Closed Eyes

A Slayers blanket fic by Shinkuyoake ichizoku no Shinkunoya Amaya

With an evil little smirk on his face, Xellos sneered at Valgaav.  "And just how exactly do you think you're going to defeat me?" he asked

Val laughed.  "I'm not going to have to." he said.

"Oh, so you're wimping out on me?"

"No, but today my opponent is not you." Val said, grinning,"Today I feellike dealing with that Gold Dragon."

"I don't think so." Xell said, a strange note in his voice,"She is mine,to deal with as I choose."

"Really?" Val laughed, if she's yours, then why is it that I've already put my Mark on her?"  He gestured toward Filia, and Xellos' gaze followed.

With a pang of shock, he realized that she didn't look entirely well.  Her tail had popped out, but it was drooping, and her colour was slightly off.  Furthermore, her emotions were…hazy somehow. 

Xellos was furious.  This pathetic excuse for a Mazoku had DARED toinfringeon HIS territory.  He glared at Val, who smirked and teleportedaway,throwing a blast of energy at Filia as a parting gesture.

Xellos teleported over and tried to push her out of the was, but was caught in the blast as well.  They fell together…and fell…and fell…  Xellos was starting to wonder if they'd been blasted through the earth entirely or something when they finally landed.  Their landing was cushioned by something white and powdery which flew up as they hit it, then slowly drifted back down on top of them as he blacked out.

He soon came to again, and realized that the white powdery stuff was snow, and he was COLD!  He wrapped his arms around Filia's inert body, and tried to teleport back to the others and got another shock...nothing happened.  He shook his head to clear it and tried again...and again...by the fourth time, he was beginning to panic.  He stood up shakily and looked around.  Seeing something far off in the distance which vaguely resembled a building he decided it would be better, since he seemed to be reacting to the cold, to go INSIDE to ponder this strange occurrence.  He knelt back downin the snow and looked at Filia.  The Dragon Maiden had passed out at some point while they were falling, and had not yet woken up.

Xellos felt a surge of anger toward Valgaav. He'd laid claim to Filia, it was widely known, even if he hadn't specifically Marked her yet, that she was HIS to toy with as HE chose.  He hadn't wanted her marked yet, it was too much fun watching her when she thought she was free...and if he could trick her into accepting his Mark of her own free will, it wouldn't dullhersenses the way Val's had.  Xellos sneered.  That one knew nothingof the intricacies of being a Mazoku...he was still too much of a Dragonatheart, and Gaav had been too tainted by his imprisonment in a human formtoteach him any better.  Truly he should be more an object of pity...IFXellos had harbored such a feeling.

He reached down and gently shook Filia's shoulder.

"Alright Lizard-lips, naptime's over." he said.  When this didn't elicit any response, he shook her a bit harder.  "C'mon Filia, wake UP youstupid,violent Ryuuzoku!"

Still no response.  Xellos grinned.  "Alright then, you asked for it." he said.  Bending down, he kissed her full on the lips.  Her eyes snapped open, and they sparkled with their usual fire for a moment,thenglazed over again; but she was awake.

"Come on." he said, pulling her to her feet, "It's cold out here."

Filia simply nodded and made a noncommital little "Mmhmm", but Xell found that once he started moving, she followed readily enough.

'I'm going to have to get his Mark off her soon.' he thought as he trudged along, 'This isn't My Filia, it's an empty rag doll.  When we get back I am going to kill that upstart in the most shameful and embarrassing way possible.'

As he slogged through the snow toward the distant building, Filia trudging languidly behind him, Xellos entertained himself and kept his mind off the cold by trying to come up with the most demeaning and shameful way for Valgaav to die...something which would exact fitting revenge on him for daring to tamper with HIS Filia.  Xellos almost never claimed prizes, so whenhedid, as in this case, he tended to be rather possessive about them.

They were more than halfway to the building when Xell heard a "foomp" behind him.  He turned around to see that Filia had fallen into a snowdrift.  As he picked up the shivering, senseless Dragon Maiden, Xellos nodded tohimself decisively.  Valgaav was dead.  He was totally and utterly DEAD.

In a way it was better for Xellos when he was carrying Filia.  The cold, which should not have been affecting him, was causing him to shiver, andshewas warm.  He held her close and trudged on through the snow, comingcloser and closer to the building.  It looked to be some sort of tumbledown shack, or perhaps a defunct shrine, and his hopes were not high the closer he got to it of its being inhabited. 

When he finally reached it his worst suspicions were confirmed.  Not only was it abandoned, it was barely standing.

