Disclaimer:
Don’t own them, Joss does. But if he is hiring them out for weddings, bar
mitzvahs and christenings I’m sure me and Kitty can pool our resources together….lol
Everything else in this is mine, so hands off!!!
Everything else in this is mine, so hands off!!!
Comments: Okay two things, this idea
came to me when I’d drunk far too much wine and was stuck on the tube home
with nothing to do so if it doesn’t work I’m not at fault. The other thing
is I’m not used to doing Faith fic other than the poems so bear with me whilst
I try to get inside her head, makes a change from trying to get into her pants….lol.
Thank you comment: Errr well apart from
thanking the manufacturers of the wine I was drinking, thanx go to Kitty,
who lets me swap and change so much with my fan fic and never once complains….I
promise the Fates is almost there!
Last comment: Go with me on this one
okay, she may not look the “Dear diary” type, but appearances can be deceptive.
Faith’s Journal
May 2000
So we’re training right. And there she is.
All blonde and sweaty and totally kicking some class A-ass with the new punch
bag Giles got for her. He got me stuff to, I went three rounds with Xander
in a padded suit, cool. Pretended it was Riley and kicked the shit out of
him. I seem to be burning off more energy than I ever used to, or at least
I need to burn it off and don’t always get the chance. Things are slow on
the hellmouth since the government boys vacated for sunnier climes, leaving
one G.I. Joe behind that they shouldn’t have. Don’t know why but the guy just
winds me up the wrong way. He’s so square looking, and he’s like built for
pounding the bad guys but all he ever does is follow B around like a lost
puppy, talking the talk but not walking the walk. Nah, cos that’s our jobs
so he can just back off from my territory, I mean our territory.
Eventually, as always happens lately, me and
B get into a sparring match. Starts off your gentle practice kinda deal at
first, you know she tries a roundhouse kick, I block it with both arms then
sweep her legs, she jumps over them…yadda yadda yadda as Red might say. Then
I miss an easy punch she throws at me and our skin connects. She’s in that
grey/white vest combo she always wears for training, and I’m in my usual,
black, tight, everything waiting to break out look. Our arms are bare, and
its her hands on my bare arms that makes me realise I blacked out for a second
there. Damnit, man I never lose concentration like that. I felt like such
a class A idiot. No doubt she’s thinking that anyway, or the other alternative,
“yay me, I decked Faith and she never saw it coming”….man, if the world could
have spewed forth a demon, or hell even, at that point I would have welcomed
it with a woo, a hoo and a big ticker tape parade. And the strangest thing
was happening to my body too, it was all tingly, like when you were a kid
and you’d put your tongue on the end of a battery just to get that buzzing
sensation shoot through your mouth, well that was what my body was doing,
must have been from the Slayer whammy B gave me, but still. Her hands on my
bare flesh got me thinking….
Nah, five-by-five right?
May 2000
Okay so here’s something new. Turns out slayer healing ability becomes null and void when you actually get decked by a slayer. Cancels each other out, just like back in maths class with those two negatives make a positive shit. Or two wrongs make a right. Say, how does that work anyhow? Well either way, the fact is I got up this morning feeling like I’d had one too many hits of the good stuff Willy keeps behind the bar at Demon’s R Us, looked in the mirror and sure as shitting in the woods is gonna be rough on your ass I had one huge…what is it Giles says?…shiner! Yeah my right eye all puffed up like I had gone ten rounds with the vampire version of Mike Tyson. No need for my usual dark eyeliner and smoky shadow this morning. Hello to sunglasses and stupid remarks from the sleaze ball who calls himself the manager of this dive I sleep in. “Say little lady. Get into a fight diddya? Hope he was worth it!”
Two things went through my head at this point. One, beating him to a bloody pulp would save me on next weeks rent but would lead to trouble for yours truly and I’ve been trying to avoid running into my old buddy trouble ever since me and B hooked up with this slayer gig. And the second thing, why is it everyone assumes where I am concerned there is always a he? Like I’m just Sunnydale’s entry to Slut of TheYear or something. Okay I might not dress like the girl next door, cos well B has that covered and come to think of it looks damn fine doing it, but I’m not some skanky ho looking for a quick fix. Is that how people see me? Is that how she sees me.
Man that bothers me.
I can just picture them now, the Scoobys, talking around Giles table at the magic shop. “You gotta admit, she dresses like a ho” that’ll come from Red, and she’ll drop her voice low for the ho bit in that annoying way she does whenever she thinks she is saying something bad. Xander will probably chip in with some macho crap. “Well she looks good to me” at which point that ex-demon girlfriend will hit him or screech “hey” the way she does and launch into her “When I was a demon” routine, something along the lines of “…oh there were plenty of girls like Faith around back in my demon days, I never liked them, they didn’t need a vengeance demon they got their revenge by leaving in the morning without milking the cows.” Or some other such shit.
