It was a cold, rainy winters night on the 20th January 2002, and Kian and I had been out with a few friends celebrating my 18th Birthday. Everyone says that your 18th is the best night of your life, but for me it turned out to be the worst.
After a quiet drink in my house we headed in to the town and went for a meal, with the drink flowing everyone was in good spirits.... everyone except Kian. To be honest I wasn't at all surprised, he'd been acting funny with me for the last couple of days and I'd given up trying to get it out of him, I just decided I'd have another chat with him in the morning. By the time we'd all finished our meal Kian started to come too. I don't know whether it was the drink or not but he started looking at me really funnily and it was starting to freak me out a bit.
After the pub-crawl we decided to hit one more pub before we went clubbing.
"So Kimmy, where do ya wanna go?" He asked wrapping his big strong arms around me. Fiona and Michelle gave one another a knowing look, they were convinced Kian had a thing about me, but I knew he didn't. We were best friends for goodness sake; I'd spent almost everyday with him for over 14 years. I knew everything there was to know about him. I knew he didn't look at me like that
"I dunno" I shrugged twisting my hair around my middle finger. After a couple of minutes debating over it we all decided to hit Finley's.After a couple more drinks in Finley's we were all rather tipsy.
"C'mon then Kim, " Kian purred "Lets hit the karaoke!" Running over to the karaoke machine Kian and I jumped around like a couple of little kids. It was a sort of tradition where we were concerned, every time we went clubbing together we'd always sing on the karaoke. After belting out Meat Loaf's Paradise On The Dash Board Light, we let Shane and Mark on which was rather surprising because once Kian and I were on no one else got a shot until we left. By the time we left Finley's it was safe to say I was really drunk.
When I fell on my arse for the fifth time Kian put his foot down.
"Kimberley c'mon your not being fair on anyone! Your too drunk, look at you! Your seriously going to hurt yourself, why don't you just let me take you home."
"You what?" I sneered. "Its my birthday!" I protested, praying they all wouldn't gang up on me.

"But that doesn't mean you have to drink yourself into a coma!" Mark laughed.
"Aww leave the girl alone" Shane smiled, "Its her birthday. C'mon sweetheart if these light weights cant handle the pace we'll leave them to it." He smiled flashing me his million-dollar smile. Good old Shane I thought, trust him to stick up for me.
"Shane," Fiona said "Look at the state of her, she's almost dead! We need to take her home."
"But I don't wanna go home." I protested falling onto the curb "My feet don't hurt yet look!" I cried showing them all my feet, "And I cant go home till my feet hurt, please don't make me Kian!" I pleaded looking into his eyes.
"Please baby just let me take you home."
"Why are you trying to ruin my birthday Ki?" I asked fiddling with the strap on my strappy sandals.
"Let me try." Mark smiled sitting down next to me. "Kim we really need to go home."
"Why?" I asked staring at him out of watery eyes, why was everyone trying to ruin my birthday?
"Well maybe your feet don't hurt, but mine bloody do! And I'm a man, and my feet aren't supposed to hurt." He laughed sticking his feet in my face. "So are ya gonna let us take you home?" I shook my head frantically.
"You lot go home if ya like, and me and Shane will go clubbing wont we Shaney Poo?" I asked looking over at Shane, but found him curled up in a little ball sleeping like a baby. Kian gentled pushed Mark out of the way and took his place on the cold curb.
"Kimmy Bear look at me" He cried cupping my chin, "Just look at me." He whispered as I tried to avoid all eye contact with him. "I'm not trying to ruin your birthday! I promise I'm not; I love you sweetheart I would not try and ruin your birthday I promise. You know that right." I nodded "I just want whats best for you, and I promise I'll take you out tomorrow night, but you've just had too much to drink tonight." I looked at my best friend and my heart swelled with pride, this lush lad in front of me was MY best friend, and he cared so much about me he was willing to cut short a night out to make sure I was all right! Taking in his amazing features I had to fight back the urge to kiss him right there and then. My knees started to go weak, and my heart started to pound, I don't what was going on but Kian Egan never had that effect on me before. Blushing slightly I went to play with the friendship ring Kian had bought me 3 years earlier for my 15th birthday. My heart stopped when I discovered it wasn't there. Kian saw the look of terror on my face
"K whats the matter?"
"Its....its.... my ring!" I stuttered "Its not there! I've lost it!"
"Are you sure you had it on?"
"Positive" I nodded "I remember putting it back on after I got out the shower tonight."
"Where did you last see it?"