"Well, at least the door closes." he said in relief after he had set Filia down.  He hunted through the interior, but didn't find much.  The building had obviously been a shrine of some sort back in its heyday, but now the inlaid wooden floors were pitted and the holy altar was chipped and cracked.  About the only useful thing he could find was the altar cloth.  It was made of what must once have been lustrous gold velvet, and although it was now badly stained, it was still quite plush and heavy, and shouldhelpto keep out the cold.

He heard Filia moan, and went over to her.  Her eyelids fluttered abitas she woke.  Xellos kneeled by her and brushed her hair out of hereyes,desperately hoping they would be clear and aware.  When she awoke,however,her eyes didn't show that spark he was longing to see...they burnedinsteadwith the dull glow of fever.

"This can't be right." he muttered as he checked her temperature...but it was.  It hadn't occurred to him while he carried her that her warmth might be due to sickness since Dragons never got sick, not seriously.  But then, this place they were in was anything but normal.  After all, he was a Mazoku, and shouldn't be affected by the cold, yet he was shivering almost convulsively.  The only conclusion he could arrive at was that wherever they were, he and Filia had been turned mortal somehow.  Oh, Valgaav was going to die, all right, Xellos was going to curse him with Mortality, chain him to a rock, and let baby Dragons with annoying, whiny voices pick at him until he died...and Xellos intended to make sure that dying took as long as possible. 

He shivered convulsively again and looked down at Filia.  She was putting out heat like a furnace, it might as well be put to some use.  He took her cloak off and laid it on the floor, then sat on it, leaning back against the wall, and gathered Filia into his lap.  He arranged her as besthecould, trying not to meet her vacant, feverish gaze as she made a sortofhalf-awakeeffort to get comfortable.  She laid her head on his shoulderand sighedquietly, and he felt something akin to the shock from a Mono Voltgo throughhim.  Carefully and gently he wrapped the ends of his cloakaround hershoulders, then bundled them both in the altar cloth. 

She was plentywarm all right; Filia was radiating heat!  It was nice, in a way, becausehe was warm, but it worried him as well.  Surely the fever was gettingto dangerous levels, but he hadn't the faintest clue how to bring it down.  The only thing he could think of was that it might have been caused by Valgaav'sMark.

Holding Filia in his lap like this was doing strange things to Xellos.  Well, some of them were not so strange...it had been awhile since he held a beautiful girl of any race in his lap, so the purely physical reactionwasno surprise.  He didn't intend to do anything about it...at least,notat the present moment.  After all, he didn't find somnambulisticpartnersall that stimulating.  He'd much rather have a touch of firein his lovemaking...no,the odd thing was that little things, like her sighingbreath blowing at hishair, or the way she occasionally shifted as thoughtrying to snuggle closer,set off sparkles and twinges and flutters insidehim.  It was reallystarting to concern him.  If he was mortal aswell at present, couldit be possible that he had caught whatever it was Filiahad? 

He checked himself, but he didn't seem to have a fever, so he tried to take his mind off it by concentrating on removing Valgaav's Mark from her.  If he could get her to wake up more completely, he might be able to talkher through throwing off the compulsion she was under to accept the Mark.  Xellos smiled as he thought about how to wake her up.  The only time he'd gotten any kind of reaction out of her before was when he kissed her, so maybe if he tried it again...  Testing his theory, he turned hisheadand began to kiss her.  First her delicately pointed ear, then downtheline of her jaw as she turned her head toward him.  Finally he capturedher sweet lips once again, kissing her with a passion infused with the angerwhich was coursing through his veins.

Tthe fever faded from her eyes, and when she began to tentatively kiss back, he pulled away in surprise to look at her.  She seemed to be awake and aware, but the Dragon Maiden who had professed undying hatred toward himwaskissing him!

Filia blinked and grinned at the surprised look on Xellos' face.

"This dream is SO much better than the other one." she said.

"It's not a dream." Xellos corrected. 

"It's not?"  Filia was confused.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked.

Filia thought back.  "Going to sleep.  Therefore, this must beadream." she stated.

Xellos looked at her almost sadly and stroked her hair with one of the hands he had wrapped around...her...back?  No, this must be a dream, she'd never allow such liberty...although with each passing day it was gettingmoreand more difficult to maintain those intentions.

"Fi-chan, it's not a dream.  While you were asleep something happened to you, something bad, and we have to fix it."

Filia yawned.  "Can't I just go to sleep here?  It's so nice in your arms..." Filia muttered, starting to slip into lassitude again.

"Sorry Fi-chan, you have to stay awake." Xell shook his head.

