Disclaimers: Joss owns all characters originally from BTVS. I do not. No harm intended.
Claimers: I own everyone else.
Title: Shelter own 'The Value'. Not me.
Dedications: To J, who saved my laptop from being crushed within the first ten minutes of me owning it. Danke. I'm such a klutz.
Comments: I'm renaming the whole spin off of a spin off, to the above. It's easier then. It's a damn good film. It also fits in well with this mini [and I mean mini] series.
 
Cordelia's POV
 
LaOC III - I'm Coming Down, If I Can Let Go!
 
Oh please, as-in my nightmares-if!
I sneer at some waiter who gives me the eye.
Is he going to spit in my food now?
So I flash him a mini smile, just in case he does.
There, all the bases covered.
 
'If he spits in your food I'll spit roast him, Cordelia.'
 
Did I say it out loud or is she just incredible perceptive?
Anyway.
I scan round and preen at all the eyes on us.
Look, but don't even think of touching!
No spreading round the sex points to all you people.
There's only one of her, and she's all mine.
 
Before we can even get to the table some idiot's grabbing and touching me!
 
'Hey, get your... Dis? Don't grab my dress, it's real you know!'
 
She pulls me off in a corner and pokes me in the chest.
Have I got finger magnets in there?
I know I'm well stacked, but all this attention in the cleavage department is getting me worried.
 
'Cordy? What the fuck are you doing with her?'
 
'Oh, I'm sorry Discord, didn't realise you were my mother. And, hello, I told you I had a date earlier on. Was I the only person there?'
 
'I didn't know you were hot on Lucy. Shit, you have no idea how screwed you are with her.'
 
How does she know her name?
I didn't say her name.
 
'Screwed? Sort of why I'm dating her. Sex points, Dis, sex points. Anyway, take your green eyed demon out on someone else. You had your chance. The Cordelia Chase speedboat has left the harbour. Now let me go so I can get back to being flattered.'
 
'Cordy, she's... arghh, she's not good for you. I know her, she's... bad.'
 
'Oh my God, have you slept with her? Was she any good?'
 
'God yes. Lucy no. I mean, no I haven't slept with her, not, she wasn't any good. Shit, this is making my head hurt.'
 
What?
This is all confusing.
It's like searching through the rails of Prada, and finding that all the size tags are missing.
 
Then she's off again, as she sees Lucy and...
Hey, she's my date!
Get your body off her hands!
I march my gorgeous self over to where Sarah Jessica Parker is coming on to my date.
Oh, I'm famous, look at me.
I can have anyone just because I'm on TV.
Yeah, well... I'm taller than you, so... there!
 
'Hey, Lucy! Hands off her, you tramp!'
 
Everyone here count themselves lucky Dis got in before me.
I'll sharpen some barbs up just in case.
Maybe something about how her ass looks huge in the clothes they put her in on TV?
 
'Tramp? Ditzy, stop talking about yourself like that! It makes me want to shed a whole tear. See, you're upsetting me! Come on Cordelia, let's leave the grrls to their... banal conversation? Boring evening? Dull sex? Elle, honey, if it helps, you can pretend it's me! Bye.'
 
I take everything back.
We won, they lost.
Wow, and I thought I was a bitch?
 
Dis was right, she is bad.
Is it ok for me to think that's sexy?
Whatever.
 
I'm Cordelia Chase and if I want to find girls sexy, I can.
 
I make it fashionable.
 
Lucy's POV
 
I'll skin her, then send her back up to Elle.
Bet she wouldn't want to be all kissy, kissy then.
Not with all the blood and exposed veins.
Seen it; not attractive.
 
See, Lucy, you saved her and now look, they're all lovey and smoochy!
Doing good things comes back on you three fold.
 
'What was all that about? I thought people were going to start staring at us like we were going to go all restaurant death match. And what's with Miss Famous and her body on your hands? Excuse me, everyone. She. Is with me.'
 
The sentence that was in my mouth, stops, as I watch her sending an evil stare over to someone who's looking at us.
How cute?

I can't help but smile.

I'm so easy, in more ways than one, but it's what she's after so no problem.

I could, of course, flambé the whole place and kill everyone inside.
But it's so much sweeter when we do it like this; the good old fashioned way.
 
With a look that could freeze Hell over.
 
 
 
Miss Chase, you just made my panties wet!