I sat looking at the clock on the DVD player under the TV. Some late night shit was blaring on the screen. Well not really late night anymore - more early morning. It's 4:30am to be precise. I knew he told me never to wait up for him but I'd just about had enough of it. The late nights that he came in pissed. He always ended up waking Harley up as well. She was only 7 months old and she needed her sleep. I knew he meant well. He was just trying to live the celebrity lifestyle a bit. I didn't mind. Since Harley had been born he'd been fantastic. He was at the birth when he was supposed to be over the other side of London filming for a TV show. He'd taken numerous days off to give me some time to myself. He'd been a fantastic father. The boozing stopped for about a month after Harley was born, but it soon started again. I heard the door open and snapped out of my thoughts.

"Emma, I'm home babe," he drunkenly slurred. I got up and walked into the hallway.

"About bloody time, I've been up all night waiting for you." He walked towards me arms outstretched but I pushed him away.

"Where's my beautiful baby?" he slurred, turning around. I grabbed him and pulled him back to me.

"She's in bed. Asleep. Don't you dare wake her up."

"I want to see my daughter. She's my daughter as well so I can see her whenever the fuck I want. If it hadn't been for me then you'd never have had her." He went to walk towards her bedroom door again but I pulled him back.

"Matt, don't you dare wake her up." I whispered angrily. He frowned at me. "Look you can see her in the morning," I sighed. He nodded.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and kissing my forehead. I unwrapped his arms from around me and walked towards our bedroom.

"I'm going to bed," I told him as I pushed past him. He followed behind me but I stopped in the doorway.

"Hurry up babe," he moaned. I scowled at him.

"No Matt, You're sleeping on the sofa tonight." He went to speak but stopped for a moment.

"Em, come on, I'm horny." He whined. I stood still.

"If you think I'm going to have sex with you when you're in this state then you've got another think coming." He shook his head.

"Why do I have to sleep on the sofa?" he asked. I sighed.

"Because you're pissed and I don't want you breathing alcoholic fumes over me."

"But we have to have sex," he protested.

"No we don't Matt, and I'm not going to." His expression changed.

"Emma please, just stop being a bitch. The quicker we get it over and done with, the quicker you can go to sleep."

"No Matt. I mean it."

"Yeah and so do I. I'm not going to ask you again."

"Good. Then I can go." Matt grabbed me and pulled me back. He held on to my arms tightly and shook me.

"Don't you fucking get cocky with me," he shouted. I turned my face away from him. I tried to fight him off but he wrestled me down onto our luxurious super kingsize bed. He straddled me and started to viciously pull the hem of my nighty. I tried to fight him off me but he managed to overpower me.

"Matt, don't do this," I pleaded. He ignored me and set to work unzipping his flies. "Matt please." I practically screamed. Yet again he ignored me. He yanked my knickers down and parted my legs before pulling his own boxers down. He paused for a second and looked at me squirming and kicking. I saw a look in his eyes that I'd never seen from him before. He pushed his way slowly and painfully inside of me. I looked away, not able to meet his eyes. Trying to make myself want it. Trying to make it stop. I couldn't. That's when I realised this was rape. About 10 minutes after he'd started, he came powerfully inside of me, making more tears roll down my cheeks. I heard Harley crying and screaming in the other room and just wanted to get to her. To keep her safe. He pulled out of me and turned my face to look at him. He kissed me sloppily and I wanted to be sick. I managed to push him off me and sent him off the edge of the bed. The bang to his head as he hit the floor must have sobered him up because he looked up at me in silence and shock.

"Emma......., I'm so sorry," he started. I pulled my nighty down and my knickers up and stood up. An aching pain between my legs.

"Get out." I told him angrily, not even able to look at him.

"Emma, no......" he started, pulling his boxers and jeans up.

