1
“Boo!” What the hell? “Well, you’re no fun in the morning.” I heard him say, followed by a deep sigh. One side of the double bed lowered, caused by the boy that was sitting on it, his legs crossed and looking at me. “You’re gonna be late if you stay in bed.”
“Shuddup ‘n’ go away!” I mumbled into my pillow and pulled the covers over my head.
“Matt and Charlie ain’t gonna like it if you’re late.” I heard him move over the bed and felt the covers exposing my half naked body. “Come on, dad. You promised them.” Right, I was going to be late anyway, no need to pull the covers away. They were so nice and warm. “Dad!” His cold hands hit my back and I jumped.
“Mike, just get fucking lost, okay!” I sat up straight, almost freezing to death due to the open window and the fresh morning air. He was still looking at me. That accusing look in his eyes.
“Fine.” Clever boy he was. For a six year old anyway. I think he got that from me.
I got up from the bed and picked up the first thing I saw to pull on.
“When am I gonna see mum?” He asked, watching me getting dressed, his blue eyes almost penetrating.
“Tonight.” His mum and I never got married. Rose broke up with me after a lot of hassle with the band. She couldn’t take it anymore, broke up and found out she was pregnant of my child.
“Are mum and you ever going to get back together again?” I shook my head. Are six year olds meant to be a pain in the ass?
“I don’t think so. Mum’s got a new boyfriend, remember?” He frowned and bit his lower lip.
“Yeah, I don’t like Jake that much.” Surprisingly, neither did I.
“How comes?” I asked. I wasn’t interested in that guy or in his relationship with the mother of my son, but Mike liked everyone. Even the old hag that lived in the house next to us and squeezed Mike’s cheeks every time we went out and she came running down the drive. It was a bit weird for Mike not to like someone.
I slipped into the Vans that I was addicted to and sat next to my son. He looked me in the eye. I could see he was scared of something. Or someone.
“I mean. I meant. Jake is funny. He tickles me. And then I laugh.” He said nervously and smiled. I ruffled him through his hair.
“That’s what tickling is supposed to do.” I said and took his hand. “Come on, the guys are waiting.”
“James mate, finally!” Matt exclaimed when he saw me and slapped me playfully on my shoulder. “And I see you brought your kid. Hello Mikey.” He said and did a high-five with Mike.
“Hi, uncle Matt.” Mike smiled and jumped into his uncle’s arms. “Where’s the tall one?” He asked, looking around in the diner. Matt pointed to a table, to which Mike ran off to and jumped next to Charlie on the sofa. I saw him nicking a chip from Charlie’s plate and giving a quick and innocent look over at me.
“So, how’s it hanging dude?” Matt asked, swinging an arm around my neck, while walking over to the other two.
“Oh. Fine, fine. Rose’s got herself a new boyfriend.” I sat next to Matt and opposite of Mike, so I could keep an eye on him. Mike was chomping on another chip.
“His name is Jake and he tickles me.” He said, in between chomps.
“Oh, is that so?” Charlie asked, Mike nodded and started laughing hysterically when Charlie tickled him.
“I’m guessing you don’t like the guy?” Matt asked me, an eyebrow half raised.
“No, not really.” I answered him, looking at the menu and deciding that I wanted plain chips and a double portion of chicken nuggets.
“You never like them,” Matt replied before ordering food for the rest. “Can’t blame you though. They’re all screwing the mother of your kid.” I hit him over the head.
“And that kid is right here, Matt.” I said, even though it didn’t seem that Mike had heard him; he was playing with the food with Charlie. The chips were soldiers and the ketchup served as blood. Several exploding bomb and dying people sounds were heard all over the cafeteria.
“Boom!” Mike screamed and squished a chip by slamming it down with his hand. The smashed chip, which was now mash, stuck to his hand. He reached out to Charlie’s jacket, who wasn’t looking for a minute, so he could get rid of the smashed chip on his hand. I caught him in the act.
“Mikey! Damn it, wipe it off with a napkin.” I handed him one of those white paper napkins that are not meant to blow your nose in. “And stop playing with Charlie’s food, okay? You’re supposed to eat it, not bombard it with your hands and ketchup.” I added, and found myself a good dad. I gave Charlie a couple of coins and sent them off to the pin-ball machine.
“Mike seems to like that new boyfriend of Rose.” Matt started, watching Charlie and the kid playing pin-ball.
“Yeah, I don’t know, though. He said he didn’t like him this morning.” Matt shrugged and sunk down in the red leather sofa.
“He’s only a kid.” He concluded and took a chicken nugget off the plate that just got served.
“Yeah, but I don’t like him, either. He’s one weird chap.”
“I bet he is,” Matt mumbled, taking a long drag from his cigarette.
“I mean like, he rides this Harley bike and wears those biker jackets. It doesn’t surprise me if he has a criminal record.” Mike shoved his feet under the table and pulled the plate with chicken nuggets to himself.
“What’s a criminal record?” He asked, chewing on a nugget.
“A list of bad things that you’ve done in your life.” I explained to him in the most simple way possible.
“Do I have a criminal record?” Charlie laughed.
“Yeah, they’ve listed all the chips you’ve killed today.” Mike’s jaw dropped and the nugget he was holding fell back onto the plate.
