Disclaimers: They own themselves.
No harm intended. The title is a 'texty' Veruca Salt song. Nina owns it.
It's one of the funniest songs I've ever heard.
Spoilers: To what, Eliza and Sarah's lives? I hope so!
Dedications: To Sway, Star, Wlfgrrl, Darkmikilol, M and TheSpanner. Thank you for keeping me insane in a sane world.
As The Set Turns- She's A Brain
Spoilers: To what, Eliza and Sarah's lives? I hope so!
Dedications: To Sway, Star, Wlfgrrl, Darkmikilol, M and TheSpanner. Thank you for keeping me insane in a sane world.
As The Set Turns- She's A Brain
*Eliza walks off set after doing her scene
into an empty outdoor holding lot*
Eliza: *Stands amazed as she watches Sarah running around in circles, shouting at the air* Gellar? What the FUCK are you doin'?
Sarah: *Stops and walks over to Eliza, out of breath* I'm TRYING to catch a fly... with these! *holds up chopsticks*
Eliza: *Wide eyes* I don't want to ask, I mean I really don't, but I have to know if I need to get you escorted off set. So, why are you tryin' to catch a fly with a pair of chopsticks?
Sarah: Derrr, hello? Didn't you see Karate Kid last night? It improves your hand eye co-ordination. You probably scared him off now! *tuts*
Eliza: You think you're not gonna catch a fly, with chopsticks, because I interrupted you? Are we being filmed for some pile of shit cable show? *looks round to try and find hidden camera*
Sarah: I think my presence would get us more than a dire cable show Dushku, I'm Sarah Michelle Gellar, please.
Eliza: Oh, all hail Gellar! No really, I'm so honoured.*fake glee* Can I have your autograph?
Sarah: I only sign body parts, you know that.
Eliza: See anything you want to claim as your own? *Hooks a finger round the neck of her shirt and pulls, exposing a lot of cleavage*
Sarah: I already HAVE those though. Anyway I'm busy catching Bertie.
Eliza: Who's Bertie?
Sarah: Bertie the blue bottle... the FLY! God, wake up Dushku.
Eliza: *Shakes her head a little, trying to clear the insanity of the situation out* This is fine, really. You named a fly Bertie, and you're tryin' to catch that fly with chopsticks. No, this is cool. IF YOU'RE INSANE!?
Sarah: Oh, moody much. You need to relax. *Offers Eliza the chopsticks* You can try and catch him if you want, don't squash him though! You can be so rough sometimes.
Eliza: I thought you liked it rough, babe. *winks*
Sarah: I do, but flies are different, they're not as tough as me.
Eliza: *Snorts a laugh out* Tough? You're not Buffy, I know you know that. Yeah, wooo! You're so tough you blubbed when I broke the end of your eyeliner off.
Sarah: Hey, that's cosmetics! They're different. Look at Charisma, make up plasters her with the wrong shade of foundation and she has to go into therapy for a week.
Eliza: She's always in therapy. *Mimics Charisma* I broke a nail! I got a pull in my Gucci sweater! Oh My God, someone breathed on my Prada bag! She's another head case.
Sarah: Did you get bullied at school or something? Is this why you have all this latent bitchiness?
Eliza: No I did NOT get bullied. *Hands on hips*
Sarah: You should have.
Eliza: What by someone like you and your little rich girl sheep? *Puts on a Valley girl voice while pretending to be on the phone* Sarah! Sarah! What colour are you wearing to school, I like, need to know if we'll clash? Cheerleader dead heads. I bet black came in 40 different shades when you were young.
Sarah: Black does NOT come in 40 shades. It comes in 3. Nearly, really and almost.
Eliza: Almost black? Oh, sorry, in the real world we call that grey.
Sarah: I do not have time to explain fashion to you. We have to be back on set in 12 hrs.
Eliza: Eat shit, Gellar.
Sarah: I like to try everything once, but I'm declining that offer, although I appreciate the sentiment.
Eliza: You're amazing, you really are. Just when I think you can't get any more stupid, you manage to surprise me.
Sarah:*Flips Eliza the finger* I am amazing, I know. It's so hard to cope with sometimes, but I manage.
Eliza: Did we have to get all the doors on set widened for your head?
Sarah: No, for your ass.
Eliza: *Fake laughter* Oh my god, shining wit, no hang on, whining shit, that's it.
Sarah: Oh my god, stop it, your so cutting. *Mock hurt face*
Eliza: *Slaps hands together really quickly, then opens them, smiling.* There, I hope you and Bertie are happy. *Hands Sarah a very squashed fly and walks off*
Sarah: *Looks incredulously at dead fly* How'd you do that?
