mr Judd and Harry on it, father and son I thought ‘’Cool normally my dad does this job audition things but he isn’t here at the moment he asked me to take over, actually im in a band my dad is my manager that’s pretty annoying but anyway you have experience?’’ Harry looked like a very nice guy, he wasn’t a stiff posh person although his way of talking was posh just like Charlie, maybe they went to the same school I wondered, he looked handsome I almost drowned in his amazingly beautiful blue eyes, did he have a girlfriend?, I almost forgot it wasn’t the time to drool at the guy I had to get a job at least that’s what I came here for so I answered his question, ‘’well this is a bit of an administration job right and I used to be a secretary, I also worked as a perfume seller or something’’, I wasn’t good in talking posh at all, ‘’id like to work here because I love music and everything that has to do with music, I also play instruments guitar ecually and I write songs so I know lots about music, and my ex boyfriend played in a band and he teached me lots of musicbizz things’’, was I talking to much? I wondered ‘’That’s cool, you know like music history stuff about the legends, influence things my dad asked me to ask those things so don’t go thinking I made my own questions’’ ‘’Yer I think so my dad always bothered me with his huge collection of cds from jazz to metal, he always had lots of lectures about it but because of that I know lots about music and different styles’’ I explaint ‘’That’s great, youre a nice girl, talk lots but I don’t mind we need someone like you up here to un bore the people’’ he laughed Damn I talked to much but I impressed him, ‘’I always talk lots when im nervous and uh when im not nervous’’ I added ‘’I think you’re hired just fill in the form and bring it with you tomorrow’’ ‘’What form?’’ I asked ‘’The one right under your nose on the desk’’ he smiled ‘’you didn’t notice it, too busy talking but anyway welcome, ill get someone to show you around id love to do it but I have to rehears’’ I felt so happy I got the job I really wanted to jump around but controlled myself, Harry could always fire me right away, ‘’whats the name of youre band?’’ I thought it was cool, he was cute and played in a band ‘’Mcfly you can come round anytime to see us rehears’’ he walked with me to an other office where lots of people where typing and calling behind their computers ‘’hey anne’’ harry jelled he waved at a girl, the girl noticed Harry and walked into our direction ‘’hey anne this is going to be your new colleague soraya’’ he introduced me ‘’Cool hi im anne marie but almost everyone calls me am but obviously harry isn’t’’ she tucked a loos piece of hair behind her ear ‘’ill show you around then’’ she said and we started our tour trough the office halfway trough we bumped into Harry and his band at least I think it was his band a few spiky haired guys where gathered next to harry ‘’Soraya meet the mcfly guys, you already know harry those are tom dougie and danny hes my guy’’ she said with a big smile danny wrapped his arms around Am and kissed her ‘’Soraya is gonna work here’’ she mentioned ‘’Cool’’ the blond guy named dougie said ‘’Ill be here all day and bore these people with lots of talks and questions’’ I added to prepare the guys ‘’She talks a lot but shes nice’’ harry chuckled you can start tomorrow bring the form with ya o and you start at 8 don’t forget’’ ‘’I wont’’ I mumbled 8 o clock, that was a long time ago I had to get up that early ‘’I need to get some stuff wanna come with me?’’ am asked when she made herself to let go off danny ‘’Sure why not’’, I replied i didn’t have anything else to do so ‘’Cool just a sec’’ she ran to the back of the office and came back with her jacket and purse ‘’cant go without money right?’’ she smiled ‘’Right’’ I mumbled I didn’t have any money I thought ’Look its Charlie’s car’’ i said when i saw Charlie’s Porsche parked in front of the office ‘’Hey girl I came by to ask if ya got the job, and?’’ He asked ‘’I got it!’’ I said happy ‘’Cool I told you, you would get a job’’ he gave me a hug and pushed his soft lips against mine, am wasn’t saying a thing not even hi, ‘’o sorry, Charlie this is am my new colleague am , am this is Charlie’’ I introduced them to each other, ‘’hi’’ am squeaked shy, she stared at Charlie ‘’Hey am cool to meet ya, but honey I cant stay gotta go back to the studio’’ Charlie give me a little kiss on my cheek and opent the door of his car ‘’see ya am’’ he said and jumped in Am just waved and stared, I thought it was kinda weird faking a relationship doing all snuggled up while it doesn’t mean a thing ‘’Gosh I blew my meeting with Charlie busted’’ am sighed still a bit absent ‘’I so love their music’’ she mumbled ‘’was he you’re boyfriend?’’ she looked at me like I was some superstar ‘’Er something like that’’ I muttert ‘’I mean I am yes’’ I said clear I wanted to say no but I remembert to play the game, I so wanted to tell the truth to someone im not the girl that keeps everything for herself ‘’Cool’’ I mean ‘’its nice soon youre gonna think I like you because youre Charlie’s girlfriend’’ she explaint ‘’but you act so calm youre with Charlie busted wow’’ ‘’I know’’, I didn’t know what was so exited Charlie was just a normal person to me a guy with good and bad habits, I didn’t realise the exact fame of the lads I only heard the album, ‘’Charlie is just a normal guy though’’ I mumbled ‘’I know sorry, but have you met matt?’’ She asked with big curious eyes ‘’Yer I met him’’ ‘’So cool, but when you met Charlie did you know he was the Charlie?’’ I knew it next morning I thought, ‘’no, I just live here for a jear and…’’. I stopped my sentence I couldn’t tell her Charlie picked me up from the streets when I was totally drunk and miserable maybe shell go to the press, ‘’I didn’t have a tv or radio, and I was to busy working and my ex boyfriend and his music’’ I added ‘’Ow right’’ am muttert ‘’but what is matt like?’’ She asked even more curious she looked like an 11 jear old fan trying to pluck info out of everyone who had something to do with the lads. ‘’Hes nice, im hungry buy the way’’ I changed the subject I decided to shut my mouth about the little matt tales, I didn’t eat all day because I was nervous and my stomach felt so empty ‘’ I know a nice place where they have the best sandwiches ever we could go there, but tell me about matt’’ I didn’t know if I was allowed to tell inside stuff about them I saw matt almost every single day hanging round Charlie’s place playing his bass eating kellogs like it where potato chips, james was nuts he really wasn’t lieing about the fact that he wrote songs all night with his notes in his hands pen in his mouth mumbling things and then wrote it down and then at 5 went to sleep till midday, Charlie was a bit moody sometimes and at night I got bedtime stories he talked in his sleep it was quit funny to hear but it got a bit annoying because I couldn’t sleep anymore, ‘’well eh am id love to talk about matt’’ I laughed ‘’but I don’t know if hell like it because well you know hes famous and I know the inside stuff’’ ‘’O god I fully understand im not from the press or something sorry, ill shut up then lets go eat im kinda hungry too’’ ’Here it is’’ we stopped at some lunchroom, kinda restaurant or a mix of both the sign was funny with a roll who was smiling i laughed when i saw the picture we went inside and took a seat at the back of the restaurant ‘’hey dave im back again’’ am waived at a waiter and he smiled ‘’I come here a lot I mean every day so I know everyone up here its like my family’’ she explained, she took of her jacket and picked up the menu ‘’I think I already know’’ she gave me the menu ‘’you have to take this one with the salad its really tasty I take it almost every time’’, ‘’mm ill first look what they all have’’ I mumbled while staring at the bright coloured menu,rolls with chees, French bread, cheddar chees bagel, greek sandwich when I saw the pics of all that food had the urge to eat the menu ‘’ill take the same as you then youre a pro in picking food up here ’’ I laughed and put the menu back in the little standard am made a gesture to dave and he came to our table ‘’Hello my dear’’ he said on a funny tone, ‘’let me guess same as yesterday?’’ he laughed ‘’Yer one for my new friend too her name is soraya, soraya this is dave’’, dave put out his hand ‘’nice to meet you’’ he said kind and we shaked hands ‘’you girls want something to drink?’’ ‘’You have ice tea?’’ ‘’Course’’ dave wrote it down on his paper ‘’and Am wants a coke am I right?’’ he looked at am ‘’Course dear’’ she laughed and Dave walked away after writing it all down’, it really looked like they where some couple it was quit fun, ‘’I think this restaurant will loose lots of money if I don’t come here anymore, they earn all the money because of me’’ she chuckled but tell me how did you and Charlie meet I mean on tour or something?’’ ‘’No just uh’’ I tried to make up a perfect story, ‘’I wasn’t a fan but I already told you that I just met him…..’’ where, where my ideas I was trying to get some nice lie but in short time it was hard to find one, ‘’at a gig from some weird band and we started talking and you know how it goes’’ ‘’Cool and you really didn’t know he was a bit famous?’’ She leaned with her elbows on the table and listened very interested ‘’No I didn’t know busted but how did you meet danny’’ I asked to pass the question back ‘’Well at the office from the first day I met him..’’ she smiled while telling her story she lifted a piece of curly salad with her fork and stared at it like there was a snake in her food I was in luve it sounds really cheesy but anyway he wasn’t interested in me first but after a while of bugging I broke trough to him’’ ‘’Cool story’’ I mumbled I took a bite of my loaf or sandwich only I was a bit clumsy in eating things proper and almost the whole content fell back on my plate I sighed and tried to put it back Am was staring at me surprised ‘’er im a bit clumsy’’ I mumbled ‘’I cant eat normal’’ ‘’Aw don’t mind’’ she laughed ‘’so what are ya hobbies what are ya into?’’ she asked ‘’Well I write songs play guitar and I used to love shopping’’ ‘’Used to’’ she repeated and picket up the salt strewer ‘’Im a bit unhandy with spending money and stuff’’ I tried to put broke and homeless in a nicer word. ‘’Ow right’’ she mumbled I think not understanding ‘’I didn’t have a job for a while I just have to admit I don’t have lots money but im happy I can earn it now with this cool job’’ ‘’Yer I understand but cool that ya playing guitar Danny is playing it too he tried to learn me but im a disaster when it comes to playing an instrument and well with Danny practising guitar goes over in other things’’ she smiled ‘’Aw right’’ I mumbled I didn’t need too much details, ‘’you two know each other for a long time I mean you and danny’’, I tried to put the tomato back in my sandwich I was obviously playing with my food I didn’t learn manners I thought ‘’Yer very long’’ she said while this time picking up the pepper strewer and she sprinkled a bit over the left overs of her sandwich ‘’is two years long?’’ she asked not sure of what she said ‘’Yer its long’’ I muttered I finished my last piece of bread and picked up my ice tea to swallow it, the thing was that big I was totally stuffed and I needed to ice tea to get it trough my throat ‘’For how long do you know Charlie?’’ she asked she wiped her hands with a tissue and looked at me waiting for an terrific answer with explanation ‘’Er’’ months days jears come on pick something soraya I forced myself ‘’2 moths not very long’’ I made up, ‘’but we are kinda close already I er live with him at his place’’ I added hoping that I explained it right ‘’That’s fast, sanne was his last girlfriend youll probably think: how I know but there where lots of pics in the mags I didn’t see you in one yet’’ ‘’Ow thats because’’ I knew him for a bit more a week I thought while nervously fold my tissue ‘’because we kept it a bit secret the relationship was just at the beginning so’’ I stopped my sentence and looked if the story was believable ‘’Ow right well cool I wont bother you with boyfriend questions I live together with danny by the way I have a flat near by, now I mention my flat’’ she smiled ‘’could you come to my party next week well its not a big party or something but its my birthday and I invited a few people id like you to come too you can meet my best friend and mcfly guys coming too’’ ‘’Ill come cool ‘’ ‘’Ok its gonna be fun I promise ill give you the address later in the week, we will see each other everyday so’’ ‘’Yer that’s cool I gotta go though need to take care of some things’’ I stood up and tried to find my little amount of money out of my pockets I laid it on the table ‘’ill see you tomorrow and nice meeting you’’ ‘’Nice to meet you too ill see you’’ I walked out of the restaurant on to the street I needed to coordinate for a while to know how to get back to charlies place I didn’t came in this neighbourhood that often I stared round and tried to recognize some things at the same moment a blue Porsche drove by it stopped and the car window opened ‘’hey girl want a ride home?’’ Charlie laughed I walked to the car and jumped in ‘’isn’t it dangerous taking rides from strange guys’’ I joked while putting on my safety belt ‘’It is’’ I heard someone laugh from the back I turned round and saw matt sitting, ‘’matt I didn’t notice you’’ I mentioned he grinned ‘’that’s because im invisible’’ he put on his shades and stared outside ’So how was your day honey?’’ charlie said he smiled at me while turning the page of his mag, ‘’my day was cool i think i have a job now im so happy’’ i said with a grin i couldnt get of my face anymore and i jumped onto the sofa, ‘’Friday is that party of yours right?’’ i asked i snatched the mag out of charlies hands and checked the cover ‘’interesting’’ i mumbled ‘’guitar music cool mag?’’ ‘’Just have to read something right’’ he muttered and opent the mag ‘’and yes the party is Friday’’ ‘’But you have to give me more info about everything it gotta look like we love each other and what for party is it’’ ‘’Some family member of sanne is going to get married and they invited me because i know the family member but anyway there very posh so we should get a dress for you’’ ‘’A dress?’’ I repeated i tried to picture myself in a posh dress ‘’You look like you dont like wearing dresses am i right?’’ charlie grinned his eyes lit up and in some way i wanted to pinch in his cheeks because he looked very cute but i tamed myself i didnt wanna embaress the lad,’’ i like wearing dresses only im a bit clumsy and i cant walk straight at least thats what my mum used to say when i had to go to some posh party, i know the whole being polite and posh tradition’’ i mentioned while putting my hair in a ponytail, ‘’why dont you leave it loose i like it better that way’’ charlie mumbled while looking at my long dark brown hair which i just put in a ponytail what i liked better, ‘’if you where my real boyfriend i would leave it loose but youre not’’ i grinned i felt a bit foolish saying that i dunno why for some things i didnt have an explanation. ‘’So well have to know each other a bit better’’ i resumed, ‘’tell me more about yourself i only know youre name is charlie, you smoke, can be moody sometimes, you wear luvely after shave and is obsessed with a girl named sanne’’ ‘’Im not obsessed i love her, but you dont know what real love is’’ ‘’Dont I’’ i felt insulted ‘’i do know what real love is i loved dean and that other guy i forgot his name and then i had this weird boyfriend named jess, i know enough about love maybe more than you’’ i said semi angry ‘’Ok ok sorry, calm down info mm.. my full name is charles robert simpson and dont go calling me charles, only my parents can call me charles when other people say it it really gets my goat’’ ‘’I wont call you charles, lord chazwick’’ i teased him i knew he would get annoyed or angry thats the thing i loved annoying people especially charlie but this time he took a deep breath and changed his normal face in a moody one,’’ i come from ipswich and im 21 jears old my birthday is june the 7 th dont forget that day ok’’ ‘’Ill put it in my dairy lord chazwick’’ i metioned ’You know the rest of my habits i mean im like you saw me these week so how about you?’’ ‘’Me?, Me who am i?’’ i wondered ‘’my full name is Soraya Indira Heppener i know its silly and im not a all English gall but anywayz im 20 and dont forget, my dear Charles that my birthday is on 6 th of april’’ ‘’Shut up with the chazwick and Charles i hate it ill throw you out of my house’’ Charlie said annoyed ‘’Aww poor Charlie is offended, well you already know my bad habit’’ i winked at charlie and he smiled slightly and stared into his mag ‘’how do i call you; honey baby sweetie’’ i already shivered by hearing me say the names i wasnt the girl who said ‘baby’ or ‘sweetie’ and i didnt want my boyfriend to say that to me either, i kinda liked honey but it was a bit cheesy too. ‘’Just say ‘honey’ sometimes, ‘baby’ and ‘sweetie’ are sad, i think we can call each other by names no sucked up names like the one you named’’ he answered I sighed relieved knowing he thought the same as me ‘’thats fine and what do we do i mean how do we let the people know where together, hold hands, hugs, kisses, standing close together….’’ ‘’Yer things like that, just like you where with dean just act like that’’ ‘’Well i acted different when i was with dean if you know what i mean, but i understand what you mean’’ i played with the closure from my watch and noticed i was bored i couldnt wait to go to my new job and work maybe i regret the thing i said now when im working up there for a month but i had lots of energy and i wanted to jump around in the livingroom or kick someone, ‘’i wanna hit someone’’ i mentioned ‘’Go hit matt or something hes coming tonight he likes fighting’’ charlie muttered absent ‘’Maybe i will good idea’’ i mumbled ‘’im so bored charlie’’ i muttered ‘’And? Im bored but i know how to get trough the time’’ he said referring to his, reading music mags all day ‘’Reading right’’ i laughed, ‘’maybe its an idea you have a libery card?’’ ‘’I think so i hardly read books theres a library at the end of the street, you should talk with dee about books, she reads all kind of novels i think she even eats books, maybe shell dump poor james for her books’’ he replied not taking his eyes of his magazine ‘’Charlie are you there’’ i heard the front door open and someone rumble in the hallway, ‘’this is the time we act’’ Charlie said soft, before i actually knew what he meant he threw his mag away and put his arm behind my neck pulling me onto him and he pushed his lips onto mine, the person, who was matt because matt was the only one who had the keys to charlies apartment (see im learning fast) coughs loudly, ‘’pardon lovedup couple’’ he said on a funny tone Charlie bravely finished the kiss and then let go of me, ‘’sorry matt we where just…’’ ‘’I know what you where doing’’ matt muttered he graphed a apple from the fruit bowl on the table and took a bite he chewed thoughtfully and after swallowing the bit he mumbled something what i couldnt understand i narrowed my eyes and stared at charlie who was still laying under me, ‘’you know what’’ i tapped with my fingers on his chest ‘’What?’’ ‘’Im going to the library where’s youre card…….honey’’ i giggled and stood up ‘’you two rehears ya lovely music’’ i said overreacting charlie stood up and looked between a pile of notes, magazines and other stuff he found the card and put it in my hand, ‘’thanx’’ i muttered and graphed my jacket ‘’ill be back in a sec’’ i looked at matt who was sitting behind the dinner table air drumming with one hand see ya girl he mumbled back I felt so happy that i almost danced from the stairs i had a job i was gonna put my life back on the line and i was going to get some reading material, the last thing didn’t fit in my happy thing but i could use something to read to improve my English my mum always said reading was good for your grammar or vocabulary or whatever why was i thinking about my mum anyway, she was probably laying in bed with some twenty jear old guy i felt sick by the thought and waved it goodbye, I entered the library and it was entering in a literal sense, books anywhere it looked very professional, i never been to a library in England before, i wasnt a book fan in my home town the library had like 100 books all the same titles and authors, up here they had really everything i walked behind every shelve looking at the covers and the back and took 5 books with nice covers and a nice back story, i put the books and my card on the table and was waiting for my turn, an posh middle age lady who was standing in front of me was peering in her Louis Vitton bag, obviously she forget her card or money, ‘’im so sorry i think i forgot my card’’ she said with a very posh accent ‘’il be back in a sec’’ she said and gone she was, the girl behind the desk took a deep breath and looked at me ‘’good afternoon’’ she said while ‘lasering’ my card, and putting the books in a special library bag, i took the bag over and smiled friendly before walking away. ‘’The library is freaky’’ i mentioned while getting my books on at a time on the table matt stared at the books and picked up one ‘’i dont know how you girls can read this crap’’ he said while reading the back ‘’Just read, nice sob romance stories, you guys should read it’’ i laughed and opent one book ‘’gosh look at the little letters’’ i almost paniced, charlie stood beside me and hung over my shoulder to check it out, ‘’you have some reading problem then, how do you call it?’’ he said looking for the word ‘’something with dis… or something’’ matt mumbled he played a bass riffle ‘’No i just like reading books with big letters i think im too lazy to read those little letters’’ ‘’Youre like charlie lazy’’ matt mentioned ‘’whos gonna cook tonight?’’ they both looked at me ‘’What!, its because im a female right?, you two are pigs i cant cook i bet matt can cook better than me’’ i said while putting my book back on the neat pile ‘’Well just order something ill make a salad i make the best salads ever’’ matt mentioned he picked up the phone and gave it to charlie, ‘’you gotta help me though’’ matt looked at me ‘’Ok ok il help you like making a salad his so hard to make’’ i muttered ‘’Why you’re washing the lettuce one at the time you can do a few pieces together and wash it at once’’ matt lectured me ‘’I know but this way all the nasty compost drains away’’ i explained while soaking a lettuce leaf under the ice cold water ‘’Right’’ he muttered and concentrates back on slicing the cucumber in pieces, ‘’how is it with the chef cooks of tonight’’ Charlie asked while picking one piece of cucumber of the plate and putting it in his mouth, ‘’well our hygiene girl up here thinks that one leaf of lettuce needs a whole bowl of water so the compost will get of isnt that overreacting’’ matt mentioned almost angry, Charlie raised and eyebrow and stared at me ‘’well at least its clean’’ ‘’Ha i told you charlie is on my side’’ I said to tease matt ‘’Thats because hes youre boyfriend if hes not on your side youll kill him’’ matt mumbled on a way that we couldn’t hear it proper ‘’Ha ha very funny matt here lets test you eat this lettuce leaf not washed’’ i held one leaf in front of his face ‘’Ill take the challenge’’ he said determined and took over the leaf and put it in his mouth, he starts chewing on it and after a while he swallows it with charlie and me looking very interested at him eating it ‘’The compost gives the lettuce more taste'' matt concluded while looking very sour ‘’You two want coffee’’ matt put his head trough the kitchen door and looked at me and charlie ‘’Yes please we both’’ answered at the same time ‘’What do you want in it?’’ he replied ‘’For my girl lots of milk and two sugars’’ Charlie mentioned ‘’For my guy black coffee that means no milk maybe some cream but i assume this isnt a restaurant so skip that and also two sugars’’ i mentioned ‘’You two should get married’’ matt mumbled and went back in the kitchen ‘’So i think we know each other enough’’ i looked at charlie who was watchin tv or switching channels by the second, ‘’i think so too wanna watch?’’ he asked putting the remote control in my hands ‘’Why not i think charmed is on its a cool programme although i only saw it once’’ i switched to the channel to see if i was right, ‘’it just beginning’’ i jelled happy i picked up a pillow and laid it under my head and changed into a confterable position to watch my show ‘’Right’’ charlie mumbled he picked up his Marlboro package and took a seat on the ‘’big chair’’, he looked in his pockets for his lightener and lit his cigarette ‘’Its a shame a perfect guy like you smokes’’ i muttered staring at the screen ‘’Not everyone’s perfect’’ he muttered back on his ‘’i-don’t-give-a-shit’’ tone ‘’Coffee for our married couple’’ matt said with a teasy grin on his face he gave me a mug ‘’thanx mattie’’ ‘’Dont call me mattie’’ matt said he gave me a angry look ‘’Why not it sounds cute, mattie is sweet right Charlie?’’ ‘’Very’’ he muttered still in his ‘’i dont give a shit’’ way and brought his cigarette to his mouth ‘’Moody’’ i mumbled ‘’ok il call you Matthew then, but matt i had this question’’ ‘’And the question is?’’ picked up his bass and took a seat he stroked the cover of the bass like it was a pet, ‘’I have this colleague and uh she’s a big busted fan and she is a bit obsessed with you so i was wondering if maybe you could come to her birthday with me?’’ ‘’Why?’’ Matt looked up his brown/green (what’s the colour of matt’s eyes me cant see it well, please tell me) eyes shining in the bright light ‘’she keeps asking things about you and she even has a picture on her table in the office and i thought you could come with me to her birthday please’’ i begged i tried to look helpless to convince him he had to come Matt smiled ‘’what do i get for it’’ ‘’Uh free food and, uh youre gonna-be tourmates are there;mcfly, and the fact shes a fan Is cool right?’’ ‘’Ow right ill think about it’’ he laid his bass on the sofa and walked to the kitchen he came back with the kellogs box and began to eat ‘’I need to know now do it for me’’ i was almost on my knees ‘’Ok ill come you want some’’ he pushed the kellogs under my nose, ‘’no thanx you eat those things with milk you know’’ i metioned ‘’Nah this way is better’’ matt said while graphing a hand full and putting it all in his mouth ‘’Disgusting’’ i mumbled ‘’But very tasty’’ he said with his mouth full ‘’Er sir can you help us, i mean me’’ i tapped on some posh guys shoulder hoping he worked in this dress shop, Charlie insisted me to wear something posh for the party and he dragged me with him to some weird store, i felt like a clumsy girl with no manners who accidentally went in this shop, the posh fella turned round and looked at me with a, you-don’t-belong-here gaze ‘’Off course I can help you’’ he smiled kind ‘’youre looking for a dress?’’ he asked, the words actually meant: ‘’I think the outlet store Isnt up here youre probably wrong’’, ‘’yes a dress you got dresses for people like me?’’ I asked nice Charlie didn’t even help me with talking to the guy he just wondered around the store looking semi interested ‘’We have several occasion dresses is it for a wedding?’’ he asked while writing a note for someone and sticking it on the counter ‘’Wedding? Nah no wedding’’ I muttered ‘’o wait it is for a wedding party but not mine’’ I grinned kind feeling stupid stuttering like that, Charlie finally stood behind me after scanning the shop on TNT, ‘’its gotta be a classy dress but also a bit modern’’ he added ‘’Off course’’ the guy said making his way to the back of the shop, so it was me I thought maybe the guy only understands posh talking people, ‘’well look at….’’ The guy muttered exited while looking trough several books ‘’this one’’ he pointed at a I must say beautiful dress and looked at me, ‘’right’’ I mumbled not really knowing what to say because I wasn’t a girl with that kinda fashion knowledge ‘’what do you think Charlie?’’ I asked him hoping hell help me out, ‘’you have more?’’ he asked disapproved ‘’Off course’’, the guy looked in a few drawers and pulled a book out, after turning several pages he stopped and showed me the page, ‘’I think this one will look great on you, you have the right figure for this dress’’ he explaint to me and then looked at Charlie, ‘’you got these dresses up here?’’ He asked looking round the shop ‘’Yess everything in the book is stored up here’’ the guy explaint making a gesture to all the clothes, I sighed loud showing I wasn’t in the mood to try on dressed right now but the guys didn’t give me no chance and I got locked into the dressing room fitting all kinds of dressed, ‘’ok this is the 5th dress of today’’ I muttered exhausted from all the changing, I stared at Charlie who was sitting on a chair opposite me and saw that he was all of a suddon very interested in me, ‘’wow this one is great turn around’’ I sighed and did as he said ‘’isn’t the back a bit low’, I mean soon ill freeze’’ I mumbled insecure ‘’No way you look fine I think youll steel the show’’ Charlie mentioned while still staring at me like I was his idol, I felt flattered by his compliment and looked at myself in the mirror, the dress was silver colourd, it looked like a dress that Hally Berry would buy for a award show and I didn’t look bad in It, I turned round ‘’well what do you think’’ I asked Charlie who just stood up and put his hands on my shoulders ‘’Take it’’ he smiled, I honestly didn’t have the guts to look at the price card so I left that to Charlie who pulled his credit card out of his wallet and paid for the dress, ‘’so where do we go now? Home?’’ I really hoped we’d go home because I was really tired of being a model ‘’or you need a suit?’’ ‘’I already have one, but where not finished with you yet’’ he said putting my dress into the boot of his Porsche ‘’Where not?’’ I asked surprised like we didn’t spend enough money yet ‘’Nope youll need a necklace and shoes’’ he said determined and jumped into his car leaving me stunned behind, ‘’are you coming?’’ He asked opening his car window and putting on his fancy Gucci shades which looked fab on him, ‘’coming’’ I muttered knowing my modelling day wasn’t over yet I jumped in and, we drove off to the other side of the city to go further with shopping. I was standing in the loo’s (at the wedding party) checking my make up and listening to all the convos of posh people, i must say there lives where pretty interesting i heard all kinds of things woman talking about how expensiv their dress where,who looked best and naming all kinds of haute cotoure labels and then you had a few stressed woman who where nervously sipping champagne and smoking cigarets there was enough place for lets say 30 people up here and you even had choice out of 5 different soaps to wash your hands with, and i gotta mention they had cotton throw-away towels, the towels you used like for a jear and they only used to dry their hands, i peered in my new handbag for my lipgloss i used to stuff my pockets full with make up but now i had to be classy so a nice handbag was neccery, only i had the problem stuffing my handbag and i was rummaging innit to find my lipgloss who was laying on the bottom, ‘’finnaly found you’’ i muttered to my lipgloss when i pulled it out of my bag a few woman where giving me weird looks it obviously wasnt normal to talk to youre make up. i opent the tube, put the sticky stuff onto my lips,and trowing the tube back into my bag ‘’You know youre nails look perfect how do you get nails like that?’’ someone who was standing behind me asked ‘’Er well just care for youre nails’’ i brabelled thinking that that wasnt a question i heard everyday i turn round to look who asked it and stare at a Reese Witherspoon look a like who just came of the set of legally blond, the girl stared dissaproved at her nails and then graphes My hand and stared at my long perfect cared ‘at least that was what she thought’ nails, ‘’ill bet you get youre manicure done in that classy shop in the city whats the name again?’’ she looks at her best friend hoping shell help her out ‘’whats the name again?’’ she repeats removing a blond strand of hair out of her face, ‘’i dont do manicures i mean i do it myself’’ i cut in ‘’Well thats fine too’’ the girl mumbled looking suprised and probably thinks thats not a thing to do when youre rich and beatiful, ‘’you should do my nails once’’ she smiles ‘’by the way im serena and this is my best friend katie and youre..?’’ ‘’Soraya’’ i mentioned i was a bit suprised i was integrating into the posh toilet convo ‘’Well nice to meet you, you look really great tonight i must say, where did you buy the dress?’’ ‘’Some shop i forgot the name’’ i mentioned looking in my purse for some chewing gum because I didn’t want to look like someone who didn’t have something to do ‘’Wel i spotted some cute guys tonight’’ serena started her eyes lit up and she looked to the other girls hoping they didnt notice someone so she could chase the lads, ‘’me too’’ katie added shy while putting her dress right ‘’are you with a guy tonight, by the way i have never seen you before are you a friend of the family? katie asked curious ‘’Well im here with Charlie Simpson hes a friend of the family so, i never been on a party of these people before’’ i explaint noticing that all eyes of the woman lit up when i said Charlie Simpson ‘’Youre charlie’s new girl?!, lucky girl, it took me ages to get him looking at me’’ one girl mentioned while looking at me over the rim of her champagne glass ‘’You had a relationship with him?’’ i was all of a suddon very interested ‘’No id wish, i went to Uppingham boarding school with him and i had a bit of a crush on him’’ ‘’Who didn’t’’ another girl interupted ‘’Well i didnt charlie wasnt the guy for me he was to interested in that rock band stuff i dont like guys like him though he is fit’’ katie interupted ‘’but he was so obsessed with sanne remember’ she added ‘’Yer sanne and charlie where a cute couple she dumped him poor guy but i think hes lucky with a girl like you’’ serena butted in obviously noticing she wasn’t the ‘leeder’’ in the convo ‘’well thanx’’ i muttered i felt a bit unconfterable having those woman staring at me, ‘’er id love to talk more but i bet charlie is waiting for me i dont want him getting worried’’ i apoligised ‘’Were going too’’ serena mentioned and almost pushed me out of the toilets, ‘’you can come and sit at our table if you want to we could chat’’ she said while pointing at her table ’Thats nice of you but im here with charlie maybe ill come round though or you could join us’’ i smiled kind i wasnt in the mood to make enemies i think most people thought it was a honour to join their populair table and if you said no they wouldnt talk with you anymore or something like that ‘’Well the party isnt over so if you change youre mind id love to chat with you youre a nice girl’’ serena mentioned and walked of to her table after a kind wave at me ‘’Hey girl you made new friends’’ charlie asked he put his arm in mine ‘’Something like that i met them in the loo’s’’ ‘’In the loo’s?’’ Charlie asked suprised ‘’Dont go thinking weird things ok i dunno if its the same thing in the mensroom but i gotta warn ya’’ ‘’Right’’ charlie laughed ‘’champagne?’’ he picked up a glas from a tray and gave it to me ‘’Why not’’ i took it over and took a sip, ‘’must be expensive too’’ i mumbled in myself while looking at the cristal glass where it was served in, ‘’i think im going to make a fool of myself with these shoes’’ I said while staring at my feet ‘’Why’’ charlie frowned ‘’Well im so gonna fall i always wear high heels but these one are really thin and high’’ i showed charlie the shoe’s like he didnt see them before ‘’Aw poor girl’’ he laughed ‘’you wont fall’’ he said while putting his arm behind my back and letting it rest on my hip, he pulled me a bit closer, ‘’i promise i wont drop ya’’ he smiled and took a sip of his champagne ‘’look over there the girl on the right’’ charlie tapped on my shoulder and carefully pointed at a girl with a tight black dress she worn bright silver shoes and a filled with diamonds necklace, her long blond hair shined in the light and when she turned her head, her hair ‘danced’ like in those loreal commercials i felt a streak of jealousy knowing this was charlies real girl, well ex girlfriend but he was obsessed with her ‘’Thats sanne’’ he mentioned ‘’Well, youre not going to introduce me?’’ i asked and took a big sip of champagne hoping the miserable feeling and the jealousy would fade away ‘’Sure’’ charlie said not taking his eyes of sanne and we headed into her direction sanne noticed us well actually she noticed charlie and forced a smile on her face she picked the lemon out of her drink and put it on a little plate on the table ‘’You still dont eat the lemon?’’ charlie mentioned ‘’No it ruines my drink’’ she said taking a quik glance at me she raised an eyebrow and by that i felt offended ‘’So youre charlies new girlfriend’’ she asked not waiting for an answer ‘’im sanne’’ she said fast ‘’come and sit at our table this is my brother’’ she looked behind at a handsome blond guy with a very charming laugh it looked like he was flirting with me and i coudnt help myself flirting back, only sanne noticed it, what the hell flirting isnt illegal, i thought and took a seat next to charlie after chatting a bit i noticed sanne was a very nice girl and i felt sorry for her, i thought it was a bit cruel i mean i would be gutted if i noticed that my ex boyfriend, one day after you broke up already had a new girlfriend, although charlies plan kinda worked; everytime charlie laid his hand on mine or smiled sweet at me she gave me a jealous glare, i noticed that it was a bit dangerous to flirt with her brother because he didnt stop flirting, ‘’i think im going to look around this house its really beatiful’’ i said and stood up this way i could leave sanne with Charlie and avoid the brother, only her brother called johnny also stood up, ‘’ill show you around i mean this is the place i used to live’’ he explaint, ‘’why not’’ i mumbled ‘’bye honey’’ i said to charlie and gave him a kiss to make sanne even more jealous ‘’So youre enyojing the party?’’ johnny asked when we walked trough the house ‘’Yer its cool and the bride and the groom are really cute together’’ i mentioned ‘’Yer my bro is the last to move out this big mansion’’ jonny said looking a bit too long into my eyes I nervously ‘played’ with the champagne in my glass ‘’When did you move out?’’ i asked to unbore the convo ‘’A few years ago i coudnt live with my parents anymore they annoyed me i have an appartement in the city’’ he explaint ‘’this is the best place of the house’’ he said showing me the large balcony ‘’Wow this is so beatiful’’ i said stunned the few was great, downstairs you had a very big garden and at the side there was a large swimminpool it really felt like i was in a palace i enjoyed the fresh air and looked at the beatiful few not noticing jonny coming a bit too close,’’ really beatiful’’ he agreed’, i took a step aside to stand on a safe ditance from him i looked at his pretty face his blue eyes sparkelt in the light and he carefully runned his fingers trough his blond spiky hair the silence was a bit too much and i hoped my phone would ring to spoil this kinda romantic moment ’so’’ he started ‘’So’’ i repeated he smiled at me and i imagend a few girls fainting if he smiled like that in a club ‘’its kinda cold’’ i said while stroking me hands over my arms and no i wasnt aming for his jacket like the girls in sob romantic movies did, ‘’lets go back inside’’ i mumbled and made my way inside jonny pulled my back and right now i was standing against him he moved a loose strand of hair out of my face and looked into my eyes first he hesitated but then he changed his mind and kissed me, I got a bit blinded by the kiss and didn’t have the streight to push him of me, i wanted to forget the whole acting thing and kiss him back but i had to keep my promise to charlie, ‘’sorry jonny i have a boyfriend’’ i mumbled and pushed him of me ‘’and I hardly know you’’ I added I gave him a weak smile hoping hell understand he stared at me for a while and then smiled ‘’youre right, maybe that’s what makes you even more attractive’’ he grinned, I raised an eyebrow not wanting to hear his rubbish talk, ‘’but I understand’’ he adds ‘’lets go back inside then’’ he put out his and I took it ‘’so where were you two?’’ serana butts in when we just walked into the big livingroom she looked at me like she knew something happened and I could almost see her fantasy running wild making juicy gossip ‘’we where, I mean I was showing soraya the house’’ jonnhy said I didn’t really listen to the convo and stared at the table where sanne and Charlie where sitting sanne was flirtagously tapping her fingers onto the rim of her champagne glass looking at Charlie trough the corner of her eyes they both laughed and I felt very jealous I picked up a glass from the table and almost drained it trough my troat I concentrated back on the convo wich jonny had with serena, ‘’show the house?’’ Serena mumbled I think jealous she shook her glass and the champagne almost flood over the rim ‘’show her the bed is more like it’’ she added rude she oviously showed that she fancied jonny and I had the feeling that I stole him away from her, ‘’shut up serena, I showed her the house like a guide that you sleep with youre guides’’ he passed the offence back, he pulled me with him to the table where Charlie and sanne where sitting ‘’hey girl how was youre tour?’’ Charlie asked when I took a seat next to him, ‘’really beautiful I mean the house is’’ I added, ‘’thanx I loved it too when I lived here’’ sanne explains making a gesture to the waiter or butler, ‘’henry could you make me a cocktail not too strong’’ she asked on a posh tone ‘’you two want something else then champagne?’’ she stared at us, Charlie shook his head, ‘’no thanx’’ I refused polite I had enough drinks for tonight and I wasn’t in the mood to make a complete fool of myself in a posh dress ‘’ll I think its time to head back home’’ Charlie said after another hour of chatting with sanne and Johnny both where very nice and had a cool sense of humour I checked my watch and noticed it was 2 am already ‘’well time flew by’’ I mumbled I stood up and straightened my dress ‘’nice meeting you two it was really cool’’ I said and took Charlie’s hand, ‘’I liked meeting you too’’ sanne mentioned jonny stood up and put a note in my hand he smiled and walked back to his place Charlie looked curious at me ‘’lets go’’ I said to put it to another subject ‘’I hope ill see you two again’’ I mumbled, said goodbye and dragged Charlie with me, ‘’so it looked like you had fun’’ Charlie mentioned and started the engine of his car ‘’Yer nice people I had fun and the dress wasn’t that bad after all’’ I said I carefully opent the note from Johnny on a safe distance so Charlie couldn’t read it: I know you have a boyfriend but If ya ever break up or just want to talk to me call me 064759383 kiss Johnny I made a little ball from the note and tossed it into my purse, ‘’what was that?’’ Charlie asked very curious ‘’Ow nothing interesting just a note from Johnny’’ I wasn’t really impressed by his note but I didn’t know maybe I could call him once he was kinda cute, ‘’ok where are you thinking of’’ Charlie interrupted my thoughts ‘’I think that Johnny fancies you’’ ‘’I think so too’’ I agreed with a smile on my face At 4 am I was sitting al alone on the sofa watching some weird action movie on tv, Charlie was already laying in bed so that left me all alone in my dress (I was too lazy to change) eating hobnobs till I got sick (those things are so tasty) I kinda wondered what was the next with the ‘getting back sanne case’, maybe I could ask, charlie woudnt be sleeping at this time, well what the hell ‘’CHARLIE!’’ I jelled with my mouth full with crumbs I turned of the tv and stared at the door of Charlie’s room waiting for him to appear after a few minutes a moody- hair totally messed up-wearing his pyjama shorts and t shirt-Charlie appears, rubbing the sleep out of the corner of his eyes and stares at me with narrowed eyes still needing to adjust to the light ‘’what?’’ He mutters inaudible ‘’whats the matter?’’ he repeats only this time a bit lauder, ‘’I just had this question’’ I mumbled realising I woke Charlie up from his beauty sleep which he didn’t need because he was beautiful enough, he raised an eyebrow blinks a few times with his eyes and then heads to the sofa and takes a seat next to me ‘’you had to wake me up for a question I thought the house was on fire or something’’ he mumbled a bit annoyed ‘’You didn’t think that, you would be panict if you thought that, you really didn’t look panict’’ I muttered ‘’but sorry’’ I added ‘’I feel really guilty’’ I said meaning every word because Charlie looked like a bear who just been disturbed in his winter sleep (not that I know how that looks like) ‘’Right don’t you need sleep’’ he stares at me ‘’youre still wearing the dress?’’ He rumbles into the hobnob box and then notice its empty ‘’Yer, this dress is like youre wearing nothing its perfect’’ I muttered not understanding why I said that ‘’I couldn’t sleep so I watched tv’’ I confessed ‘’Youre like matt not sleeping for days and then passing out in the middle of a living room at a party’’ Charlie mumbled he closed his eyes hoping hell feel less tired that way ‘’talk before I pass out’’ he added ‘’Well we kinda made sanne jealous and I wondered whats next, she knows that you can cope without her perfectly, I mean how the hell is she coming back to you?’’ I ask trying to understand what I just said ‘’I had this plan’’ he takes a deep breath ‘’ill tell you tomorrow im too tired to explain don’t worry it will work out’’ he said laying his head against me shoulder and continues his beauty sleep ’Glad youre here theres lot of work to do’’ am said when I just came into the office she pushed a few files into my hands, ‘’right’’ I mumbled and dropped them onto the table, ‘’want some coffee?’’ am asked and before I could answer she was already gone ‘’right’’ I mumbled again and took a seat behind my computer I tapped my fingers on the desk staring at the computer who was extremely slow ‘’whats with this thing’’ I mumbled in myself ‘’Hey soraya howz work?’’ harry asked he took a seat at the edge of my desk, I looked at him ‘’its cool im just working here 2 weeks but it feels like im here for 2 jears by the way these computers are really slow’’ I added ‘’Ok,Well thats cool my dad thinks youre a great worker, so howz your boyfriend, charlie right?’’ He looked very curious I took a deep breath, ‘’that bad?’’ harry narrowed his eyes and then smiled ‘’No not bad you know i wish i could tell someone’’ i started ‘’Tell what?’’ Harry asked even more curious then before ‘’Nothing’’ i mumbled feeling guilty even starting about it honestly i was dieing to tell someone i wasnt the one who could keep a secret very long ‘’Come on tell me please i wont tell anyone i promise’’ Harry almost begged ‘’Ok dont tell anyone, no one even not youre closest friend’’ ‘’You can kill me if i will but trust me i wont’’ harry made a wont-speak-about-it gesture ‘’Well im not with charlie i mean i do live with him and act like im with him’’ i began harry looked troubled understanding, ‘’ok i dont really get it’’ he muttered ‘’Ok from the beginning then, im just here for a jear right and i got kicked out of my apartment because i coudnt pay my rent because my boss fired me and i coudnt find a job that fast you get it?’’ i asked harry nodded ‘’Ok my boyfriend also dumped me all included my miserable live so i was making myself more miserable in a pub and i met charlie he was just dumped by his ex girlfriend so we where both miserable he felt sorry for me because i was really drunk and stuff and when he found out i didnt have a home he took me to his place we made a promise i had to find a job and get my life back on track and i could stay at his place and i had to help him’’ i stopped my sob story and looked at Harry, ‘’with what?’’ He asked ‘’Getting his girlfriend back make her jealous so in some way she would get back with him’’ ‘’Right its like a movie i mean youre story’’ harry flicked his hand trough his hair ‘’It is now i think of it but anywayz im not his girlfriend yesterday i met his ex girlfriend and she was nice and her brother was even nicer but because of the charlie thing i cant date any one else’’ ‘’Thats a problem’’ harry laughed ‘’Well i dont really really mind just a little, charlie is a cool guy i really like him but..’’ ‘’But you like him actually more than is allowed’’ harry added ‘’Maybe i mean i care for him i think im starting to know him a bit too much, if we where just friends i woudnt mind but we have to act like a couple and i think im falling for him what should i do?’’ I asked desperate ‘’I dunno its complecated what does he think of you?’’ ‘’I dunno im his acting partner’’ i said on a sarcastic tone and took a sip of my already cold coffee Harry smiled thoughtfully and fiddled with the leaves of the flowers in the flowerpot ‘’i think you should find out more about youre feelings and his feelings’’ harry explaint, ‘’said harry judd the relationexpert’’ i joked ‘’Hey im not a pro im not known in these kinda situations’’ he said a bit posh he stood up and put his hands in his pockets, ‘’you really have blue eyes’’ i mentioned all of a suddon ‘’Nah really’’ harry looked up ‘’I mean there not blue but blue blue, ok sorry that didnt make sence not many people have blue eyes the way you have did that make sence?’’ i asked ‘’I know what you mean dont worry you dont like my eyes?’’ He asked ‘’They are beatiful youre special’’ i mumbled and stared at the still not making progress computerscreen ‘’Thanx i know im special’’ he grinned ‘’girls love my eyes’’ he said on a arrogant tone ‘’Right, you have a girlfriend?’’ ‘’Well no not really but i fancy someone and she kinda likes me so i think that will work out’’ ‘’Youre gonna impress her with youre eyes’’ i laughed that’s right harry laughed, am put the mug in front of me and took a sip of her coffee staring at harry and me, where where you two talking about? ’Nothing am’’ I mumbled while staring in my coffee, ‘’there no drugs innit you can drink it’’ am mentioned and took another sip of hers, I smiled ‘’whats with you today?’’ ‘’I dunno birthday stress’’ I think, ‘’you remembert right’, tommarow?’’ she asked and looked at harry and me we both looked at each other like we didn’t know that it was her birthday tommarow ‘’I dunno’’ harry said ‘’bargain shopping at tesco?’’ He said with a teasy grin on his face, ‘’no its my birthday’’ am muttered inaudible ‘’Come on am we know’’ I gave her a friendly slap on the shoulder ‘’I have a prezzie wel not really well youll see’’ I stuttered, ‘’cool’’ she answered with a smile and then looked at harry, he raised an eyebrow, ‘’what? I bought you er……..well….i wraphed danny in cute pink paper…….o wait flowers!’’ he mumbled and picked up the flowerpot of my table, ‘’those are my flowers harry’’ I snatched the flowers out of his hands and put them back on the table ‘’well ill give you money’’ he laughed ‘’ok harry I know you didn’t buy anything just confess’’ am laughed ‘’talking about my birthday I gotta buy food and snacks’’ she chucked her mug onto the table graphed her jacket and off she was ‘’see ya’’ she waved and ran outside, ‘’that where 5 minutes of am’’ I said to harry he smiled on a cute way ‘’shes always like that, always in a hurry’’ he added ‘’Really well anywayz I think shell love my present’’ I said and smiled mysteriously ‘’What’s the present?’’ Harry asked curious ‘’Youll see tomorrow I have to work before youre dad fires me’’ I said and opened a new word file to start typing some work things ‘’Matt lets go’’ I said exited and looked at my reflection in the window, ‘’I don’t wanna be late’’ I added ‘’Go where?’’ matt asked semi funny and turned of the tv ‘’China to eat sushi’’ I muttered, ‘’euw fish don’t go talking about it’’ Charlie panict ‘’Sorry honey I didn’t mean to frighten you’’ I said on a overreacted tone and laid my hands into charlies neck, matt stood up and stretched himself like he just slept for ages ‘’do I look good?’’ he asked Charlie and I looked up and checked matts clothes, ‘’the shirt’’ Charlie started, ‘’too many stains’’ I added, matt frowned, checked his shirt and shrugged ‘’I don’t see any stains but ill wair something else’’, ‘’Charlie stop pinching me’’ I said ‘’im not a beanie bag!’’ I muttered tottaly random although Charlie was pinching my arm ‘’A beanie’’ matt laughed ‘’james has one right?’’ ‘’Yer I have one too’’ Charlie laughed and looked at me, ‘’o no you don’t’’ I defendet myself taking a step back ‘’Yes you are’’ Charlie grinned and stood up, ‘’matt save me’’ I squalled, ‘’save yourself’’ matt said and walked to charlies room to search for a normal t shirt, Charlie walked to me and pinched me in my arm, ‘’don’t’’ I laughed ‘’whats with you you really need a girlfriend right’’ I teased him ‘’Maybe or I just need a victim’’ he grinned, ‘’so whats the plan?’’ I asked reffering to the sanne case, ‘’ill tell ya later’’ Charlie replied ‘’Later? No now, I need to know soon ill have to do something embaressing or stupid’’ I said ‘’Mmm stupid? nah, embaressing maybe not really I think’’ Charlie said thoughtfully ‘’No way!, well I think ill have to wait then’’ I mumbled disappointed and curious ‘’Wait for what?’’ matt asked ‘’Nothing’’ Charlie and me both smiled and Charlie let go of my hand, ‘’right’’ matt muttered ‘’lets go, im not looking too dark like this?’’ he asked ‘’Well black hair, black shirt, black trousers, nah you look like a bright flower’’ I mentioned ‘’bye honey’’ I said with the accent on honey to tease Charlie and gave him a peck on the cheek I just wanted to walk away but Charlie pulled me back and kissed me full on the lips ‘’that’s how you do it’’ he said with a grin ‘’Aw right babe’’ I laughed and walked with matt outside, Charlie winked at me and I knew what he meant ‘’acting right’’ I mumbled so that matt coudnt hear it ‘’Ow one thing don’t use ‘babe’ that’s sad and have fun’’ Charlie added ‘’Sure babe’’ I laughed, ‘’you two are weird, serious’’ matt mumbled while flicking his hands a few times trough his hair so it would fall back in a fab position I knew am would love my birthday present, it was kinda handy i didnt have to pay for the present, when I arrived at her place am opent the door, ‘’hey soraya im so glad you could come’’ ‘’Cool only i coudnt buy you a present but i did brought something or i mean someone with me i coudnt come empty handed, but i think youll like it, anyway where is he?’’ i looked back into the hallway and there was still no sign of matt ‘’Who? Im curious’’ am said ‘’but anyway come in ill take youre jacket’’ I gave her my jacket and she hung it by the other jackets at that moment matt came in ‘’sorry im late’’ matt mumbled, ‘’what where you doing?’’ I asked ‘’Just locking the car you never know’’ he said he looked at am ‘’so youre the birthday girl?’’ Am looked back stunned and for a few seconds she coudnt say a thing first i thought she was going to faint, ‘’yer im the birth day girl’’ she stuttered ‘’soraya you did that al for me?’’ she said while holding her hands in front of her mouth ‘’thanx’’ she squaeked while not taking her eyes of matt, she looked at him like he was some kind of god ‘’No problem i only had to ask matt’’ ‘’Happy birthday am’’ matt gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. ‘’well come in’’ am said still a bit stunned she opent the door to the livingroom, matt smiled and walked in, i assumed that matt came in this kinda situations every day, he was used to meeting schocked fans ‘’soraya thanx so much im really shaking now’’ am said to me ‘’Aw hes all yourse’’ i laughed looking at matt ‘’only i coudnt wrap him in a nice bright colourd paper but im glad you like it’’ i said while walking into her livingroom, i looked around, one big bookcase full of books a few funny flower and nature paintings, nature colourd wall paper it looked very nice and cosy, i noticed the mcfly guys sitting bravely next to each other on the sofa and on the other sofa i saw two girls I didn’t know on the other sofa, matt took a seat next to them, ‘’ow these are my best mates heleen and gemma’’ am said while pointing at the girls they both smiled kind at me and resumed drinking their, I think, coctails ‘’those are the mcfly guys i think you already know them, matt you know them?’’ am asked ‘’Off course im going on tour with the lads’’ matt answered ‘’I know i have tickets’’ am said with a grin on her face ‘’i cant wait, you want something to drink?’’ she asked ‘’Let me do the drinks’’ danny stood up and gave am a kiss ‘’its youre birthday you dont have to do anything’’ he said and made his way to the kitchen harry also stood up and dragged me with him also to the kitchen, ‘’whats up?’’ I asked, ‘’you saw the girl on the left, the one with brown hair till her shoulders and has green eyes?’’ Harry said all exited, ‘’er yer I only didn’t see her eyes yet I mean I coudnt see something like that from a far but is she the girl you fancy?’’ I asked very curious I lained against the kitchen table and stared at harry, ‘’yer that’s her gemma’’ harry explained, ‘’isn’t it cute harry all in love’’ danny grinned and put some glasses on a tray ‘’It is’’ I said like someone who just saw a new born baby I started laughing ‘’coolish though, so why don’t you go talk to her come’’ I said and pushed harry back inside the livingroom ‘’Where where you?’’ Am asked she was sitting next to matt and had a very happy grin on her face, ‘’just looking if danny could manage it on his own’’ harry explaint and went back to the ‘’mcfly sofa’’, I took a seat on one of the chairs and listent to the convo’s after a few changing sofa’s harry finnaly took place next to gemma and they where chatting, they looked really cute together, also matt wraphed an arm round am’s shoulder and she really liked it, the party was kinda cool and I kinda got to know heleen she told me about her busy job as a journalist and I was interested in the cool stories when my phone rang I almost chucked my drink over me from shock heleen laughed at me, ‘’ow its my phone’’ I mumbled ashamed of being afraid of my luvely ringtone, ‘’exuse me for a sec’’ I mumbled and went to the kitchen ‘’er right, sorry, didn’t see a thing, just go on whit what you where doing’’ I said when I saw harry and gemma making out in the kitchen harry let go of gemma and looked a bit busted I put up my thumb and made my way to the corridor to pick up my phone ’Mm dee’’ i mumbled when i looked at the receiver i opent my very stylish phone ‘’hey soraya up here’’ ‘’Er soraya can you come over?’’ i heard dee mutter trough the phone, ‘’why?’’ I asked she sounded a bit sad and i got curious, ‘’well i just… tell you when you come here’’ she mumbled ‘’Well im on a party right now is it that urgent?’’ ‘’It is really!’’ she almost jelled ‘’I mean it is, sorry about that’’ she improved ‘’Well Im coming then dont go doing stupid things’’ i said to be sure ‘’Why do you think id do something stupid?’’ she asked ‘’I dunno youll never know, but gotta hang up because you wanted me to come right?’’ ‘’Yer ok thanx bye’’ she hung up with a snif that meant she was crying I walked back inside the living room ‘’am I really loved the party but a friend really needs my help or something so I gotta go’’ I looked at matt, ‘’well ill be going too then, nice to meet ya am’’ matt said and stood up he gave am another goodbye kiss and walked with me to the corridor to get our jackets, ‘’nice meeting you all’’ I mumbled to the others, am walked with us ‘’thanx for youre present’’ she said looking at matt ‘’and thanx for coming it was fun’’ she added ‘’Lets first go home ill have to drop you first’’ I smiled at matt, ‘’I know’’ he grinned back and watched the traffic ‘’Hey where back’’ matt muttered when we came back at charlies place ‘’hey was it fun?’’ he asked ‘’Yer coolish’’ matt and I both said and stared at each other surprised for saying exactly the same thing, ‘’owkay’’ Charlie smiled, wrapped his arms round my waist and he kissed me on my nose, ‘’no honey this is how its done’’ I laughed and kissed Charlie on his lips Charlie grinned, ‘’im going to dee by the way can I lend ya car I wont make a scratch on it I promise’’ I added before Charlie would say no, i graphed my handbag and put on my jacket, ‘’yer fine with me’’ Charlie gave me the keys, ‘’james said something was wrong hes coming up here i just thought id mention’’ charlie said he picked up his cereal bowl and took a spoon full of cereal the milk dripped down his chin and i wiped it away with my hand ‘’you really cant eat do you’’ i metioned ‘’I know well ill see you then’’ he muttered looking a bit too long into my eyes as if he was trying to find something in them, i smiled nervously and walked away, i wasn’t really falling in love with charlie was i?, i wondered while making my way trough the traffic, i thought it was really cool that i could borrow Charlie’s Porsche sometimes, nah i wasnt in love with him he was nice and caring nothin else and even if i was, he was hopelessly in love with sanne so i didnt make a chance. When I parked the car I looked at all the sides to see if the thing was still perfect I was still thinking about my feelings for Charlie and wasn’t looking right I bumped into a three, ‘’ fuck it you stupid three!’jelled and kicked against it not noticing two old people staring at me, ‘’ we just had a argument the thing was in my way,it’s the threes fault really’’ I mumbled the old people were looking at me with a she-seriously-needs-counselling gaze and I walked further before they went after me with flyers of different loony institutes ‘’hey dee whats up?’’ i said on a happy tone when i stood in front of her door,my happy mood slowly disappeared when i saw the look on her face i stared into two tearful dark eyes, mascara all over her cheeks and she held her hanky tight in her hands ‘’o my god you look awful what happened’’ i barged past her and head to the kitchen to switch on the kettle, dee followed me and took a seat at the kitchen table she graphed the cookie tin and fishes one chocolate cookie out of it, she looked very helpless and i really wanted to know what happened i took a seat opposite her ‘’so what happened?’’ i asked careful ‘’I dumped james’’ she sniffed loud and wiped the mix of smudged make up and tears on her cheek away ‘’You dumped james what did he do?’’ I asked not understanding james, was a sweet guy he wasn’t the type a guy who you would catch with some other girl making out on the sofa or something like that ‘’Well we had this row and uh i got a bit to angry and i totally overreacted and said it was over and wel he got angry and told me it was no reason to dump him and then i walked away’’ she said and took another cookie,’’ i feel so stupid i really regret what i did’’ she mumbled trough the crumbs ‘’It is stupid’’ i agreed i picked two mugs out of the kitchen closet and put them on the table ‘’Just rub it in that makes me feel better!’’ she answered sarcastic ‘’Why dont you tell him you where overreacting just a bit stressed he will understand’’ i advised putting two tea sachets in the mugs and filling them with the boiled water ‘’Well i dont think he wants to get back with me’’ she muttered insecure she graphed another cookie out of the tin which she was holding like it was a teddy bear I took a deep breath and stirred thoughtfully in my mug, ‘’maybe…..’’ i stook my spoon in the air ‘’nah never mind’’ i muttered shoving the other mug to dee ‘’I feel so stupid i would never come back with him i miss him already’’ she murmured not noticing that the biscuit she dunked in her tea for the past two minutes has completely disintegrated, ‘’I only have one advice just tell him you want him back get on your knees and beg’’ ‘’Thats desperate right?’’ she noticed her disintegrated cookie and picked another one out of the tin ‘’And dee isnt desperate?, she feels completely fine without james right?’’ i concluded semi serious i pull the cookie tin out of her grasp ‘’i think these cookies are saver with me’’ i mentioned ’Youre handbag is ringing’’ dee mentioned pointing at my bag like a little girl ‘’Ow right’’ i mumbled noticing my well known usher ringtone i fished out my phone and checked out the number on the caller display ‘’Charlie’’ i mumbled and picked up the phone ‘’Hey its me charlie’’ he said trough the phone ‘’you heard dee dumped james’’ ‘’Yer i noticed’’ i sighed ‘’i am at her place’’ ‘’Ok james is up here hes totally gutted about it hows dee?’’ ‘’The same maybe worse she feels guilty’’ i all of a suddon whispered hoping dee wouldnt notice me talking about her being miserable ‘’Right i have a plan’’ he said mysteriously ‘’A plan?’’ i repeated ‘’it better be a good one tell me when i get home ok’’ ‘’Yer ok, its a good one’’ he added and hung up, i closed my phone and stared at dee who was peering in her mug ‘’there are cookie crumbs in my tea’’ she mentioned with a sad voice ‘’No really’’ i mumbled sarcastic ‘’should i make ya a new cup of tea then?’’ I said while staring into dee’s tearful eyes ‘’So whats the plan?’’ i asked when i came home Charlie pushed me into the kitchen ‘’dont say that at loud James is sitting in the living room’’, ‘’Ow right sorry, is he ok?’’ I asked worried and carefully stared at james from out of the kitchen, he was sitting on the sofa staring in front of him matt was sitting opposite him and was like always air drumming on the music of his mp3 player, ‘’he really looks sad’’ normally james eats m&ms and jumps hyper trough the living room ‘’He does so i had this plan’’ Charlie said soft ‘’Yer tell me’’ i said getting impatient ‘’We gotta get them back together so we could go shopping apart, youll go with dee and ill go with james’’ ‘’And? What are we gonna do buy glue and stick them together’’ I mumbled not seeing the point of the plan ‘’You two will go by bus ill go with my car, and well switch we accidentally, we will meet in the park and then we both leave them behind they will have to wait 45 minutes on the bus because i have the car and well’’ ‘’Thats a great idea I still don’t understand it yet but great’’ i almost jumped happy ‘’i hope it works when are we gonna do it?’’ ‘’The day after tomorrow, that way they will be like desperately wanting to see each other again’’ (the day after tommarow) ‘’Wake up its already late’’ i heard charlie mutter ‘’no not today im ill’’ i mumbled hugged my pillow and went back to dreamland at least thats where i was planning to go, ‘’come on you have to go to youre work im not youre mother but you own me money so get youre lazy arse behind the breakfast table’’ charlie mumbled i sighed deeply and acted like i didnt hear a thing at that moment a ice cold lemonade glass amount of water splashed into my face i almost jumped out of my bed from shock ‘’who chucked the water over me!’’ i asked angry i stared at charlie who had a big grin on his face he pointed at matt who was standing next to him with a glass in his hand, ‘’what should i say at least youre awake’’ he grinned, i felt a huge rage of anger exploding in my body ‘’im so gonna kill you!’’ i jelled and ran after matt ‘’help me charlie’’ matt laughed while running round the living room table i slapped matt a few times and then realised i just woke up and suppose to be moody and tired which i both was ‘’it wasnt me really!’’ matt laughed ‘’it was charlie he gave me the glass after chucking it over you’’ matt held his hands in front of him so he wouldn’t receive more punches and slaps from me i turned around and looked at charlie who was trying to hide his guilty grin ‘’you know ill get you back i swear, you just wait’’ i mumbled angry and walked to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast behind me i heard both burst into laughter and i really felt sorry for myself. ’Youre gonna make breakfast for me too?’’ charlie asked while putting his hand on my shoulder and staring at me making my own breakfast, i looked into his eyes ‘’you think?’’ I said, picked up my plate and took a seat behind the dinner table where matt was studying how big crater a bit of cereal with milk would make in his bowl he smiled teasely at me ‘’dont worry i wont chuck cereal over you’’ he said ‘’but really it was Charlie’s idea’’ he explaint i gave him a angry look and poured myself some tea, ‘’what are you going to do today?’’ matt asked when charlie didnt answer i assumed that matt was talking to me and looked up ‘’work’’ i mumbled ‘’thats what you woke me up for right’’ i said still a bit angry ‘’and i was going to help charlie with getting james and dee back together but i dont know if i still wanna co operate with him’’ i explained looking angry at charlie ‘’come on girl dont be so touchy it was only a joke’’ ‘’Well i didnt think it was funny’’ i mumbled ‘’Ok suit yourself ill get them back together on my own’’ charlie said and took a seat next to me at the dinner table ‘’pass me the sugar will ya’’ he asked i looked at matt and he got the picture, ‘’here ya go chaz’’ he said passing him the sugar ‘’i must say it was funny seeing you all shocked with water dripping all over youre face’’ charlie mentioned while putting some sugar in his tea, matt started laughing and tried to hide it with his hand, charlie just smiled, ‘’im not gonna be angry babe i loved it that you enjoyed my show’’ i mumbled and covered my toast with jam, ‘’but one thing’’ i said while lifting the knife into the air ‘’ill get you back just be aware of that’’ i stook the knife into the jamjar, picked up my toast and went to the livingroom to catch the last bit of the morning cartoon show. ‘’What are you doing?’’ Charlie asked while coming into his room in his boxers and with a paper white towel round his neck what made his chest look very tanned, ‘’nothing’’ I muttered secretly enjoying my view, I folded the page of my book to make it look like I wasn’t distracted by him, I scanned the next page for nice words I know it sounds weird but it was good for my English to read and translate books a bit, ‘’I cant even dress proper it feels like big brother always someone staring’’ he said while peering into the closet ‘’I wont peek and im not staring im just reading really’’ I mumbled ‘’besides youre not naked so there is nothing to see only youre chest, legs, cute head and arms’’ I said to tease him I folded another page ‘’Yer ok get the message’’ he cuts in ‘’Second besides I have two brothers I know how guy body parts and stuff look like and I had boyfrie…’’ ‘’Ok ok I get the message’’ Charlie laughed ‘’but you never told me you had a brother or summing’’ he muttered while putting on his trousers ‘’I lied then, no wait you didn’t ask me about siblings and stuff but my bros moved out early so I was kinda only child’’ I stared at Charlie his hair was still a bit wet and a few strays where sticking on his face one drip of water fell on his lip and he blow it away, I felt very lucky living with cosmo girls number one fit lad I bought the mag yesterday and found a fold out poster of Charlie, it was quite funny and I had the urge to hang it on the wall but I didn’t know if Charlie liked that, ‘’whats the matter?’’ Charlie asked when he saw me looking at him ‘’are my trousers unzipped or summing’’ he looked down and then looked at the book which I was reading ‘’why the f**k are you folding the pages soon ill have to pay fines because you ruin the books!’’ ‘’Ill pay them’’ I mumbled without thinking ‘’Youre broke’’ ‘’Ow well thanx for reminding me that’’ I mumbled ‘’and there is nothing’’ I added to answer his question I went on with folding pages when there where nice words ‘’would you stop that’’ Charlie asked he pinched me in my shoulders I turned round and a few water drips felt from Charlie’s hair into my face ‘’I think im getting a water phobia’’ I mumbled, ‘’I will stop folding if you go dry youre hair’’ I smiled sweet and started with unfolding the pages for Charlie ‘’should I iron them too?’’ I asked stubborn ‘’If you have time but lets first go to work soon youll blame me for being too late’’ Charlie mumbled an checked his reflection in the mirror he flicked his fingers trough his hair a few times making it fall back into its ‘normal’ position ‘’So the plan will be at four, pick me up from work at 2 o clock please I asked I closed my book and threw it onto my bed ‘’sure’’ he sighed ‘’don’t go throwing with the book please’’ he said and smiled at me ‘’Ok say the plan again’’ I asked in the car while putting of my seatbelt ‘’Well meet each other lets say 4 o’clock straight at the bench in the middle of the park james and me will go there and well meet you and dee’’ Charlie explaint ‘’ok where at dee’s place’’ he said and parked the car ‘’Ok cool im going, then ill see you at 4’’ i gave charlie a hug i dunno why but charlie had these strong arms and i loved hugging him, i made my way to dee’s house to pick her up I smiled when I saw the three where I had an argument with a few days ago it was a nice day not to cold and I was already looking forward to shop I stared at Charlie’s shiny Porsche who just drove away and almost bumped into another three, ‘’that Charlie is so wrong for me’’ I muttered in myself and didn’t notice that dee was already standing outside ‘’Is he?’’ She asked curious ‘’How long are you standing there?’’ I asked ‘’Well first you smiled to a three then you walked into another one and then you mumbled that Charlie was wrong for you, that long im standing up here’’ dee explained she smiled ‘’Aw right’’ I muttered noticing that it would have looked like a physically insane person who ran out of rehab ‘’Well lets go shopping I kinda need some distraction after being so stupid’’ dee muttered and walked to the bus stop nearby, took a seat on the bench and put her bag on her lap ‘’you know I haven’t got enough sleep for two days I miss james so much’’ she muttered while fishing her lip gloss out of her bag ‘’Aw poor you youll get over him’’ I mumbled hoping Charlie’s plan would work, ‘’the bus is here lets go’’ I said while looking for my bus ticket ‘’I want to sit in the back I have bad memories from sitting in the front’’ dee mumbled and made her way to the back, ‘’ow bad memories?’’ I asked surprised ‘’Well james always wanted to sit in front of the bus dunno why but that was something james’’ she explained while putting the ticket into the stamp thing, I took a deep breath and stared at my watch ‘’3 hours’’ I mumbled ,what I thought inaudible ‘’Three hours what?’’ dee asked ‘’Ow nothing just three hours, just like to say that, so what are you going to buy’’ I asked to switch the subject fast ‘’I dunno maybe new shoes, but no van’s, james wears vans maybe I could try high heels for a change’’ ‘’Maybe I thought you loved vans’’ I asked while staring outside realising I asked something wrong because now I will hear the whole james history all over again ‘’I just said james likes vans, he has all kinds and colours so maybe I could buy something else for a change like high heels’’ ‘’You can walk on them?’’ I asked already picturing dee the clumsy girl breaking her ankles ‘’You can walk on them so I can too’’ she said defending herself ‘’Sure lets go check then’’ ‘’Well you lied two pair of vans, you where gonna buy high heels’’ I said being surprised about dee’s choice ‘’Aw….you bought nothing why not?’’ She asked all of a suddon not answering my question ‘’Just not’’ I mumbled ‘’im broke’’, I checked my watch , ‘’lets go to the park my feet really hurt’’ I said when I noticed it was almost 4 o clock, ‘’yer these bags are killing my fingers’’ she said staring at all the things she bought ‘’here you hold a few’’ she passed me two bags,’’ right now my hands gotta suffer’’ I moaned I looked up and saw james and Charlie walking opposite us just as planned,’’omg its james lets go’’ dee said panicked she stopped walking and starred like she was going to be attacked by a tiger, ‘’come on its only james’’ I mumbled ‘’hey Charlie james what are you guys doing here?’’ I asked like I didn’t know about the plan ‘’just shopping’’ james muttered trough chips crumbs he looked very interested in the bag to avoid dee ‘’I really have to sit down for a sec’’ Charlie said he first gave me a kiss and then took a seat onto the bench I took a seat next to him and we both stared to james and dee who where staring at the ground ‘’well you gonna stand there all day?’’ I asked dee looked up and took a seat next to Charlie and james took a seat at the other edge next to me, this wasn’t working I looked at Charlie, ‘’what did you guys bought?’’ I asked to start a bit of a convo, ‘’some cd’’ james mumbled he looked up, rummaged into a plastic bag and showed me the cd ‘’cool’’ I muttered not knowing which band it was and by staring at the cover I still didn’t notice the lads with the guitars, ‘’I bought a shirt’’ Charlie muttered, ‘’wait is that that new band?’’ dee snatched the cd out of my hand and stared at the cover ‘’these guys are so fab!’’ she said ‘’I know’’ james mumbled a bit shy ‘’It’s the new one right’’ she stared at the back and looked at it like she was holding a new designed mobile phone ‘’Yer it also has a few bonus songs on the second cd’’ james explained, I thought it was quite funny a cd could make them talk to each other again ‘’This band is like….no wait it’s a mix of blink 182, good charlotte and uh..’’ dee was searching for words ‘’Metalicca’’ james added dee nodded her head ‘’it’s a weird combo but they rock, you know james its……’’she stopped her sentence and noticed she was talking to james, james looked at her ‘’you know isn’t this set up I mean we accidentally meet in a park same hour same day’’ james said and looked at us ‘’Well now you mention it we have to go to the….uh’’ I stood up ‘’Dentist er we both have to go to the dentist double appointment’’ Charlie smiled graphed my hand and pulled me with him leaving james and dee surprised behind ‘’Hey wait a sec how do I get back home?’’ james jelled ‘’The bus mate!’’ Charlie jelled back by the look on james face he didn’t like it but surprisingly he went on with talking to dee ‘’So guess it will work’’ I said after a will out of breath, ‘’I think so you know I have good news for you’’ he started and wraphed his arm around my waist, ‘’and that’s’’ I asked fiddling with the buttons of his shirt ’Im going away on Friday for a week’’ he said fast ‘’youll have the place for yourself’’ Ok and that suppose to be fun a week not pretending to be youre girlfriend a week no fake kisses a week no hugs that’s no fun!! I wanted to jell but I tried to look like a girl who just heard that her parents went on holiday for a week and she could hold a garden party, ‘’cool’’ I smiled ‘’really’’ ‘’Glad youll like it where going on a small tour’’ he explained while walking further ‘’I think its gonna be fab playing for a huge crowd’’ ‘’Cool’’ I repeated I was out of words for a few minutes and all I could say was cool how could I survive a week without him, wait I wasn’t his girl or something and I didn’t love him so a week without him was cool, yes it is I insisted myself, ‘’hey are you still there?’’ Charlie interrupted my thoughts ‘’Yer im here sorry’’ I mumbled ‘’what did you ask?’’ ‘’Wanna walk on the beach its nice weather and I could use some fresh air’’ he proposed ‘’Sure why not’’ I mumbled absent and took a seat in his car the whole ride I stared outside maybe I should tell him what I felt I wondered hes only going for a week d**n im overreacting I looked at Charlie who was looking at the traffic trough his sunglasses ‘’I forgot to tell, tomorrow is another party from those posh people’’ The first name that came into my mind was Johnny; ‘’o gosh you think Johnny will be there’’ I asked ‘’Johnny? Think so he is sanne’s brother why ya asking you cant wait to see him back?’’ Charlie looked a bit hurt and I loved it maybe I could make him jealous instead ‘’Maybe, maybe not I dunno’’ I stutterd and inhaled the fresh sea smell from outside ‘’I don’t think he fits by you I mean hes not youre type’’ Charlie explained like he knew ‘’He isn’t??’’ I said and looked up interested, Charlie put off his glasses and tossed them onto the back seat, ‘’no I think..’’ he stopped his sentence ‘’You think what? whats my type of guy then?’’ I asked curious soon he was gonna mention some weirdo or an full with tattoo and piercing lad ‘’Someone like….er……me’’ he smiled and all of a suddon looked very interested in the traffic ‘’Like you?’’ I repeated ‘’why like you’’ I asked I was really in the mood to be annoying ‘’Just because you need someone who isn’t that perfect I mean who has bad habits where you can moan about’’ he explaint ‘’Ow right was that a compliment? and by the way youre taken’’ I mumbled almost sad ‘’That’s right’’ he grinned when he said that I really wanted to cry coudnt he just say: ‘ill dump her for you because youre lots better than the posh sanne ever will be’, I already fantasised him saying that and went on with staring outside ‘’Will you miss me?’’ he asked all of a suddon ‘’Yess ill die without you!!’’ I said annoyed ‘’Wow sorry d**n youre touchy’’ Charlie mumbled ‘’I am and ill miss matt and james’’ I smiled teasely ‘’By the way you havent told me about that fantastic plan of yours’’ i mentioned ‘’Ill tel you when we get home where gonna tell matt james and dee too because we need them for the plan’’ charlie explained while wrinkling his nose ‘’Big plan then im curious where gonna do plan b on the party tomorrow right? At the next posh party, to be honest i kinda liked it weird but nice people and the house of him really beautiful’’ i explained tossing a candy wrapping out of the car window ‘’You always toss everything out of the car window?’’ charlie asked while looking behind to park the car on a right way, ‘’yes there goes our lovely environment, i love ruining the nature’’ i muttered sarcastically and opent the car door i graphed my purse and noticed that my phone was ringing, ‘’who could that be?’’ charlie said mysteriously while putting on his von dutch cap,’’ i dunno’’ i looked at the receiver and noticed it was dee, ‘’hello its dee you know nice plan to get us back together but the bus isnt going i mean they switched it and we have to weat for two hours right now so could you please pick us up’’ dee said ending her story with a deep breath ‘’But we just arrived at the beach cant you just wait’’ i mumbled disappointed i wasnt in the mood to get back in the car and drive for another 20 minutes, ‘’just go and graph a burger with chips somewhere you two could have a nice chat’’ i proposed i heard dee sigh again ‘’james shut up im talking trough the phone’’ she muttered i heard james laugh on the background ‘’sorry that was james being annoying, you wanna say hi james?’’ dee said on sweet tone ‘’Hey soraya where is charlie and why did you leave us’’ james jelled trough the phone, ‘’calm down mate we just wanted you two to make it up ok but anyway take her out for dinner go walk a few blocks im not in the mood to pick you two up’’ i said determined charlie snatched my phone out of my hands and started talking with james he closed his car and dragged him with me while having a convo with james, i was just staring at the sea while listening to james and charlie’s convo on the phone and noticed i was bored, i rummaged into charlie’s jacket pocket and nicked his phone to call james after a few minutes james picked up ‘’with james’’ he said fast ‘’Hey james still talking to charlie’’ i laughed charlie gave me an angry look, i smiled back sweet, ‘’so james how is it with you and dee? Did our plan work’’ i asked curious ignoring charlie who was waiting for james to talk further trough dee’s phone, ‘’well actually kind of so i have to say thanx but i gotta hang up charlie is waiting’’ james mumbled, ‘’i know’’ i grinned ‘’hes being quite angry on me i think his face looks moody well anywayz bye james’’ i hung up the phone and winked at charlie who held out his hand for his phone ‘’So what did you need us for?’’ dee said while folding her arms in front of her chest, ‘’yes im curious we never had a group meeting or summing like that’’ matt mentioned he tossed a m&m into his mouth and started chewing with his mouth open he grinned teasly at me and i tossed one m&m against his head, james was playing a little jam song on his guitar while staring interested at charlie, ‘’well we need you all for charlie’s plan’’ i mumbled i took a seat on the edge of the sofa so i woudnt look like a midget with my 5.6 next to the 6.4 charlie ‘’Plan?’’ Dee blurted out ‘’Well me and soraya arent a couple’’ charlie started ‘’Really’’ matt muttered ‘’what are you two then i mean……..i dont understand’’ matt said troubled ‘’We faked the whole thing the plan was to get sanne back soraya helped me with that we had to make her jealous’’, dee narrowed her eyes and james stopped playing, ‘’you mean you lied to youre friends?’’ James said offended ‘’For a while yes, but it was just to get sanne back’’ charlie explained ‘’And did it work?, im quite confused right now i mean you two looked so sweet together’’ dee said and laid her hand on james shoulder james looked at her hand like it was some spider and dee pulled her hand back and tried to find a place where she could lean against ‘’Well we need you guys for the next plan’’ i added and looked at charlie ‘’only i dont know what the plan is’’ i made a gesture to matt and he passed me a few m&m’s ‘’Ok the party is tomorrow and where all invited the problem is sanne thinks me and soraya are a happy couple so we gotta break up some way, if she fakes that she cheats on me with someone else…’’ charlie looked at matt when he said someone else and matt frowned thoughtfully, ‘’we should let sanne cought you two and then shell tell me’’ ‘’And whats my rol you made scripts? Charlie Spielberg’’ dee joked ‘’Ill tell sanne to go to you because you wanted to talk to her and there will she find soraya cheating on me with matt’’, Matt looked again troubled, ‘’so er what should i do with soraya shag her in the hallway?’’ Matt looked at me, ‘’no way’’ i jelled ‘’You could just kiss and stuff’’ charlie proposed ’Right kiss and stuff’’ matt mumbled ‘’come on soraya lets practise our scene’’ matt grinned cheekily, ‘’forget it hun’’ i tossed another m&m against his face, ‘’you know we should get an oscar for this’’ i mumbled’’i can see it in front of me’’ james tapped his fingers onto the table ‘’and the winner is….’’.he started ‘’soraya and matt for ‘kissing and stuff’ he laughed ‘’Thank you’’ matt stood up ‘’i really feel….i mean im so…..just a second i have to cry’’ matt waved his hand in front of his face and graphed a tissue ‘’soraya you speak i mean this is so emotionally’’ matt held his hand for his chest and made place for me, ‘’well id like to thank matt and Charlie James and dee love you girl, without these people i coudnt have made it in this hard world’’ i snatched the hairbrush from the table and held it in my hands like it was the oscar statue ‘’i mean this thing looks like a hairbrush but i still think it is an honour to get something like this’’ matt started laughing and dee nicked the hairbrush/oscar out of my hands charlie smiled and looked at our great performance, but charlie got his will and next day on the party we went to the sets of our movie, the party was stuffed with posh people but also had a dance floor for the younger people so they could get their feet on the dance floor as soon as the beats started exploding out of the speakers, luckily there where no journalist and the party was held in some huge castle kind of house in the middle of a wood, after chatting with sanne and reuniting with Johnny who still had his eyes on me every second. I went to the ‘loo’s’ and as said in the script i met matt in the hallway and ringed dee to call charlie that we where ready for acting, ‘’well good luck’’ matt laughed and wrapped one arm round my waist the other one he moved on my back under my shirt so it would er.. look like we where really getting it on, in the corner of my eye i could see sanne walking into our direction and matt started kissing me passionately as possible, sanne noticed us and gave us a disgusted look when she noticed it was me she raised her eyebrow from shock and surprise and walk trough fast when she was out of sight matt let go of me, ‘’i think the mission is accomplished’’ i grinned ‘’think so too’’ matt grinned he graphed my hand and we walked back to charlie’s table, ‘’so how did it go?’’ he asked when we both took a seat, ‘’great’’ matt laughed ‘’we sucked the live out of each other as said in youre script’’ matt explained and graphed a glass of champagne of a tray, I looked round in the room and noticed Johnny chatting with some guy when he noticed me he smiled, finished his convo and walk into our direction he looked amazingly fit in his black jeans and white shirt and I honestly coudnt take my eyes of him, ‘’so guys howz it going?’’ he said when he arrived at the table ‘’fine’’ matt muttered taking a sip of his champagne, ‘’the same’’ Charlie added giving Johnny a ‘not welcome’ look what gave me even more the urge to have a chat with him, ‘’you mind if I steal her from you’’ Johnny grinned showing his flashy white teeth, he put out his hand and I took it we both barged past the dancing crowd to the bar where we took a seat, Johnny ordered two drinks, ‘’how are you’’ he asked interested ‘’im fine thanx’’ to be honest I wasnt In the mood to have an ordinary chat with Johnny, ‘’you didn’t call me’’ he said like I dumped him after the first date which actually never had, ‘’I know I was busy’’ I lied ‘’so I heard a rumour’’ Johnny started, ‘’and the rumour is’’ I asked wanting to know what it was ‘’well my sis told me just a few minutes ago that she saw you with that dark haired guy with the earring..’’ ‘’matt’’ I improved, ‘’matt.., just the same anyway she saw you two kissing and kissing Is expressed in a soft way’’ ‘’and?’’ I mumbled like it was legal to kiss someone else while having a relationship with another guy, but hey, I had to act like I was a sl*t who cheated on Charlie it was my part in kissing and stuff I smiled on a b*tchy way picked up my drink and wanted to walk away but Johnny stopped me, ‘’I don’t mind you cheating on the blond fella I can understand why he wasn’t enough for you but if you wanted someone else all you had to do is pick up that cell phone of yourse and call me’’ he grinned and I really had the urge to slap him in his sweet adorable heartthrob face I took a deep breath but it didn’t help I still had the urge to knock out his flashy white teeth but matt interrupted my killer thoughts he put an arm around me and told me I had to go back to the table because dinner was about to be served, ‘’well Johnny nice talking to you’’ I muttered and walked away I saw that Johnny wanted to say something but I didn’t want to hear his crap anymore he was just a player who thought he was perfect which he was in looks, but from the inside he was trashy, ‘’so what did pretty boy had to say?’’ Charlie asked ‘’Just something’’ I mumbled and picked up a servet to fold it into something weird, I always did that when I was angry or bored, ‘’hey Charlie mind if we join you’’ I heard sanne say I turned around and stared into Johnny’s blue eyes I had the urge to stand up and run away as fast as I could, is he gonna follow me all day? I asked myself sanne gave me a dirty look and I smiled because she obviously felt sorry for poor Charlie and I knew for sure that she would pass the cheating info trough to Charlie, that way charlie’s plan would work and he would ‘dump’ me and go back with her, because trough dinner and dessert sanne was obviously flirting with charlie, she laughed about his jokes smiled sweet, played with her food while eating little bits and every minute i was wondering why she dumped him at the first place, she loved him he loved her and to make myself miserable i loved him and had to stare at their flirting game for two hours, matt was kinda bored and stared around, when he noticed that there where a few instruments on stage matt graphed his chance and jammed with the other artists now everyone was having fun except me and Johnny, i almost forgot about him but he was sitting next to me although i ignored every attempt he tried to make and i didnt look a side because i would look at him that way It was actually my stupid own fault because i kinda let him know that i was interested which i was in the beginning before he revealed his snob side, after looking at the design wallpaper for about an hour i wanted to go home and luckily dee came up to me to rescue me, ‘’hey girl hows life?’’ she asked when i walked to another room where you could talk properly, i sighed deeply and stared at her, ‘’that bad?, i think the plan worked but the party is dull i fell asleep at the other table that guy was talking my ears of my head, james went home earlier because he had some appointment with the manager, you know im with my car i could drop you home im not gonna stay here to the end’’ dee explained looking for her car keys, ‘’Thats cool ill tell charlie im off’’ I felt a cold hand on my cheek and got a big shock because i forgot where i was i opent my eyes and stared into two hazel brown eyes, ‘’calm down its just me’’ charlie said i looked around and noticed i fel asleep on the sofa, ‘’sorry for waking you, you looked sweet sleeping’’ he grinned and took a seat next to me, i rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and took a seat position, ‘’how was youre night?’’ I asked but actually didnt wanna know about his perfect love fairy tail with sanne, ‘’fine she told me about you cheating on me with matt’’ he grinned again and flicked his hand trough his hair, ‘’i heard you two where kinda close’’ he explained and looked at me hoping to hear an answer ‘’That was the meaning right’’ i said a bit annoyed ‘’i mean we where ‘kissing and stuff’ i laughed hearing the made up title of our so called Oscar winning movie ‘’Im going to sleep have to pack tomorrow and perform at totp’’ charlie moved of the sofa and stretched his arm ‘’goodnight girl’’ he gave me a kiss on the cheek ‘’thanks for helping with everything’’ ‘’No problem’’ I mumbled sad ‘’Cool house right?’’ Charlie asked while steering me by the shoulders towards the living room, ‘’i agree its fab wish i could buy a place like this’’ i said looking at the empty rooms, his new house was big, huge, it was like a MTV crib apartment only without the huge tv and the furniture, ‘’i think im gonna make a music room or a room for my cds and guitars, which room should i take?’’ Charlie was walking round the room making all kinds of gestures and idea’s how to decorate the rooms, ‘’you should’’ i agreed ‘’but im freezing up here lets go home i gotta go to work in….’’ i checked my DKNY watch 1 hour ‘’but i truly love youre house its fab’’ i headed to the door ‘’Thanx, youre gonna help me move in right?’’ He followed me outside and proudly revealed the keys of his apartment to close the front door ‘’Well maybe ill paint the walls’’ i laughed and looked for my phone, ‘’Who are you calling?’’ charlie asked curious, sometimes it annoyed me he really wanted to know everything, with every move i made he needed an explanation, ‘’Am, i just had this idea about promoting some new band and i have to call her the idea just slipped into my mind and i dont wanna forget it’’ i explained ‘’You always have idea’s’’ he reminded me. when i didnt have a job i already had lots of ideas for different things now i work at the record company i have so many ideas that Charlie’s house was full with sticky notes, my notes mixed up with james notes which he always left after rehearsing and that way i couldnt find my notes so ringing Am was the new way to tell my ideas. it really looked like i was getting married with charlie because he dragged me with him to every ‘do it yourself’ and decoration shops for wallpaper, curtains and all the home and kitchen stuff, i even had a say in kitchen choice, it was Charlie’s home but he had to have a ‘female opinion’ in it, he thought that would make his home perfect i thought that was weird but i loved choosing furniture so it was cool, the only little problem was that we almost had a fight about the carpet for in his bedroom, i thought it was a gay colour and he felt offended after almost an half hour holding up the store Charlie was convinced and that was when a gay kinda guy said that he loved the colour this week i was in a gossip newspaper: ‘introduced: Charlie Busted’s new girlfriend’ i thought it was funny but the fact that everything was fake made me feel sad and we had to look out for the press because all the acting was fake for us but in ‘newspaper way’ it was new hot gossip. Charlie’s plan worked out by the way, he and sanne where back together, at least they dated a lot and i had to run away and hide every time she came round because as ex girlfriend it wouldn’t look ‘ex’ if i still lived at his place which i did, and one time i even had to hide in the closet! It felt like Charlie really dumped me and was heartbroken for about a week, i insisted myself to get over him and told myself several times that charlie would never love me, not that it really helped but at least i tried and i thought i could forget him in the week he was on tour ‘’Hes probably calling sanne every day saying he loves her’’ i muttered inaudible when Am asked about charlie, ‘’You really love him do you?’’ am asked while painting her nails bright red ‘’Maybe’’ i sighed ‘’but anyway could you pass me the popcorn?’’ i asked reaching out my hand showing i couldn’t reach it, Am, Gemma and i where having a girly night, Am organised it because she said i looked miserable and sad and i had to be cheered up, i told her all about me and charlie and that i still had a huge crush on him, she was shocked when she heard about it and dragged me with her to the city to shop a whole new wardrobe, after that we went to a chique place to eat with Danny Gemma and Harry, after that Gemma had a almost emotionally goodbye scene with Harry because Harry went on a holiday for a week and Gemma couldn’t live without him, at least that was what she explained Am and me, she acted like Harry was sent to a war and they said goodbye like the scene of pearl harbour where Ben Affleck leaves his girl before he leaves with the train, now she was staring outside looking at her watch every second saying things like: ‘its 7 o’clock the plane arrived’ or ‘5 o’clock Harry boarded’, Am and me just mumbled ‘yes Gemma’ every time and watched Charlie’s dvd collection at 4 am the phone rang and i wasnt in the mood to pick it up because the killer was going to find his next victim and i had to know who was next, without moving my eyes from the screen i shuffled to the phone and picked up ‘’hey hey’’ charlie almost yell trough the phone ‘’Its 4 am didnt you notice?, i could be sleeping you could have woken me up’’ I said dramatically ‘’But i didn’t, did i?’’ ‘’Nope, you didn’t’’ i sighed ‘’so howz the tour?’’ ‘’Cool al those screaming fans, im really exhausted we gave 100% no wait more, all those banners, those kids are really rude but its really cool playing for all those people’’ he talked kinda fast and i had a bit of a problem understanding everything he said but i thought it was sweet that he called, ‘’why dont you go to bed when youre so exhausted or are you partying?’’ I saw it in front of me; Charlie and matt sitting in the hotel wrecking the place while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes or other things and James jumping round like a monkey and making fool of himself ‘’Nah just a bit chatting with people but i will go to bed mum’’ he laughed ‘’anyway hows my house?’’ he asked like a worried father ‘’I think youre house is fine, i didnt ask the furniture yet but the rest is fine’’ ‘’You stole something?’’ ‘’Shut up i didnt what is there to steal i wont go walking in youre trousers’’ i laughed by the thought of me wearing his trousers they where too long for me i think i could totally fit in them, ‘’i cant lift youre tv its to heavy i could steal youre radio though but it would look suspicious if i walked with youre stereo installation over the streets and i dont think the criminal circuit will give me lots of money for it’’, i heard charlie laugh at the background ‘’you really think i thought you where stealing stuff?’’ he asked ‘’and if you would i know where to find you the streets are the only option for you’’ he said on a mean way ‘’Well thanx that nice of you to say im watching youre dvds i had nothing to do and invited Gemma and Am over you dont mind do you?’’ ‘’Off course not as long you don’t wreck the place’’ ‘’I wont but the guy has just killed someone and I missed it so I gotta hang up give my love to matt and jimmy’’ ‘’Ok ill call you tomorrow again ok?, youre all alone in my house’’ ‘’And you think someone would kill me or ill kill myself, drown myself in the bathtub which you don’t have and die lonely or i get robbed’’ ‘’You never know’’ Charlie said serious ‘’Aw dad you dont have to worry i can take care of myself but thanx for being worried, you get enough sleep and play youre guitar and drums and dont forget to eat healthy and enough!’’ i said on a mummy tone ‘’Ok, im really gonna hang up right now’’ charlie laughed ‘’hey take care see ya’’ (Next day also last day on my own or at least without Charlie) I made myself some hot chocolate and decided to go to bed early and read my new book, i changed into my pyjamas and jumped into bed, the big double bed was lot more comfterable than my bed/ gathering of pillows and cushions, but i couldn’t complain at least i had a bed though this one was much better i curled up under the duvet and graphed my book from the closet and read the back, i really had to stop reading sob love stories but the books where became such an addiction, they helped you put you’re mind to other things, actually those books where kinda fake; boy meets girl-problems and a happy end but who cares most people wished their lives where like a romantic love story and to be honest who didn’t wanna bump into a guy on the streets and finding out that he is not only romantic but also caring and all that cheesy stuff i opent the book and got disappointed; reading little letters was harder than i thought i hated reading books with small letters, id rather have those books from primary school with letters the size of an smartie, all the letters where dancing in front of my eyes, maybe i wasnt in the mood to read i thought staring trough the room finding another thing to survive the boredom, the sheets and the pillow still smelled like charlie, a mixture of hair gel and his perfume, gosh i missed him what was i thinking starting a fake relationship with such a great guy i had to get him out of my mind i walked to his desk and took a seat, my eye caught the pic of him with sanne, the picture was crumbled he must have thrown it out or summing when we was angry i noticed my sticky note on the screen of his computer: pick up charlie tomorrow morning d**n almost forgot it i had to set the clock because i wasnt the one who could get up early by myself ‘’Omg im late!’’ I squealed when i stared at the clock the sh*tty thing didnt wake me up i jumped out of bed and took a 50 sec shower, i was so late i promised Charlie i would pick him up with his beloved car and now i am like an half hour late the poor lad must be tired and standing between fans waiting for me, why couldn’t he just take a cab, I jumped into my jeans and t-shirt and brushed my teeth while doing my hair, trust me you don’t wanna know how I did it, and as always I couldn’t find the car keys and had to look in every hole of the house for it ,at the same time I toasted some bread and when I found the keys I put the bread in my mouth graphed my jacket and ran outside noticing I wasn’t wearing shoes, so after about one hour of running and swearing in the car because there where traffic jams I found Charlie sitting with his hat almost over his face hoping that not many people noticed him, outside with his bags surrounding him, and two fans asking for an autograph, ‘’er hi’’ I stuttered feeling very stupid for letting the poor thing wait for 1 hour and an half ‘’Who are you again?’’ he mumbled he graphed his bags and walked to his car, ‘’keys’’ he muttered while putting the bags on the ground I tossed him the keys and tried to make up something terrible like ‘I drove into a car or I drove into a old lady’ he opent the boot threw his bags in and flipped the lid shut with his foot, ‘’I should leave you here’’ he muttered and opent the door for me (what a gentleman) ‘’im so sorry Charlie really, please don’t be that angry!’’ I begged while fasten my seatbelt ‘’you can give me any punishment’’ ‘’any?’’ ‘’Well its gotta be a normal one’’ I improved ‘’So its not any’’ he said while removing his hat and rearranging his hair, he checked himself in the car window and then started the engine ‘’Just make up something ill do the dishes’’ I tried Charlie smiled and looked at me ‘’you already do them, you know what lets go out tonight I mean have dinner’’ he proposed ‘’Have dinner?’’ I repeated ‘’I don’t know if youre girlfriend would allow that I mean I am youre fake ex girlfriend she would freak out and dump you again when she see us’’, ‘’Come on im just having a proper meal with my little sis she wont mind and if she minds who cares, I just want a chicken curry’’ ‘’ and I want that other dish I just don’t know how its called’’ I added ‘’I want the curry’’ charlie said to the waiter i think he said that for 20000 times in his whole live he always took the curry, not that i mind but he just coudnt try something else, charlie took over my menu card and gave it to the waiter, ‘’coming up’’ the waiter smiled kind and made his way to the kitchen ‘’wine?’’ Charlie asked while pouring some for himself ‘’Why not’’ i mumbled absent ‘’but not that much’’ i stared at the glass while charlie was filling it ‘’ok enough thanx’’ i picked it up and took a sip while i stared at the weird shaped candle in the middle of the table and noticed i wasnt looking at it but at Charlie instead he looked so handsome his eyes where shiny from the candlelight and although he wasnt wearing a posh dress he still looked amazingly fine in his t-shirt, long jacket and jeans, i felt Charlie’s hand on mine and noticed he was talking to me ‘’a penny for youre thoughts’’ he smiled sweet and i pulled my hand back ‘’i want 25 pounds for my thoughts’’ i joked and forced a smile on my face ‘’im hungry’’ i mumbled to brake the silence in some way we just couldn’t get along like normally most of the times we had arguments, long talks about stupid things only tonight it was like we where on our first date and i hated it because i was in the mood to talk, if i cant talk enough i have the feeling im gonna explode i had to tell my crap stories to someone so i made some talk subject up fast ‘’so you met some cool celebs or summing on tour?’’ ‘’Well not really only mcfly’’ he laughed ‘’there nice lads, they organised a party just for fun, its Saturday wanna come with me?’’ ‘’Why not’’ ‘’Lets go to a gig’’ charlie proposed when we where standing outside the restaurant, ‘’what gig we dont have tickets or summing’’ i said i got annoyed by the sound that my heels made on the pavement it was a horse sound and i hated it ‘’i dont need tickets i can get in for free i know a few people up there i used to go to lots of gigs’’ he smiled and started walking, he rummaged in his pockets and revealed a cigarette package ‘’youre nervous’’ i assumed, ‘’no i just need a cigarette, i dont need a reason to smoke’’ he explained and lit his cigarette, ‘’right’’ i sighed ‘’so where are we going’’ i was getting curious because i had no idea where charlie was heading to and i followed him like a brave puppy, ‘’theres a gig in a venue round the corner’’ ‘’Gosh look at the queuing’’ i said panicked when i saw people with red noses from the cold who where for hours standing in front of the venue door, ‘’dont worry’’ charlie said and dragged me with him to the front, some girls noticed him and started jelling his name, ‘’eey mate back again, go in’’ the security guy said with a nice-to- see-you-smile he gave charlie a friendly clap on the shoulder and made a gesture that he could enter the venue then he gave me a you-are-not-allowed-to-go-in-yet look ‘’shes with me’’ charlie explained and the glare of the security guy changed into a kind smile i smiled back and charlie dragged me with him inside ‘’V.I.P’’ i mumbled surprised by our red carpet entrance and walked into the venue, the band played loud guitar music and at this moment there was a mind-blowing guitar solo the crowd went wild and jumped holes into the ground ‘’Cool band’’ charlie mumbled while ordering some drinks and leaning against the bar, i looked on stage to study new band faces and looked right into deans eyes he looked back and almost forget the lyrics of his song He looked pretty bad; his eyes where red and sleepy and it looked like he also lost some weight, his boy band looks didnt change though he did painted his hair black (it was dark brown first) i never saw dean as a rock ‘kinda’ guy he had boyband looks and even if he painted his face white he still looked like he just sang ‘cant breath easy’ while walking ‘boy bandly’ in the snow, he worn stone washed jeans with a black shirt what made his face look a bit pale he held his black guitar tight the silver tribal drawing which i made was stil on his guitar i thought he would have bought a new guitar by now but as i saw he stil loved his fave guitar, the one his father gave him and the one i improved with a weird drawing he loved, his amazing rock voice went trough the venue, after playing 5 songs which i co wrote by the way, he jumped of the stage and headed into my direction avoiding the screaming girls and autograph asking lads, ’’long time ago’’ he said with a deep voice a black stray of hair fell in front of his eyes and he put a tooth stick (?) in his mouth he stared at me and then looked at charlie, ‘’you two are together?’’ he asked, ‘’no’’ i mumbled short ‘’Well im glad i found you, you where gone all of a suddon’’ he explained ‘’Í was thrown out my house you still didnt notice by now?’’ ‘’I was on a holiday in Greece for a month i didnt know a thing, i did ask some people, anyway i wanted to say sorry for hurting you so much i wanted us to split up as friends’’ he explained ‘’Right, well we obviously didn’t’’ i added ‘’No its a shame where do you live now?’’ ‘’At his place’’ i pointed at charlie like i was pointing at the teddy which i wanted to have in a toy store ‘’Youre…..charlie the guy from busted right?, i know you i mean from tv’’ ‘’thats me’’ charlie added taking a sip of his beer, the coolest thing about dean was that he didnt give a d**n what other people thought about him if some guy said ‘dean sucks hes crap’ dean would say that it was cool that the guy made effort to remember his name and then made up another name for him, he could also annoy people if he had something to say, he had to say it straight away so if you where making out or summing he would rudly disturb you and get it of his chest he wouldnt even say sorry, ‘sorry’ wasnt in his vocabulary ‘’Im dean’’ dean said fast ‘’Right you where the sucker’’ charlie remembert ‘’Sucker?’’ Dean repeated and looked at me ‘’so you did mention me girl’’ he laughed, ‘’I had this question since you wrote a lot with me when we where together, i wanted to ask you if you still wanna help me, we are getting signed and we need a co writer, the first one i thought of was you, the songs will be on our album youll name will be mentioned and youll get money for it’’ he added ‘’so’’ i coudnt refuse the offer, doing something you like and getting mentioned and paid for it was cool, ‘’off course should we make an appointment or something like that?’’ i asked ‘’I dont have youre phone number’’ dean mumbled while picking up a napkin to write on, ‘’i think you have a pen, am i right?’’ dean grinned ‘’Always’’ i peered into my purse and fished a pen out, ‘’let me write it down for you’’ i said and wrote down my number on the napkin ‘’I promise i wont wipe my mouth with it’’ dean laughed and flicked his hand trough his black hair, a tall skater guy tapped on deans shoulder, ‘’we have to play mate’’ he mumbled a bit inaudible, dean nodded and looked back at us, ‘’gotta go play a few songs’’ he winked at me ‘’il call you ok, nice meeting you charlie’’ it annoyed me that dean said ‘charlie’ on a exaggerated posh tone, he ran back, crawled back on stage and plugged in his guitar ‘’I dont like him’’ charlie said while looking at me over the rim of his glass ‘’I noticed’’ i laughed and picked up my glass from the bar ‘’The band of youre ex boyfriend really rocks to be honest’’ charlie said after the gig ‘’I know all those guys, they learned me a few drum and guitar skills’’ i said proud, ‘’i could get ya a cd for free he can sign it for you’’ i joked ‘’Well id like to have a cd but deans signature will ruin the cd, so no thanks’’ ‘’You know the drummer of the band died last jear’’ i mentioned ‘’Really?, you knew him well?’’ Charlie looked interested ‘’It was my cousin, i didnt know him well, i used to think he was freaky sometimes when he felt sad he calmly pulled a Stanley knife from his back pocket and scratch a line down his forearm, he loved the colour of blood, i once asked him if he didnt feel pain, he just said that it became numb after a while, but not interesting’’ i said fast ‘’Thats bad’’ charlie mumbled ‘’he was a good drummer?’’ ‘’The best, he played in several bands most underground bands, luckily he had time between making art on his arms to learn me his killer drum skills’’ ‘’Cool’’ charlie turned up the volume of his cd player ‘’How can you listen to this, its so depressing if i stay here much longer i think ill go get a knife’’ i moaned while flicking the page of my book ‘’I think its good music’’ charlie mentioned he took a seat next to me on his bed ‘’so tell me how was youre week al alone in my house?’’ charlie asked I pulled my knees up to my chin and lead my head on my knees, ‘’just as always only no charlie matt and james’’ i peered at charlie from the corner of my eye ‘’no wait!’’ i almost jumped up ‘’i got promotion, mr Judd said he liked my ideas and im gonna earn more money’’ i said with a big grin across my face ‘’Thats great! See i told you, you could do it’’ he put an arm behind my back and pulled me a bit closer to him, ‘’im really proud i mean you almost worked yourself out of youre debts not everyone could do that as fast as you, Youre not the drunk and homeless girl anymore which i met at the bar’’ he said like i met him after 20 jears and noticed that i wasnt a crazed teenager anymore, ‘’yer thats true maybe i overreacted i didnt think i was capable in doing things that great’’ i smiled arrogant ‘’Well dont go thinking youre the queen of the world yet’’ he warned ‘’I was just kidding babe’’ i teased charlie, ‘’you know….’’ he started all of a suddon ‘’i really love you’’ Ok wait a second i think my ears are bad or i was getting deaf i looked at charlie his eyes lit up, ‘’er i mean i love you like my little sis’’ he stutterd i wished i could stop the tape and rewind it, then cut the little sis part out and play it over, ‘’thanx bro’’ i forced a smile on my face charlie planted a friendly kiss on my cheek what made me shiver in a positive way, i closed my eyes trying to catch some rest ‘’How is youre music career actually?’’ charlie asked disturbing a cool song where i tried to listen to, ‘’bad’’ i smiled ‘’but im gonna write songs again for dean and playing guitar?, i think ill pick that up when im back on track, you know i didnt improve my life yet’’ i mumbled ‘’No? Why not’’ ‘’I still live with you, youre a bad influence’’ i grinned In the middle of the night i tried to turn, to lay on my other side but i noticed i was stuck, charlie had his arm wrapped around my waist tight and there was no way i could escape, after a few minutes i established to lay on my back without waking charlie i looked aside; charlie looked so cute sleeping but most people looked sweet when they where asleep maybe the biggest criminal would look cute asleep, anyway a few strays of hair where in front of his eyes then he opent his eyes and i almost got a heart attack, ‘’what are you doing awake?’’ he muttered he pulled his hands away from me, ‘’thats why’’ i laughed ‘’i feel sorry for youre teddies i think they all choked after you held them but anyway i fell alseep in youre bed im going back to mine’’ i mumbled and wanted to move of his bed but charlie held my hand firmly ‘’i cant sleep without a teddy’’ he mumbled Next morning i planned to go shopping i took a shower got dressed and picked up my wallet, I heard a few voices in the livingroom and got interested I tried to eavesdrop the convo; ‘you know I so missed you Charlie’ I heard a female voice say, ‘missed you too’ Charlie said not really convincing, I wanted to get a sick bucket and throw up, they where talking cheesy stuff and I got curious I wanted to know who the girl was, when i came into the livingroom i noticed sanne all loved up with charlie on the sofa, she turned round when i tried to close the door soundless, ‘’what are you doing here?’’ she looked at charlie like she cought him with me, ok acting i thought ‘’i forgot something in his house so i decided to pick it up’’ i said semi angry ‘’i have it and im off now’’ i said threw my keys on the ground and walked away, pretty embarrassing i thought cant even live normal in that house, i wasnt in the mood to shop anymore seeing him with sanne like that made me think that I really didn’t make a chance with him he didn’t love me I waved my sad thoughts goodbye as fast as I could I didn’t wanna think about it though I felt really bad and had to find a place to stay for the afternoon, i knew matt was the only one who was quite boring he didnt have a girlfriend didnt do sports and i knew for sure that he would be home at this time, i could go there When i arrived at his flat i rang the bell and after 4 minutes, just when i wanted to go away because i thought he wasnt there, he opent the door ajar ‘’its you come in’’ matt opened the door and let me in ‘’i was taking a shower as you can see’’, matt was only wearing a towel round his waist and water dripped from his black hair onto his shoulders and in his face, ‘’im gonna make myself decent’’ he said on a funny tone and made his way back to the bathroom I took a seat on the sofa and looked around i only been in his house once and that was for 5 minutes, the house was decorated in a total different style then Charlie, matt had a big poster on the door from blink 182, his house was kinda neat for a guy, Charlie’s house was a mess we where both very messy people and that combined made the house look like a pig shed, when I noticed I was thirsty I decided to get myself something to drink in the kitchen, I had to take my words back about the ‘neat house thing’ because the kitchen was a mess I think there was mould growing on some stuff in the fridge and the dishes from last week where still waiting for soap and water to make them shiny again, I peered into the almost empty kitchen closet for a glass and freaked out when matt wrapped his hands round my waist, ‘’don’t do that again you scared me!’’ I jelled shocked ‘’Sorry’’ matt grinned ‘’nice kitchen right?, don’t mind the mess’’ he said while picking up the old pizza carbon and tossing it into the bin, ‘’so why are you here?’’ he asked while snatching the glass out of my hand and pouring me a coke, ‘’well I thought lets go see my fantastic friend again he might feel lonely’’ I said taking over the glass Matt raised and eyebrow and smiled ‘’ok now the true story Charlie thrown ya out?’’ ‘’Not really but he was all loved up with sanne’’ I pulled a disgusted face ‘’and I just cant go back for the afternoon I think sanne was really surprised to see me’’ I took seat onto the sofa ‘’I understand so you thought lets go bother matt’’ ‘’Something like that’’ I agreed ‘’you don’t mind do you?’’ ‘’Off course not, make yourself at home only im gonna order kebab for tonight my cooking inspiration has stopped for a while’’ ‘’The inspiration never existed’’ I added ‘’Something like that’’ he grinned ‘’You want a drink?’’ matt asked while coming into the living room he jumped onto the sofa and graphed the full bottle off the table ‘’Sure why not, you know we could play a drinking game’’ i proposed i used to do those games very often when i was on high school it was great fun although at the end of the nigh everybody was so p*ssed that they coudnt walk anymore ‘’Yer i kinda like doing something stupid’’ he laughed and tossed me a glass, he first filled his and then mine till the rim of the glass and started the drinking game, ‘’ok cheers mate’’ matt laughed After a while we already started doing weird things matt challenged me to open the window and scream stupid things outside which i did because i was normally stupid enough and with a few drinks i wasnt normal anymore and did lots of silly things, i challenged matt to run around naked outside but he refused and for punishment he had to drink half the bottle on his own, matt went back to the kitchen to get more alcohol there was plenty, matt took a seat on the ground and tossed me a bottle of beer, ‘’so tell me how is it to live with Charlie?’’ he asked ‘’I thought you knew i mean you almost life with us right?’’ i mumbled taking a big sip of my beer, i wasnt in the mood to talk about charlie it felt like we really broke up but that was because i was really in love with the guy and still felt pretty stupid feeling like that. ‘’You know that joke?’’ matt asked while rolling the beer bottle on the floor ‘’No i don’t’’ i laughed matt tried to tell me the joke serious but he couldn’t stop laughing and he looked really silly i leaned against him and drained the last bit of beer, ‘’how is it to be famous?’’ i asked while studying matts brown eyes and noticing i was seriously drunk, ‘’well its great fun but if i walked naked outside i would be Front Page news tomorrow’’ he laughed and moved his arm away what made me fall onto his lap i grinned stupidly and closed my eyes ‘’dont you think i should go home?’’ i mumbled soft ‘’You dont have to i mean you’d never know what you will find up there, maybe sanne is still around’’ matt said with a disgusted glare he dropped his glass onto the ground and bend over he lifted my head a bit so he could kiss me, ‘’you know we could do really stupid things’’ he said and grinned rudely, ‘’we could’’ i agreed and kissed matt back ,i opent the buttons of his shirt and kissed him on his chest on his turn he undressed me ‘’why do you actually wear a belt?’’ i asked when i moved up on him, ‘’to keep my trousers up off course’’ he grinned and threw his belt onto the floor, ‘’right i didnt think of that’’ i said semi serious and unzipped the zipper of his trousers before i actually could realise what i was doing we where laying cosy on each other on the sofa matt gave me another bottle of beer and i opent it noticing to late that i wasnt really thirty so i put the bottle back on the ground, ‘’its already 2 am you dont think that charlie is worried?’’ matt asked while planting several kisses in my neck, ‘’I dont think he cares where i am, he was to busy with his girlfriend when i left’’, i started laughing when i realised that charlie always got worried when i got home late good for him i thought i didnt care ‘’Who cares’’ matt laughed he laid his hand on my cheek and pulled me closer to his face, ‘’you know it sometimes looks like you have green eyes’’ i mentioned, ‘’well they are brown’’ matt mumbled and kissed me passionately, ‘’its kinda cold im gonna put on my clothes’’ i mumbled and moved of matt to look for my clothes i put back on my knickers and my bra but coudnt find the rest, ‘’did you see my shirt and my trousers?’’ I asked matt who was putting on his trousers he shook his head ‘’i cant find my t shirt either’’ he mentioned and jumped back onto the sofa, ‘’well ill look for them later’’ i shrugged and moved back onto matt, matt went on with kissing me but stopped when we heard a sound that looked like someone came in, ‘’you live alone right?’’ i asked while staring into matts eyes, ‘’yer i think so’’ he grinned we both looked up and stared in two stunned hazel brown eyes, ‘’hey…. mate’’ matt muttered ‘’Charlie what are you doing here? its late, its two am’’ i said he looked a bit ashamed finding both of his friends on the sofa with several liquor, and beer bottles on the ground ‘’Ok what the hell is going on here and why arent you wearing clothes?’’ charlie asked ‘’Well i just, we where playing drinking games’’ i confessed ‘’and i coudnt find my clothes anymore’’ matt started laughing and i grinned with him i stood up trying to look for my clothes again ‘’Youre so gonna regret what youve done next morning’’ charlie assumed he picked up my clothes from the floor and pushed them into my hands ‘’get dressed youre going home with me’’ he said a bit angry ‘’Calm down mateage we where only having a bit fun’’ matt explained moving his drunk body of the sofa he scratched his head and started picking up bottles ‘’What if i dont wanna go’’ i mumbled stubborn like a rebel girl who just been caught by her mother with some guy, it was my business what i did i thought, i was a grown up girl and charlie didnt make u a part in my life so, only at the other hand i coudnt think properly and started laughing ‘’Im not gonna leave you here youre stuff are at my place you life there and im going to move out very soon then you have the place for yourself and can invite or go anywhere to have sex on the sofa and get drunk but not when im responsible for you’’ charlie explaint doubting if he said the good things ‘’Responsible? Excuse me im 20 jears old i am mature enough to know whats good for me’’ i said while closing the last buttons of my shirt ‘’Well i dont think you cant screw up youre life again being drunk like this i got complaints from the neighbours up here when i stood in front of the door, and by the way you own me money and i want that back im responsible in some way’’ he said and dragged me with him, ‘’say by to loverboy’’ charlie said rude, ‘’bye matt’’ i laughed matt waved back still stunned by charlie’s motherly act when we where standing in the hallway i got angry ‘’how dare you embarrass me in front of matt like that’’ I jelled I tried to shake his hand of mine but his grasp was too strong, ‘’embarrass?’’ Charlie laughed sarcastically ‘’you where embarrassing yourself’’ ‘’aw right you can get drunk and make out on the sofa with everyone and I cant?, I had to go away only because I couldn’t stay at youre place because of that stupid acting stuff’’ i stopped my sentence thinking about what I just said and that it didn’t really make sense ‘’that’s why I went to matt’’ I added after a while, my eyesight got a bit blurry and I felt dizzy I think I had a over amount of alcohol in my body and I knew I couldn’t stand that much ‘’and you got drunk and landed on the sofa together, youre a stupid girl you know that’’ he said angry and let go of my hand ‘’as if youre so smart’’ I muttered looking at my wrist like I just cut it, a door behind me opent and a old middle-aged lady in tesco pyjamas stood in the door opening, she narrowed her eyes because of the bright light, she looked pretty angry, ‘’cant you kids go to bed! Its 2.30 and I need my rest so go and argue somewhere!’’ else she jelled ‘’f**k off!’’ Charlie and I both jelled at the same time and the woman looked very offended ‘’ill call the police if you wont leave, rude kids!’’ Her eyes spat fire and she almost went inside to get her phone, this was my chance to walk away and I took the staircase down Charlie noticed me walking downstairs and followed me ‘’where do you think youre going?’’ he asked when he noticed I wasn’t walking into the direction of his house ‘’just somewhere’’ I answered stubborn knowing I coudnt knock at someone’s door at 2.30 in the morning ‘’I don’t want you to rule my life leave me alone!’’ I jelled a bit too hard ‘’Im not ruling youre life im trying to help you but youre not really giving in’’ he looked at me for a few seconds and then turned around ‘’sorry for helping you, think I was wrong then’’ he sighed and walked away ‘’Charlie? Wait up’’ I followed him ‘’you cant leave me here’’ I mumbled Charlie gave me a disappointed look and then put his full attention in front of him, ‘’you know im getting really tired of you’’ he mumbled inaudible I felt offended but he was right I was a big pain in the arse, ‘’look im sorry but why are you so angry I mean it was my business’’ I tried to talk slower and a bit calmer so Charlie wouldn’t get angry anymore, he looked up and narrowed his eyes one moment I thought he was going to say something but he made up his mind and decided to go on with ignoring me he rummaged into his pockets fished his key out and opent the door of his apartment I silently followed him into the living room and felt sick tired and ill at the same time, Charlie tossed the keys on the table and then looked at me worried ‘’are you ok? Maybe you could sit down for a second you look a bit pale’’ ‘’Maybe I need to sunbathe for a sec’’ I grinned ‘’but youre rig…ht im just tired maybe I need some sl………..sleep’’ I said fast, my head felt light and the sight of a worried Charlie disappeared slowly, my legs couldn’t hold me anymore and I passed out in the middle of the living room When i woke up i felt even more sick then before i past out, i wished i was asleep again so i wouldnt feel that way, i blinked a few times to get the sleep haze out of my eyes and noticed i wasnt laying on a pillow but on Charlie’s lap, i looked up and saw that charlie fell asleep when he tried to wake me up after i past out; he had a still wet towel clutched into his right hand and leaned in some weird position against the edge of the sofa so he could sleep comfterable i tried to think what happened yesterday but my head ached too much to peer in my memories i closed my eyes trying to relax a bit so i could remember it again, right i was drunk slept with matt, acted like an idiot and passed out because i was too drunk, note: stop drinking, i wrote it up in my memory hoping i wont forget that lesson, i tried to get up but my head felt too heavy and i decided to fall asleep again charlie would throw me of him when he wakes up. ‘’Breakfast’’ i heard charlie say i heard the sound of a plate getting chucked onto the table and the stirring of a sthingy in a cup of strawberry flavoured tea i opent my eyes and it felt like it was my birthday i always got breakfast on bed on my birthday and getting breakfast on the sofa was a new thing i tried to drag myself into a sitting position and charlie pushed the boiling hot cup into my hands i smiled sweet hoping he wasnt moody edgy or angry anymore but at the look on his face it looked like he wasnt in the mood to talk, smile or anything else that symbolised happiness or kindness, i tried to come up with some nice ‘morning talk subject’ but it was hard to think of something i graphed a jam covered piece of toast of the plate and took a bite i noticed i was hungry and started eating two pieces of toast like i didnt have food for ages charlie looked at me thoughtfully, ‘’what?’’ I growled trough the toast crumbs, charlie shook his head ‘’nothing, just nothing’’ he added while flicking his hand trough his hear making it fall into the weirdest position, ‘’er i had this question, why where you so worried about me i mean you did so much for me and i appreciate it but you dont have to become my worried mum and trust me youre hair will turn grey if you where my dad or mum’’ i tried to smile, charlie’s eyes lit up and he looked outside thoughtfully, this moment i wished i could read his mind he was thinking so much that you could almost see the words on his forehead and once again i was overreacting he frowned, picked up an apple and a knife and started to cut the apple skin of ‘’just because i care, i told you i cared for you’’ ‘’Like a sister’’ i added but in some way he didnt wanted me to add that piece and i hoped that meant that he cared for me more than a sister, i put those thoughts behind and concentrated back on the morning convo, it annoyed me that charlie was extremely edgy ‘’why are you so moody?’’ I aksed referring to his acting he stabbed the knife into the apple and looked at me ‘’ouch’’ i mumbled looking at the poor apple who got killed in a cruel way ‘’Im not moody ok!’’ he said annoyed, ‘’im more tired’’ he added realising he was moody he slowly pulled the knife out of the apple and went on with getting the skin of and eating it ‘’Fine with me’’ i mumbled and drained my tea, then the bell rang and charlie looked at me in the ‘will-you- open-that-please’ way ‘’Should i open that?’’ I mumbled sarcasticly and dragged my still affected from the alcahol body to the door when i opent it a almost hyper, energetic matt was standing in front of it, how did he manage to be in such a good condition after a hangover?, i wondered, matt smiled and walked in ‘’forgot my keys’’ he mumbled picking his keys of the little table in the hallway he tucked them into his jacket pocket, ‘’about yesterday’’ he started ‘’About that’’ i sighed ‘’i was drunk’’ i added i really didnt know how to explain it on a different way ‘’That was i wanted to say’’ matt grinned, ‘’lets not make it a big deal right?’’ ‘’I agree we dont reallt fit together as a couple and im not in love with you ore something else complecated’’ ‘’Me neither’’ matt said he smiled baring his cheeky laugh ‘’where is mum?’’ ‘’In the livingroom killing his breakfast hes moody sow youd better look out’’ i warned matt ‘’I can handle him’’ matt laughed and walked inside ‘’mateage how is youre day?’’ matt snatched the toast out of Charlie’s hands and took a bite, ‘’i was going to eat that’’ charlie mentioned staring at his empty hands ’So you two are together?’’ charlie asked to bring back the last night subject ‘’Yes we are going to get married’’ matt joked ‘’no we are not together’’ I added and handed Charlie another toast over so he wouldn’t starve, ‘’right’’ Charlie mumbled, ‘’im going to work Is it save enough for me to come back tonight I mean maybe youre with sanne’’ I asked referring to last night ‘’Off course and I wont be with sanne’’ Charlie mumbled and looked at matt there was an exchange going on between them that I couldn’t understand I just shrugged and made my way to the bathroom ‘’Its terrible you have a performance we cant go without danny’’ mr judd almost jelled to dougie harry and tom who where sitting on the edge of the table with hanging heads ‘’What happened?’’ I whispered in Am’s ear who was enjoying the argument, ‘’danny broke his leg when he did some stupid stunt and the contract says you can do stupid things’’ she whispered back ‘’O gosh the people are going to kill those poor boys, what about danny hows he?’’ ‘’Well my poor honey is at home wish I could go care for him’’ am looked sad and worried about her boyfriend , If I was her boss I would have already sent her home to take care for him Mr judd straightened his hair with his hand and took a deep breath ‘’you guys go fix this I don’t want to get a high blood pressure’’, ‘’don’t worry dad’’ harry gave his dad a friendly shoulder slap ‘’Harry don’t ruin this ok, I want an answer tonight, tomorrow is the performance’’, ‘’owkay’’ the guys muttered at the same time, am hopped to the guys with a mean smile on her face, ‘’just don’t say a thing’’ dougie mumbled ‘’I wont’’ am said offended ‘’who said I was going to?’’ ‘’Maybe you could let danny play while hes sitting, on a wheel chair’’ I proposed harry narrowed his eyes and then looked at me thoughtfully, ‘’it is a good idea the fans would think hes poor, sad danny and wouldn’t blame anyone’’ tom added ‘’So lets order a wheel chair or a normal chair’’ I concluded with a big smile ‘’Ill do that I want my danny to have the best chair ever’’ am barged past us and walked to the phone, ‘’isn’t that sweet?’’ harry muttered when am was already calling several chair company’s, ‘’very’’ I agreed ‘’you and gemma will become like them too you just wait a while’’ I warned him, ‘’sow hows youre love story’’ harry asked referring to my ‘acting with Charlie problem’ he took a seat on my desk chair and gave me a therapist glare ‘’Bad, o gosh I don’t wanna talk about it I screwed it up totally’’ I said sad I fiddled with the flowers who where almost dead anyway ‘’Ow tell me what happened?’’ harry said curious ‘’yer what happened’’ am butted in ‘’Im not gonna tell you that!, youll send it to the paper am youre too dangerous’’ I laughed am gave me an angry look ‘’well don’t tell it then’’ she said and walked away semi disappointed ‘’Party tonight’’ harry said moving the flowers to a safe place, ‘’party’’ I repeated ‘’Hellow??, youre prince didn’t tell you?’’ ‘’What prince?’’ I said sheepish ‘’Charlie’’ harry grinned, ‘’what!, hes not my prince and I remember the party’’ I said ‘’ill be there’’ I added and followed am. The party was kinda cool only I promised myself not to drink and everybody was p*ssed or tipsy and I was the only one keeping it real with my orange juice, everyone offered me a beer and said I had to join their drunk game but I just said I had enough orange juice…….I mean how silly is that? everyone was having fun and I was happy with orange juice??, but if I took too many beers I could get into the same situation as yesterday and I wasn’t in the mood to pass out or something else, ‘’hey girl youre really sure you don’t want a drink?’’ Charlie said while putting his arm around me and pushing his beer bottle into my hands, ‘’no thanx Charlie im fine’’ I mumbled backing of Charlie was so drunk he couldn’t really hold his balance and almost fell onto the floor, I felt really alone between al these drunk people and had the urge to drain some beer and join the party, Charlie waved at dougie and matt and they both walked into our direction ‘’whats up mate?’’ dougie asked he smiled on an overreacted way and took a sip of his beer, ‘’nothing’’ Charlie grinned ‘’do you fancy soraya?’’ he asked all of a suddon, dougie just grinned and matt looked up, ‘’shut up Charlie’’ I said and took a sip of my orange juice I stared around looking for someone who was In a normal condition to have a normal convo with but as i looked around there wasn’t anyone who acted normal, i looked for dee but found her in the back sitting on james lap and they where more kissing than chatting i concentrated back on the silly convo of Charlie, dougie clutched my hand in his, ‘’dont worry youre not my type’’ he grinned, ‘’well lucky me’’ i mumbled semi-relieved and tried to get rid of his warm almost sweaty hand, matt was quite normal in his drunk way he looked in front of him and just wanted to head to the kitchen to re-fill his glass his cheeky grin was glued on his face and i didnt think you could get it of anymore, i took another sip of my drink and wondered how i was gonna survive this night i checked my watch every second what made the night even longer, ‘’you know we should get soraya drunk she will sleep with everyone in that condition’’ charlie mentioned i cough, inhaling half a mouth full of orange juice in to my longs, ‘’excuse me??’’ I said almost chocking in my drink ‘’matt managed to do that’’ charlie added ‘’What the f**k are you on about?’’ i almost jelled ‘’keep youre stories to yourself please’’ i added angry, ‘’Why everybody should know that youre a sl*t’’, this time i wasnt in the mood to talk it out and in a normal reaction i slapped charlie in his face, ‘’go and tell youre pathetic stories im off’’ i made my way outside but forgot to get my jacket it was pretty cold, i felt really offended, i thought charlie was nice what got in to him, i knew he was drunk but even then he didnt had the right to call me a sl*t, like i slept with everyone when im drunk i felt a tear burning in the corners of my eyes, it slowly ran down my cheek and i wiped it away as soon as it reached the end of it, a cold breeze made me shiver, i felt cold and sad, why was i crying anyway he didnt deserve that, i went back to the hallway graphed my jacket and went back outside, i had to wait a while before the cab arrived but i could use some fresh air. I let myself fall on to Charlie’s bed and burst into tears, i was regretting everything; sleeping with matt, starting the whole thing with charlie and falling in love with him, i also tried to think if i overreacted, sometimes you act like an idiot and dont realise it but then notice you where acting like an idiot the next day why did i feel so insulted by someone who was drunk, i stared at my plush dog who’s tong was hanging out of its mouth just like a real dog, i jumped of Charlie’s bed and hugged my dog, i might have looked like a baby but at least a plush-not saying anything back-dog, who couldn’t breath or blink couldn’t offend or insult me, i tried to get myself back together and act like nothing happened, i put on my busted cd on for a change i so loved when the day turns into night, i thought the song was so beatiful that you could cry from it, at least i wanted to cry but I just coudnt get the tears in my eyes, i never cried because of songs or movies i just coudnt even if you wanted, i didnt even cry when leonardo decaprio drowned and frooze in titanic, the only time i cried was when i was little and that was when ren left stimpy, the ren and stimpy show supposed to be funny right?, anyway it was quite a deep song and i loved those kind of songs after a while of wondering the most stupid things I forced myself to sleep. Next morning i noticed i was late again for work, i scrambled myself in to my clothes graphed my purse and clattered down the stairs, my hair was still damp from my 30 second shower and I tried to dry it a bit with a few napkins, while walking outside i stuffed myself with some breakfast which i snatched from the table, i took a deep breath and realised i still felt sad i kinda forget because i was kinda rushed, i peered into my bag and looked for a pack of crackers i could swear that i tucked one in. as always i didnt look where i was walking and bumped into someone, ‘’im so sorry my fault’’ i said fast ‘’Dont mind soraya i know youre clumsy’’ matt grinned ‘’Hey matt sorry i walked into you but i really have to go’’ i walked further ‘’Too late again??’’ ‘’Very’’ i agreed ‘’Charlie wanted to talk to you hes very sorry about yesterday and he wanted to say something else anyway see ya’’ ‘’Bye’’ i waved for a sec and then remembered i was late, ‘talk’ i sighed i hated that word i always made up lines you know those lines you almost practised in youre head before you have to talk to someone, but when i actually had the chance to say it i shortened my lines and forgot all about it I pushed against the heavy iron doors of the office and got a warm welcome from mr judd, ‘’I know im late sorry’’ i apologised when harry’s father glanced at his watch ‘’ill work longer if you want to’’ i added, the little middle aged man who i more saw as harry’s father then my boss mr judd, frowned, ‘’1 hour longer but here is a list with phone calls’’ he over handed me a sticky note like it was a award, ‘’phone calls, must be clients’’ I muttered ‘’I dont think so’’ mr judd said stern ‘’Then not’’ i muttered and opent the note, Charlie, my mother, and several clients, i read it again ‘’my mother?’’ The woman who brought me into this world and made my life miserable doesnt gives a d**n about me and then calls after more than one year, maybe she accidentally dialled my number and then realised she was calling that brat of her ‘’whats on the note?’’ am asked, actually i didnt know it was am at first but when you hear the word ‘what’ or ‘why’ and the sentence is in a ‘question way’ then its am who is dieing to know whats all happening in youre live even if someone just had a phone call about blue carpet she had to know where the carpet was made of and why it was blue, ‘’just people i gotta call’’ i said i went to the stock room to call in private i was very curious why my mum had called, i dialled her number and waited, ‘’hey dear’’ i heard a sprightly voice say ‘’No im not youre 20 years younger money stealing boyfriend’’ i said rude ‘’Soraya’’ she sighed deeply ‘’i know you must be angry but i wanted to ask you something’’ she stopped her sentence and waited for an answer from me ‘’Yes im waiting’’ i mumbled impatient ‘’Im going to get married and i wanted you to be there you are my daughter’’ ‘’I am? For what reason do you want me on youre wedding?’’ i asked curious, ‘’was there a shortage of bridesmaids?, did she buy to many flowers and ask too less people to hold them? I wondered ‘’Because i want you here when i get married im youre mother’’ ‘’My mother who doesn’t gives a sh*t about me, i called you to ask for money you just told me to die on the streets and now you expect me to just say: ‘ok mum il be on the next flight home’’ ‘’Honey im sorry really, i regret the things i did that made your life miserable im getting old and i just want you to forgive me’’ she begged trough the phone ‘’youre dad is coming too and youre brothers’’ ‘’Dad’’ i repeated i looked at my necklace with the silver pendant which my dad gave me when he was still with my mum, ‘’why did he left’’ i asked like the reason wasn’t clear enough ‘’Because of me im sorry if i could rewind everything i would do it all over on the right way but i cant, please come for a week’’ ‘’But i live here i have my job i cant just leave, take a holiday’’ ‘’Where do you live?’’ My mum asked in a ‘you call that carbon box a home!’ way ‘’With Charlie’’ ‘’Charlie? Who’s Charlie?’’ she asked ‘’Just some guy, some random guy’’ i added ‘’Hes youre boyfriend?’’ my mum asked even more curious ‘’No….. maybe… i want him to be but thats complicated’’ i stuttered ‘’no’’ ‘’Maybe i could help you’’ ‘’With what? You are gonna buy him for me? i dont think thats the way to find a cute guy’’ ‘’I meant something else, ill send you some money to buy a house for yourself but please think about it ok, i really want you to come’’ ‘’I will bye’’ i pushed the red button and stared at the phone for a sec i could use a holiday though ‘’You said you wanted to talk’’ i mumbled when i came home i tossed my purse into the corner of the room ‘’at least that’s what matt said’’, i walked to the kitchen made myself something to eat and poured myself some milk, i put both on the table and took a seat opposite charlie, he was reading his music mag but closed it when i took a seat ‘’Im really very sorry about yesterday, i acted stupid and i was drunk but still i didnt have a reason to insult you’’ he scratched his head and looked at me hoping ill look him straight in the eye while talking which i rudely with and reason didnt do, i picked up my glass and slowly took a sip i loved annoying people charlie was obviously thinking i would give some response but i gave him his 5 minutes of explanation ‘’I mean i was drunk and stupid and well you know, im really so sorry’’ he said while nervously folding the pages of his mag, ‘’you called me a sl*t’’ i said calmly ‘’I know im stupid just hit me again i had no right to slag you down like that’’ he took one of my hands in both of his and looks up at me from under his long eyelashes, ‘’you made that thing with matt a big issue, youre like the media you thickened the story, like i slept with the whole word when i was drunk and anyway its my business who i sleep with’’ i pulled my hand back and laid it for a change on his hand ‘’Youre so true i was overreacting and stupid please forgive me’’ Charlie’s hazel brown eyes begged for forgiveness I sighed deeply and tossed some cookie crumbs on at a time into the ashtray charlie looked at it interested and then firmly graphed my hand, ’’please’’ he muttered ‘’Why?’’ ‘’Why what?’’ ‘’Why should i forgive you?’’ ‘’Because, i well…. you know…..just forgive me ill do youre laundry for a jear, clean the dishes be youre servant though i dont have enough time to do that but ill try’’, ‘’Well maybe, ok but never call me a sl*t again’’ i said while wiping the crumbs of my t shirt i was still wondering what charlie really wanted to say after ‘you know…’ he stopped his sentence and i was at this moment dieing to know what he really wanted to say ‘’I wont’’ i promise Charlie said on a sweet tone ’Are you with matt?’’ Charlie asked again he was almost forcing me to go with matt, he kept talking about him and me maybe he wanted to match make or something ‘’what makes you think that?’’ i asked calmly while trying to read and talk at the same time, i think i became a bit of a book nerd i kept going back to the library to get my next pile of books and im almost big mates with the woman who works there, while i deeply in my heart hated to read ‘’Just wondered’’ charlie mumbled and cleaned a little stain from his shirt with a finger of spat ‘’Well no i dont have anything with matt i told you that a few times you should clean youre ears or something or get them checked by the doctor’’ i mumbled ‘’and if i did have something with matt, that dragging me of him a few days ago was for nothing right?’’ I stared at my book trying to think if i should stop reading or just resume ‘’Guess so but what do you think of matt?’’ He asked i sighed deeply, closed my book and turned round why was he so interested?, ‘’matt…. hes nice really funny good kisser too want more details?’’ I asked ‘’No thanx, i dont wanna know how matt kisses and stuff’’ charlie flashed me a disgusted look, ‘’youre not gonna match make or something are you?, maybe you saw to many match make movies and want me and matt as try out victims,’’ ‘’Off course i wont match make, do i look like some crappy romantic movie actor who tries to play a cupid?’’ ‘’Youll look cute with cupid wings’’ i smiled sweet, ‘’well thanx’’ charlie mumbled annoyed he never wanted to be compared to something fairy tail-like, charlie wanted to stay in his rock style, so never compare him to a boyband like guy cos hell get very angry i could write that on a sticky note and stick it on his forehead so every time i see him i could see he didnt want to be compared, I i loved comparing people and things so it was hard for me to loose the habit, At this moment i began to wonder, Charlie’s wondering was contagious i think, ‘’do you think matt and i could be a couple then?’’ ‘’Sure, you two are both nuts and do crazy things when youre drunk’’ charlie grinned ‘’I hate you! Cant you just be serious!’’ i threw a pillow in his face, ‘’i am serious youre matt type of girl but i think matt isnt totally youre type of guy’’ charlie picked up the pillow from the ground and put it on his lap he let his arms rest on it and fiddled with the label ‘’Right and whats my type of guy then?’’ i asked curious i hoped he didnt came with some ugly actor ‘’Just let me think for a sec………………….harry no danny or a mix of them put them in a blender and thats youre type of guy’’ charlie concluded ‘’My type of guy is a human milkshake?’’ I said disappointed ‘’I mean a mix of harry and danny well never mind its to complicated for you’’ ‘’It is’’ i agreed ‘’i did do this test’’ i jumped of the bed and looked between a pile of cosmo mags i pulled one mag out and showed the front at Charlie, he read the big pink coloured letters aloud, ‘’whos youre busted date?’’ then looked at me ‘’so whos youre busted date?’’ ‘’Er james you where to romantic and matt too wild’’ ‘’Too romantic??’’ charlie repeated he raised his eyebrows ‘’show me’’ he snatched the mag out of my hands and flicked the pages until he arrived at the busted test page, ‘’do you like jaffacakes?’’ He read aloud ‘’pizza indian curry or kebab, those test are like crap i mean they just are, im not too romantic’’ he said offended, ‘’im very romantic’’ Thats the same’’ i mumbled ‘’It isnt’’ he tossed the mag back on the pile, ‘’it isnt youre right’’ i agreed ‘’i mean matt also has a sensitive and caring side but they imagine him like hes jumping around like a hyper wild animal, and james has his down sides too’’ Charlie smiled distantly, i took a seat next to charlie on the bed and laid my haid against his shoulder, ‘’youre after shave still smells fab’’ i said ‘’Does matt smells good ?’’charlie asked to annoy me, ‘’actually yes he smells good too but he has a different scent than yours’’, charlie pocked into my shoulder ‘’youre not gonna sleep are you?’’ he asked when i closed my eyes ‘’Why not think sanne would mind?’’ I opent my eyes and wanted to know how charlie looked when he talked about his girlfriend most guys got all exited about their girlfriends and always tell their girlfriend history like youre interested, Charlie’s glare froze ‘’i dont want to talk about sanne’’ he muttered inaudible ‘’Why not you two had a fight?’’ I asked even more curious, say yes, say yes a little voice in my head said ‘’No but i just dont want to talk about her’’ this time he laid his head against my shoulder and closed his eyes, ‘’youre not gonna sleep are you?’’ i asked ‘’Why not you think matt would mind?’’ Next morning i felt bit empty the whole day got ruined and i didnt know how i should actually feel, my mum called me and said my dad died yesterday because of a hearth attack, he was quite weak and ill she explained i could hear that my mum still cared about my dad, she burst into tears halfway the convo, in some way i couldnt cry, i didnt see my dad in 10 years, though i was dad’s little girl i couldnt get my feelings about him settled in one way i hated him he left me again, i stirred a bit in my cereal bowl building a bridge with the frosties so that the milk wouldnt go to the other section of the bowl i wasnt hungry anyway ‘’Whats up with you and who called that early in the morning?’’ charlie asked i noticed he looked amazingly fit in his black boxers and red t shirt he took a seat at the dinner table and snatched the frosties box of the table ‘’It was my mum my dad died’’ i said short Charlie stopped preparing his breakfast and looked at me shocked ‘’im so sorry thats so bad are you ok?’’ He asked worried ‘’A bit, im going back home tomorrow though for two weeks my mum arranged it for the funeral and stuff she cancelled the wedding with her boyfriend fiancé whatever’’ i mumbled i dropped the sthingy in the bowl ‘’Owkay but are you ok i mean it must be such a shock all of a suddon’’ i noticed charlie didnt really know what to say ‘’Well he left me 10 years ago, so now hes just really gone anyway gotta pack im not hungry’’ i shove my bowl away and stood up, ‘’im leaving tomorrow too remember, for a week’’ charlie said ‘’Japan right?’’ I remember him saying something like that but I didn’t really pay attention at that moment ‘’Yup a few performances interviews and stuff we can go to the airport together’’ ‘’Cool’’ i mumbled not knowing what to say ‘’You know i have to tell you something, i wanted to tell you before but just sit down for a second’’ charlie said and made a gesture to the seat where i just stood up from, ‘’whats up?’’ i asked ‘’Me and sanne broke up i mean i kinda dumped her’’ ‘’Ow right’’ i mumbled, wait a second dump? That means charlie dumped her and charlie is single, no girlfriend i felt a bit happy under all the other circumstances i felt like jumping around happy but tried to act like i was feeling sorry for sanne, ‘’why actually?’’ i asked I laid my elbows on the table and leaned a bit against the table so it would look like I was interested ‘’Well i fell in love with someone else’’ he said, ow cool there goes my chance i thought and my mood got back to annoyed and sad again, ‘’with who?’’ i asked like i was interested who the lucky girl was ‘’You dont know?, what if i told you i dumped sanne four days after we got together again’’ ‘’But all that acting was for four days being together, i mean i embarrassed myself i had to act like some trashy sl*t just for you to get back to sanne and dump her after 4 days!’’ i raised my voice a bit, what the hell was i saying? I wanted charlie and sanne to break up and now he finally broke up with her i get angry whats with me? I wanted to slap myself ‘’Well sorry you feel that way’’ charlie said disappointed ‘’i think i fall in love with the wrong girl then, i dumped sanne for you and you get angry i thought you cared about me’’ ‘’You?’’ Did he mean you as in me? Or ‘you’ as in someone else? Or he was practising his lines for the girl he really loved, ‘’you?,You mean me?’’ I asked on a sheepish way ‘’Off course you who else?’’ Charlie said annoyed he already thought I rejected him in some way ‘’so you love me’’ I asked I need to know it for sure before I go being all happy and scream it of the roof tops which actually was a guy thing to do roof tops are to dangerous for my high heels what if I fall? ‘’I think this time you need to clean youre ears and let them get checked by the doctor, yes I love you but I don’t know if you feel the same’’ he added sad ‘’I almost had problems with that I mean I love for quite a long time I even told harry! But he coudnt help me and you know how jealous I was!’’ ‘’you where?’’ Charlie laughed I have to be honest I didn’t like Johnny because he fancied you so that kinda meant I was jealous if I knew you liked me too I would have stopped the whole acting thing lot sooner’’ ’no its youre fault’’ i concluded charlie frowned ‘’my fault? whats my fault?’’ ‘’If you told me that you left sanne and loved me, nothing would have happened’’ after saying my sentence i notice that i didnt understand the hell what I was saying i look at charlie hoping he got the message a better way, ‘’so youre telling me that you slept with matt because of me?’’ i could hear the surprised and confused tone in Charlie’s voice ‘’NO! I dont mean that i mean that i was so jealous and mixed up with my feelings you could have saved me lots of………’’ see im bad at explaining i tried to search a word to finish my sentence but in some way i couldnt find it instead i stared at the frosties box which charlie was holding in his hand ‘’you know’’ charlie said he took a few seconds to swallow a handful of dry frosties which he just stuffed into his mouth, ‘’i think its youre fault if you told me you loved me i would have stopped the whole acting thing’’ ‘’Right just pass the blame to someone else’’ i cut in i stood up and looked around trying to find out why i stood up at the first place, charlie chuckled and i know why, ‘’the whole blaming thing is silly isn’t it’’ i grin charlie nodded ‘’youre so right’’ he agreed, ‘’well anyway im going to pack’’ i took a few steps backwards ‘’look out for……’’ charlie stood up but its to late i trip over something and fall flat onto the ground luckily the floor is made of soft carpet,if it wasnt then i would be seriously injured, ‘’….my suitcase’’ he added too late ‘’See its all youre fault’’ i say without a reason ‘’you could help me back up’’ i reached out my hand, charlie mumbled something and then graphs my hand and pulls me back up, he ‘catches’ me into his strong arms, ‘thanx’’ i murmured He was so close right now that i had to take my chance and kiss him while i was ‘preparing’ my kiss charlie pushed his lips against mine and kissed me passionately, while kissing i put my arms in his neck and he slides my tshirt over my head and throws it onto the ground, he placed a few kissed in my neck and then to spoil the moment my phone rings, i looked up very annoyed releasing my lips of Charlie’s, i so had the urge to pick up the phone and rudely scream that i wasnt in the mood to have a chat, ‘’dont pick it up its not important’’ charlie mumbled he tried to get my attention back by steering me into the bedroom where we finished our little ‘one on one’ ‘’Why do we have to leave tomorrow?’’ charlie mumbled like a little boy he tucked a loose stray of hair behind my air and then kisses me just when i wanted to answer his question ‘’We will be like thousands miles away from each other’’ i added to make the fact of leaving tomorrow even more worse ‘’but you will have fun performing with the lads and im going to a funeral so you shouldn’t moan’’ ‘’Thats right’’ charlie sighed ‘’but still i want you with me’’ ‘’The same’’ i stroked with my hand over Charlie’s chest and he lays his hand on mine, ‘’ill call you, you know maybe..’’ charlies eyes lit up like he just found the best idea ever to make the war stop in irac ‘’maybe i could come to you after a week of performing i think i could do that’’ he looks at me and his eyes twinkle in the light ‘’you could’’ i smile ‘’we still have to pack though’’ i remind him ‘’I just need you in a suitcase and im finished packing’’ he laughed, i make a move to get out of bed but charlie pulls me back onto him ‘’youre going nowhere’’ he said and grinned cheekily ‘’Im not?’’ I was staring into my stuff, my new suitcase wasnt that big so i couldnt take all my clothes, i tossed the last shirt on the pile with the approved stamp which i just gave them ‘’sorry’’ i mumbled at the remaining clothes, i used to have my mum moaning about the fact that i used to throw my whole room in a suitcase, i always pack to much if i go away for a day i pack a amount of clothes for a week luckily i didnt have my mum next to me moaning so i could pack whatever i wanted just when i wanted to bend over to close my suitcase an arm encircles me and pulls me back against a warm body; Charlie’s body he gave me a kiss and stares at my suitcase ‘’isnt that too much?’’ he mumbles while he nuzzles his nose into my neck, ‘’it isnt much, dont go sounding like my mum’’ ‘’Ok it isnt much then’’ he improved ‘’Have you packed’’ i asked ‘’Off course i just throw a few clothes and my i pod in a suitcase and im ready’’ ‘’I almost forgot!’’ I jumped up ‘’What?’’ Charlie said a bit annoyed because he was er quite busy with kissing me ‘’Mcfly performance they are showing it on tv!’’ i made my way to the livingroom and turn on the tv just when the screen appears i see the lads on a stage singing five colours in her hair danny is sitting on a chair with his leg stretched in front of him he holds his guitar tight and tries to make the best of it under the circumstances ‘’What happened with him?’’ charlie asked surprised ‘’You didnt know? He broke his leg’’ ‘’Poor danny’’ Charlie muttered and started kissing me again, it been like this ever since this morning we where almost glued to each other, all day we where cuddling and kissing, not that I mind but soon our ‘beginning’ relationship was all based on passion instead of love I carefully pushed Charlie away from me he looked up surprised ‘’you should save youre kisses for tonight’’ I said while tossing my money and phone into my purse ‘’Tonight?’’ Charlie repeated he grinned cheekily ‘’whats tonight?’’ ‘’Same as this morning I grinned im going to my work get some stuff, this two weeks im gonna work at home I graphed my jacket and walked to the door Charlie followed me ‘’don’t I get a goodbye kiss?’’ he asked ‘’Gosh you cheesy’’ I mumbled and moved my head into a kissing position instead of kissing I whispered in his ear ‘’sorry youll have to wait a couple of hours’’ I grinned sweet and looked at Charlie’s disappointed face ‘’aw come on!’’ he jelled dissapointed Next morning I felt nervous and sad, nervous because I had to fly and I always was nervous, for that don’t ask why but before I went to the airport I was so tense that you could light a lightbulb with me I was sad because I was laying next to Charlie; all cuddled up and I didn’t want to leave him for two weeks, when matt, james and the driver came I was all busy making a ‘how to survive a 2 hours flight’ note (I know it was short but I had to survive it anyway) ‘’are all bags in the car?’’ the driver asked all four of us looked around and nodded, Charlie wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me ‘’im so gonna miss you’’ ‘’The same’’ I laughed ‘’lets go’’ I mumbled and let go of Charlie I wasn’t into sob goodbyes and it was only for er two weeks, this time I made another list in my head ‘how to survive two weeks without Charlie’, matt interrupted my thoughts, ‘’since when are you two acting again?’’ he asked ‘’Since never, we are together as an item’’ Charlie said ‘’Since when?’’ james asked ‘’Since this morning’’ I added ‘’Ow well congrats’’ matt and james said on the same time and we all jumped into the car at the time we arrived at the airport there where a few fans waiting outside for the lads with banners, with a few I meant 30 screaming girls, we made our way outside and I tried to stay in the background I didn’t want to look like the girl who stole Charlie away from his fans, when we finally got in and several autographs where signed Charlie pulled me with him to a more quite place, ‘’I don’t want to kiss in front of all those girls if you know what I mean’’ he said soft ‘’Yer me neither it looks a bit silly kissing you in front of like 10 girls who also want to kiss you’’ I grinned ‘’but I only have one hour left to check in and get rid of my suitcase well have to say goodbye now’’ I kissed him passionately and gave him a hug, ‘’ill miss you call me ok’’ ‘’Off course I will’’ Charlie kissed me on my nose and then on my lips he smiled and walked away, I took a deep breath and looked around, where could I drop my suitcase? After saying goodbye to my suitcase i walk to my gate, d2 right where the hell do i go?, i stare at the yellow signs, why did they have to make all the things so complicated?, after 10 minutes of staring at the lightened signs and getting dizzy i finally find the direction and make my way to gate d2, i feel like talking to someone but i cant just chat with some random person who is on his or hers business flight, so im al alone walking trough the terminal i feel like singing air hostess very loud only make my own version ‘air host’ i have to be honest i saw a few air hosts and they looked pretty good in their blue suites, air hostess isnt out on single yet but i read james notes and i heard them rehearsing and jamming the song for the new album, but anyway i was still walking al alone mumbling a few words from the song, i stare outside; airplanes landing and going away and suitcases in all colours packed in plastic waiting on some train car to be chucked into an freezing boot of an airplane Im always nervous the two hours before flying not that im afraid to fly i flew several times but still you make the worst scenes like; plane getting hijacked or plane crashing into a neighbourhood or somewhere in the ocean I think tv has destroyed my point of view in that way but i always hate the moment that those airhostess explains about where youre oxygen mask and live vest is, when they explain those things you already get the feeling youre going to crash and then as an ending to make you less scared they say that flying is the safest way in public transport, think i still believe that after all the ‘what to do when youre plane crashes down’ info? I dont think so My thoughts get disturbed by my phone whos singing the new song of usher: my ringtone i pick up without looking whos on the other side of the phone on the receiver, ‘’i tried to call you yesterday’’ i hear deans voice say I first make up the beginning of the phone call which dean forgot: ‘’hey its me dean’’ ‘’ O, hi how are you?’’ ‘’Im fine i tried to call you yesterday……… And you didnt pick up your phone’’ he added, dean knows i have my phone with me everywhere i go,and the thing is always on so i can always talk to you, when im not picking up my phone im: 1. on the toilet 2. in the shower 3. not interested in you, not wanting to talk to you or i hate you and ignore youre calls what makes you to leave a message after the peep and if im in the mood ‘if’ then ill call you back, ‘’er i was busy’’ i mumble i try to find out what i was doing and remember i was er ‘busy’ with charlie at the moment that he called ‘’right’’ dean mumbled on a slightly offended tone ‘’anyway i wanted to ask you about the songwriting’’ ‘’ow about that im going away for two weeks my dad died sow…’’ ‘’im sorry for that’’ dean gives a moment of silence like its a way to show respect ‘’but can you try to write some because i had a few ideas ill send then to you’’ ‘’thats cool ill call you gotta hang up’’ I pushed the red button and sighed deeply I shove my brown/orange tinted sunglasses in front of my eyes because the bright sun that came trough the big windows annoyed me, Charlie matt and james always worn sunglasses too, but only to stay in some disguise hoping they didn’t got noticed, I thought that was silly because they still looked like the james matt and charlie with sunglasses on and I think It didn’t help, i noticed I arrived at the gate d2, there where several people waiting or buying mags and papers in the little paper shop, I loved reading mags so I bought one newspaper and two mags (gotta read something right) I put my sunglasses of to look into my purse for money as I pulled a few pounds out of my pockets and chucked them onto the counter I notice that the middle aged man behind the counter was looking at me in a strange way ‘’youre matt busted’s new girlfriend right?’’ he asked while taking the money and putting the mags into a plastic bag ‘’matt’s girlfriend?’’ I replied ‘’er I don’t think so’’ I smiled kind and took over the bag ‘’you look like her though’’ he said determined, as far as I knew matt didn’t have a girlfriend I ignored it and took a seat next to the other people who where waiting, I opent the newspaper and hovered over the headlines and pictures I let my eye fall on a middle sized pic and noticed it was of me and matt: matt’s secret girlfriend I read the pic was made on the party where I had to do my oscar winning movie ‘kissing and stuff’ with matt I laughed when I thought about it, luckily they made the pic after the thing in the hallway, I was only holding matts hand on the pic so it wasn’t that big deal, Im with Charlie!! I wanted to scream I tossed the paper back into the bag and shove my sunglasses in front of my eyes, how to survive the press, two weeks without Charlie and a plane flight from two hours………..sigh. The end