Would B jump in to my defence? Slayers stick together right? She’d go with her diplomatic face, trying to keep the peace between everyone like usual, but still I can hear her now. “Faith’s Faith, she’s just a little pre-occupied with sex that’s all.”
Well fuck them! And fuck that guy this morning. And fuck my mother who’s legacy was to dress dirty and talk even dirtier so the shitheads of the world won’t use you for a dumpster. And fuck me for believing her. And for caring what other people think of me. What she thinks of me. Man this is a road I don’t wanna walk down.
Five by five. Eat shit Faith.
May 2000
Yesterday was a bad day. A low point in the already batting zero life that I call my own. Freaky stuff is happening and its not got anything to do with a new big bad coming into town or one of Red’s spells going ass first down the john again.
I mean freaky stuff is happening to me.
Take this morning for instance. Finally showed my face at the magic shop, my slightly less bruised but still showing some signs of “ouch that hurts” face that is. I was really hoping to not run into any of the Scoobys. Just wanted to check in with Giles and go some rounds with that punch bag. It had my name on it you know? They should have all been at college anyway, or doing their day jobs. Day job, now there’s a novel idea. You’d think that the job of vampire slayer would automatically free up your days cos guess what guys, vamps have a problem with direct sunlight! Yeah but there’s plenty of demons who don’t. B will back me up on this one. Don’t know how she can pull off all that studying and slaying and licking army boy’s tonsils as much as she does. But that’s B for you. One of the people who do rather than the people who don’t. Three guesses to which category I fall into.
But what do you know. For once college gal slayer ain’t hitting the books or talking girl talk with Red over a mochachino. She’s at the magic shop with Giles. She said she was waiting for me. Okay. That got my attention. She looks at my face, had to dump the glasses when I came inside cos they’re so damn dark I almost knocked over the crystal ball display Giles hooked up for the tourist trade. So much for Slayer agility. So she can see the shiner she gave me the other day. And there’s this look in her eyes, this pained look as if she knows my face aches the kinda ache you get after a really mean dentist has been at you, and she realises she was the one to cause it in the first place. Concern and sorrow are warring with each other in her eyes and I’m still getting over the fact she said she was waiting to see me.
Then BAM!!! Full on body slam knocking the wind right out of me. What was it? A demon yeah? Some big mother intent on killing a slayer for the rep he’d get. Nope. I felt like I’d been hit by a ten ton truck being driven by a ten ton evil guy but all it took to make me feel that way was her hand, lightly touching my bruised face. And then she almost whispered it, her voice cracking a little. “I’m so sorry Faith. I never meant to hurt you.”
Told you man, freaky stuff is happening to me lately.
Five by five.
Yesterday was a bad day. A low point in the already batting zero life that I call my own. Freaky stuff is happening and its not got anything to do with a new big bad coming into town or one of Red’s spells going ass first down the john again.
I mean freaky stuff is happening to me.
Take this morning for instance. Finally showed my face at the magic shop, my slightly less bruised but still showing some signs of “ouch that hurts” face that is. I was really hoping to not run into any of the Scoobys. Just wanted to check in with Giles and go some rounds with that punch bag. It had my name on it you know? They should have all been at college anyway, or doing their day jobs. Day job, now there’s a novel idea. You’d think that the job of vampire slayer would automatically free up your days cos guess what guys, vamps have a problem with direct sunlight! Yeah but there’s plenty of demons who don’t. B will back me up on this one. Don’t know how she can pull off all that studying and slaying and licking army boy’s tonsils as much as she does. But that’s B for you. One of the people who do rather than the people who don’t. Three guesses to which category I fall into.
But what do you know. For once college gal slayer ain’t hitting the books or talking girl talk with Red over a mochachino. She’s at the magic shop with Giles. She said she was waiting for me. Okay. That got my attention. She looks at my face, had to dump the glasses when I came inside cos they’re so damn dark I almost knocked over the crystal ball display Giles hooked up for the tourist trade. So much for Slayer agility. So she can see the shiner she gave me the other day. And there’s this look in her eyes, this pained look as if she knows my face aches the kinda ache you get after a really mean dentist has been at you, and she realises she was the one to cause it in the first place. Concern and sorrow are warring with each other in her eyes and I’m still getting over the fact she said she was waiting to see me.
Then BAM!!! Full on body slam knocking the wind right out of me. What was it? A demon yeah? Some big mother intent on killing a slayer for the rep he’d get. Nope. I felt like I’d been hit by a ten ton truck being driven by a ten ton evil guy but all it took to make me feel that way was her hand, lightly touching my bruised face. And then she almost whispered it, her voice cracking a little. “I’m so sorry Faith. I never meant to hurt you.”
Told you man, freaky stuff is happening to me lately.
Five by five.