"I don't know, I can't remember." I sobbed. I loved that ring, it might not have been much to anyone else but to me it stood for what my friendship with Kian was about.
"Hey its ok" Kian laughed stroking my hair. "I'll buy you a new one if it meant that much to you."
"I don't want a new one Kian! I want that one, I loved that ring. I have never taken it off in the three years that I've had it except for when I was going for a shower." Kian kissed the top of my head and stood up
"Right can you three try and get these two home alright?" Kian asked pointing at Shane and I who was still lying sleeping.
"Sure!" Fiona and Michelle said in unison.
"Where are ya going mate?" Mark asked.
"I'm going to try and find her ring. I'll call ya in the morning ok baby?" he smiled giving my one last kiss before walking away.
"Kimberley!" My dad yelled "The phone". Lifting my head off the pillow I thought I was going to throw up there and then. My head hurt so much. Staggering down the stairs I picked up the phone. I expected to hear Kian voice on the end of the line, my cheeks flushed a really dark shade of pink at just the thought of the way I'd reacted the night before.
"Hello?" I said, my voice still full of sleep.
"Hey sweetheart! Did ya have a nice night out?"
"Yes thanks Patricia, it was lovely." I said talking to Kian's mum. It came as no shock to hear Patricia's voice on the other end of the phone, she often phoned me up just to say hi. After a couple of minutes we got on to the topic of Kian.
"Speaking of my son, is he out of his bed yet?" Patricia laughed.

"I dunno know!" I shrugged.
"Will you do me a favour and wake him up for me please? I need to remind him to take the chicken out the oven at 4 o'clock"
"But" I said confused. "But Patricia, Kian isn't here."
"He isn't?"
"No" I told Patricia about how he'd left us and went to find my ring.
"Oh well" She shrugged. "God I could kill that boy! He's always disappearing places. Well no doubt he'll be back for his tea, it's all he ever thinks about, his stomach."
"Yeah, he will" I replied trying to sound confident, but at the same time I had a horrible feeling about it all.
It was coming up on one in the afternoon and I still hadn't heard from Kian. I called his mam at her work to see if she'd heard from him.
"Kim, don't worry about him sweetheart! He'll be back." But I still couldn't shift the feeling I had. I can't even describe it; it was just a really horrible feeling like something bad had happened to him.
I don't care what anyone said I knew Kian wasn't coming back when he never returned from my night out. You don't spend every living second with someone for over 14 years and not know whether they're safe or not! But still it didn't prepare me for the pain I felt when they pulled him out of the harbour. It was like someone had ripped my heart out with a giant corkscrew. My insides just felt so empty. I didn't utter a single word right until Kian's funeral; I didn't even shed a tear. I suppose I was still in shock, the one person I wanted...... needed to talk to wasn't there anymore.


Kian and I always joked that we didn't want anyone to wear black to our funeral, we wanted to go with everyone looking bright and cheerful, but some how it just didn't feel appropriate. As Kian's best friend I was asked to make a speech but I didn't think I could do it, so Shane volunteered to do it instead. Shane described Kian perfectly, but the whole time I felt like I was failing Kian by not doing my own speech.
I wanted to run out of the church screaming but something made me stay and listen to Shane's speech.

Kian was always the funny one in our group. The one who got all the girls, but the one who always ended up with the broken heart. If you ever had a problem you could call Kian and he'd talk to you for hours. It didn't matter what time at night it was, if you had a problem so did Kian. Kian always knew when you were upset, there was no point trying to hide it from him, he always knew. Kian would give his last penny to the Queen! I remember one day, Kian, Kimmy and I were in the shop and this old lady came in, she'd forgotten all her money so Kian gave her the money his mam had given him for her shopping, when he got home he tried to explain what had happened to his mam but she wouldn't believe him and he got grounded for a week!

I found myself laughing to that memory because it was true. I was lost for the whole week. I had no one to talk to, no one to play footie with.

I always thought Kian would be here longer than any of us; he was always the strong one who got what he wanted. Everyone loved him! I just don't know what we're going to do without him, especially Kimberley! Kimmy and Kian have been inseparable for 14 years and as much as I feel for Mr and Mrs Egan my heart goes out to Kimmy. Not only has she lost her best friend she has lost her sole mate, because as much as she tries to deny it, Kimberley McLeod and Kian Egan we made for one another! And I just want to finish this speech by saying; Kian Egan will be Forever Young!

When Shane finished his speech I felt my eyes fill with tears for the first time since his body was found, Kian and I had this private joke going, it didn't matter what age we were, but we were always going to be Forever Young!
After the funeral I went straight home. I was exhausted, Patricia and Kevin had invited me to their house, I think they thought I was going to do something crazy, but how could I explain to them if it wasn't for me then Kian would still be alive, and everyone would still be happy. If I hadn't lost that stupid ring then Kian would have gotten a taxi home with us, and he'd never have needed to stop at the banking of the harbour to do a pee! If it wasn't for me, Kian would still be here, and no one would be feeling the pain we're feeling right now!
I sunk into my king-size bed and surprisingly I fell asleep straight away. It was the first time I'd slept properly in days! I don't think I was sleeping long when I woke with a jump. I could have sworn someone was in my room, kissed my hair. Sitting up slowly I saw something sparkle on the windowsill, walking slowly over I saw my ring with a note saying. Don't worry about me I'll be Forever Young!