This is a work of (very) amateur fan fiction. All resemblance to Paramount/Viacom copywrit characters is a joke. No one in their right mind would pay for this, and I'd turn them down if they tried. Out of embarrassment.
KFF: A Privileged Relationship K/Number One TOS, PG Humour By Rae Trail (rae_trail@yahoo.com)
Privileged. Jim squared his shoulders and tried to look as if he accepted postings as the youngest Captain in Starfleet all the time, but knew that his exec saw right through him. She had all the expression of a Vulcan, and her face was as solemnly intelligent. He gave a deep mental sigh and stepped off the transporter pad.
"Welcome aboard, sir." She stepped forward and offered her hand, and Kirk was pleased by how cool and dry her palm was. "Commodore Pike has acknowledged your request for a complete tour while we're in drydock, and agrees to keep it off the record."
"Thank you." He knew his request for an unofficial tour before his official takeover was irregular, but his status as 'youngest' had also cut him some slack higher up. The brass didn't want him to fall on his face any more than he did, himself. They were willing to hide a few irregularities for him. He met the woman's cool eyes again and thought 'my own first officer' and almost chuckled, then smiled at her instead. "Where do we begin?"
It was a long day. Jim began to notice his exec's body language almost immediately - somewhere in recreation - and he resented the flirting while he tried to concentrate on the ship. Number One she may be, he thought angrily, but he wasn't even officially onboard yet. Worse, she was not only flirting, she was humiliating him every step of the way with her superior knowledge. As they left BioSciences for Engineering he stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Look," he began, trying to use his best diplomatic manner. "I don't know what..."
It was as far as he got. The next second she had him in an iron grip, her mouth on his, and was pushing him into an alcove. He fought against her but couldn't break her hold, and it occurred to him that he was being raped. Panic thrust up from his belly, but, in traitorous echo, desire shot up from his groin. "Don't.."
"Hush. In there."
He fought half-heartedly against being manhandled into an empty crewman's room, and began to shout as she herded him expertly toward the bed. "I'll have your commission for this, Mister! I don't care that you've served for years, Commander, you can Ouufffff"
She pinned him on the bed, then bent and licked his chin. Kirk glared up at her and drew a deep breath to yell, but she smiled.
Smiled. He stopped struggling and stared up at her, aware that his enemy could feel his unwelcome erection against her own crotch. "Give?"
"This is a game for you? You just lost your position..."
She shut his mouth again with her own, and he wondered what he had ever seen in her to think her coldly logical. She was acting like a demented tiger in heat. Perhaps this *was* a medical condition, and he...
She sat up suddenly, and set one hand on his crotch. He batted it away and sat up, staring at her. "What the fuck is going on here, Number One?"
The dark hair was pushed aside, and she grinned at him. "Well, I was going to screw you. I collect Captains, and I figured this would be my best chance... but you're no fun. You're gay, aren't you?"
He felt his mouth fall open, and he realized he was shaking his head stupidly. "What makes you..."
"This," she said, caressing his already wilting erection, "is not the reaction of a normal human male. Most of you get a chubby the minute you see me and can't *wait* to get rid of it with some great sex. So I guess you're gay. As to why..." she smiled, and was suddenly more attractive to him than she'd been since he stepped off the transporter. "I collect Captains, as I said. Though I am happy enough with Pike to give up the practice, if you didn't comply. And you didn't."
"What?"
"So I'm going with him. I like him."
"What?"
"Can't you think of anything else to say?"
Jim furiously gathered his tattered dignity and rose from the bed. "How in hell did psych ever clear you? You're a nutcase!"
She laughed and lounged back on the bed. "Psych says I'm perfectly balanced, for my age and species. How the hell did they pass you?"
He opened and closed his mouth several times, then shook his head. "You're nuts. I'm going to call security."
"On an unofficial visit? Tut, tut, Captain. Besides, you have nothing to worry about. I doubt we'll ever see each other again." She rose and adjusted her uniform, then smiled at him. "I'll be moving on to the Admiralty with Pike. I like him better."
"What?" At her look of disdain Kirk remembered her earlier taunting. "Wait a minute, you are assigned to leave here with me in 2 days as..."
"Ahhh, you miss me already? Forget it, I don't travel with Captains I don't like. You'll have a new exec. I'll see if I can't arrange for one that will suit you better." She hit the door key with her palm and looked back at him. "Perhaps your science officer would be willing to double dip. I'll check with him. He really is more your type."
"What the hell are you..."
"Well, after all, Captain, the relationship between Exec and Chief is a privileged one. You wouldn't want to ship for 5 years with someone incompatible, would you?"
"This is highly irregular. I'm going to speak to..."
"Oh, don't bother. Come on, I'll show you Engineering. And don't worry about your new exec... You'll like him. He's everything I'm not."
***END***