"Can't, sorry...like when you call me that..." Filia murmured, falling further and further back into a dreamlike state.

Desperately Xellos felt something clench within his chest.  He hadtoget her freed, and soon, or she'd be permanently damaged!  He startedkissing her again, letting some of the passion and arousal he was feelingslip through.

Filia woke up again, this time completely.  She stiffened in his arms and tried frantically to get free.

"Namagomi!" she slapped him, "What do you think you're DOING?!"

"I was TRYING to wake you up...and it worked, didn't it?" Xellos said, anger and hurt intermingled in his voice.

"I...I suppose so..." Filia said hesitantly.  The hurt in his voicehadsurprised her.  He was Mazoku, he shouldn't be able to feel suchthings.

She allowed herself to suffer his touch, (really she had little choice, since he didn't seel to be letting go) and looked around her.

"Where am I?" she asked, "Where are the others?"  she got a slightly queasy look on her face, "Why do I feel so strange?"

Xellos sighed and absently stroked her hair.

"Well," he said, "as far as I know the others are still in the village where we stayed last night.  We, on the other hand, are nowhere I recognize, in an abandoned temple in the middle of what has to be the coldest placeI've ever been.  The reason you feel so strange is partly my fault." he admitted, and Filia felt him tense, his fists clenched as he pulled her tighter tohim.  "Valgaav sought to anger me by Marking you as his, then killingyou.  The Mark is what's making you feel odd."

"The WHAT?!" Filia's eyes went wild.

Even though he couldn't feel her emotions, Xellos knew she was very upset...and why shouldn't she be?  Going on instincts he didn't know he had, Xellos tried to comfort her.  He held her gently and stroked her hair and spoke softly.

"Filia, My Fi-chan, it'll be alright, we can fix this, I promise we can."

Filia couldn't believe it.  Xellos was being...caring...and he was calling her "Fi-chan"?  Something was definitely wrong with him as well.

"Xellos...?" she said hesitantly, "What's...wrong with you?"

Xell swore under his breath.  She wasn't supposed to have figured that out.

"Something about this place we're in seems to have...made me mortal." hewhispered,a hint of shame in his voice.  Filia looked at him, amazed."Probablyyou as well." he added.

She looked more carefully, half-expecting to see that he was bluffing, only to see sincerity in his eyes.  She shifted a little and looked away, suddenly all-to-aware of just where she was.

Xellos gave her a little half-hearted smile.  "You were feverish," he explained, "and I didn't know what else to do for you, so I tried to keep warm...I apologize for using you like that."

The surprising thing was, he meant it.  He really did feel bad about taking advantage of a senseless girl...Xellos shook his head in amazement.

"If it's making you uncomfortable, you can move, but in any case we haveworkto do.  We have to get Valgaav's Mark off you before it does somethingnasty and permanent."

Filia shifted again.  "No offense Xellos, but I'm not exactly comfortable with being here." she said, a little nervously.

Xell sighed.  "I understand." he said, letting go of her and letting the altar cloth he'd been using to keep them warm fall to the floor. 

He set Filia beside him and got up, handing her back her cloak, then satdownagain on the bare floor and wrapped himself tightly in his own cloak. Filia sat facing him not far away and like wise wrapped herself up. Xellosreached one hand out and passed her the thick velvet altar cloth.

"Here," he said, "Wrap yourself up in this, you'll need it."

Wordlessly Filia took the offered cloth and wrapped it around herself.

"So," she started, "What do I do about this 'Mark' you say is on me?"

"I assume you can look within yourself?"

"Of course."

"Alright then.  I've broken the compulsion you were under to acceptand not notice it..."

"You're sure?"

"You're talking to me, aren't you?  Now, what you have to do is look inward and find a place which has been recently cut, scraped, or otherwise deliberately damaged.  Once you find it, you should treat it like the sting of a deadly wasp or the bite of a snake; suck the dark essence outandexpel it from yourself."
Xellos shook his head as he saw Filia go into a proper trance.

'I can't believe I'm teaching the one I want to Mark how to remove that Mark.' he thought, 'But I really have no choice.  It's just a good thing Iactuallyknow how it's done, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have myFi-chan...didI just THINK that?!' he realized in alarm, 'Something is seriouslywrong withme.'

Xellos watched Filia's inward-looking gaze with nerves on edge, hoping and unconsciously praying to any god who might hear him that they were in time.  When Filia went rigid for a second, then blinked and met his gaze, he grinned hugely.

"It worked!" he exclaimed happily.

Filia nodded and heaved a sigh of relief.  "That one has a sick mind." she said.

