Title: A Dream Within A Dream
Author: Sarah
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimers: They're really mine, but you all were just tricked into
thinking they belonged to Joss? *coughs* Really, I swear I'm telling the
truth. *pauses* Anyone believe me? *hopeful look*
Notes: This is the sequel to Is It Love. It might be confusing, but I'm
trying to have it make as much sense as possible, really. The title is the name of the poem used in the beginning.
Summary: Set after Graduation II, Faith wakes up from a coma, and is unsure of what reality actually is.
Dedications: To Miss Kitty for giving me some ideas for this chapter in her FB to me. :-D

And of course to Anne. *bows* Here's your chapter princess. Now quit being so damn impatient.. *laughs*
*******

When I wake up the next morning the first thing I notice is that I'm still in Cordelia's bed. The second thing I notice is that Cordelia is in my arms. Wasn't I in hers when I went to sleep? I look down at her, sleeping so peacefully in my arms. Wait, didn't I have clothes on when I went to sleep? Thats when it clicks.

"Doll, wake up," I gently chide as I nudge C awake.

I feel her arms tighten around me as she starts to stir, and as I expected, when she woke up she didn't jump away from me. I'm home! It was just a dream. I let out a long sigh and Cordelia looks up at me, confused and I just shake my head at her before pressing my lips firmly to hers. After a few seconds she relaxes into the kiss and I can feel her tongue probing for enterance into my mouth. I open my mouth for her, sliding my tongue out along hers as I pull her closer to me.

"Wake up with a bad case of the hornies?" she jokes as she pulls away from me. I can't help but laugh at that as I pull her in for another deep kiss. She moves her body on top of mine and I realize that she too is naked. I
moan into her mouth as we kiss, and I briefly wondered what happened last
night to get us naked in bed together. Thats when I panic and pull away from her.

As soon as she notices the look in my face she shoots me a quizzical look.
"I... This isn't a dream is it?" She just stares at me with a blank look as if I've lost my mind, and at this point I'm not even sure if I've lost my mind or not. "I had a dream that you hated me, everyone hated me."

"It was just a dream," she says as she looks deeply into my eyes. I'm still not exactly convinced, but at this point I don't care. "I love you Faith, always," she whispers as she once again lays claim to my mouth. Losing my train of thought I kiss her back with as much passion as I have inside me and pull her body down fully against my own.

I feel her leg sliding between my thighs, pushing against my center and all coherent thoughts are lost as she moves her mouth down to the nape of my neck. As her tongue glides across my neck she gently nips at my skin with her teeth and I arch my head back to get more contact, closing my eyes to enjoy the sensations.

As soon as my eyes shut a picture flashes into my mind. It's me shooting an arrow at Angel. I jerk a little and open my eyes to find that Cordelia is now moving her mouth lower, and as I feel her tongue sliding over oneof my taut nipples my eyes involantarily shut again, and I get another flash. B stabbing me with a knife. I groan at the vision, but Cordelia still doesn't stop as she moves farther south, her tongue dipping into my belly button before she moves to my center, sliding her tongue out to taste me. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from closing my eyes again, but when her tongue slides into me I can't help it and I let out a moan and close my eyes again. And then it all comes flooding to me.

While Cordelia makes love to me everything the other Cordelia said to me
becomes clear, from being the bad girl, to turning on B and our fight on my roof. I feel sick to my stomach and I try to reach for Cordelia, to stop her but I can't seem to move. I can't feel anything other than my girlfriend's tongue moving inside of me. After a few more minutes I feel myself climaxing and I cry out her name as I fly into obvlivion, breathing heavily as a million memories hit me in a matter of seconds.

****

When my breathing slows down I force my eyes open but things have changed
once again. I'm alone in bed, fully clothed. What the fuck is going on? "C!"
I call out into the empty room, panic washing over me as I jump from the
bed. I'm covered in sweat and pull the shirt off and throw it onto the
floor. This isn't my shirt! This isn't my Cordelia's house and this isn't my world!

