SCIENCE CLASS

By Dark Vortex

I don't own Gundam or any characters from it, so don't sue.


"Okay, class!  Today we will be experimenting with powders and liquids!  Everyone, please put on your safety goggles!"
"Safety goggles?  Shinigami has no need for safety goggles!   SHINIGAMI DOES NOT NEED SAFETY GOGGLES IN HELL!"
"Mr. Maxwell!  Such language!" Mrs. Osterferien yelled.  "NOW!"  Duo pouted rebelliously and donned his goggles.  "Now let's get started!"
Heero, deadpan, began making bombs.  Mrs. Osterferien wandered over.
"Mr. Yuy, may I ask what you're doing?"
"Omae o korouso," he muttered.  Disturbed, she scooted to another table.
Sally was making an elaborate and colorful pattern with various powders, depicting Wufei perfectly.  Treize growled as he molded wet baking soda into a sculpture of his beloved.
"Both of you, this is not art class--"
KABOOM.
Duo's table exploded impressively, scattering bits of its shale-like surface across the room.
"BWA AHAHAHHA!!!!  SHINIGAMI DESTROYS ALL!!"  Duo grabbed a piece of table-top that looked vaguely scythe-like and a meter stick from the corner, lashing them together with masking tape.
"BWA AHAHAHHA!!!! SHINIGAMI IS BACK FROM HELL!!"  He swung the scythe over his head, now minus goggles, and laughed hysterically.
"Mr. MAXWELL!  Put that DOWN!"  Duo laughed and donned a bit of black cloth.  Mrs. Osterferien went off quickly to another table.
Catherine, Dorothy, and Hilde were continually putting more and more vinegar into mounds of baking soda, watching it bubble and fizz.  Bubble.  Fizz.  Bubble.  Fizz. 
Noin watched Zechs at his table, where he experimented to see how fast a projectile could be shot with the correct amount of non-lethal explosive.  Heero, finding it interesting, pulled out parts of metal and began to fashion a gun model.
"Noin, dear, you haven't started your experiment yet!"
Noin glared and put one drop of iodine into her cup of powder.
KBLAM.
The paper cup exploded, covering everyone in the powder.  Mrs. Osterferien shrieked and hid behind Wufei's table.  He gave a muffled curse.  She cautiously straightened up and studied his concoction.
"Chang, what are you doing?" she asked, staring at the purple sludge in his cup.  He scowled.
"I WAS making a hydrochloric acid solution for Mr. MAXWELL (grr) over there... Then that damn powder got it in and ruined it!"  Something dawned on him, and he turned beet red with rage.  "WOMAN!  HAVE YOU NO DIGNITY!!!!  HOW DARE YOU USE MY GIVEN NAME!!"  She cowered, and he began mixing powder.  Mrs. Osterferien escaped to another table.
Trowa was mixing liquids only, forming an orange substance that glowed faintly.
"What is that?" she asked him.  He smiled dangerously.
"Liquid arsenic."
"Mr. Barton!  You aren't allowed to make that kind of dangerous thing in school!"  He just looked at her.  "Well, um, but..."  She ran to the last table.
Quatre mixed what looked like, to Mrs. Osterferien's intense relief, sugar and salt.  He added a tiny drop of vinegar.  It began to swell and grow into beautiful crystals that formed a colorful sculpture.  Mrs. Osterferien applauded.
"Very good, Quatre!  That's beautiful!  What did you use?"
He beamed.  "Cyanide and sugar.  Want some to try to do pretty crystals with?"
"Umm... no thanks."  He got very sad.
"You don't like... it's my fault..."  He started to cry and ran out of the room.
Meanwhile, Relena finished her mix and shrieked, "Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo!  Come see my experiment Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo!  It smells good Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo!"  She took a deep sniff.
Mrs. Osterferien, regaining her hearing, asked, "May I smell?"  Relena shoved the cup at her.  She waved her hand above it at her face, blinked and passed out.
"Die in Hell, Maxwell!"  Wufei, katana in hand, chased the scythe-laded Duo around the room, knocking over buckets of powder supplies.
"So slow, Wu-man!  Nyah, can't get me!"
Wufei swung the katana.  He knocked over a beaker of liquid.  "Oops."
KABOOM.
The room shook, half of it disappearing into shrapnel.  Everyone's powders and liquids, Heero's bombs and gun, Quatre's crystals, fell into a jumbled, smoking mess on the ground.
The class on the other side of the wall that had just blown up stared.  Duo hid his scythe behind his back.
"Um..... fetch the custodian, please?"