Kitty's Pad.

Claimers: I own them. Woo.

Title: Sleeper own the line. It's from 'Hunch'.

Dedications: To Tracy Emin. A girl following her own faded path.

Lyrics: Tanya Donelly owns 'Darkside'. A wonderful song.

Our future waits,

On the field of fair play.

I will meet you there... someday.

Jude's POV

LaOC XXXX - Don't Touch Me, You Must Be Crazy

'Let go of me! Do you know what you've done? I'll have every Amazon in this place waiting to rip you to shreds as soon as you step out of there, Knight! Get off me! Get off me!'

I grab Kreousa and try and pull her off the bars of Discord's cell.

I finally manage to remove her and throw her over my shoulder.

I walk us out of the cells, with her struggling the whole time.

Amazons are like little... no, big balls of volcanic debris.

Seemingly cool, but touching one can potentially leave you in amazing amounts of pain.

But for now, I appear to be safe.

As soon as we are in the outer office, I put her down.

'What are you doing, Kreousa? Do you think this is what Elle wants?'

She slams her fist into the wall and I can see her suppress the urge to cry.

'We don't even know if Elle's alive!'

She pounds her fist into the wall once more.

I take hold of her hands, preventing her from doing anymore damage to them.

'Kreousa. We must be calm. Look at me. She is alive. Have you felt her leave you?'

She shakes her head and closes her eyes.

Once more I see tears threatening to spill forth.

'She is alive. We would have felt her go if Lucy had failed. Now, I want you to go back to go and check on Michelle. I am worried about her. Will you do that for me, please?'

Never order an Amazon Queen to do anything.

She will always refuse, even if she wants to do it.

They are very easy to guide once you understand their temperaments.

And sending her to Michelle's side will at least keep her out of trouble.

She nods her head, goes to leave then stops.

'Why are you protecting Discord? You hate her.'

Do I?

You don't know anything about hate, Kreousa.

You are a child playing with emotions that could never come close to the ones I hold inside.

'Because Elle would have wanted someone to keep her alive. I do not see any one else coming forth. I am only being a good Angel.'

Again, my trademark sarcasm.

I do not even have to try with it anymore.

How tragic.

She looks me up and down, then nods her head slowly.

I glance down at my clothes and wonder what she is so interested in.

'You would've made a good Amazon. Perhaps I'll try adopt you into the ranks later? I'll go and check up on Michelle.'

She walks off, chuckling to herself.

Adopt me?

I am three hundred times her age!

Amazons.

They are so infuriating sometimes.

Now back to the person who would rather it was not me protecting her.

Sometimes we do not get all that we wish for.

And I know that Discord has not wished for my protection.

But I am all she has now.

The irony is not lost on me.

I make my way back to her cell, and unlock the door.

'Discord? It is Jude.'

She lies perfectly still on the table, but that is not difficult seeing as we have her strapped down.

All the same, I expected a few profanities.

As I get closer to her she keeps her gaze on the ceiling.

I see tears dripping down her cheeks, and onto the floor.

Splash.

'I am going to take the restraints off of you. Feel free to escape, but as Kreousa proved, you are safer here.'

I undo the leather straps and take a step back, but she does not move.

Still, she silently weeps.

Suddenly, as if someone released the thought in my head, it comes to me.

Is this my doing?

Did I push her to this?

In my years as an Angel of Vengeance I discovered that the best torture was the mental variety.

The thing that a person fears most, often lives in their own mind.

It is a most powerful weapon.

Death can be achieved by using that, and that alone.

Pushing people over the edge by systematic cruelty of the mind.

My legs have walked my until my back hits the bars.

What have I become?

I am surrounded by the purity of Heaven, but wash in the dirty water of Hell.

'Are they alive?'

Three words pull me from my thoughts.

I shake my head quickly, removing my despairing contemplation.

'Michelle is alive. Elle... I have not felt her leave, so we must hope for the best. Lucy is the only one who has enough power to heal her. So...'

How do you finish a sentence that falls heavily from your mouth?

What if we can not feel her leave us?

What if she has died and we just do not know?

What if, what if, what if...

They fall through my mind, like a waterfall of anguish and fear.

And as they rain down upon me I watch Discord's tears fall from her eyes.

She simply stares at the ceiling and cries.

My initial aim is now slowly being dissolved.

A memorial day, so no-one would ever forget the anniversary of your departure.

A day to mark in the calendar of every Angel.

A red circle around your death.

And it has caused this?

I have caused this?

I leave her cell, lock the door and walk away.

But all the time the look she held earlier, haunts me.

Like a ghostly figure drifting through my mind.

That same look before, when...

Frenzied and demonic.

And something is not right.

I can feel it inside of me.

Like a ship, listing in heavy seas.

I ponder what the two cases have in common.

And then I realise what the one similarity is.

Me.

And now I know.

I know as my breath catches in my throat.

This is all my fault.