Xellos growled.  "Let me assure you, as soon as we get back, I havedevisedthe most embarrassing, shameful, and degrading death possible forhim."

"I May just join you in that." Filia said, and incensed look on her face, "NO ONE touches me like that without my permission."

Xellos growled angrily again and Filia looked at him, surprised.

"Why should you care?" she asked.

"Because as far as Mazoku society is concerned, all of Lina's group are under my eye, and any claim attempts should go through me...not that I'd let anyone have you." he added.  "What I can't figure out is how the hell he managed to get to you without me noticing."

Filia noticed that inside his cloak Xellos was shivering.  She unwrapped the altar cloth from around herself and passed it to him.

"Here," she said, "I'm quite warm enough, and you need the warmth. You're not used to cold, are you?"

"I shouldn't be able to feel it...thank you." he said as he bundled himself up.

They sat in silence for awhile, and Filia was finding the silence more and more disturbing.  Xellos was watching her.  She could tell he was watching her, and it was distracting.  Not only was it making her paranoid, but it was stirring those feelings she'd been trying to bury for months,andshe couldn't seem to stop thinking.  Her mind kept drifting backto him...hiseyes showing concern...the warm feeling of his arms around her...thekissesshe could vaguely remember making her tingle within with a feelingof anticipationand wanting...  She shook her head.  This was ridiculous. Even if he seemed to care right now, it was only because this strange placehad made him mortal...or was it?  Could removing his Mazoku abilitieshave had such an extreme effect on his emotions, or had it simply removeda mask?  He had called her "his", but was that simply in terms of aplaything,or did it refer to a more intimate relationship and feeling? Itwasmore likely the former, but in her heart of hearts she found herself hopingand wishing it might be the latter.

Xellos sat, watching her watching him, and tried to guess what might be on her mind.  It was frustrating not to be able to sense her emotions...not that he'd ever been able to sense the emotions he found himself hoping he was reading in her face and posture...  He could swear he was seeing caring and loving desire, and it made him feel good...  He shook his head firmly.  He was a Mazoku.  Mazoku shouldn't concern themselves with feelings like love except in understanding how to manipulate them...right?  This was still manipulation...wasn't it?

Outside it was beginning to get dark, and the wind was picking up. Theancient shrine was certainly not airtight, and little gusts of cold air beganto blow in, finding their way unerringly inside Filia's mantle and cloak.  She tried not to shiver and show weakness, but it was impossible...it wassimply too cold.  She pulled her cloak around her tighter and startedshivering.

Although he was mortal at the moment, Xellos' eyesight was still above average, and even in the dim light he could see how cold she obviously was.

"Come here." he said.

"No." Filia said, "I'm not going to sit on your lap again."

Xell shrugged.  "Suit yourself.  I just didn't want to see youfreeze."

"Why not?" she asked scathingly, "What's another dead Gold to you? You've killed enough of us."

Xellos looked at her curiously and a little sadly.  "Is that reallywhatyou're afraid of, or is it something else?"

"I'm not afraid of anything." Filia insisted, "It's just that...I..." her voice trailed off and she turned away, shivering.

She tried to close her eyes and trance to ignore the cold, so she wasn'tawareof Xellos moving until he had sat down behind her and gathered her curled-up, shivering body into his arms.  She immediately stiffened,and he kept a loose but firm grip on her.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Fi-chan, and I refuse to let you freeze to death through your own stubbornness."

He rested his head on her shoulder and she relaxed a little...he was warm, and she really didn't mind all that much.  That was probably what scared her the most...that she might actually care for this Mazoku.  She started to shake and Xell tightened his grip on her, snugging her body close against his.

"What's wrong?  Are you still cold?" he asked.

"I shouldn't care." she whispered, "I shouldn't, and I can't, but I do...and it scares me..."

Xellos felt his heart stop for an eternal second before it started up again with a triphammer beat.  It was then that he made the connection between all the earlier twinges...one he had shoved so far down that he had beencompletelyunaware of it...he wasn't sick, he had made that fatal mistakefor a Mazoku...hehad fallen in love.  Love was a weakness and a threat;his master wouldnever tolerate it.  He was allowed a great deal of latitude,but he doubtedit would extend to love... especially for a Ryuuzoku.

Lightly he kissed her neck and whispered in her ear, "It scares me as well."

Filia turned, startled, to look at him, and he turned her in his arms until they were facing each other.

"I...is that...the truth?" she asked quietly.

"I never lie...except maybe to myself." he said, and softly and tenderlykissed her.




On to Part 2
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