Eliza: *Shouts over her shoulder* I'm Eliza Dushku, I have talents you never dreamed of, and if you're a bit nicer to me, maybe I'll show you some of them.
Sarah: *Watches Eliza, then thinks, blushes and runs after her* WAIT FOR ME! WAIT FOR ME!
Eliza: *Stands amazed as she watches Sarah running around in circles, shouting at the air* Gellar? What the FUCK are you doin'?
Sarah: *Stops and walks over to Eliza, out of breath* I'm TRYING to catch a fly... with these! *holds up chopsticks*
Eliza: *Wide eyes* I don't want to ask, I mean I really don't, but I have to know if I need to get you escorted off set. So, why are you tryin' to catch a fly with a pair of chopsticks?
Sarah: Derrr, hello? Didn't you see Karate Kid last night? It improves your hand eye co-ordination. You probably scared him off now! *tuts*
Eliza: You think you're not gonna catch a fly, with chopsticks, because I interrupted you? Are we being filmed for some pile of shit cable show? *looks round to try and find hidden camera*
Sarah: I think my presence would get us more than a dire cable show Dushku, I'm Sarah Michelle Gellar, please.
Eliza: Oh, all hail Gellar! No really, I'm so honoured.*fake glee* Can I have your autograph?
Sarah: I only sign body parts, you know that.
Eliza: See anything you want to claim as your own? *Hooks a finger round the neck of her shirt and pulls, exposing a lot of cleavage*
Sarah: I already HAVE those though. Anyway I'm busy catching Bertie.
Eliza: Who's Bertie?
Sarah: Bertie the blue bottle... the FLY! God, wake up Dushku.
Eliza: *Shakes her head a little, trying to clear the insanity of the situation out* This is fine, really. You named a fly Bertie, and you're tryin' to catch that fly with chopsticks. No, this is cool. IF YOU'RE INSANE!?
Sarah: Oh, moody much. You need to relax. *Offers Eliza the chopsticks* You can try and catch him if you want, don't squash him though! You can be so rough sometimes.
Eliza: I thought you liked it rough, babe. *winks*
Sarah: I do, but flies are different, they're not as tough as me.
Eliza: *Snorts a laugh out* Tough? You're not Buffy, I know you know that. Yeah, wooo! You're so tough you blubbed when I broke the end of your eyeliner off.
Sarah: Hey, that's cosmetics! They're different. Look at Charisma, make up plasters her with the wrong shade of foundation and she has to go into therapy for a week.
Eliza: She's always in therapy. *Mimics Charisma* I broke a nail! I got a pull in my Gucci sweater! Oh My God, someone breathed on my Prada bag! She's another head case.
Sarah: Did you get bullied at school or something? Is this why you have all this latent bitchiness?
Eliza: No I did NOT get bullied. *Hands on hips*
Sarah: You should have.
Eliza: What by someone like you and your little rich girl sheep? *Puts on a Valley girl voice while pretending to be on the phone* Sarah! Sarah! What colour are you wearing to school, I like, need to know if we'll clash? Cheerleader dead heads. I bet black came in 40 different shades when you were young.
Sarah: Black does NOT come in 40 shades. It comes in 3. Nearly, really and almost.
Eliza: Almost black? Oh, sorry, in the real world we call that grey.
Sarah: I do not have time to explain fashion to you. We have to be back on set in 12 hrs.
Eliza: Eat shit, Gellar.
Sarah: I like to try everything once, but I'm declining that offer, although I appreciate the sentiment.
Eliza: You're amazing, you really are. Just when I think you can't get any more stupid, you manage to surprise me.
Sarah:*Flips Eliza the finger* I am amazing, I know. It's so hard to cope with sometimes, but I manage.
Eliza: Did we have to get all the doors on set widened for your head?
Sarah: No, for your ass.
Eliza: *Fake laughter* Oh my god, shining wit, no hang on, whining shit, that's it.
Sarah: Oh my god, stop it, your so cutting. *Mock hurt face*
Eliza: *Slaps hands together really quickly, then opens them, smiling.* There, I hope you and Bertie are happy. *Hands Sarah a very squashed fly and walks off*
Sarah: *Looks incredulously at dead fly* How'd you do that?
Eliza: *Shouts over her shoulder* I'm Eliza Dushku, I have talents you never dreamed of, and if you're a bit nicer to me, maybe I'll show you some of them.
Sarah: *Watches Eliza, then thinks, blushes and runs after her* WAIT FOR ME! WAIT FOR ME!