"Matt, get out before I call the fucking police." He looked at me for a moment before getting up off of the floor and running out of the flat, tears spilling down his cheeks. I ran my fingers through my hair, not sure what to do before I remembered Harley's crying. I ran into the next room to see to her. I lifted her out of the cot and held her close to me, shushing her. I still had tears rolling down my cheeks, unable to process what had just happened. I got Harley a bottle and fed it to her on the sofa bed in her room. All I could hear in the silence was her content sucking noises and my quiet sobs. When I was sure she was asleep I placed her back in her cot and left her alone. I slowly made my way back to my room. When I got there, I sat on the bed in the dark for a while before getting under the duvet cover and curling up, hysterically sobbing myself to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and rolled over to find the space next to me empty. I remembered the previous night and suddenly felt vulnerable. Even though it was him who had made me feel like this, I wanted Matt here to comfort me and make me feel safe again. I untangled myself from the duvet cover and slowly walked into Harley's room. She was awake, gurgling to herself in her cot. She'd managed to get on her hands and knees and was pulling at some of her teddy bears. I smiled, thankful that I had her.

"Morning beautiful," I cooed, lifting her out of the cot. She giggled as I kissed her forehead. "I love you," I whispered. I carried her into the lounge and placed her in her playpen in the corner of the lounge as I went to make myself some coffee. I sat down on the sofa with my mug and handed Harley her bottle. She took it and placed the teat in her mouth. I switched the TV on but turned the volume right down as I thought about my life. Apart from the relationship problems, there wasn't much to complain about. I was just about to turn 20 and I had all this. Sure, Matt came in pissed in the early hours of the morning and neglected to spend time with me and Harley outside of work, but he'd given me so much. He'd bought the penthouse flat we were living in. He'd paid for all the gorgeous modern furniture in our bedroom and Harley's. Mine and his large double bed, Harley's expensive cot. He'd shelled out a load of money on kitting out an actual playroom for Harley, complete with toys, a mini climbing frame, a dolls house and a widescreen plasma TV on the wall with Sky and a DVD player so we could put The Tweenies on in there for her. He bought me a top of the range 4x4 car when I passed my driving test and he paid for me to have private antenatal classes. We had the material things in our relationship worked out, we just needed to work on the love aspect. It was there, it always had been from the moment we got together. It just needed nurturing. The only way for us to do that, was to talk things out. I reached over for the phone and dialled Matt's best mate, and bandmate, James. He picked up after about 4 rings.

"Hello?" he answered, groggily. Obviously, I'd woken him up. I looked at the clock 7:30am. Okay, I'd blatently woken him up.

"Hey James, it's Emma. Sorry it's early." I explained.

"Nah, it's okay, what's bugging you?" he asked, sighing. I paused.

"Have you seen Matt? We had an argument and he hasn't come home. We need to talk things out." There was a suspiciously long pause from James' end of the line.

"Sorry, I can't help you out. Have you tried his mobile, or Charlie's place?" he asked. I heard a cough in the background. A Matt-like cough.

"James, are you sure he's not there?" I asked suspiciously. "Please don't lie to me. This is serious." James paused.

"Look Emma, he doesn't want to talk to you. He says he'll come home when he's ready." I sat in shock for a second.

"He doesn't want to speak to me? That's rich considering I'm the one who's been raped by the person they love." James paused.

"What?"

"What do you mean what?" I replied angrily.

"What did you just say happened?" I frowned.

"He raped me. I thought he would have told you." James paused.

"No," he replied slowly, "He must have left that bit out."

"Look James, please just bring him over. I need to sort this whole thing out with him, and quickly." James sighed.

"I'll bring him over at about 9 o'clock."

"Okay."

"Well, bye," James said, going to hang up.

"Wait." I blurted out quickly.

"What?"

"Tell Matt that I...." I couldn't bring myslef to say 'Tell him I love him'. I sighed. "Tell him that I'm thinking of him, and that me and Harley miss him."

