Intimacy

Last night before you fell asleep
You whispered something to me
Was it just a dream

Lina Inverse lay quietly, pretending to sleep, after Zelgadis relieved her at watch.  Last night as she was falling asleep she was almost sureshe had heard him say something.  She had vague memories of similarincidents which she had thought to be dreams, but this time...  Silentlyshe waited for him.

I'm gonna listen to you close
Cause your goodnight kiss
Felt like a ghost

Lina slowed her breathing and willed her heartbeat to slow as well as she heard his soft footfalls  approaching her.  She felt Zel kneelbeside her an brush her bangs off her forehead.

"Sleep well, dear Lina." he whispered softly just before placing a kiss so light she wasn't sure she had even felt it between her eyes.

What are you trying to say to me
What are you trying to say

Lina lay still, not from pretense now, but from shock.  She couldn't have just heard what she thought she had heard...it was impossible...wasn't it?  Zelgadis Greywords, the "Man of Stone" himself, actually caredabout her?  Baka na!

Everybody's searching for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Everybody's hurting for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

It had to be impossible.  The only thing Zel cared about was his quest...but then again, Lina pondered, what exactly was that quest for?  Zel didn't strike her as all that vain.  In fact, pragmatic would be a much better word to describe him, so why did he not simply accept his altered form as the unpleasant side-effect of his admittedly great advantages over most other mortals?  Was it humanity he really wanted, or was it acceptance, friendship...love?

We come into this world alone
From the heart of darkness
The infinite unknown

Thinking more about it, Lina was almost certain this was the case She could easily remember the time, soon after she had learned the Dragon Slave, when she had first been told of the effect Black Magick would have on her body.  She had felt angry, betrayed...she had wanted to blow something up then and there, but hadn't dared to.  For months she had hunted libraries, private collections, temples, everywhere, looking for some way to counteract itseffects...heck, she still did on occasion, although you'd never get her toadmit it.

We're only here a little while
And I feel safe and warm
When I see you smile

Lina thought about what had turned her around.  First there had been Naga.  Much though Lina hated to admit it, Naga had started the process of breaking her out of her self-pity.  More by constantly getting on her nerves than by any other method, but still...  It had been Zelgadis who had been the turning point, though.  Some part of her which shehad buried deep in an attempt to forget; that part of her which had beena curious and innocent child; had seen in him a soulmate.  Sure, Gourrywas her protector, or so he said, but Zel...Zel had somehow managed, witheach brief glimpse of his buried humanity in his demon eyes, to let thatinner part of her know it would be safe with him.

Baby don't you move away from me
Baby don't pull away

Still, it was frustrating.  No matter what she did, Zel just put his icy barrier up an pretended indifference.  But...if it truly bothered him...wouldn't he have...left?  Shouted at her and stormed out?  Or just snuck off in the night?  The second was more his style, buthe hadn't tried that since...not since just before they faced Shabernigdo...maybe it was time she had a little chat with the Chimera of her dreams.

Everybody's searching for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Everybody's hurting for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Resolved now in mind, Lina got up.  She walked softly over to whereZel sat and sat down beside him.

"Zel," she said quietly, "What is it you want most in the world?"

"What are you doing up...I thought you went to sleep."  Zel said, not answering her question and looking away to hide a blush which she barelycaught sight of.

"I was just thinking about some things...and I was wondering why you would want to be human so badly.  I mean, if you do become human, you'll be easier to hurt, have less speed and strength...probably less magickal power as well, so why?"

Zel took a deep breath and looked at the sky.  "Truthfully...I wantto be human to be accepted." he admitted.  "Stupid, isn't it. You wouldn't think I, of all people, would care, but I do."

Remember when you were a child
And your momma would hold you in her arms
And rock you to sleep

Gently Lina put her hand on Zel's shoulder.  "If you'd just stop hating yourself, you might see that you are accepted." she said, "The true trick to being accepted, Zel, is to accept yourself."

"Those who accept me..." Zelgadis muttered to himself.  As Lina started to rise, he reached out and caught her arm.  "Matte, Lina...how didyou know?"

Now darling it's just you and I
Let's give each other everything baby baby...

"You're not the only one with physical obstacles to overcome, you know."Lina said reluctantly, sitting back down.  "And even for similar reasons.  In my search for bigger and more powerful spells, at too young an age, Icondemned myself to this body."

"And what's wrong with your body?  You're human, aren't you?" Zel said a little coldly.

"With most sorceresses they're around nineteen or twenty by the time they master the major Black Magick spells which bring the side-effect of ‘physical crystallization'...I was thirteen.  Unless I stop using Black Magick for years at a time, I'll look like this until I die...and that could bea VERY long time...believe me, I've looked into it.  For every timeI cast the Dragon Slave, if I want to continue to age, I have to go for ayear without using ANY Black Magick at all."  With a sigh, Lina lookedup at the sky.  "So now you know."

Everybody's searching for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Everybody's hurting for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Lina was startled as Zel put his arm around her.

"I suspected, you know." he said, "I think that's why...I care for you the way I do.  We're kindred souls in a way none of the others are.  It...draws me to you." he admitted.

Lina blushed.  "I think...I know what you mean." she said softly and leaned against him.  "Do you mind if I...just sit here like this until I fall asleep?"

"Of course not." Zel said with a soft smile.

Baby come and lay down next to me...
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Lina and Zelgadis sat silently for a while, simply enjoying each other'scompany.  When Lina's head rested, relaxed, against his shoulder andher soft, sighing breath signaled that she was asleep, Zel moved slowly andcarefully to pick her up without waking her, then carried her to her bedrolland laid her gently on it.

Everybody's searching for intimacy
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

"Love you Zel..." Lina murmured as she half-woke on being moved.

"Shh...I know..." Zel said as he kissed her lightly, "I love you too."

"Stay with me?"

Zel thought for a minute.  It was a quiet night and no one was actively after them as far as he knew...tonight he would protect her heart ratherthan her body. 

"I won't go anywhere." he assured her as he laid down next to her, putting his arm under her neck to hold her. 

Lina rolled over and laid her head on his chest, and he wrapped his arm more tightly around her.

"Sleep well...my love." he whispered as he closed his eyes.




Intimacy
by The Corrs
from the album Talk on Corners