Dis/claimers: I own Lucy. Joss, UPN, Mutant Enemy etc, own Cordy and Buffy.
Title: VS own the line, from 'She's a Brain'. Not me.
Dedications: To 'The Varos Triad' and the following line: "So tell me, did it really go into colour? We only had a black and white." I almost cried.

Lucy's POV
 
LAoC VII - Someone Said She Was Cerebral, But I Don't Know What That Means
 
I turn back round, and see Cordelia trying to walk up my gravel path in those heels of hers.
Priceless moment.
I floated along a quarter of an inch above the pebbles.
They can really ruin a person sole.
A person's sole?
What a crap joke.
 
'Lucy, what was that man saying when...'
 
I pause, watching her, as she sways a little.
Oh dear, I think the whole night surviving on wine and three leaves of lettuce may be taking its toll.
She jabs a finger out, as if it were a little sword, then pauses, blinks, and her whole body falls sideways into my miniature hedge!
I can't help but laugh, even if she is squashing my foliage.
With a click of my fingers, I flash us both into my living room.
 
Tap, tap, wakey, wakey.
 
'Hey, get your finger off my head! Who redecorated my apartment this colour? Eww!'
 
'What's wrong with it? I like grey!'
 
There's nothing wrong with grey.
It's very me.
 
'Oh. This is your... it's nice, in a sort of, dull way. It should be beige. Gillian Anderson has beige.'
 
There is nothing wrong with grey!
I picked this!
 
I sneak a peak in her brain, to see what she's up to.
How odd.
Even in her head she's thinking exactly the same thoughts.
No fun bouncing round there if it's all truthful.
Especially if she is picking apart my colour choices!
She gets up off the sofa, and picks a bit of hedge out of her hair.
 
'Why are we here, Lucy? I mean, my apartment was ten minutes from the restaurant, which I don't remember leaving. Did someone spike my food?'
 
'Spike your lettuce? Doubtful. I couldn't remember your address, and you were being very little help, what with you soaking yourself in wine. So I bought us here, to my boudoir!'
 
A pout?
How adorable!
I could give her a slow hard kiss for showing me one of those.
 
'Wine? I am not drunk!'
 
She say's swaying some more.
 
'Cordelia? I'm over here?'
 
'Oh, right. I was... looking at your wall. Anyway, I'm not drunk, you know. I can handle my alcohol, very well!'
 
With a flick of her hair, she spins round as if to go... well, where, I'm not sure of, and then walks right into the arm of my sofa, falling over the side of it.
Oh. Dear. Me.
 
'Stop laughing! I'm. Not. Drunk!'
 
'No, and I bet tomorrow you'll come down with a cold that means you'll feel very ill, and have a terrible headache. Stop being stubborn and take my hand!'
 
I haul her up, depositing her on the arm of the sofa, which she promptly falls off of, luckily landing on it this time.
This is fab.
I haven't laughed this hard in years!
I'm so glad I took her out now.
 
'Miss Chase. Would you like some water, not that it will help, but I'm not used to being considerate: it's all I can think of.'
 
'Water? Bottled or tap? I don't drink tap. I read this article once, that said it has teeny invisible shrimp in it. To be honest, if they're not cooked, and on a plate, I'm thinking; no thank you.'
 
'Cordelia, as much as it pains me to do this. I think you have to sleep the wine off.'
 
'I'm fine. Look.'
 
She gets up, and everything seems ok for now.
I'm on full alert to catch her body should it decide to fall over again.
I never knew two bottles of red wine could do this to a person.
Is two bottles a lot?
 
'You do seem a little more stable; for now.'
 
'You haven't taken advantage of me once tonight. You're so sweet, Lucy!'
 
Sweet?
Like cotton candy?
No, that's sticky... oh wait, perhaps I am like that a bit.
Not at present, but it doesn't take me long to get in that state; a well placed finger, perhaps a bite, here or there... 
Stop the world revolving for a second.
Is she saying I'm losing my touch?
Right!
 
With that I slide a hand up her arm, to her neck, and pull her lips to mine.
Hmm, that wine was worth the forty dollars a bottle; tastes lovely.
This way I get to try it, but don't have to say hello to the hangover the next day.
Lucky me; unlucky her.
 