"I will do." He replied. And with that, I hung up. I put the phone back on the holder on the wall and went back over to Harley. I lifted her out of the play pen and she smiled at me. She instantly grabbed a fistful of my hair and giggled. She didn't understand that her mum and dad's relationship was hanging in the balance. "Come on baby, we're going to make you look all pretty for when daddy gets here." I told her as I placed her down on her changing mat. As she lay on her back, she smiled up at me, shaking the teddy bear I'd given her to keep her occupied while I set to work changing her nappy. When I was done, I left her laying down and picked out a cute little summer dress that I placed on her. She had a striking resmblance to Matt. The elf-like ears and the cute grin. She also had his high pitch giggle. When she was dressed, I put her back in the playpen in the lounge and went to get myself ready. I put on a pair of jeans and a black baby doll top then applied my make up. By the time I was ready it was just about 9. I went back in the lounge and picked Harley out of the playpen again, playing with her on the carpet. When there was a knock on the door at about quarter past, I sighed nervously, picked Harley up, holding her on my hip and walked to the door. "Who's this gonna be Harley?" I whispered as I opened the door. On the other side stood James, beaming. To his left and behind him slightly, stood Matt. He was in the same clothes as the night before and was looking down at the floor. James stepped forward, snapping me out of my Matt daze, and tickled Harley under the chin. He smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"He's been like this all night," he whispered in my ear, referring to Matt. I nodded. I handed Harley over to James and he took her to the living room, leaving me and Matt standing at the door on our own. The silence was awkward and, for some reason, I felt terrible. Matt slowly looked up and I saw his eyes were red and puffy, much like mine had been when I had first woken up.

"I didn't think you'd want to ever see me again," he whispered, still not making eye contact. I frowned.

"Matt, Of course I want to see you. We have a lot of stuff to talk over, I'm not going to leave it hanging in the balance." He smiled to himself. "So are you going to come in or stand out here all day?" I asked, having to stop myself from reaching out and hugging him or kissing him. Matt finally met my gaze and smiled. He walked in the flat and I shut the door behind us. He walked through to the lounge and smiled at James bouncing Harley up and down on his knee. James looked up.

"I'll take Harley to the play room while you two talk. If you need me then just call me." I nodded and Matt looked away as James carried Harley out of the room. The door shut and we stood in silence for a little while.

"Emma, look." Matt started.

"Matt, please, just let me say what I have to say first." He nodded and shut up. "Right, what happened last night really scared me. I've never ever seen you like that before and I don't ever want to see you like that again. You raped me Matt and although I might not be showing it, I feel dirty and used. I don't feel like I can touch you affectionatley. I can't even cuddle you at the moment, let alone give you a kiss. I know that if you'd been sober you would have never done anything like that but apart from thinking about me, I have to think about Harley in all of this. You were drunk Matt, like you always are these days. Not only is it affecting me, it's affecting Harley and it's affecting you. You're moody, uncooperative, and you hardly give a damn about me or Harley any more. You spend all your free time clubbing. It's like you want to get away from us. You're nothing like the gorgeous, cheeky, fun loving guy that I fell in love with at James' party 4 years ago. I don't want to change you Matt. I just want the old you back. The real you. The guy who held me in his arms for at least 3 hours solid when my grandad died. The guy who told me he loved me every other sentence. The guy who went to every music shop in England to find a CD just because he knew I was looking for it, but most of all Matt, I want the guy who's heart was in this relationship 100%. I want the guy who loved me." I paused to see tears running down Matt's cheeks. I quickly wiped away the tears that were falling down my own cheeks and carried on. "Unless Matt....... Unless the guy I just described wasn't the real you. If he was just some act fabricated to get a shag, then I think it's best that we call it a day, right here, right now."

Matt looked up, a look of horror spread across his face. His hands were stuffed in his pockets.

"Emma, no." he said quietly. I looked away. "Emma, I love you so much and I need you right now. What I did was totally unforgivable, I know that, but I need you to help me. I know that I need help. I've got to stop drinking because it's not going to be long before I'm a total alcholic. My head is screwed up and I need you to help me sort it out. I want to help you sort yourself out as well, but I expect I'm the last person you'll want the help of. I've been a crap father to Harley and I want to make it up to her so much. If you leave me, I'll just keep going down, I need you to keep me sane Emma, and I'll do anything to make this relationship work." He paused. "I love you." I thought for a moment. I didn't know what to do. I was stuck. I either had to let him know that I loved him as well, or I had to let him know that I meant what I said, and that I wasn't going to take him back. I sighed and looked up at Matt's tear stained cheeks.

