Disclaimers: Joss owns Buffy and Faith, not me. I make no claims. I do own Discord.
Comments: I am trying not to get angsty, but PMT is looming, guys.
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 19.12.01
Title: It was suggested by Miss X, aka God. It's from a song by Scratching Post. They own it, not me!
 
Discord's POV  

Slayers Do Christmas XIII - Wake Up, You're On Fire!

 
Great, do you know where you're going, Dis?
No, that's it, storm out the apartment and end up wandering round, looking like a freak.
I should've called her, to be polite and all.
Why do I always pick ones that aren't available?
The good ones I never want, the bad ones I always get, and the straight ones I fall for too hard.
I sit down under a tree, in some park I've managed to find, and people watch.
I like doing this, can zone out totally.
Sometimes if I concentrate on one static thing long enough, I can waste a couple of hours, just in my thoughts.
I start to focus on a tree, not too far away.
Maybe this way I can get her out of my head.
 
'Xe... Discord?'
 
What?
I look round and see; Buffy Summers.
Guess she can take my mind of everything instead.
Although if she calls me Xena one more time I'm going to show her it's not just my face that's like her.
 
'Hey.'
 
'So, look, I'm just going to say it, before I babble into a corner, which I do alot, so we want to avoid that, right? Babbling's counter-productive so, oh, I'm already doing it, damn! I'm sorry for what I said to you before, I got the wrong end of things, totally. I...'
 
I interrupt her, and pat the ground next to me.
She just stares at me.
 
'Thought that was the international signal for 'sit down', Buffy. Does Sunnydale do it differently?'
 
'Sit down? Oh, sorry. Right, sit down.'
 
She gets down next to me, stretches her legs out, then crosses them, then puts some puzzled face on and stretches them out again.
 
'I bet you can't sit still for five minutes, can you?'
 
'I'll have you know, Xe... I mean, Discord, that I've been known to sit still for over ten minutes, and all of those minutes in a row.'
 
'I bow to your superior skills at being still then.'
 
I lean into the tree a bit more and watch some people playing frisbee.
 
'What are you looking at?'
 
She's like the God damn Energiser bunny.
 
'Nothing, just... looking at nothing.'
 
'Discord, I was...'
 
'Dis, don't like the full name, I sound like an un-tuned piano. Go on.'
 
'Oh, right, sorry. So, Dis, have you seen Faith today?'
 
Smooth, Buffy, real smooth.
Saw that one coming about ten seconds after you strolled up.
 
'Today? Yeah.'
 
'Oh, is she, um, feeling ok?'
 
'Yeah.'
 
'Good. Just wondering, because there's some nasty flu going round Sunnydale and I didn't want her catching it.'
 
Flu?
You gotta be kidding, this place is the funniest.
 
'She was feeling fine last time I saw her, Buffy.'
 
'Last time? When was that? Because this flu can be pretty fast acting. If you saw her a few hours ago, she might be all sniffly by now.'
 
'The best way to find something out is to actually ask it. Unless you really do need to know if she's got the flu.'
 
I turn and face her and she looks as if she's going to cry.
Well done, Dis, you spaz.
Freak the girl out some more why don't you.
 
'We had a... well we didn't, we...'
 
'You had a? Wow, no wonder she's in some pissy mood then. I get all moody when I have a, as well.'
 
'Sorry, a row, except not a row. We didn't row. Just we did, sort of.'
 
Ok, this is doing my head in.
 
'What?'
 
'I think I started guilt tripping her, you know? I didn't mean to. I think I have some unresolved anger, Dis. Wow, that sounded intelligent. I've been watching a lot of Jerry and Ricki lately. Should I be saying this to you? Probably not, just... I think I need some tips.'
 
Yeah, obviously.
 
'Tips, and you're asking me? What sort of tips?'
 
'Just on how to, I don't know, deal with her. Not deal with her, that's wrong. Sometimes I can't figure her out. One minute she's all happy to see me and the next she's storming out. Ok, not storming, she sort of walked out, slowly, but I could feel she wanted to storm.'
 
'The world according to Faith, is that what you want to know, Buffy?'
 
'Maybe; I need something! I don't want things to screw up again, and I think they could.'
 
You asked for it.
 
'Let me tell you some stuff abut Faith, Buffy. Just sit and listen though, no interrupting, ok?'
 
She nods her head and gets comfortable.
 