“They’re watching me?” He brought out and looked around for people who could be potential watchers. Charlie nodded, and pointed to a fat guy who was sitting at the bar, eating a hamburger.
“I bet he’s one of them.” Mike hit Charlie’s hand down.
“Don’t point at him! What if he sees you pointing at him? Maybe he’ll kill you!” I sighed at this highly not intellectual conversation between a 25-year old and a 6-year old.
“No one’s gonna get killed. Just eat those nuggets.” I said. Mike did as he was told and slurped from the coke. “Anyway, how’s you and Jules?” I asked Matt.
“We’re cool. She starts talking about babies now. And she can’t get enough of the things I tell about Mikey.” He rolled his eyes. “That reminds me. I had to ask when the fellow is coming over for the weekend again.” He nodded towards Mike, I smiled and watched my little man picking the crust off a nugget.
“Not any time soon. Next week he’s off to Rose’s. Week after that he’s at my place. He’s having his birthday party that weekend for his seventh.” I saw Mike’s eyes lighting up.
“I’m gonna be a big boy then. I’m gonna be seven!” He yelped and turned to Charlie. “Are you coming too, Charlie?” He asked. Charlie smiled.
“Course. I’m gonna get ya the biggest present ever.”
“Hey, what about me?” Matt butted in. “Am I not invited?” Mike smiled cheekily.
“Only if you’re getting me a big present.”
“Mike, don’t be so rude.” I said, trying to give him some manners.
“I’m gonna be a big boy, I deserve a big present. That’s what Jake says. Jake says I’m a big boy.” Matt and I exchanged a look.
“No wonder…” Matt whispered and pushed the cigarette in the brown, plastic ashtray.
“That you’re a big boy, doesn’t mean that you deserve big presents.” I said, trying to get it to his head that one thing doesn’t mean another.
“But I’m a big boy then.” Mike tried, and pulled a sad face. “And Jake said so.”
“Well, Jake isn’t your dad, is he?” Mike shook his head, a smile curled around the corners of his mouth.
“No, you are!” He was proud of his old man, I could see it in his eyes. “What are you gonna get me for my birthday, daddy?” I didn’t think about that yet. What do you get for your kid who’s gonna turn seven? He had everything his little heart desired.
“Depends on what you want.” I said, trying to avoid to just ask what he wanted for his birthday because I was so desperate.
“I want you and mum back together again, but I guess that isn’t possible.” I shook my head in agreement. “Then I want that super cool new game for my Playstation. The one you can shoot guys and have to steal cars. The game uncle Matt has.” Mike was getting all excited and bobbed up and down on the sofa. I rolled my eyes over to Matt.
“You let him shoot guys?” Matt acted as if he didn’t know anything about it.
“Yeah, it was really cool, huh uncle Matt? It was like, BOOM! And BANG! And then we had to steal a car and we had to go to that house where those girls without clothes on danced and, and.” He thought for a moment. “Oh, I killed this really fat man with only swim shorts on and he was bleeding, dad, you wouldn’t believe it. I was like, BANG! And he was lying in the sand on the beach bleeding. It was so cool, huh uncle Matt?” He looked over at Matt, who still acted he wasn’t even there. “Can I get that game, dad? It was so cool. Then I can play it too when uncle Matt’s over at our house. And, and then I can play it with Jake too. I bet he’s really good at shooting fat guys.” A small muffled laughter escaped from Matt’s mouth. I could hear it. He thought it was funny. A six year old shooting fat people wasn’t funny. Not even on Playstation. “Or is that going to be on my criminals report too?” Matt laughed out loud this time. I didn’t see the funny side of this. My son killed people on the Playstation. My six year old son.
“Criminal record, Mikey.” Matt corrected him. “And I don’t think your dad likes the idea.” I saw him trying to hide the smile and the almost escaping laughter. His face was turning a vague shade of red and he was biting his lower lip.
“Oh.” Mike said, his face showing a sad expression. I seriously couldn’t resist a sad face, but shooting people was beyond my ideas for a present.
“Let that be a warning for you two, too. I don’t want him to get any sort of present like that.” I said, I saw Charlie biting his lip. I think he wanted to get that game for Mike’s birthday, but I wasn’t having any of it.
“But John from my class has the game too. His mum says that he can play it, as long as he doesn’t do anything like it at school.” Mike tried. “But John’s mum is stupid. She lets him take peanut butter rolls to school.” He shook his head. “I hate peanut butter.” He pulled a disgusted face. “It smells.”
“The most putrid, repugnant thing in the world.” Charlie randomly added, stretching his arms. Mike nodded his head. He pointed at Charlie.
“The most pu… pur… repunag…” He looked at Charlie. “What he said.”
“Anything else you want for your birthday?” I asked, laughing, changing the subject drastically. I saw Mike’s small forehead wrinkling up, his finger on his chin. He was thinking.