Cordelia comes rushing into the room and looks at me as if I've gone nuts.
At this point I seriously think I have. "What the hell are you doing?" she snaps at me and I realize that I was only dreaming about being back with my Cordy. But what of all those memories? Oh God, she wasn't lying. I really did those things, didn't I?

"This is really happening isn't it? I'm really a killer, aren't I?" I
whisper as I give her a pathetic look. She keeps her distance and only nods at me. I fall to my knees and just start beating the ground, wondering why this is happening to me. "I remember it all. I had a dream, and I was back with my Cordelia. How did all that happen? I can't make sense of this. Was that all a dream?" I ask pitifully.

Cordelia moves over a little closer to me, but I can feel the fear radiating off of her. "Don't," I say harshly. I look up at her and note her confusion.
"Don't touch me. I'm evil remember? I only hurt the things I touch. I love you to much to hurt you any more than I apparently already have."

"I'm afraid that all you knew before was a dream. You and I were never
lovers Faith, we weren't even friends. After you fought with Buffy you ended up in a coma. You've been there for the last few months, until last night when you ended up here. You never really did much to me, maybe that's why I let you in. But I believe you, so here's what I offer. You promise not to go psycho, I'll help you get your life back together, if you want."

"Why are you willing to do that? You don't even like me. And I don't need
your goddamn pity."

I watch her shrug as I say that and stand up to leave but her hand grabs my arm. "You talk in your sleep you know. I heard a lot of things, things you'd probably never say to anyone out loud. I know your sorry for what you did, even if you don't exactly remember it all yet. If you walk out of here, there's no one that's going to help you but me. It's your choice, but don't be too damn stubborn to refuse my help. It's the only help you'll get, and I'm the only person in this town that gives a good goddamn about you."

I take a second to let her words all sink in and I realize just how true
what she's saying is. I'm in no condition to be roaming around town alone
when I dont even know which was is up. And did she just say she cares about me? "C?" I question softly as she takes her hand off my arm. "Whether any of that was real or not, whether we ever made love or dated or anything in this reality. I still love you. If you can accept that, then I'll accept your offer of help."

"I'll deal with it, You never know, when your memory fully comes back you
might realize you really aren't in love with me," she offered. I suppose she was trying to cheer me up some, I'm not really sure.

"I don't get it though. You never cared about anyone other than yourself.
Why me of all people?"

She gives me a small smile at that question and I can feel my knees gonig
weak at that alone and I know that no matter what happens, or what reality I have to face, she is the one for me. "Lets just say that at some point last night the ice bitch thawed out some. You should consider this an honor," she teases and I can't help but smile back. Now this is like my Cordelia.

I bow down and smile at her, for the first time feeling a little hopeful
about things and smile at her. "It's the greatest honor, your highness." I laugh as she swats at my arm and stand straight up again. When I look up at her I see her just looking into my eyes, almost as she's searching them for something. I feel awkward under her gaze but I don't take my eyes from her and finally she breaks out into a wide grin. "What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"Huh? Why were you looking at me like that?" I ask, extremly confused.

"Like what?" she questions back, and I get the feeling she's confused as
well and I can't help but laugh. But before I get the chance to explain to her what I was talking about my stomach growls, cutting off any more of that conversation. "Let's get some food into you. I know you, and I know you need to eat at least ten times a day."

"You know me huh?" I reply as she takes my hand into hers and begins to lead me to the kitchen.

"Well I know your always hungry and horny," she responds with a smile. "But I'd like to get to know the rest of you," she add softly.

"I suppose we'll have to work on that then."

"I suppose so," she laughs as we get into the kitchen. And in that moment I knew that no matter how much work I had to do to be okay again, or how
confused I was there was only one thing that mattered. And that was that I get Cordelia to love me. Nothing else seemed to matter much to me anymore. So for the first time in my life, or at least in what I remembered of it, I actually felt hopeful for something and had something to look forward to.

Taking one more glance at the ex cheerleader I knew that I had finally made a good decision on something. She was the one for me, and even if I had dreamt it all, there had to be at least some truth to it. One day, I know I'll get her to love me too. And for now, that was good enough for me.

TBC...