"I keep giving you chances Matt and you keep taking them for granted. I don't know if I can give you any more." He put his hand to his head and ran it through his hair. I stepped towards him and put a hand to his face. He looked straight in my eyes. "I love you so much Matt. That's why I'm going to give you one last chance." He breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"But I mean it Matt. If you dare throw this back in my face then that's it. There won't be another chance after this one. If you muck up on this scale again then me and Harley are out of here, and we won't be coming back. Understand?" He nodded and I wiped the tears away from his cheeks before kissing him lightly on the lips. He smiled.

"I don't deserve you Emma, really, I don't," he sighed. I smiled at him.

"There's going to be some ground rules though Matt." He nodded.

"Name them. I'll do anything."

"One, you have to take more responsibility for Harley. Spend some time with her and take her to the park when you're not working. I know you get worried about the press taking pictures of her but we can't keep her couped up in here for the rest of her life. Two, I think it'll be better if you sleep on the sofa bed in Harley's room. I need time to be able to trust you again. When I can, you can sleep in our bed again. And thirdly, Please don't push me into anything I don't want to do. I'm still quite shaken up but if you give me time, I'll get over it, then things can get back to normal." He smiled.

"I'll do all of those things. For you." I smiled and kissed him lightly again.

Two months later and it was my birthday. I was finally 20. Over the last 2 months, things had gone fine. Matt had only just moved back into our bed, but he was much more hands on with Harley. He was the first one to wake up when she cried in the night and he'd sometimes spend hours walking around the flat with her, trying to get her back to sleep. We'd told the people that we felt needed to know about the 'incident' and everyone had been really supportive of us. Matt hadn't been drunk since that night and it made him such a nicer person. I was sitting on the bed as Matt bustled around the bedroom, picking up stuff and packing it into a bag. It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon and he'd started packing stuff way before lunchtime. He was only going to be away for a night or two.

"Matt, stop for just one moment." I smiled. He stopped and looked up. I kissed him and he smiled. "Calm down, you're going to give yourself a heart attack or something." He sat on the edge of the bed next to me and we kissed again.

"I'm so sorry that I have to go away babe. I really wanted us to do something for your birthday but it's just these summer roadshows. I would have got stuff for you to come along but you'd be bored out of your brain. What with Harley and everything as well." I nodded.

"I understand. You have a job to do and you have to go and do it. We can do something together another night, when you get back." He nodded and looked at his watch.

"Shit. I'm running out of time. Fletch will be here for me soon to pick me up." I nodded and let him get back to his packing. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I got up from sitting with Harley in the lounge to find Matt had already answered it and was piling all his stuff on Fletch. He acknowledged me before walking downstairs to take Matt's stuff to the car. I went to get Harley and walked back to the hallway with her on my hip. Matt shut the bedroom door and smiled.

"Say goodbye to Daddy, Harley." I smiled, holding her out to him. He took her off of me, kissed her nose and smiled.

"I'll see you soon darlin'. You be a good little girl for mummy." He pursed his lips and Harley gave him a big sloppy baby kiss. He handed her back to me and kissed me. "You have my number if you need me. Just call me for anything. If you have a problem or you just want to chat then I'll be a phonecall away." I nodded and kissed him again.

"I'll miss you." I whispered. He smiled.

"I'll miss you too." He smiled as he shut the door. I went to the bedroom window and watched as Matt climbed in the car and was driven off. I sighed. It hadn't been Matt's fault that he had to go away but I still wished he hadn't. I wanted him to be here with me. It wouldn't have been a massive celebration anyway. It would have probably just been me, him, Harley and our mates in the flat. I sat down. Matt had only gone to Newcastle but they'd decided to drive up on the tour bus. He bought home the schedule and showed me sadly that he was going to be going away on my birthday. I'd told him not to worry about it and had put on a brave face.

At about 7:00 that night while I was watching Blue's Clues with Harley in the lounge, there was a knock on the door. Puzzled, I got up, leaving Harley on the sofa, to see who it was. I wasn't expecting anyone so was intrigued. I pulled the door back to see James standing on the other side, smiling at me. He was holding a big Selfridges bag in his hand. I looked at him in complete and utter confusion.