“Hmm,” He began. I was prepared for any other thing he wanted, whatever it would be. “I saw this really cool colouring book of the Powerpuff Girls in a shop the other day.” He said wisely, as if it was like this really expensive and important thing to get. “But then I would need new colour pencils as well.” Well, that wasn’t too bad. A Powerpuff Girls colouring book. Oh, and pencils. I could’ve guessed it would be something like that. He absolutely loved the Powerpuff Girls for some reason. He’d stick his face right up the TV screen when they were on. He’d even take his plate with him if it was on while we were having dinner. Rose had already given me a lecture about him watching cartoons while having dinner. But I guess it wouldn’t do any harm. It was only a cartoon. With girls. And he liked the girls. That was a good thing.
“You like the Powerpuff Girls then, Mike?” Charlie asked, an arm around the boy’s fragile shoulders. He nodded and smiled. “Who’s you favourite?” Oh dear, his favourite. Hide now.
“Blossom. I like her. She’s all really pretty and red.” He stated. “I like her.” He repeated with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. “Dad, do you think I will ever meet her?” I laughed, softly, I didn’t want him to think I was actually laughing at him.
“No, Blossom lives in Cartoonland, where all the people from TV live.” Mike took this gratefully, but was still a bit disappointed.
“Are we going on a holiday to Cartoonland one day?” Right, it was already time for him to go to bed. I was getting tired. He should go to bed. That’s the way it works. Matt saw this.
“I don’t think that’s possible, Mikey. You can only go to Cartoonland if you’re on TV.” Mike turned to Matt. “And no, I can’t get you on TV.” I looked at my watch; nearly 2pm already.
“Right, Mike, say bye to Matt and Charlie. We’re going home. We should be getting some stuff together, I’m dropping you off at mum’s in two hours.” Mike nodded, and hugged Charlie. His little arms curling around Charlie’s neck and nearly choking the poor lad.
“Bye Charlie. Bring me the biggest present on my birthday!” Charlie laughed and nodded.
“I will, sport, I will.” Mike turned to Matt, who had stood up and was standing next to the table now. Mike jumped up and Matt caught him for a hug.
“And you…” Mike’s voice softened and he whispered something in his ear. “Promise me.” He said firmly.
“I promise. Don’t tell your dad though.” He gave Mike a secret wink and put him back on the ground. “Shooting guys and naked girls.” He whispered into my ear. “I’ll say Charlie borrowed the game when he asks for it.” I nodded, and thought that was a good plan.
“Now come on, little man. You mum’s waiting for you.” I said and took Mike by his hand. “See you guys in two weeks.” I said, gave a small wave and pulled Mike away from the pin-ball machine he was dragging me to.
I packed some toys for Mike and some other things that he liked to take with him while he was staying with his mother. I always hated it when I had to bring him there. It wasn’t like I hated Rose because she left me, but because I still loved her. To see her with an other guy hurt like hell, and especially when Mike, like now, liked the lad she was shagging. I dumped the bag in the trunk of the car and sat Mike in the front seat, fastened his seat belt and got in myself. Rose didn’t live far from my house; only a twenty minute drive. By the time we got there, Mike was already fast asleep and I had to carry him out of the car and get the bag out of the trunk, which was a slight problem. As I wandered off and on to the trunk and back to the car door, I decided to bring Mike inside first and get the bag later.
In an impossible way, I rang the bell and waited for someone to open the door. Luckily for me, Jake opened the door. I said my polite hi, handed him the kid and walked back to the car to get the bag.
“Hello James.” Rose said as she closed the door behind me and took the bag. I looked around the room, Mike was sleeping peacefully on the couch, Jake was sitting next to him, watching sports on TV. I didn’t want to stay any longer. It felt as if I was invading their house and I wasn’t welcome at all.
“Yeah, have to go now, though.” I walked up to my little fellow, stroked him softly over his head, gave a small kiss on his forehead and walked back to the hallway. “Was nice seeing you again, Rose.” She smiled at me and opened the door. Had to get out of there as soon as possible.
2
Rose literally dumped Mike at my place that next week a day too early, on a Friday evening. She’d shoved Mike inside the house, followed by his bag and turned away. I felt like I had done something wrong, but that wasn’t even possible; I hadn’t seen her that week. I think that there was something going on between her and Jake, by the brief look on her cheek. There was this slightly reddened bruise on her left cheek and bags under her pretty green eyes. Even back in the days when she was with me, she had looked better than that. Not that I had ever hit her, but she had always looked fresh and fruity. Now she was with that Jake person, she looked worse with the week, even if had only been a few weeks that she’d been going out with him.
I took the bag and put it under the staircase for the next time I was going up. Mike had planted himself on the couch and was watching cartoons once again. But this time it was different. It seemed as if he wasn’t looking at the screen, well he was, but not like he was actually watching the programme. I sat next to him and put an arm around him. It’d been a bit quiet without him around the house.
“What’s up, sport?” Mike cringed and squirmed, as if I was a burning flame that he had burnt himself on. He curled up in the corner of the sofa, pulling his legs up. “Had a good time at mum’s?” Still no answer. “Did she take you to the park as she’d promised you to?” Quiet. Or he was going deaf, or there was something serious up. I placed my bets on the last one. He wasn’t one to be quiet, he never was when he came home from his mother’s. All the stories he had up his sleeve and all the things he’d done while he was there. But this time there was nothing. No smile, no laugh, no story. Only a cringe and a squirm. “Is there something wrong?” I asked worriedly. He shrugged.
“I think I’m just a bit tired.” He said, not even looking at me. At least he was talking.
