August 2000
Okay so I’m just gonna say it. Just so we’re
clear. So there is no confusion when we do a head count to check who’s on
the bus home.
I’m in love with the Slayer.
LOVE
Yeah you heard me right.
I’m in love with her.
That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.
Just wanted to clear that up.
Five by five.
August 2000
Well I’m back on full Slayer duty. Been kinda
slack lately cos of the whack to my head and the whack to my heart when B
held me so close. Got too much to be around her for awhile there. Not ready
for the Slay-and-Show down at Sunny Memorial with her in those tight pants
she wears, babbling on the way she does. I guess you could say I pulled a
sicky. Even rang in my excuse to Giles at the Magic Shop so I wouldn’t have
to face her and the rest of the Scooby’s. They’re concerned for me now, but
not in the wiggy, Faith has gone mental again way like before. I mean they
got genuinely concerned over my health and that was a trip I sure as shit
couldn’t deal with a week ago. Little Dawnie even made me a get well card
that I found shoved through my door one morning when I woke up. It has this
cute chick in black with a stake in her hand on the front of it, I think its
meant to be a drawing of me.
What is it with the Summers girls ability to
make me smile?
So I could be all dark and brooding Faith,
hanging around Sunnydales answer to the Bates Motel and only going out for
a fresh carton of OJ and some Taco’s or I could get five-by-five again and
work off some of this excess grrr down at Vamp central, plus there’s still
that pesky demon hanging around and boy do I owe him a world of pain for what
happened to me last week. Yeah, time for me to deal I figured so I called
round for B earlier this evening to see if she wanted to come out and play.
Even brought extra stakes along with me as I was in need of a good workout.
And I think I hid my disappointment well when Mrs S came to the door and told
me the Slayer had gone out with Army Boy for the night. I was something like,
“Oh sure, that’s cool. Whatever, Mrs S. Check you later.” You know, not using
words with more than one syllable in them so she thinks that I’m more of a
dumbass than Xander. Gotta give the lady credit though, she asked me how I
was doing and offered me some tea. Not that I would have taken her up on it,
but it was you know, sweet of her to offer. Wouldn’t have expected that much
from her a while back, it kinda threw me. Or maybe it was the rage I began
to feel inside when she told me B had thought it was far more important to
play at cheerleader with her jock boyfriend rather than rid this town of some
of the less than friendly things that come out at night. Slayer duty seems
to lose its importance when it comes to getting smoochies as Red calls it.
Fine then. I’ll go slay on my own I think and
tried not to storm off the Summers front porch like some spoilt kid who’s
just been told they can’t have their ball back to play with.
And besides, being on my own has always been the deal right? Hell before I came here I was dusting my own clothes down after slaying and never needed anyone to hold my hand at night. What should be so different now? Do me good I thought as I made my way to the cemetery, to get all Lone Ranger on some demon’s ass for awhile, let B have a life. I’ll stake enough vamps for the both of us!
And besides, being on my own has always been the deal right? Hell before I came here I was dusting my own clothes down after slaying and never needed anyone to hold my hand at night. What should be so different now? Do me good I thought as I made my way to the cemetery, to get all Lone Ranger on some demon’s ass for awhile, let B have a life. I’ll stake enough vamps for the both of us!
Thing is I remember now why I’d got used to
having her around when I’m staking out the tombstones, waiting for the next
chump to rise. Slayer time is lonely time when you don’t actually have an
e.t.a on your next vamp’s arrival. And after all the me-time I’ve been clocking
lately, a night ahead of me with only the voices I have in my head keeping
the conversation going was not a pleasant situation to be in. At least when
she was with me I could sneak looks at her, and rag on her for never taking
a breath in between sentences.
Having her around always silences the dark
thoughts I get inside somewhere, and I know its a raw deal really cos even
though she silences those thoughts she brings on a whole heap of other ones.
Not quite as dark but just as hopeless. They start with me noticing her ass
when she vaults into action and leaves me breathless at the sight, then they
move up a notch when she laughs at one my jokes when its gone quiet again
and I turn into Entertaining-Buffy-Faith, catch her act, she’s here all week.
