Disclaimers: Joss owns all the BTVS characters, not me. I make no claims to them. All hail him.
Me: I own Elle, Lucy, Discord et al.
Title: It's a misquote [somewhat] of a Christmas carol.
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 23.12.01
 
Lucy's POV
 
Slayers Do Christmas XXXII - Christmas Time, Mistletoe, Blood, Guts and Gore
 
'Bee? Who's our best, not a little one this time, I'm sick of losing them. What about Carrie? Oh, she fell into that volcano, didn't she. Suggestions, please?'
 
She looks back at me, blankly.
Did her brain fall out of her ears and I didn't notice?
No, her eyebrows just moved, she's still in there.
 
'Bee, anytime today, we only have today with the Dawn thing, Speed it up!'
 
Cretins, I'm surrounded by cretins.
 
'I'm trying to think of someone who... oh, I got it, Sha... no, wait, she's off in Australia dealing with that uprising. There's always, you know, her.'
 
'What? Oh, very good, she completely slipped my mind. Drag her out of cold storage then and fire that body of hers up. It's going to be a real grrrr of a fight, isn't it, Bee. Should we get corn dogs and bucket sized fizzies? You know, I love this sort of thing, really gets my juices flowing.'
 
'You're sure about her? She sort of flipped out last time we used her. Well, you have the scars to prove it, Luce.'
 
'True, file her nails down this time. Do I have to sign the release forms or have we got to be a paperless office yet?'
 
She walks up to me, and with a poof, a whole pile of paper and files appears in her hands.
 
'Microsoft's NT is crapping everything up. Set us back about four months with all the crashes, so there are a few forms you need to sign.'
 
My eyes go wide as she counts out twenty different forms for me to sign.
I need a potato stamp with my signature on it.
This bureaucracy is beginning to annoy me.
 
'Does it need to be in blood? If it does, Bee, roll a sleeve up will you?'
 
Her face falls as she does as I say and hands me a sharp metal tipped fountain pen.
 
'Grit those teeth, Bee, this will hurt, a lot!'
 
Faith's POV
 
I open my eyes, slowly, feel like I've got a steaming hangover.
Crap, man!
 
'Faith, are you ok? Don't move too much, let everything settle inside you.'
 
'Dis...?'
 
I feel like I've been slammed by a Mack truck.
Hold up, it was a mother fuckin' girl guide!
I push myself up and try to focus, everything's hazy.
 
'Faith, can you lie down, and do as you're told for once!'
 
'No, shut up, Dis. You better have some answers or I'm going to lose my temper with you!'
 
Ok, things are getting back into focus.
Dis is knelt in front of me, and Elle's behind her.
Why do I think this is not going to be good news?
 
'Spill it, and don't leave anything out, Dis. I mean it. What's going on?'
 
Dis looks at me, then Elle, takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly.
 
'Faith, meet God.'
 
'Elle's a God?!'
 
'No, Faith, Elle is God.'