“Then we must get you to bed.” I said, and stood up. He watched me with a sly eye and followed my example. He shoulders hung low and he was bending a bit forwards. He looked a bit sad, really. Not just tired.
As I was helping him with his pyjamas, I noticed a large bruise on his leg. And also one on his upper arm.
“What did you do there, Mike?” I asked and nodded towards the bruises. He quickly pulled on the pyjamas.
“Nothing, fell when we were at the park.” He dived into his bed with the Superman bedcovers and pulled them up to his chin.
“Okay, well. You go rest now from that park adventure that I will be glad to hear about tomorrow morning. Don’t let the bedbugs bite you.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. I turned off the bedlight with the little moon and stars on it, switched off the main light and closed the bedroom door. I didn’t believe a word about the falling in the park. That couldn’t give him such large bruises. No way in hell. I couldn’t exactly pull my conclusions yet, but I had my suspicions, not only with a little help from that red bruise on Rose’s cheek.
That next morning was a bit quiet. Mike was eating his cereal as a good boy, but seeing that Mike was on the overall not a good boy, it was weird. I mean, Mike was a good boy when it came to listening when I told him what to do, such as eat your cereal, but normally he was chatting away in the mornings and I had to tell him to shut up, so I could read my paper. This time I put away my paper and watched my kid for a minute or so playing with the cereal. He hadn’t eaten one spoon of that stuff since I made it for him half an hour earlier that morning.
“So you had a good time at the park with mum?” Mike just nodded. “You played with the Playstation with Jake too?” Another nod. “How was school?” Not a yes or no question, he had to open his mouth this time.
“Fine.” Not what I expected, but he said something. Time for plan B.
“Did John bring those nasty peanut butter rolls with him again?” I got him giggling. He put the spoon away and looked at me for the first time that morning.
“Yeah, they were really smelly this time and he got his tongue stuck in the peanut butter.” More giggling. “When the teacher wasn’t looking, he drew a picture of her with the peanut butter.” Giggling again. It seemed as if it had got him back to normal. I didn’t dare to touch the mum or Jake subject again.
“Do you remember what day it is today?” I think Mike had forgotten what day it was, seeing that his mother had brought him back home a day earlier than planned. I watched him think. His eyes began to sparkle.
“It’s my birthday!” He yelped. I nodded and took his present out of the cupboard in the kitchen. It was all nicely wrapped up in the shop I had bought it, complete with a bowtie. I shoved it to him over the table. His small hands found the red paper that he had ripped all off within seconds. The bright pink was a big contrast with the green of one of the Powerpuff Girls. He held it up in the air as if it was some sort of trophy, after that the Powerpuff pencil case and the new pencils. He looked like the happiest little man on earth. The most simple thing in the world made him smile, despite the Playstation and Game Cube he had in his room. Not to mention the three bikes and his own little electric guitar. He had wanted that so much because ‘daddy had one too’. I was only happy to give him that, he might follow my footsteps one day. In the future. Hopefully.
It wasn’t until around 1pm that Matt came wandering in with his girlfriend, Julie. His present outdid mine; he had all the episodes of the Powerpuff Girls bought on tape, so Mike could watch it anytime he wanted now. Julie herself had gotten him one of those bangle necklaces that I had one myself a long time back. He loved it to bits as far as I could see and couldn’t stop playing with it until Matt took him to his room to play a game he took with him on the Playstation. Julie and I were left alone downstairs. I was actually expecting Rose to show up around this time, or more hoping that she would show up so I wouldn’t be alone with Julie. Believe me, Julie was a nice girl, and pretty too, but she could talk for hours without giving you the chance the escape.
“He’s such a cute chap, that kid of yours.” All I did was smile and thinking of an excuse to get away for a minute or so. “He looks like you, too. Not only the blue eyes and the blonde hair, but he’s a bit cheeky and talkative too.” She sighed and smiled to herself. “I can’t wait until Matt and I are starting to practise for babies.” Oh God, not again. “Don’t tell Matt, but I already stopped taking the pill.” I gulped. Not Matt babies any time soon. Please, no. One Matt was enough for the time being. “Something wrong, James?”
“No, no, nothing’s wrong. Can’t wait ‘til there’s little Matties walking around.” I lied, I couldn’t tell her the truth, could I? That’d be a bit harsh. “Want something to drink?” I asked casually, desperately trying to move on.
“Water will do, thanks.” She nodded, smiled and got back to her little baby world.
“You think Matt is ready for babies?” Just drop the babies, woman!
“I don’t know, you should ask him that yourself.”
“Ask what?” I heard a voice coming from behind me. Matt was back with a bouncing Mike. Matt kissed Julie delicately on her cheek.
“When are we starting to practise for babies?” She asked him as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I saw little drops of sweat forming on Matt’s forehead. He swiftly looked at me, then back at Julie.
“Well, I dunno, honey. Can’t we wait for a bit longer?” Julie’s neatly plucked eyebrows raised.
“We’ve been waiting for almost four years, Matt. I’m nearly 26, can’t we start now?” Matt showed a cheeky smile.
