'As The Set Turns': The Speed of Candy
*Sarah and Eliza are standing just off set waiting for their scene*
Eliza: *looks incredulously at Sarah* Oh-My-God! What are you wearing? They do realise you're Buffy right?
Sarah: *picks at the huge crochet rabbit stitched on her top* I was rude to that Bee-atch in wardrobe yesterday. I think she gave me something from the Season 2 Willow rail.
Eliza: *Looks horrified* Well just don't stand too close to me, I don't want any of that thing leaking across onto Faith, k?
Sarah:WHATever!
Eliza: Right, 'wicked cool! Wicked B, bite me, ooo girlfriend, five by five'..blah blah blah. Well, I've got my lines sorted.
Sarah: Wow, you should get an Oscar Dushku. *pretends to wipe tears away* That moved me, really.
Eliza: How am I meant to work with this stuff? Give me a break, and as for moved to tears there is only one movement I get when I listen to Buffy blabbing on. 'Oh Angel/Farmboy/whoever, we can't be together it's so wrong, no Faith we can't it's naughty, bad, wrong, bad, wrong, bad, wrong'... jeez, that girl needs to chill.
Sarah: I don't write it! If I had my way we'd be on a 'want, take, have' rampage through the streets of SunnyHell.
Eliza: *starts filing her nails*
Sarah: Whatcha doin'?
Eliza: Why do you always ask me what I'm doin' when it's really obvious?'
Sarah: Trying to make conversation.
Eliza: Don't. Go and sit down somewhere and be quiet. I'm trying to get into character.
Sarah: By filing your nails?
Eliza: Yes by filing my nails! Faith does file her nails, she needs short ones in her line of work.
Sarah: Yeah, bet she does.
Eliza: Bite me Gellar.
Sarah: I remember you saying something like that last night.
Eliza: *Goes wide eyed then whispers* Could you SAY that louder?
Sarah: *Shouts* I REMEMBER YOU SAYING SOMETHING LIKE ...
*Eliza slaps her hand over Sarah's mouth quickly*
Eliza: Did you have a double mocha again this morning? Now, I'm gonna take my hand away and you're gonna be quiet ok?
*Sarah nods*
Sarah: ...THAT LAST NIGHT!
Eliza: Right! That's it! That is IT!
*Alyson strolls up*
Alyson: Hey! What's all the shouting about?
Eliza: Finally, you interrupt at a good time! Gellar's wired on caffeine again.
Sarah: *Shrugs her shoulders*
Alyson: *makes a yikes face* I'm outta here then, she'll start pinching soon and my arms just recovered from the last time.
Sarah: *Puts her best 'innocent' face on*
*Alyson walks off quickly*
Eliza: Why do you put me through this Gellar? I mean what did I ever do to you?
Sarah: Breath, exist, share my trailer, and what is that about? I mean the show's BUFFY the Vampire Slayer right? Not Buffy and Faith the Vampire Slayers. This show is plural-less, yet I have to share my trailer with someone who can't even pick her panties up off the floor.
Eliza: Excuse me? Panties on the floor?
Sarah: *smiles a little* Yeah, found them yesterday. Gross Dushku!
Eliza: Sarah... note the usage of first names here, I don't wear panties. YOU should know that.
Sarah: Oh...
Eliza: Whose panties were they? *looks really pissed off*
Sarah: *looks at cuticles that have suddenly become very interesting* Huh?
Eliza: *Hands on hips* Whose panties where they?
Sarah: Must've been mine. Mix up, sorry!
Eliza: *Starts to seethe* Really? Your panties?
Sarah: Yeah, mine. *looks round panicking* Look! Donuts! Bagsie the jelly ones!
*Sarah runs off to the food table*
Eliza: We can both play THAT game Gellar!
*Eliza stomps over to Amber*
Amber: *looks nervously at Eliza * Um... Hi!
Eliza: *Strokes a hand down Amber's chest* Oh, I like this top, looks really good on ya Amb.
Amber:*Goes all wide eyed and starts looking round for Alyson* Oh... um, thank you.
*Sarah looks over at Eliza and Amber and storms over to them, her mouth covered in sugar*
Sarah: *Shouts at Amber* Hey! Get your own girlfriend! *Pauses* I mean, um...
Amber:*tearful* It's her hand! ALYSON??!!!
*Alyson runs over to the ensuing fight*
Alyson: Get your own girlfriend Dushku!
Eliza: Does anyone else sense deja vu here?
*Alyson hugs Amber, placing little kisses on the top of her head*
Alyson: It's ok baby, I wont let nasty Eliza hurt you.
*Amber and Alyson walk off hand in hand*
Sarah: Now you freaked Amber out again, what is it with you anyway?
Eliza: Nothing. *pouts*
Sarah: Dushku, you're jealous!
Eliza: As if I'd be jealous of anything to do with you!
Sarah: Hah! Green eyed monster. Doesn't suit your colouring!
Eliza: Everything looks good on this body Gellar. Whose panties where they?
Sarah: Do we have to talk about this now? I'm trying to get into character.
Eliza: Why don't I kick your ass, that should help you feel more 'Buffy'.
Sarah: Don't make me go and get Freddie!
Eliza: That fruit? Pur-lease! He'd be even easier to bitch slap than you.
Sarah: That's my fiancé you're insulting!
Eliza: Your point and I'm sure you don't have one is?
Sarah: *Thinks* Um... well DON'T!
Eliza: Whose panties?
Sarah: God, dog with a bone!
Eliza: I gotta bone alright, but you know that already. Whose panties?
Sarah: *Giggles* No-ones, really...
Eliza: What? You were yankin' my chain? You fucker! *slaps Sarah in the arm*
Sarah: Admit it, you dig me! *Moves over to Eliza, pouts and looks up through her eyelashes* You got all mad...!
Eliza: *Slides her hand up Sarah's arm slowly* Maybe a little...
*They both move in closer to kiss*
Alyson: You two finished argu... OH!
Eliza and Sarah: ALYSON!!!
Alyson: What?
Eliza: *Looks at Sarah* We have to right? I mean she's got it coming...
Sarah: I love ya Aly but it has to be done.
*Eliza and Sarah grab hold of Alyson and carry her kicking and screaming over to the onset stunt pool that's filled with orange coloured goo and throw her in*
Eliza: *Brushes her hands off* That was the closure I needed.
Sarah: You wanna come back to the trailer and check my panty situation out? *flirty smile*
Eliza: *Fans her face* Well someone should check, guess I can do it for ya... just 'cause we're friends and all.
Sarah: Friends? Never had a friend like this before. *laughs*
*Sarah and Eliza walk off quickly to their shared trailer sure in the knowledge that at least Alyson wont be able to interupt this time