Title: Close Your Eyes
Author: Rubber_Soul
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to S4
Disclaimer: Not mine.  All belong to Joss.  I'm merely playing. 
Dedication: To last minute cramming.  Best way to revise!  *g* 
Authors Note: Ok, this is kind of a partner piece to Solitude, though you don't have to have read that for this to make sense.  All from Faith's POV.  I hadn't planned on writing this but a combination of insomnia and better than expected exam results led to this.  Lucky/unlucky you.  It's another short one.  It's not beta'd and it's 2.30am so forgive any mistakes.
 
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Close your eyes.  Imagine.  Dream.  Remember.  You'll never be alone.
 
Always the same words.  They were all it took to take the last lingering images of the nightmare away.  All it took to get her to sleep peacefully again.  That was a long time ago.  The sound of her mom's voice when she had woken from a bad dream.  Always soothing.  Always made everything better.
 
Close your eyes.  Focus.  Listen.  Feel.  You'll never be blind.
 
Different time, different place, different person.  No longer the little girl who could be convinced that the nightmares weren't real by the sound of one voice.  Hard to hear that one voice over all the others that are crying out because the nightmare is a reality.  No longer able to believe that things don't go bump in the night.  Hard to miss when you fight them every day.  In reality and then later, when the lights are out and it's only you and your mind.  Knowing that even though these creatures from the nightmares exist, you can fight them.  You can do it because someone believes in you.  Teaches you how to survive.  You do it because you won't get lost.  Not when someone is there to show you the way.  That was a long time ago.  Having a watcher to point you in the right direction.  To make sure you never got lost.
 
Close your eyes.  Believe.  Trust.  Share.  You'll never be beaten.
 
Three of the hardest things to ever do.  To open yourself completely.  To risk getting hurt.  To risk it all and have everything come crumbling down around you because you did just that.  To lose it all in the blink of an eye.  To lose it all because of one misjudgement.  To trust the wrong person.  To believe what they said.  Then be crushed by their betrayal.  Destroying the ability to let someone else in.  Preventing you from trusting the right person.  The person who you can believe.  The person who shares a lot of the same feelings and thoughts.  Losing Buffy over her first mistake.  Certainly not the first but definitely the first.   
 
Close your eyes.  Act.  Follow.  Let go.  You'll never be forgotten.
 
Never be forgotten.  Never be forgiven.  Actions always speak louder than words.  Those were deafening.  More mistakes.  Every second getting more lost in the darkness.  No longer knowing which way to turn.  So many voices.  Yelling.  Screaming.  Asking for help.  Hard to tell which is your own.  No longer knowing who you are.  Following the wrong path as it is the only one you can see.  Never being able to make up for her actions with the mayor.  Never being able to say sorry.
 
Close your eyes.  Block.  Hide.  Run.  You'll never be at peace.
 
Time is a strange entity.  Eight months can feel like nothing and forever at the same time.  So much can change and yet feelings remain the same.  To wake up and not know what day it is.  To wake up and not know where you are.  To wake up alone.  Your mind repeating the same images and scenes over and over.  Being trapped no matter how far you run.  No matter how fast.  Knowing you can never escape your own memories.
 
Close your eyes.  Alone.  Blind.  Beaten.  You'll always be afraid.
 
There's a time in the night.  After lights out, when it's so quiet.  You can believe you are the only one there.  Forget where you are.  Forget there are bars on all the windows and doors.  Forget you can't just leave.  It is at this time that the real horrors surface.  Your only company is your mind.  The knowledge that you won't be forgiven no matter how many nights you spend fighting the demons.  Knowing that you'll never be at peace.  Never be able to just close your eyes without the images.  The memories. The fear.
 
Open your eyes.  Staring out into the night sky.  Wishing that everything you had once believed was still true.  Wishing that you could just close your eyes...but knowing that the demons are waiting in the dark.