“Not the now, baby. We’re at someone else’s house.” Matt, being the dick he was, talked himself out of his lame excuse as per usual. Julie took this, as always and smiled his way, a cheeky giggle followed. A knock on the door made Mike run to the hallway and with his small hands he opened the door and jumped into Charlie’s arms. Charlie was alone; he didn’t bring a girl with him. I guess ever since Camilla broke up with him, he gave up on love and the only time that I saw a girl on his arm, was when he’d picked up a random girl from a club, who got dumped after one night.
“What did you bring me, what did you bring me?” Mike rattled, and tried to look in the plastic bag. When he finally saw the present, he looked a bit disappointed. “You said you’d bring me the biggest present ever.” Charlie took Mike to the living room and put him on the couch. He opened the plastic bag and took out the present he had gotten Mike for his seventh birthday. It was on the small side, long and round. I couldn’t even guess what it was.
“You’ll love this.” Charlie teased and handed him the present. Mike looked a bit suspiciously at the blue wrapping paper but opened it anyway. Two wooden sticks got revealed after Mike had ripped off all the paper. He was looking at it as if it was something he’d never seen before, which was probably true.
“What is it?” He looked at it, then at Charlie, followed by a look over at me.
“They’re drumsticks.” Charlie cleverly said and did a drumming in the air session.
“But I don’t have a drum-kit.” Mike raised both of his eyebrows, even I didn’t know what Charlie was implying. Mike didn’t have a drum-kit. Why on earth did he give him drumsticks? He could only poke someone’s eye out with them.
“Yeah, well…” Charlie began. “I couldn’t exactly wrap the whole drum-kit up, could I?” I rolled my eyes away and let out a sigh. Not a drum-kit! What was he thinking? My guy was going to be a guitarist, not a drummer! That’s just ridiculous. By the looks of it, Mike still didn’t get what Charlie was saying, so he took him back to the car. After a few minutes or so, Mike came back bobbing in the room.
“Uncle Charlie got me a drum-kit!” He screeched and did a small dance.
“Really?” I said, giving Charlie a look, who only smiled. “Charlie, that’s way too expensive for a six year old boy.”
“Seven.”
“Plus, it will make a lot of noise.”
“I will be really quiet, I promise.”
“And where do you think I’d put it? There’s hardly any room for those Powerpuff Girls videos that Matt brought.”
”I can put it in my room.”
“Mike, I’m talking here, just zip it up, okay?” He did the zipping up sound and closed his mouth, turning to Julie and talking about the colouring book I got him.
“I can put it in my place, if you like. Then you won’t have to hear your own son practise and you’ll save some space around here where you only live with two people.” Charlie stated. “Then he can practise with me, you’re no good at drumming anyway.” He concluded.
“True.” I agreed and looked over my shoulder to Mike, who was happily chatting and showing Julie the pictures in the colouring book. “I’d like that, but you could have gotten him a fucking colouring book for all I care.” I whispered, making sure Mike would never get bad words off me.
“You got him a colouring book, silly.” Charlie said, teasingly. He god damn knew well what I meant. Or maybe he was just as stupid as he had always looked.
“It was an example, Charlie. An example.” I hissed towards him, an angry look spread upon my face.
“Well, I’m sorry if I care about your kid!” He yelled and turned his back on me, making the other three people in the house looking at me, as if I had done something bad. I sighed, shrugged and rolled my eyes. I don’t know why I was being so stubborn; Mike liked the drum-kit and he couldn’t play it yet anyway so it wouldn’t make any serious noises. On top of that, we had neighbours, but you could never hear it if they played their music up really loud. And I lied when I said that there was no room; our house was big enough for a family with eight children. And a dog. Which I didn’t have. Maybe Mike liked playing drums, maybe even more than the guitar that I gave him which he never played. Or hardly ever played anyway. That was partly my fault; everytime he wanted to practise, he’d ask me if I could help him, but I always refused because I just didn’t feel like it. I taught myself too, didn’t I? Nobody helped me when I wanted to play guitar. He should follow the same road as I had done. Makes you a man, even though Mike was only six. Seven. He just turned seven, Bourne, remember that.
It was Wednesday afternoon when I came to pick up Mike after school. He came walking over to me with his Spiderman bag, his head hung low and he was counting the tiles. When he looked up, I saw that he had a split lip and a small scratch in his neck. I squatted down in front of my boy and took his bag.
“Hey sport. What happened?” I asked him, inspecting the split lip. Mike shrugged.
“John hit me because I said his peanut butter rolls were smelly.” I raised an eyebrow. What kid would hit someone because he’d said that his rolls were smelly? But then again, those kids were around the age of six or seven and didn’t know any better. Or at least that John didn’t know any better, apparently.
“And where is John now?” Mike looked around him, searching for the John kid, then pointed at a small redhead, holding his mum’s hand and walking towards the gate of the school. “You wait in the car, okay?” Mike nodded, took his bag back and ran towards the car. I stood up from my squat position and smiled to the woman holding the redhead. “I’m sorry, are you John’s mother?” The woman with brown dyed hair, a tired face and a few wrinkles here and there smiled back at me.
“Yes, I am. Emma.” She stuck out her hand, I took it and shook it.
“James. My boy just told me that John has hit Mike a split lip?” The woman looked down to her kid, the kid looked with the same puzzled expression back at his mum.