"James, aren't you supposed to be in Newcastle?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"No, and neither is Matt."

"What?" I asked, still very confused.

"Look. I'm here for Harley. I'm babysitting tonight."

"You are?"

"Yes." He handed over the bag. "Look, all you have to do is give Harley to me, get changed into what's in that bag and be looking glam by 9:30." I smiled and looked at him.

"James, what is going on?" I asked. He smiled.

"You'll find out soon enough." I shook my head. "So where's Harley?" he asked. I led him into the lounge. he picked her up and smiled.

"What do you need?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Just an overnight bag. Bottles, milk, nappies, baby wipes, clothes. I have a cot for her to sleep in so that's sorted. Oh, some of her toys as well." I packed all the stuff James would need for a night with Harley and they were gone by about 7:30. I picked up the Selfridges bag and carried it to the bedroom where I put it on the bed. The first thing I pulled out of the bag was an envelope.  I opened it carefully and pulled out the card inside.

Surprise!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday babe.

James should have told you all you have to do, so do it!

See you later

Love

Matt

xxx

I smiled to myself. I should have guessed that Matt was behind this. I had 2 hours to get ready so immediatley went to have a shower. I washed my hair, did everything I needed to do to make myself look nice for Matt. When I turned the shower off, I reached over for a black towel. I wrapped one tightly around my body, then reached for another one and wrapped it tightly around my hair. I made my way to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Curiously, I reached into the bag to find out what was in there. First thing I pulled out was a massive bundle of black material. I held it out to find that it was infact the black dress I'd been after for ages. I'd first seen it when I'd been shopping with Matt about a month previously. There wasn't much special about it, it was just gorgeous. It wasn't any sort of designer label but it was about £200 in price. I held it up to myself. I couldn't believe that Matt had done this. He'd obviously gone back without me to get it.  I laid the dress back out on the bed and picked out the next thing. A pair of absolutely gorgeous Jimmy Choo boots to go with the dress. Finally there was a jewellery box in the bottom of the bag. A Tiffany's box. I opened it to reveal a platinum chain wth a diamond encrusted heart pendant hanging from it. I gasped and suddenly felt the need to sit down. This was all a bit much for me, for some reason, so I started to cry. Wiping my tears away, I put the necklace down on the bed and went to my dressing table. By 9 o'clock, I was dressed and was applying finishing touches to my hair and make up. I'd gone for smokey eye make up and had curled my hair slightly to give it a slight wave. With half an hour to kill, I picked up my black nail varnish and started painting my nails. As I applied the final coat to my final nail, having painted my toe nails as well, the intercom phone rang. I put the lid on the nail varnish bottle and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I have a Limo for Miss Hodge?" I smiled to myself. A fucking Limo?!!!

"Uh, cheers. I'll be down in a couple of seconds." I hung up, gathered up some stuff and put it in a hand bag. Turned the TV off then made my way downstairs. Waiting outside the block of flats was a large black Limo. The driver was standing, waiting, holding the door open. He smiled and I climbed in. The back of the car was massive. It seemed so empty with just me in it. The driver climbed back in the drivers seat and started the engine. He opened up the little window blocking himself off so we could talk. "Where am I actually going?" I asked, intrigued. He smiled to himself.

"I'm under strict instructions not to tell you anything."

We drove around London for about 30 minutes before we pulled up at the London Eye. It was 10:00 and pretty empty. It looked gorgeous, all lit up in the dark. The driver got out and opened the door for me. I smiled at him, and climbed out. I thanked him before walking over to the main entrance. It was quite warm out still. As I walked, I caught sight of Matt. He smiled as he saw me. I walked straight to him. He was standing at the entrance to one of the capsules, dressed in jeans, a shirt, a tie and a blazer. He looked very sexy. I reached him and kissed him softly.

"You look amazing babe," he whispered as we hugged. I smiled.

"So do you." I replied. He took my hand and led me into the capsule. The doors swung shut behind us and Matt sat me down on the bench in the middle. He sat next to me, pulling his legs up and crossing them.

"Sorry that I lied to you, but I wanted to keep this all secret." I smiled.

