Claimers: *sigh* They are
all mine. And aren't there fuc*in' LOADS of them.
Title & Lyrics: System
of A Down own the line. Not me.
Disclaimers: "The Vortex Of
Doom" is a line from Gina Crosley's net ID. I do not own it. She does.
Dedications: I wrote this
at the suggestion of DreamFrequence. It's for you, babe.
Call it insane?
Yeah, they call it insane.
Gabrielle's POV
LaOC XLIV - Sitting
Around All Day
You kissed God!
You... like, almost put your tongue in her
mouth!
I think I'm going to die.
Except I'm already dead, so that's pointless.
I open my office door and take a look into
the halls.
It's safe, no God anywhere near.
I make my way over to the main desk.
'Sam? Have you... Sam?'
I watch her as she shakes her keyboard, singing
loudly.
Have I wandered into karaoke reception?
'I can't get noooooo--satisfaction. I can't...
Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.'
'O-k. Whatever. Have you got my paperwork from
Bee yet?'
She looks at me as if I've asked her if she
can speak Japanese.
'What? Oh! Um... it's here. Somewhere. No it
is. Wait a minute and I'll find it.'
She opens her desk drawer, looks in then quickly
shuts it, blushing.
'Hoooo. Not in that one!'
She opens the drawer again, looks in, smiles,
then quickly shuts it.
'What did you want, Gab?'
She's going to make me crazy.
'Paperwork from Bee? My paperwork? The paper
stuff, that's work, from Bee?'
Just then, as if I wasn't having a bad enough
day, in walks Jesus.
Great.
'Hey, Gab. Have you seen... um... . You
know, don't worry about it.'
He blows a cloud of smoke from his cig... no,
from his joint over to me.
Taking a step back I grit my teeth and pretend
I'm somewhere else... like Hell.
'Sam? Paperwork! Look, is this it?'
I pick up a package marked for my attention,
and with the return address as "The Vortex Of Doom".
Bee, you've got too much time on your hands.
'That's it! Wow, and it was right there the
whole time. Gabrielle, you're a life saver. I would have looked for hours.
Thanks.'
With that the phone rings and she's pressing
all the buttons on the exchange.
'Jes, can you point your exhaust fumes elsewhere
or I won't get any of this stuff done.'
I tap my package and go to leave.
A hand on my arm stops me.
'Gab. I heard Elle was back. How's her Godness
doing?'
Probably a whole lot worse after I kissed her.
'She looked well when I saw her a little while
ago. Think she went to see Mich and Dis. You could catch up with her at the
cells or infirmary if you wanted?'
He takes another long drag, and nods slowly
and walks off.
And everyone down on Earth looks up to him?
If only they knew.
Back to my form filling then.
I start walking back to my office, but then
see Psyche.
Ok, act cool and think of something funny to
say!
'Gab. How's it going?'
'Paperwork... I mean, I have a lot of paperwork
to do.'
No, that is not cool or funny, or
witty.
Don't go red, please don't go red.
'Didn't realise you were busy. I'll leave you
to it.'
'No! I'm not busy. I've... finished most of
it. I have to deliver it... to Bee.'
Gab, you sound like a moron.
A sentence, that's all you have to say.
Link the words up and have them make a tiny
bit of sense.
That's all!
She leans against the wall and smiles at me.
She has really white teeth.
And she totally has that Amazon physique.
She's got the biggest wingspan ever.
It's so hot.
'You're always weird 'round me. I'm not that
bad, honestly. Don't listen to the gossip.'
Don't listen to it?
That's all I've been doing.
That and hanging off your every word for the
past six months.
I need to shake the hand of whoever transferred
you over here.
It's now or never.
Ask her out for a drink, or dinner or something.
'I don't think you're bad. I don't really listen
to gossip. I... um...'
Ask her!
All she can do is say no, and... then tell
every other Amazon and make you a laughing stock.
Ok, don't ask her.
I feel myself start to blush, and she her smile
gets wider.
'Are you going to finish that sentence anytime
soon?'
I nod my head and take a deep breath.
'Would you like...'
'Gabrielle, I've found your paperwork!'
SAM!!
I turn back and shout down the hall.
'Sam? I've got it. Remember? Here, see?'
I shake my package and she picks her glasses
up and holds them in front of her eyes.
'Oh? Ok. Don't worry then.'
I turn back to Psyche.
'How'd you deal with her, Gab, she's nuts.
Cute, but nuts.'
'Cute?'
Mouth?
Can you wait until my brain has run through
what I need to say next time, please?
Psyche looks down the hall, and shrugs her
shoulders.
'She's cute. Bit ditzy. Nice legs though.'
Nice legs?
I have nice legs.
Haven't noticed mine, have you.
It suddenly dawns on me that I'm fighting a
losing battle here.
I'm the complete opposite of Sam.
She's petite, I'm tall.
She's blonde, I'm brunette.
I'm not even in the running here.
'Not my type. I guess she's cute. Haven't thought
about it.'
She cocks her head to the side and raises an
eyebrow at me.
'What is your type then, Gabrielle?'
You.
'I... um... don't really have a type.
I don't get a lot of time to date so I'm a bit out of the loop.'
Again, that half smile of hers appears on her
lips.
That lipstick's so dark.
How does it stay on for so long?
'This? It likes my lips I s'pose.'
Don't say stuff out loud!
Not that sort of stuff anyway.
I must look really shocked and red, because
she gently slaps my arm.
'You need to relax. I have to go, I've
got a meeting. Maybe I'll see you 'round? You can finish off that sentence
of yours next time.'
She gives me a wink and a big smile, then runs
off down the hall.
Finish that sentence off?
I think it nearly finished me off.
I've been around forever.
I've killed some of the most fearsome warriors
in all of the planet's history.
I've caste judgement upon the guilty, and saved
innocents from death.
And I can't ask an Amazon out on a date.
I'm destined to be single for eternity.