Kitty's Pad.

Claimers: I own them all.

Title: Veruca Salt own the stunningly fantastic song, 'One More Page Of Insincerity Please'. They also own the lyrics, from 'Pale Green'.

You're dreaming while it's storming

I miss you,
I miss you without warning

I am somewhere far from sleep

Discord's POV

LaOC XXIX - One More Page Of Insincerity Please

I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here in the dark.

Mich went to bed hours ago.

She said everything was ok, but it's not.

It's not ok.

Everything's not ok.

I'm not ok.

I light a smoke up.

My head's in such a mess.

I've got thoughts going 'round at a hundred miles a second.

I feel like I'm walking in fog.

I'm looking 'round, but I can't see properly.

I get a painful urge to call Elle and tell her how sorry I am.

Tell her I still love her.

I reach over and pick the phone up and dial her number.

It rings.

And rings.

The longer it rings the more upset I start to get.

One, because I'm ruining everything.

And two, because she's not answering.

It's her home number, so why isn't she answering?

It's late, so she'd be home... unless...

It rings.

And rings.

And no-one picks it up.

I feel like crying again.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm drunk, or because the phone's just ringing.

It rings.

And rings.

Then, just as I'm about to put it down, she answers.

'Hello?'

I let out the breath I was holding in.

'Hey.'

'Dizzy. I was just dreaming about you.'

She sounds so happy to hear me.

She shouldn't be happy.

I've messed up so bad.

I can feel it in my heart, and it hurts.

'I didn't mean to wake you up. Sorry.'

I lie down on the sofa, holding the phone to my ear.

'Don't be silly. I don't mind you waking me up. It is late though, is something wrong?'

Is something wrong?

Yeah.

Me.

I'm wrong.

I can't say anything because my voice is all tight.

'Dizzy? What's wrong? Has something happened?'

Yeah, something's happened.

I feel a tear on my cheek.

And I'm sick of crying.

I'm getting soft.

I never used to cry.

'I'm getting dressed now. I'm coming down so we can talk. I'll be there in...'

'No. I'm... just drunk and feeling sorry for myself. You don't have to come down. I shouldn't have called you.'

'I want to see you. I missed you tonight. You're not at yours are you? I tried calling you a few times earlier.'

I wish I was at mine.

I wish I'd never come here tonight.

'I'm at... Michelle's.'

'Have you two been up to no good again?'

'What? No, we haven't been up to anything.'

'I was joking. You said you were drunk... Dizzy, what's wrong? I'm getting worried about you.'

You and me both.

'Nothing's wrong. I wanted to... I don't know, hear you and... I don't know why I called. I should go. Sorry for waking you up.'

'You keep apologising, that's not a good sign. Is Michelle still awake?'

'No. She went to bed hours ago.'

'I'm coming down to see you then. She won't mind.'

I want to see her so badly.

All this Lucy stuff is chewing me up, making me do stupid things.

I want to ask her about it.

But at the same time, I don't.

I don't think I could take it if I found out it was true.

Not again.

Before I know what's happened there's a flash and Elle's here.

I sit up, and she takes the phone out of my hand, putting it back down.

I wipe at my eyes, quickly, hoping she doesn't notice I've been crying.

But she does.

'Look at you. Why are you all bruised? And you're crying!'

She pulls my head to her stomach, holding me, and I feel worse.

I feel so bad for what happened tonight between me and Mich.

I feel... evil.

'You're not evil. What happened with you and Michelle?'

I pull back from her, quickly.

'You can't read my thoughts, I mean it!'

'Ok, I wont. Did you two have an argument? You haven't been fighting with her as well, have you? You've been one big mood lately.'

'We had... a bit of a row, but nothing major.'

'Do you want to tell me about it?'

I shake my head.

I don't want to lie to her any more than I am doing.

She straddles me and takes my face in her hands, kissing me so softly if makes me want to start crying all over again.

'I missed you, Dizzy.'

She kisses me again, then rests her head on my shoulder.

And it feels... safe; her holding me.

I have no idea why I ask, but I do.

Somewhere deep down the question keeps tapping, inside my head.

'Tell me about when you and Lucy were together?'

I feel her tense up in my arms, and she pulls back to look in my eyes.

'Where did that question come from?'