"It's fine. It was a nice surprise."

"You will not believe the amount of hassle I've had to sort this out. I had to pay for them to keep this open for us, then pay for one of the girls at the record label to type up some fake schedules," he paused, "But you're worth it babe." I smiled.

"I should bloody well hope so." He smiled and kissed me again. He rested his forehead against mine and sighed.

"I have been such a bastard to you. I don't deserve you at all," he whispered. I pulled away slightly.

"Matt. I thought we'd been through this a thousand times." I told him. I put a hand to the side of his face. "I love you, and I don't want anyone else apart from you. I've seen you change so much over the past 2 months and I love you even more for that." He broke into a grin and kissed my forehead. He took my hand and rubbed the back of it with my thumb. He unfolded his legs, then stood up, pulling me up with him. The wheel had been moving slowly for the whole time and we were only about a quarter of the way up. Matt looked out of the window, snaking his arm around my waist. Instead of looking at the sight below us, I looked at Matt. He'd lost weight, he looked a lot healthier and younger. He bothered to shave nowadays and his eyes had regained their sparkle. He caught me looking at him and gave me a questioning look. I just shook my head and looked away. He placed two fingers under my chin and turned my head back so I was looking at him again.

"Tell me what's up babe," he whispered.

"You look so gorgeous Matt. It's like you're you again. I finally have the real you back. The Matt that I fell in love with at James' party and the Matt I decided I wanted to have a baby with." He smiled.

"Do you remember when we met?" he asked. I nodded.

"It's kind of hard to forget." Me and Matt had met at a New Year's house party at James'. I was 16, Matt was 18. He'd just randomly come over to talk to me for a few minutes. A few minutes, which ended up turning into a few hours. As the party ended in the early hours of the morning, Matt had taken me up to his room where we'd just fallen asleep together on the bed. The next morning, Matt gave me his number and we kept in close contact for a while before eventually forming a relationship.

"Babe, are you cold?" Matt asked, as I shivered slightly. I shook my head and hugged him. Slowly we reached the top of the wheel and the capsule stopped. We looked out over London, Matt's hand wrapped around my waist. He turned me to face him and kissed me, his hand resting on my cheek. As we pulled apart, he looked into my eyes before reaching into the pocket of his blazer. He took my hand in his, pulling his other hand out of his blazer pocket and grinned mischeivously

"Matt, what the hell are you doing?" I whispered. He looked into my eyes and produced a small velvet ring box from his hand. He flipped it open to show a beautiful Tiffany engagement ring. I recognised it from all the times I'd stood in Tiffany's with Matt admiring them but never daring to buy anything because of the price tag. I looked from the ring to his eyes.

"I was wondered if you fancy getting hitched?" he asked, in typical Matt style. I smiled.

"Is that a proposal?" I replied. He nodded.

"I didn't exactly splash out on this for nothing!" he smiled, signalling to the ring.

"Matt, it must have cost a bomb." I gushed. He smiled.

"Well I wanted to spend my earnings on something special."

"It's definatley special. It's amazing." I told him.

"It would look even nicer on your finger." He grinned. I laughed.

"I haven't said yes yet." He sighed.

"Well, are you going to marry me or not?" he asked, slightly impatiently, but with a grin on his face. I paused for a minute then nodded.

"Of course I am." Matt beamed, took the ring out of the box and slid it along the fourth finger on my left hand. I admired it for a second then pulled Matt into a deep, long and passionate kiss. We were slowly nearing the end of the ride. "So where are we going after this?" I asked. "You coming home?" He shook his head.

"We're going to stay in a hotel tonight," he explained, "A nice hotel."

"Matt, I don't have any stuff." He shook his head.

"You do, I've already booked all our stuff in." He pulled a key from his back pocket. "Room for two. For a night at The Ritz." I gasped.

"Matt, this is so amazing. Thank you." I whispered. He smiled.

"Anything to make you happy babe." He whispered back.

When we arrived at The Ritz, Matt pulled me out of the car and into the foyer. It was quite late so there weren't many people about. He pulled me into the lift and pulled me close to him as the doors slid shut.