“Excuse me?” Oh, don’t deny it. Your perfectly behaving boy when he’s around his mum hit my kid, okay!
“John hit Mike, basically. I want to know if it’s true.” The woman shook her head.
“Well, I wasn’t there and it doesn’t seem that John’s ever going to admit it if he did it. I think you should ask the teacher, she was there, I wasn’t. I must be off now, I’ve got four other mouths to feed, thank you very much.” She snapped and pushed her way passed me. I watched her walk away, got back to the car and told him that I would be back in a minute.
The blonde teacher with the nicely tanned legs was just about to light a cigarette when I approached her.
“Miss Johnson?” I asked, and shook her hand.
“You must be Mr Bourne, Mike’s dad.” I nodded. “I knew it, he looks like you. Cute, I love the blue eyes.” I looked down and felt my cheeks flushing a shade of red. “What is it that you want to talk about, Mr Bourne?”
“Please, call me James.”
“Very well, James.”
“Right, yes, erm. Mikey told me that John hit him a split lip today. Do you know anything about this?” Miss Johnson raised both of her eyebrows.
“I’m sorry, no. John is always such a sweet kid, apart from when he draws pictures of me with peanut butter when I’m not looking, of course.” She laughed softly. “Plus, Mike and John are best friends as far as I know. Though I did see a guy by the gate on lunch break. He was talking to Mike. Wearing one of those biker jackets, scary lad.” I sighed.
“Yeah, that must’ve been Jake, the new boyfriend of Mike’s mum.” Miss Johnson’s mouth formed an ‘o’.
“Oh. Anyway, when break was over, Mike came back with a split lip. I tried to stop the bleeding and cleaned it a bit.” I put up half a smile. She held out the packet of cigarettes. “Want one?” I shook my head and glanced over at the car.
“No thanks, don’t smoke. Thanks for the info.” She gave a small nod and lit a cigarette.
“Did Jake come to visit you at school today?” I asked Mike, who was happily colouring one of the Powerpuff Girls in his brand new colouring book. With new pencils. Mike shook his head without looking up. The shaking changed into nodding and he looked up. “Did he hit you there?” Mike shook his little head once again and continued colouring. I could tell he was lying.
“John hit me, I told you.” I pulled the colouring book away from him and put it on the other side of the table.
“Don’t lie to me.” Mike simply picked up all his pencils, and moved to the other side of the table, to continue colouring again. Mike acted like he wasn’t hearing it and furiously pushed the red pencil into the paper of the colouring book. “I want you to be honest, Mike. Did Jake hit you?” Mike started humming an unknown song and rocked back and forth while colouring. “For God’s sake, I’m talking to you!” I hit the pencil out of his hand, along with all the pencils on the table and the colouring book. He pulled his short legs up onto the chair and rocked back and forth, whilst humming the song, louder and louder. “Why was he there?” I tried again, calming down a bit. Mike just hummed even louder. “I’m asking you something.” Still no answer. “Mike, talk to me!” I raised my hand to pull it through my hair. Mike ducked and held his hands over his head to protect himself. I immediately shot to my son and hugged him. He started to cry and tried to pull away from me, but I was holding him so tight, it even surprised me that he could breathe. I tried to shush him for a minute or so, and eventually he curled his arms around my neck and clung himself onto me. With him pressed against my belly and his arms tightly around my neck, his legs holding on to my back, I walked a bit through the house, stroking his back and shushing him. I was sure Jake had hit him, but why was Mike getting so upset about it? I know it isn’t the most normal thing in the world that a guy hits you, but he seemed so afraid and ducked when I only raised my hand.
I sat down on the sofa, Mike on my lap, I was drying his tears, trying to get those glistering blue eyes back. He held onto my shirt, afraid that I would leave him, he swallowed and his body shook from the last tears.
“He hit you, didn’t he?” In between shocks, he nodded his little head. His lip had started bleeding again and Mike tried to wipe it away with the back of his hand. “Don’t touch it. We’ll clean it up.” He smiled half a smile and climbed off my lap to walk with me to the kitchen. He looked at the pencils that were spread on the floor and the colouring book with one page half ripped out of it. “We’ll get you a new one, okay?” Mike shook his head and grabbed my hand as I cleaned up his lip. He closed his eyes, I guessed that it pricked a little.
“Can we go over to Uncle Matt’s?” Obviously, Mike loved his Uncle, but I didn’t see the reason why we’d go now. I nodded and threw away the piece of tissue that I used for his lip. “Can I play that game, please? For this time?” I frowned, he wanted to play the game on Playstation at his Uncle’s. Not making sense. But maybe it’d bring his mind off the hitting scene at school. Again I nodded my head, his hand found mine and we walked out the front door, without cleaning up anything in the house, just leaving it as it was.
“Hello, didn’t expect you two visiting today.” Julie said as she opened the door. I nodded towards Mike, she saw what I meant and took Mike’s hand. “Let’s get you something to drink.” She smiled, knowing that I’d like to speak to Matt alone. “He’s in his office, I think he’s busy though. He’s got loads of work lately.” She whispered and walked off with Mike on her side.
I knocked on the door, a deep voice answered with a ‘come in’ and I opened the door. Matt was a full-time producer after the band had split up shortly after Mike was born. He was bent over a pile of papers and was writing furiously.
