Domesticity

Filia sat suddenly up in bed…she was HUNGRY, and she could smell breakfast being cooked in the kitchen downstairs.  She slipped out of bed andgot dressed in record time, then rushed downstairs.  When she got thereshe found Lina and Gourry just beginning their usual fight for food.

Quickly she flagged down a waiter.  “I’d like what they’re having.” she said, indicating the plates fairly stacked in front of the two squabbling adventurers.

He sweated and his eyes bugged out.  “Both of them?”

“Yes, and make it snappy!” Filia said.

After a couple of minutes, she started to tap her toe.  After a couple more, she started drumming her fingers and looking around the room.  Anyone who caught her gaze quickly looked away.  She looked furious, and hungry enough to kill just to get some food.

‘I need to eat, I need to eat, I need to EAT!’ Filia was thinking.  She noticed a large slab of bacon near the edge of Lina’s plate.  Fast as lightning she speared it with her fork and swallowed it in one bite.

“Hey!  Gourry, that’s my b…Filia?”

“Wraagh?” Filia asked around a mouthful of Gourry’s sausages.

“You don’t usually steal food, what’s up?”

“’m hungry.” she said.

Just then the waiter arrived with all her food, and Filia started to digin with a vengeance.  Everyone stared as the pile of plates was demolished in what would have been record time for Lina.

“What are you all staring at, haven’t you ever seen a person eatbefore?” Filia said inquiringly.

“Um…oh never mind.” Amelia said, still stunned.

“Well, if that’s all you have to say, I have things to do.” Filia said.  She stood up and marched determinedly out the door.

Everyone started after her for a minute, then Gourry, Lina and Amelia belatedly remembered their own meals and started once again to dig in.


‘Still hungry, that didn’t nearly fill it, but I can’tstuff any more in…at least, not in this form.’ she pondered. 

Ducking into an ally, Filia teleported so she could get out of town by the quickest route possible.  Once she was out of view of the little village where they had been staying, she shifted forms and flew off to hunt.


Xellos came downstairs as everyone was finishing breakfast and looked around, puzzled.

“Where’s Filia?” he asked.

“She said she had something to do and left a little while ago.” Zelgadis told him.

“Without breakfast?”

“Oh, she had breakfast all right.” Lina said, “In fact…”

She was interrupted by screams from outside.  “Dragon!  Dragon!  There’s a Dragon attacking in the mountains!”

The Slayers all looked at each other, “Filia.” they said in unison.


When they found her, Filia had landed.  She was sitting in a mountain pasture calmly devouring some of the Bighorn sheep this area was famous for.

“Filia, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lina lookedaway

“I told you before, I’m hungry.” she said simply.

“But Miss Filia, you’re eating whole sheep…and they’re raw!” Amelia protested, looking more than a little green. 

Filia bit off the head of yet another sheep and Amelia ran for a bush and was noisily sick.

“Well, I really wanted cows, but I didn’t want to take anyone’s livelihood.” Filia explained logically.

“What’s wrong with you that you’re so hungry though…Oh!” Lina exclaimed as something occurred to her, “Are you…?”

Filia nodded.

“Wow!” Lina said.

“Oh Miss Filia, how wonderful!” crowed a now-recovered Amelia.

“Is she what?” Gourry asked.

“I hate to admit it, but you’ve lost me on this one as well.” Zel admitted.

Xell just shrugged, the expression on his face puzzled as he looked at his beautiful, bloodstained mate.

All three of the “girls” rolled their eyes.

“I’m pregnant.” Filia explained bluntly.

Xellos passed out from sheer shock.