| YOU KNOW YOU'ER A HOMESCHOOL MOM WHEN...... 1.YOU ASK FOR COPIER INSTEAD OF A DIAMOND TENNIS BRACELET FOR YOU WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. 2.YOUR KIDS THINKS HISTORY IS BEST ACCOMPLISHED WHILE LYING ON THE FLOOR WITH THEIR HEAD RESTING ON THE FAMILY DOG. 3.YOUR HUSBAND CAN WALK IN AT THE END OF A LONG DAY AND TELL HOW THE SCIENCE EXPERIMENT WENT JUST BY LOOKING AT THE ROOM! 4.YOUR NEIGHBORS THINK YOU ARE INSANE. 5.YOUR KIDS LEARN NEW VOCABULARY FROM THEIR EXTENSIVE COLLECTION OF "CALVIN& HOBBES"BOOKS. 6.YOUR FORMAL DINING ROOM NOW HAS A COMPUTER,COPY MACHINE ,&BOOK SHELVES AND THERE ARE ALL EDUCATION AND MAPS ALLOVER THE WALLS. 7.YOU HAVE MEAL WORMS GROWING IN A CONTAINER....ON PURPOSE. 8.TALKING OUT LOUD TO YOURSELF IS A PARENT/TEACHER CONFERNCE. 9.YOU TAKE OFF FOR A TEACHER IN-SERVICE DAY BECAUSE THE PRINIPAL NEEDS CLEAN UNDERWEAR. 10.YOU CAN'T MAKE IT THOUGH A MOVIE WITHOUT POINTING OUT THE HISTORICAL INACCURACIES. 11.YOU STEP ON MATH MANIPULATIVES ON YOU PRE-DAWN STUMBLE TO THE BATHROOM. 12.YOUR KIDS REFER TO THE NEIGHBOR'S KIDS AS "GOVERNMENT SCHOOL INMATES". 13.YOU CAN'T MAKE IT THOUGH THE GROCERY PRODUCE DEPARTMENT WITHOUT ASKING YOUR PRESCHOOLER THE NAME AND COLOR OF THE FRUITS&VEG. 14.YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR PRODUCE IN YOUR CART WITHOUT ASKING YOUR OLDER KIDS TO ESTIMATE IT'S WEIGHT& VERIFIFY THE AMOUNT. 15.YOU LIVE IN A ONE-HOUSE SCHOOLROOM |
THE TOP ADVANTANGES TO HOMESCHOOLING 20.YOUR KIDS NEVER TELL YOUR A LOT DUMBER THEN THEIR TEACHER. 19.IF YOU CAN'T FIND MATCHING SOCKS FOR YOUR CHILD FRIST THING IN THE MORNING WHO CARES? 18.CLEANING OUT REFRIGERATER CAN DOUBLE AS CHEMISTRY LAB. 17.YOUR KIDS HAVE A GOOD REASON TO THINK THEY MIGHT GET A SPANKED IN SCHOOL,BUT NO REASON TO THINK THEY'LL GET BEAT UP BY A GANG. 16.IF THE PRINCIPAL GIVES THE TEACHER A BAD EVALUATION ,SHE CAN STICK HER ICY FEET AGAINST HIS LEGS AT NIGHT. 15.YOU CAN POST THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ON YOUR SCHOOL ROOM WALL AND WON'T GET SUED. 14.YOU NEVER HAVE TO DRIVE YOUR CHILD'S FORGOTEN LUNCH TO SCHOOL. 13.YOUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER GO TO THEIR 20TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION,MEET AN OLD FLAME ,AND RECKLESSLY ABANDON THEIR MARRIAGE. 12.YOU GET TO CHANGE MORE THAN DIAPERS,YOU GET TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS. 11.IF YOU GET CAUGHT TALKING TO YOUSELF ,YOU CAN CLAIM YOU'RE HAVING A PTA MEETING. 10.IT'S BETTER TO BE SLIGHLY CONCERNED ABOUT SOCIALIZATION THAN VERY CONCEMED ABOUT SOCIALISM. 9.YOUR CHILD WILL NEVER SUFFER THE EMBARRRASSMENT OF GROUP SHOWERS AFTER P.E.. 8.THE ONLY DEBATE ABOUT SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM IS WHOSE TURN IT IS TO COOK ,CLEAN OFF TABLE ,ETC. 7.YOU NEVER HAVE TO FACE THE DILEMMA OF WHETHER TO TAKE YOUR CHILD'S SIDE OR THE TEACHER'S SIDE IN A DISPUTE AT SCHOOL. 6.IF YOU CHILD GETS DRUGS AT SCHOOL,IT'S PROBABLY TYLENOL. 5.THE TEACHER GETS TO KISS THE PRINICAL IN THE FACULTY LOUNGE AND NO ONE GOSSIPS. 4.YOUR KIDS RECOGNIZE THAT THIS LIST IS NUMERICALLY IN REVERSE ORDER. 3.YOUR HONOR STUDENT CAN ACTUALLY READ THE BUMPER STICKER THAT HAVE ON YOUR CAR. 2.IF YOUR CHILD CLAIMS THE DOG ATE HIS HOMEWORK YOU CAN ASK THE DOG. 1.SOME DAYS YOUR CHILDERN WILL CONSIDER YOU TO BE A MIRACLE WORKING EXPERT AND WILL TURN TO YOU FOR ADVICE. |
