'Do you want to get naked first then? Would that get
you in the moooood? Keep that look for Angels that care. Oh,
sweet cheeks, I'm kidding. I'm trying to cheer up that sad face of yours.'
She lets out a seriously theatrical sigh, then throws
her hands up in the air.
'Lucy? Can I have a moment of reflection please?'
'I have mirrors on my ceiling. You can reflect lying
in bed with me if you want. Ooo, I'll take that grimace as a no then,
shall I?'
Her hands pretend to throttle some invisible person.
Probably me.
I think I'm getting on her nerves.
Nothing like testing the mental capacity of someone
by pissing them off.
Just checking to see if I fried her brain.
'Lucy, stop being so transparent.'
'Transparent? Can you see my underwear then? No,
wait. I'm not wearing any! Elle, you whore, keep your eyes off my
bod.'
She sits down on the bed and flops back.
She's ever so cute.
I roll on to my side, and start rubbing her nearest shoulder.
'Ellie Wellie, you're tense. Has Disclawed been
neglecting you in the bedroom again? Look, I'm with someone now, but
I'll help you out this once. Come on, take your clothes off.'
And there we have it.
A God volcano!
'Lucy, I would rather remove my own fingernails
with a pair of pliers than have sex with you! I need to
think. Either be very quiet, which will be almost impossible for you,
or I'm going back to my place.'
'Pliers? Foreplay! Wonderful. I'll get naked now
then.'
I get up in front of her and pretend to try
to undo my dress, but feign not being able to reach the zip behind
me.
'Scrummy-pie? Can you get this with your teeth,
please?'
'I'm ignoring you.'
I straddle her waist and kiss her forehead, and I
almost see a smile.
No, there it is, a real one.
'No "thank you's" for saving your life? I could
have killed myself trying. And what do I get for being so wonderful?
Nothing. Not even a grope.'
I stare down at her, and she takes my face in her
hands.
'Thank you, Lucy.'
With that she pulls my face in to hers and gives me
a chaste, but ever so slow kiss.
My eyes flutter closed.
Don't sigh, Lucy, it's so pathetic.
And, dare I say it, last season.
Last season?
A name pops in my head.
Cordelia.
I pull back off her and get up, smoothing my clothes
off.
'Yes, well... glad you found the time to thank me.'
'My pleasure, Luce. Do my girls and boys know I'm
ok?'
'Yes they do. When I was unconscious I manage to whisk
my soul upstairs to let them all know I'd saved your ass, and ravished
you. They were a bit pissed off you weren't a virgin anymore, but I
told them you lost that about three hundred thousand years
ago. After they picked their jaws off the floor and slipped their eye-balls
back in, I got a bouquet for my efforts and a gold carriage
clock.'
I love it when she laughs like that.
Nice to hear.
'I should let them know I'm alive. Thank you for helping
me, and for not peeling off my clothes in the process. Although
if I find any hickeys on parts of me that should have been covered up,
I'll...'
'Buy me some sexy undies? Slip into bed with me and
help me play with my G-spot? Keep my breasts warm with your tongue?'
'Punch your lights out! Oh, and don't think I've forgotten.
You're with someone? You saying that is almost akin to marriage.
I think we have to get together soon and...'
'No! Stop there. Leave me with some hope, Ellie.'
I jump on top of her, and playfully nuzzle her neck.
She slaps my shoulder, then pushes me over on
to the bed.
Then she pins me down, kisses my nose, and...
how odd?
She pulls me up and gives me a big hug.
Perks of the job.
Literally; you should see my nipples.
'You are the best nemesis a girl could have. I won't
forget what you did today. Thank. You.'
She punctuates the last two words, with kisses.
Then laughs a little, grabs my face and pulls me in
for a sizzler of a lip lock!
I wish I'd worn panties now.
I hope I haven't left a wet patch on the bed.
With that, she gets off me, curtsies, and flashes
out of my bedroom.
I fall back on the bed, piteously.
Playing me at my own game?
Shame on her!
God is the biggest bitch going.
But, ooo. I love her for it!