'Faith hasn't had it easy. Like, not one single bit easy. She's probably told you some of it, well take what she told you and times it by ten, because I bet she gave you the sanitised version. She's not really a talker, more a doer, but I think you know all that by now. Talking isn't something that comes easy for her. You have to hang in there; hang in there and keep things steady. She needs someone who's going to be stable for her. I'm pretty sure that's someone like you. Are you serious about her?'
 
'Very.'
 
'You know, when she turned up at mine in LA she was a mess. She didn't talk to me at all for three days. Just sat and looked out the window all day, totally zoned out, man. Wouldn't eat, wouldn't do anything. I don't know what you did exactly but you fucked her up for a while back there and...'
 
'I didn't mean to.'
 
'Maybe you didn't, but it still had the same effect. Now she has to learn to trust you again. You know, when I was growing up we used to have this feral cat that hung out on the farm. I'd sit out back and do my homework everynight and try and get close to her. In the beginning she wouldn't let me near, she'd see me coming and run off. I'd sit on the porch and throw her scraps of food. After six months or so, she let me get near enough to see the color of her eyes. Another three months of doing this every day and she started taking the food from my hand. I was real patient with her. Never forced anything, let her do everything at her own pace, you know? Then one day, I hadn't seen her for weeks, I was kinda getting worried. Anyway, she sort of strolled up to me and sat about a foot away, stretched out and started cleaning her paws. She was totally comfortable with me, because she knew I wasn't going to hurt her or try and do anything that would freak her out. That was a day I'll always remember. Do you know what I'm saying to you?'
 
'I need to give her space and be there for her?'
 
'Yeah, should have condensed it all down in to that sentence really, shouldn't I?'
 
She laughs and I pick my smokes up and light one.
 
Manners, Dis.
You been on your own too long, girl.
 
'Sorry, do you want one? I always forget stuff like this. I'm not around people enough to remember all the manners stuff.'
 
She waves me off and starts picking at the grass round us.
 
'What was Faith like as a kid? She doesn't talk about it a lot.'
 
Don't get me started on this one, 'cause it's not something you want to hear.
Not a nice set of stories, let me tell you.
Keep it concise.
 
'Faith as a kid? Young.'
 
She laughs and pokes me in the side.
I do my 'I'm teasing you' eyebrow thing, and get another poke.
Yeah, I can see why Faith digs her.
 
'Ok, you want more than young? Tough, she was tough, shit, she had to be. Her mom was a fuck up, her dad was never there. She looked out for herself. We lived too far away for me to take care of her.'
 
'Is that why she's so... I don't know, guarded? I don't even know if that's the right word.'
 
'Guarded? I guess. She likes you though, Buffy. You just have to remember that.'
 
'Should I keep repeating it in my head everytime she walks off and won't talk to me?'
 
'If it makes you feel better, go for it! Sorry, I'm in a weird mood. With Faith, you have to remember that you can't treat her like normal people. Ok, I'm not saying she's not normal, she is, and I love her to bits. Just. God, I don't even know if I can explain it. She takes rejection harder than most. She's always looking out for it, it's like she expects it, like she thinks she deserves it. You need to understand that. You show her anything that she can interpret as you backing off from her and she'll try and get in there first, like she's trying to save her feelings or something. Man, I shouldn't be saying all this to you. She'll kill me, she will.'
 
'I won't tell her, I swear. I'm desperate!'
 
And she looks it as well.
Serious puppy dog eyes.
No wonder Faith's such a sucker for her.
 
'When it all boils down, you like Faith and she likes you. Give her some space, she gets down sometimes. She has a lot of shit to deal with.'
 
'From me?'
 
'Nah, nothing that specific. Just stuff. Be there for her, don't force anything and she'll be cool. One more thing, Buffy.'
 
Have I got your full attention?
Because I want you to remember this.
 
'You hurt her and I'll come looking for you.'
 
I look straight into her eyes but she doesn't turn away.
 
'I won't hurt her, anyway I can deal with you, I'm a Slayer.'
 
She's got a smile, but I know she didn't like what I said.
Can feel it.
It's cute that she has no idea.
Gives me the warm and fuzzies.
 
'And I'm something you don't even have words for. Just be careful with her, ok.'
 
I push myself up and start walking back to Faith's.
 
Lets hope I don't have to show you what I do for a living.