I peak into her mind, and hear that she--likes it!
So much for sex points.
But then I can hear her start to panic a little.
So I let her go.
What did I do?
 
She points a finger at me, wide eyed, still swaying a little.
 
'This is... we're going to have sex!'
 
And the sky's blue.
 
Am I missing out on something?
Oh, brave the Buffyesque babbling brook, Lucy.
 
Good grief.
I hear it.
In her head.
How did I miss this?!
 
Cordelia Chase is a virgin?!
No, my dear, doing that does not mean you've lost your virginity!
Someone finally remembered my birthday: if a few months late.
 
'Miss Chase? Have you ever had sex?'
 
'Excuse me? That's a really personal question!'
 
'You didn't even get up to fifty sex points?'
 
'How do you know... I... I had several popular boyfriends in high school, you know.'
 
I think I would have punched that Xandy boy, if he'd have lasted less than a minute with me!
 
'Is that even third base? That's like running off of second, and tripping over your own laces! You're nervous? That's very...'
 
'I am not nervous!'
 
Oh, back on out of that mind for a few minutes, Lucy.
I think she's about to blow.
 
'Cordelia...'
 
'Excuse me, Miss Sexpert, just because I don't trade myself out for bubblegum, does not mean... stop laughing! Hey, I was just getting into my rant.'
 
'Sorry carry... carry on.'
 
'Fine. I'm going home!'
 
What?
She grabs her clutch, then looks round for the door.
 
'Cordelia. It's just that I'm amazed that someone who looks like you do, hasn't had more exper... hasn't had more... I can't think of the word.'
 
'Sex?'
 
'Well I was hoping for something a little more subtle, but if you like; sex.'
 
I know I do; like that is.
 
'I don't think it's any of your business if I have or haven't, anyway.'
 
I sit down on my leather sofa.
I love the way it creaks.
I wonder if Faith feels like this?
 
'Cordelia. Sit down with me for a second. Come on, down here. I don't bite.'
 
She sits down, with a face that could end people's lives.
She's so gritty.
It's fantastic!
 
'Now. Close your eyes. Come on. I won't hurt you.'
 
Yet.
I keep that adage out of her audible range.
Best I think.
I'd only hurt her in the best ways, anyway.
It hardly even marks.
 
Oh, she's closed her eyes!
How did someone so beautiful and trusting, manage to keep her virginity in tact for this long!
Ok, virginity is a bit subjective as she's done some things, but technically, she's still available to break in.
That thought alone makes me want to rip that dress off her body and take her.
But, for some reason, something stops me.
It's that same conscience that made me help Dispawed.
I knew I should have had more therapy!
I can't believe she thinks doing what she has, means she's had sex!
Naive and cute.
 
There was a time when I would have thrown her over my shoulder, and played until the night ended.
I appear to have grown up.
Damn.
 
So I lean over, and kiss her; no tongues either.
Am I good or what?
My hands obviously haven't been let into the latest 'Lucy's being thoughtful' memo, as they slide up her thighs.
No, stop that!
Don't make me slap you...
How would I slap my own hands?
Never mind.
 
Ok, stop now.
 
Lucy?
Stop now.
 
Lucy?!
 
Stop!
 
I finally get in control of my mouth, and pull back.
She's incredibly sweet; and not only her taste.
It's shocking, because she's such a bitch at the same time.
An amazing mix.
 
'Come on.'
 
I get up and pull her up by the hand, leading her to the bedroom.
 
'Ok. Now, I'm not nervous, because I've done stuff, only, not with a girl! So...'
 
'Good night Miss Chase...'
 
I kiss her lips, open the spare bedroom door, and usher her in.
 
'... . Yes, it's as much a shock to you, as to me. But we will mount... those sex points up when you are sober. If you get up before me, which is highly likely, raid the kitchen, do what every you want. That includes waking me up by rubbing your naked body over mine. Your face! I'm... I was going to say joking, but I was being serious. Anyway, I'll speak to you tomorrow.'
 
And with that I go into my room, shut the door, and get undressed.
 
With a libido like mine, I'm now glad I had a shower capable of producing ice cold water installed.
 
Sometimes I wonder at the state of my mind.
Knocking back a prime piece of virgin like Cordelia Chase?
 
 
 
 
Oh well, it'll give me more time to think up ways of popping that cork of hers!