My heart.

Elle's POV

'Where did that question come from?'

I look down into her eyes trying desperately to find a clue in them.

But I come away empty handed.

'I don't know. It just came out. You don't have to if you don't want to.'

Now I see why she didn't want me to read her thoughts.

I give her a quick kiss and get off her.

I feel the need to pace, but I think it would seem to obvious.

'Is there something specific you want to ask, Dizzy?'

'Yes... no, just tell me about you and her.'

To say this has all come out of the nowhere is an understatement.

The more I think about it, the more I can't understand her motivation.

But. It does make her actions earlier seem less peculiar.

'Do we have to do this now? How about we meet tomorrow... or later today, and talk about everything properly? You could come to mine, how does that sound?'

She gets up, suddenly, but stands, still.

'Why not now? Do you need time to think about what you're going to tell me?'

I feel as if I am looking at a panther behind bars.

As she looks back at me I can feel something bubbling under the surface.

Alcohol and anger do not go well together.

A perfect example of this stands in front of me.

'Dizzy. It's late. Michelle's asleep, and you are, by your own admission, drunk. I was thinking that we could talk more freely tomorrow.'

She bites her bottom lip, as she thinks.

I can't help but smile, even angry she's adorable.

Of course, the subject matter is one I would rather not speak about.

Lucy is not in my good books at the moment.

She still owes me a proper apology for Abaddon.

'Ok. You're right. Tomorrow, I mean later today, then. I should let you get back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up.'

I don't think I'll brood over the matter.

She's doing enough for both of us.

'Are you sleeping on the sofa?'

It may be big, but so is she.

You could fit two of me in the same space she takes up.

I don't like to think of her being uncomfortable.

She looks down at the sofa, then up at me and nods her head.

I want to give her a big hug.

'Do you think Michelle would mind if I stole you for the rest of the night?'

Puzzled?

Come on Dizzy, I'm asking if you want to come back with me.

Angels and alcohol seem to be such a bad combination.

'Oh, right. I think it might be rude if I left.'

She looks back at the sofa and frowns.

I can't help smiling.

'Ok. Well I'll stay with you until you fall asleep then. No, don't look at me like you're going to protest. I'm in my casuals, so it's not as if I'd crease my dress.'

I do a twirl and show off my jeans and sweatshirt.

I knew I'd get a laugh out of you tonight, Dizzy.

'Hey... oh, your eminence. Shit, sorry.'

I turn round and see Michelle trying to cover up her bare stomach.

My, my.

I resist the urge to ask her if it was worth putting on such minimal clothing.

Then I watch as Dizzy looks at her, then drops her eyes and crosses her arms.

Body language often speaks more words than we could ever hope to.

Michelle walks the long way round to get to me, conveniently avoiding her.

If I have the gift, I may as well use it.

I take a quick peak in her mind, to see why she is avoiding Dizzy.

What I find out makes me retreat out of there instantly.

I look away from them both because I'm not sure if I can believe this.

Michelle and Dizzy?

Michelle and my Dizzy?!

My Dizzy!

Not just mine now, though.

My jaw clenches as it all sinks in.

My nails dig into the palms of my hands and I feel the skin begin to break.

I take a deep breath to try and prevent an outburst.

And I'm not sure at who.

Michelle should have known better.

And Dizzy...

I can't even finish that line of thinking.

Dizzy's still looking at her shoes, and...

Oh, you've realised have you Michelle?

How kind.

'Could I ask you not to read my mind, your eminence?!'

Dizzy looks over at me, and her face is filled with utter panic.

I close my eyes for a second as I calm my anger.

But it's not only anger I'm feeling, it's incredible pain as well.

'Too late, Michelle. I think I should leave you girls to it, seems I may have interrupted your fun and games.'

No-one in the room speaks.

I could cut the tension that surrounds us.

Silence is golden?

No, silence is deadly.

Silence can speak volumes.

And here, now, it has.

I quickly flash myself out of there, before I lose my temper... or maybe my mind.

I am not sure anymore.

I lie down on my bed.

The two people I thought I could trust have betrayed me.

Trust is such a fragile entity.

It can take years to build and a second to destroy.

And once it is gone, it's often impossible to regain.

Now all I have to do is decide if I want to trust either of them again.