“Yo,” I said casually, not trying to scare the living daylights out of him. Even though I had said it softly, he jumped up and turned around on the chair he was sat on.
“James, mate. What brings you here? Where’s Mikey?” Matt was actually a kinda worried person, especially when it came to my son. He’d loved him since the first time he saw him, and they just grew closer with every time they saw each other. I think my serious face said enough, and Matt stood up from the chair. “Is he okay? What happened?”
“He’s with Julie at the moment. He’s okay, only a split lip and a small scratch in his neck.” I could clearly hear Matt sighing from relief. “Jake was at his school today,” I said, subtly hinting.
“Oh really?” Matt raised both of his eyebrows. “Did he hurt Mikey?” I nodded, I could see the anger building up inside him and he formed his hands to fists, ready to hit someone square in the face.
“I don’t think that this was the first time, he was scared and ducked when I raised my hand.” I could only barely stop Matt from running out of his office and to the car to drive off to Jake and beat the shit out of him.
“And he’s not going to do it again!” He yelled, I was pushing him against his chest, he pressed me up against the closed door. He pushed me aside, trying to open the door. “Just let me get through, I’m gonna hit that fat bastard so hard, you don’t wanna know!” He growled as a wild animal. “James, just get out of the fucking way!” I gave one hard push that made him back away from me and the door.
“Calm down, I can handle this myself, I just wanted someone to talk to.” I said calmly, my arms hanging numb along my body, my chest going up and down faster than usual.
“He’s not gonna live through this.” He said, pointing towards the door. As if by magic, the door opened and a small kid ran towards Matt. Matt sat down on the chair and took Mike on his lap, looking from the split lip to me and back to Mike, who had curled his arms around Matt’s neck.
“Can we play that game, Uncle Matt? Dad said I could.” He asked him, Matt glanced over at me, I nodded.
I stopped the car in front of the house, it was around dinner time, Mike was still at Matt’s. I took advantage of the situation and drove off to Rose’s house. I needed to speak to her; I wasn’t going to let my kid beaten up by some arsehole that calls himself my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. Although I was scared like shit, because Jake was at least a head taller than me and way more muscled than I was, I got up to the door and rang the bell. There was someone home; Rose’s car was on the driveway. I looked through the little window in the door, seeing if there was anyone going to open the door. It didn’t seem like there was anyone coming, so I kicked in with the plan that I had in reserve, even though it was a bit lame.
“Rose!” I yelled. I know, it’s lame, but I didn’t have a key and I was sure there was someone home. “Rose! Open the door please, I need to talk to you!” The door got pulled open in a flash, and an angry Jake was who I was facing.
“Well, hello there.” He said, not sounding all too nice.
“Hi,” My voice trembled, I scraped my throat and straightened my back. “Erm, can I talk to you or Rose for a minute. It’s kinda urgent.” Well done, James Bourne! You win an award for the most intimidating line ever. Jake pulled the door open a bit more so I could get through. I gave him a weak smile and stepped in, a shiver going down my spine. “Where’s Rose?” I asked, looking around living room and turning to Jake.
“She’s upstairs, asleep. You’ll have to do it with me.” For some reason, I gulped. I think he heard. I wasn’t afraid of him. It just looked that way. Ahem.
“Well,” I scraped my throat once again. “Good, because it’s actually about you.” I paused and looked at his respond. Nothing. “And Mikey.” Jake raised an eyebrow.
“What about Mikey?” I nervously rubbed my hands against each other and pulled a hand through my hair.
“Well, I have reasons to believe you hit my son.” I finished it off with a cough. Not sounding very good, maybe it covered it up a bit.
“Excuse me?” He sounded quite surprised. Inwardly, I was already curling up to a ball, protecting myself for him.
“You heard me.” I looked him in the eye, trying to tell him I wasn’t afraid, but I was shitting myself, really. “And I also think that you are beating up my girl- beating up Rose.”
“That’s ridiculous!” He yelled, his arms waving about in the air.
“Jake?” Went a voice, it seemed as if it was coming from upstairs. “Who’s there? Jake, who’s there with you?” I recognised the voice this time, and it didn’t sound too good. Jake and I exchanged a look. He just stood there, looking at me, daring me to do something. And I did, I ran up the stairs, Jake didn’t even try to stop me.
I followed the callings, and found my ex-girlfriend lying on the floor in the bedroom. The duvet only barely covering half of her naked body. There was blood coming from her lip, and a small puddle of blood near her thighs. She looked at me in horror; she obviously didn’t expect me coming in. I stood frozen on the spot for a small second, which seemed like forever, until I finally moved to help her. I covered her up with the duvet, before pulling her up on her legs, which I failed miserably in. She wrapped her arms around my neck, desperately trying to keep herself up.
