Claimers: *sigh* They are all mine. And aren't there fuc*in' LOADS of them.
Title & Lyrics: System of A Down own the line. Not me.
Disclaimers: "The Vortex Of Doom" is a line from Gina Crosley's net ID. I do not own it. She does.
Dedications: I wrote this at the suggestion of DreamFrequence. It's for you, babe.
 
 
Call it insane?
Yeah, they call it insane.
 
 
Gabrielle's POV
 
LaOC XLIV - Sitting Around All Day
 
 
You kissed God!
You... like, almost put your tongue in her mouth!
 
I think I'm going to die.
Except I'm already dead, so that's pointless.
 
I open my office door and take a look into the halls.
It's safe, no God anywhere near.
I make my way over to the main desk.
 
'Sam? Have you... Sam?'
 
I watch her as she shakes her keyboard, singing loudly.
Have I wandered into karaoke reception?
 
'I can't get noooooo--satisfaction. I can't... Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.'
 
'O-k. Whatever. Have you got my paperwork from Bee yet?'
 
She looks at me as if I've asked her if she can speak Japanese.
 
'What? Oh! Um... it's here. Somewhere. No it is. Wait a minute and I'll find it.'
 
She opens her desk drawer, looks in then quickly shuts it, blushing.
 
'Hoooo. Not in that one!'
 
She opens the drawer again, looks in, smiles, then quickly shuts it.
 
'What did you want, Gab?'
 
She's going to make me crazy.
 
'Paperwork from Bee? My paperwork? The paper stuff, that's work, from Bee?'
 
Just then, as if I wasn't having a bad enough day, in walks Jesus.
Great.
 
'Hey, Gab. Have you seen... um... . You know, don't worry about it.'
 
He blows a cloud of smoke from his cig... no, from his joint over to me.
Taking a step back I grit my teeth and pretend I'm somewhere else... like Hell.
 
'Sam? Paperwork! Look, is this it?'
 
I pick up a package marked for my attention, and with the return address as "The Vortex Of Doom".
Bee, you've got too much time on your hands.
 
'That's it! Wow, and it was right there the whole time. Gabrielle, you're a life saver. I would have looked for hours. Thanks.'
 
With that the phone rings and she's pressing all the buttons on the exchange.
 
'Jes, can you point your exhaust fumes elsewhere or I won't get any of this stuff done.'
 
I tap my package and go to leave.
A hand on my arm stops me.
 
'Gab. I heard Elle was back. How's her Godness doing?'
 
Probably a whole lot worse after I kissed her.
 
'She looked well when I saw her a little while ago. Think she went to see Mich and Dis. You could catch up with her at the cells or infirmary if you wanted?'
 
He takes another long drag, and nods slowly and walks off.
And everyone down on Earth looks up to him?
If only they knew.
 
Back to my form filling then.
 
I start walking back to my office, but then see Psyche.
Ok, act cool and think of something funny to say!
 
'Gab. How's it going?'
 
'Paperwork... I mean, I have a lot of paperwork to do.'
 
No, that is not cool or funny, or witty.
Don't go red, please don't go red.
 
'Didn't realise you were busy. I'll leave you to it.'
 
'No! I'm not busy. I've... finished most of it. I have to deliver it... to Bee.'
 
Gab, you sound like a moron.
A sentence, that's all you have to say.
Link the words up and have them make a tiny bit of sense.
That's all!
 
She leans against the wall and smiles at me.
She has really white teeth.
And she totally has that Amazon physique.
She's got the biggest wingspan ever.
It's so hot.
 
'You're always weird 'round me. I'm not that bad, honestly. Don't listen to the gossip.'
 
Don't listen to it?
That's all I've been doing.
That and hanging off your every word for the past six months.
I need to shake the hand of whoever transferred you over here.
 
It's now or never.
Ask her out for a drink, or dinner or something.
 
'I don't think you're bad. I don't really listen to gossip. I... um...'
 
Ask her!
All she can do is say no, and... then tell every other Amazon and make you a laughing stock.
Ok, don't ask her.
 
I feel myself start to blush, and she her smile gets wider.
 
'Are you going to finish that sentence anytime soon?'
 
I nod my head and take a deep breath.
 
'Would you like...'
 
'Gabrielle, I've found your paperwork!'
 
SAM!!
 
I turn back and shout down the hall.
 
'Sam? I've got it. Remember? Here, see?'
 
I shake my package and she picks her glasses up and holds them in front of her eyes.
 
'Oh? Ok. Don't worry then.'
 
I turn back to Psyche.
 
'How'd you deal with her, Gab, she's nuts. Cute, but nuts.'
 
'Cute?'
 
Mouth?
Can you wait until my brain has run through what I need to say next time, please?
 
Psyche looks down the hall, and shrugs her shoulders.
 
'She's cute. Bit ditzy. Nice legs though.'
 
Nice legs?
I have nice legs.
Haven't noticed mine, have you.
 
It suddenly dawns on me that I'm fighting a losing battle here.
I'm the complete opposite of Sam.
She's petite, I'm tall.
She's blonde, I'm brunette.
I'm not even in the running here.
 
'Not my type. I guess she's cute. Haven't thought about it.'
 
She cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow at me.
 
'What is your type then, Gabrielle?'
 
You.
 
'I... um... don't really have a type. I don't get a lot of time to date so I'm a bit out of the loop.'
 
Again, that half smile of hers appears on her lips.
 
That lipstick's so dark.
How does it stay on for so long?
 
'This? It likes my lips I s'pose.'
 
Don't say stuff out loud!
Not that sort of stuff anyway.
I must look really shocked and red, because she gently slaps my arm.
 
'You need to relax. I have to go, I've got a meeting. Maybe I'll see you 'round? You can finish off that sentence of yours next time.'
 
She gives me a wink and a big smile, then runs off down the hall.
 
 
Finish that sentence off?
I think it nearly finished me off.
 
I've been around forever.
I've killed some of the most fearsome warriors in all of the planet's history.
I've caste judgement upon the guilty, and saved innocents from death.
 
And I can't ask an Amazon out on a date.

 

 
I'm destined to be single for eternity.