August 5, 2001
It's hard to say where to begin. At 20 years of age, I still feel as though I am treated as a 6-year-old who has no common sense of her own and has to be guided every step of the way. College can be a wonderful time of discovery and triumph. But as I look around me at my situation, I see failure and a heaviness that is very difficult to brush aside. My parents worry about me, and for good reason. They worry about me getting good grades and succeeding and going places in the working world that they can never go without great sacrifice.
My father, more than anyone, wishes for me to succeed. It's so hard to measure up to his standards though. He put himself through college. He worked whenever he could. He feels that I must do the same. The problem comes when I explain to him that every person needs "down time" to gain the evergy back that is needed to do work. I am very lucky to have a father that loves and cares for me so much, but I am not him. I cannot live the same lifestyle as he did. I am my own person with my own ways of going about life.
These next few months are going to be a test of truths for me. Can I succeed in making myself a better person? Can I reach my goal of understanding my father. Time and patience are my only guides. I pray I don't loose sight of them.
- Kimmy