"The room is amazing." He whispered in my ear before nibbling slightly on my earlobe. I giggled and looked him in the eye before brushing my lips on his. When the doors pinged open, Matt led me down the hallway before we stopped outside one of the doors. I didn't bother to look at the number, I was too intent on kissing Matt while he tried to open the door. Some older, posher people, looked at us as they walked past, looking down their noses at us.

"We just got engaged." I announced to them, holding up my left hand. They looked away and walked away hurriedly. Suddenly, the door flung open and Matt hauled me in, giggling. He slammed the door shut, plunging the room into darkness. Matt pressed a switch, turning on the bedside lamp furthest away from us, and I pushed him against the wall, kissing him maniacly, my hands rubbing over his chest. We pulled apart and Matt smiled.

"Babe, it's so nice to see you laughing and smiling again." He whispered. I smiled.

"I haven't felt this happy in a long time." I told him. He smiled, and we took a second to calm down a bit. Pulling my shoes off, I bit my bottom lip as Matt looked down at the floor. I slowly, but confidently grabbed his tie and pulled him over to the bed. I turned him so he had his back to the bed then leant up and kissed him, lovingly this time. Matt responded to the kiss, wrapping his arms around me. As we kissed, I pulled his blazer off of him, then slowly undid his tie. We stopped kissing and I looked into his eyes. I unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time then dropped it down to join his blazer and tie in a heap on the floor. I looked down at his jeans, then reached out and undid the bet and flies. Matt reached behind me and undid the dress, causing it to fall in a puddle around my feet , just as Matt's jeans dropped to his ankles. He kicked the  jeans away and I stepped out of the dress. I could see his arousal through his boxer shorts. Matt kissed my neck, bringing his hands to my bum. I pulled the boxer shorts down and Matt stepped out of them. He turned around and pulled the duvet cover back, then sat on the bed, slowly, shifting himself to the middle. Still sitting up, he reached out and pulled me on top of him. I sat on his lap, facing him, one knee either side of his thighs. He looked into my eyes nervously.

"You sure you want to do this babe?" he whispered. I nodded, running a hand through his hair. Matt snaked his ams around my back, pulling off my bra and throwing it aside. He slowly and cautiously moved both hands to my hips and held me where I was. There was practically silence in the room except for the sound of our heavy breathing. Matt leant forward and softly kissed my left breast, then my right, teasing my nipples with his tongue, before looking up at me. I smiled and kissed his lips. Then I reached down and started to pull my knickers off. Matt's hand grabbed mine.

"What's up?" I whispered.

"If you hang on two seconds, I'll get a condom. I have some in my bag." I put a finger to his lips and shook my head.

"It's okay. We'll go without." He searched my eyes for a reason but I wouldn't give him one. Instead, I looked down and somehow managed to pull my knickers off without making a complete arse of myself. As I lowered myself back down, I lowered myself onto Matt. He smiled as he found his way inside of me. Slowly, I started to move back and forth on his lap, causing Matt to groan in my ear. I slowly built up a rhythm, Matt's hands finding their way back onto my hips, controlling the speed. We went slowly, savouring every moment we were together. I wanted this night to be special. Matt kissed me, his tounge roaming my mouth. I put both my hands to his face as the kisses became shorter and softer. We carried on together for at least a further 20 or 30 minutes.

"Emma," Matt groaned quietly in my ear, signalling to me that he was nearing his peak. I quickened the pace slightly before he came powerfully inside me, waves of pleasure moving through my body as I came about a second later. When he was sure he was finished, Matt pulled out of me, kissing me softly. He rolled me off of him then laid on his side next to me, pulling the duvet over the both of us. He kissed me again, then sighed, rolling onto his back. I snuggled up next to him and he put an arm around me. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat softly. He ran his hand up my arm and kissed my forehead. "How did I manage to bag you as a fiancee after the way I've treated you?" he asked himself. I smiled

"Matt, It's just a crazy little thing called Love," I told him. He smiled and kissed me yet again. He reached away from me and switched the bedside lamp off, plunging the room into darkness.

"I love you," he whispered softly as our bodies entwined and we both fell into a peaceful sleep.