The worst thoughts of all are when I catch her watching me, when I think I
see a look in her eyes that I remember seeing a long time ago in a different
face, but a face that held feelings for me all the same. And sometimes I know
I catch the same look in her eyes, or is that just me being all hopeful and
optimistic like Red, or even like B is most of the time? Oh who the fuck cares
anyway? She was out with that bastard and I was kicking the dirt around my
feet alone in the cemetery.
Bet Xena never had this trouble.
Just when I’m gonna give up for the night,
and swing by the Magic Shop to pound the walls or something in the training
room to get rid of this buzzing in my muscles I get lucky and two vamps rise
right before me. Cool, synchronise your watches or what? I smile at them,
my ‘I’m gonna have fun dusting your skanky butts’ smile and I walk over to
them. I feel the need for some serious wailing here, after all B hasn’t been
here to bring me some light to the darkness inside so I’m all with the Bad
Slayer rep I only bring out when I’m on my own.
“Hello boys”
I’ve surprised them, guess they didn’t expect
a welcoming party of one hot chick who looks like she is having the worlds
worse case of PMS
“Who are you?” The lanky one in some lame suit
his mom probably had waiting for him for his high school graduation looked
at me as if I were the one with fangs and some wicked creases on my forehead.
“Tell me boys, are you the religious type?”
They both looked at each other, man vamps look
so stupid when they’re confused.
“Well, you are about to get a little bit of
Faith!”
I kicked out with my right leg and straight
away the lanky one went down. The bigger vamp, but not by much was startled
for like a minute and I punched him in the face, his nose exploding on my
fist as I did it.
“Eweggh gross!” I kneed him in the stomach
and then brought it up to his jaw. CRUNCH! I heard his vamp teeth break off,
that’s gotta hurt I smirked to myself. He was down and out of it for now and
I returned my gaze to the other one. Just in time to see his skanky lanky
ass hot-footing it out there. Man, one thing I hate is a cowardly vampire!
I dropped down to one knee beside the vamp who’s face was looking more like
one of those weird mangled portraits I remember seeing on a school trip to
the Museum of Modern Art back in Boston.
“Hey you don’t look so good” I punched him
in the chest this time, loosening the ribs in there and he wheezed out a big
glob of spit and blood from his broken jaw.
“Now do you see what happens when you don’t
brush your teeth properly” Another hard punch across his face and I dislodged
an eye. Okay so I think I’ve freaked myself out now I remember thinking. I’m
wailing a little too hard, when she would probably have staked this guy and
moved on. Thinking of that brought B back into my mind and that rage I felt
at her house earlier on when she wasn’t there came flooding back. Suddenly
the vamp on the floor, blood gushing everywhere but still no closer to being
dust, is not a vamp at all but its Army Boy. And I’m not letting the blows
stop, I’m not holding the punches back. I’m thinking of how he holds her,
touches her and kisses her, how he gets to have happy B when I get the Slayer-Powered
version who always has some big bad on her mind when we go out at night looking
for a fight. My hands have started to bruise on the bones that are poking
out this guy’s dead flesh, and I’m covered in blood. This is going to be a
bitch to get, leather costs so much to get it cleaned. One final outburst
when I thought again of how Army Boy called me a whore in the Magic Shop and
didn’t know I was up on the top landing getting a book for Giles hearing every
word he said drip with loathing. And that was it, there wasn’t much left to
turn to dust of the vampire that had been in the wrong place at the wrong
time. I staked him and I watched him go. The ground beneath him was a deep
red colour, the dust making swirly patterns a shrink would have a field day
asking me what I saw in them.
I got up, and I remember wiping the blood off
my hands on a nearby tombstone. When I got back here it took me ten minutes
to wash that blood off properly.
Yeah definitely on full Slayer Duty I reckon.
Issues Giles? No I don't think I have any issues
to deal with.
Everything is...
...Five by five.