Shake and Bake-As the Set Turns Series

Sarah: *shouts* Does anyone have a trowel so I can put this make up on a bit easier?

Eliza: I think Charisma's got one, how else do you explain her 'look' off set. I swear she's going to have back problems with the amount of foundation she wears.

Sarah: Talking about back problems...

Eliza: DON'T SAY IT! I knew as soon as I mentioned it you'd be all over THAT one.

Sarah: It was such an easy 'in' though.

Eliza: SOOO whatever!

Sarah: Sorry Cordy.

Eliza: *Turns around in only her bra and leathers holding up two tops for Sarah's opinion* Ok, do you think I should go with 'Grrrr... come get me if you dare' OR 'Grrrr... come get me if you dare'?

Sarah: *Mouth agape*

Eliza: Hello? Top? Which one Gellar? Stop catching flies.

Sarah: I was dazzled by your diverse fashion choices. Um... the blue one, it'll match the bruises Buffy makes when she kicks Faith's ass again.

Eliza: *rolls her eyes* Really? Kicks Faith's ass so well she almost killed one of your lays and purred her way through a whole scene with the other one. B should get over her inner homophobia and leave the boys behind, not that she can keep a single one...

Sarah: Excuse me, Miss Shake and Bake, Buffy keeps them just fine! How's farmhand Riley meant to know he was sleeping with SlayerSlut?

Eliza: I don't know? Maybe the fact that she feel asleep half way through? How does B do it? Never get sweaty near cardboard characters, the dangers should be obvious.

Sarah: Buffy liked him.

Eliza: *laughs* Well THAT explains a lot.

Sarah: God! Can't you get your own trailer and leave me alone!

Eliza: I COULD, but then my day would be incomplete... anyway the only reason you stay awake on set is 'cause you get to check me out everytime we come back in here to change.

Sarah: Me check YOU out? You do realise that Buffy and Faith are totally fictitious characters don't you Dushku? Although by the looks of what you turned up wearing today I'm thinking 'method actress' and discount coupons for 'Whore's Shopping Emporium'.

Eliza: *looks down at her tight leather trousers and push up bra* I could take that as an insult but then I look at you and realise that as you have NO sense of fashion I should 'consider the source' and just ignore.

Sarah: You are more annoying than that Vampire dwarf woman with one arm who we had in here yesterday. I mean, how do you make conversion with someone you keep tripping over?

Eliza: I think you should have ended at 'how do you make conversion?' Your social skills are lacking Gellar.

Sarah: This coming from Miss 'Hi, my name's Eliza Dushkoooooo, here are my breasts, pleased to meet you'

Eliza: Jealous much?

Sarah: One dimensional much?

Eliza: You want me, face it. Nothing to be ashamed of. I can understand your pain, having to sit round some foxy chick all day and only being able to look not touch.

Sarah: I get to punch your lights out everytime on set, that's enough.

Eliza: Now who's confusing Sarah and Buffy. Not real remember. BUFFY gets to try and punch FAITH out.

Sarah: YOU'RE MAKING MY HEAD THROB!

Eliza: Bet that's not all I'm making throb, baby.

Sarah: *Totally speechless*

Eliza: I knew it! You sex machine you. I'm hard to resist I know.

Sarah: *throws script at Eliza* Shut up, I can control myself just fine. Not that there is anything TO control.

Eliza: Yeah, just keep telling yourself that and maybe in some twisted 'Gellar' reality it'll turn into the truth.

Sarah: *Shuts her eyes and covers her ears* LA LA LA LA ... not listening! La la la la! Can't hear you!

Eliza: *Looks on amazed* Willow? Is that you? *laughs*

Sarah: La la la la... Still can't hear you!

Eliza: If you don't stop that I'm gonna come over there and do something that neither of us is gonna regret.

Sarah: *pauses, opens her eyes and smiles* La... la... la... I'm... not... listening.

Eliza: *sexy smile as she slowly walks towards Sarah* Really?

Sarah: *grinning* Nope, Can't hear you...

*Eliza walks up to Sarah and stands so close to her that their bodies are touching*

Eliza: *Purrrrrs* You sure?

Sarah: *Breathing heavily* Yeah... not listening.

Eliza: You want me to make you listen, baby?

Sarah: *Said in a pleading tone* Please...

*Alyson bursts through trailer door*

 

Alyson: Hey, do you know where Amber is? We have some...um, stuff to practice.

Eliza and Sarah simultaneously: ALYSON!?

Alyson: *Innocent face* What? What did I do now?

Sarah: Do you listen at the door for the MOST inopportune moment then burst in?

Eliza: And the award for the actress with 'Shitiest timing' goes to... *pretends to read an envelope* Oh, Aly it's YOU! *fake glee* Here's your prize! *Eliza balls her hand up into a fist*

 

*Sarah grabs her script and goes to walk out the door dragging Aly quickly with her*

 

Sarah: *Glances back at Eliza* I'm sure whatever we were doing can wait ''til later.

Eliza: It's the waiting that makes it so good. *winks at Sarah*