“I can’t…” She whispered and sunk down on the floor. I looked at her; I didn’t know what to do. Jake could come in any second and start beating the crap out of me. And yes, I was right. Just when I was about to kneel down next to her, to whisper sweet words into her ear, telling her that it would be okay and that I would get her out of there, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Jake seemed surprisingly calm, as if it was the most normal thing to find your girlfriend bleeding on the floor. Though, I did realize that it was Jake who had beaten her up, and possibly raped as well. I don’t know where he’d come from that fast, but in a flash, I saw Matt jumping on Jake, hitting him down and sitting on him, punching him in the face. I wasn’t sure what do, I only knew that I certainly wasn’t going to pull Matt off Jake. I’d probably get a fist in my face, as well, if I even tried. I turned to Rose, picked her up, and calmly walked her down the stairs, out the door and into my car. Had to get her out of there as soon as possible.
3
We turned Jake in with the police the very next day, but unfortunately, they had nothing to get him on. Yes, he did beat up Rose, but Jake had disappeared. Rose had a lot of awful tests she had to go through, Mike got interrogated, which he didn’t like, and apparently he had screamed ‘daddy’ when they had asked him about the beating up. He’d seen his mommy getting beaten up by this cruel man that he didn’t know that well. He was traumatised. It occurred to me that Rose had fought back because Jake was trying to kill her, but apparently, the police wasn’t that smart.
Not long after that, and Rose moved in with me and Mike. We started out as friends; we’d never been friends after she’d broke up with me and started dating again. I couldn’t even think about other women, and I always feared the worst when Rose had a new boyfriend. I mean, what was Mike supposed to think? He had, had fifteen other ‘daddies’ after our break up, at least. I didn’t want Mike to have a second mother, so I hadn’t even tried to get a date in the past seven years. But Rose and I grew closer to each other again, and had even carefully started dating again. It felt weird, I felt weird; I’d known Rose since I was eighteen, but it felt as if I’d never met her before, as if this was our first date. It was great, though. Everything went great, I felt great, Rose had looked beautiful, and Mike was with Matt, until she said she went to bed and locked herself up in the spare bedroom.
Everything was going fine again after a couple of weeks. Though little Mike was still a bit shaken up by everything that happened to him and his mum. Well, wouldn’t you be? Mike wanted to spend more time with Matt, for some reason. I guess he felt more safe there than with me. Can’t blame him; I didn’t protect him from the big, bad man that hit him. It did give Rose and me time to get back together again, which we gradually did. I knew I had to take the chance, when the time was right, so I proposed to her one evening. I never actually expected her to say yes, because we’d only been together for a few weeks. Again. She later told me that I should’ve asked her sooner, when I was still in the band, maybe she wouldn’t have left me then.
I don’t exactly want to remember this day, but it happened, and it’s part of my story so I guess I need to tell it.
It was a Saturday morning, Rose had already left for work, she actually worked at Charlie’s. Charlie had his own recording studio, and Rose did the catering. But anyway, Mike was finishing up his cereal in the kitchen when the bell rang. We didn’t expect anyone coming round this early on a Saturday morning, so I told Mike to clean up the cereal bowl and put it in the sink. I was very surprised when I opened the front door to only meet Jake. The worst ever man in the whole wide world. I didn’t get the chance to say anything, though. Not even to slam the door shut in his face. He stormed in the house, punched me in the face and ran straight over to my son. He grabbed him from behind, one of his arms wrapped around the boy’s small frame and pulling him back.
“What are you gonna do now? You can’t get your little friend up here.” I was dreading to think what he was going to do with Mike, I felt my lip, my fingers covered in blood. I was too afraid to do anything. “Are you going to help him, or are you just going to let him die?” He said calmly and pulled a gun out of his pocket.
“Daddy?” Mike whispered, and clung himself onto Jake’s arm, trying to break free. “Daddy, help me. He’s hurting me.” I moved one step closer to my kid, wanting him back in one piece, get him loose from the man who was most likely going to kill me or my son. Or both, in the worst scenario.
“Daddy doesn’t love you, Mikey. Daddy isn’t even trying to free you.” Mike shook his head vigorously and bit in Jake’s arm with power. Jake screamed out in pain, hitting Mike on his head, Mike started to cry. I bit my lower lip; if I was going to take one step closer, I was going to get killed, probably followed by Mike. If I was going to stand here and not do anything, Mike would get killed, and I would be second. If I was going to try something, at least Mike knew that I’d tried. Just move slowly, don’t make any sudden movements, and just try Bourne. You have to. It’s your son here, and you’re not going to let him die because some stupid bastard wants him to.
“Let go of him,” I whispered, stretching out my arm, only to touch my kid’s hand for probably the last time.
“Get away from us.” Jake yelled, swinging the gun in his hand, trying to point at me. “I swear to God, one last move and you’re a dead man.” I blinked, took another step, and heard a bang. I was afraid that Jake had shot my son, but I heard nothing after that. There was a silence, and then a soft weeping. I opened my eyes, saw Jake lying on the floor, and Mike standing there, looking at Jake, crying his poor little eyes out. When I looked up, I saw a tall figure breathing heavily, and holding one of the silver candlesticks that were on the kitchen table for tonight, for when Rose was coming over. He moved, as in slow-motion, and put the candlestick back on the table. The open back door let in a refreshing breeze of afternoon air, that I sniffed in gratefully. The sweat was in my palms, I looked from the figure over to Mike, who was still crying. I squatted down in front of him, picked him up and hugged him tight. I looked up at the figure.
“Thanks, Charlie.”
“No problem, told ya I cared about your son.”