Disclaimers: Joss owns all
BTVS characters, I own the rest. We make no cross claims.
Authors Comments: Short, easy,
fic? I'm incapable.
Title: Marilyn Manson owns
the song, not me. I do not claim to. I listen and admire, that's all.
Dedications: To Vicki, Steff
and Pebblin; they've all inspired certain parts of this fic.
Buffy's POV
Slayers Do Christmas
XXXIX - The Dope Show
'I can't believe you were going to sign your
soul over to the Devil, Faith!'
She opens her mouth, but I put my hand over
it, shutting her up.
I don't want to hear her, I'm still mad!
Ok, lots of mad, but lots of glad
we stopped her.
But mad's what I'm getting out of my system
right now.
'Did you forget to plug your brain in, Faith?
You can't side with the Devil!'
She pushes my hand off and pokes me in the
chest.
Think I've said the wrong thing again.
'I wasn't siding with Lucy, I
was trying to stop people from dying. Why is it, when I try and do a good
thing, I still get my ass chewed up?'
Enough mad, get with the glad, Buffy.
'I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but,
Faith, you would have been gone, forever. I know you were thinking of Dawn
and Dis but...'
'You to, I was doing this for you to.'
She crosses her hands over her chest and
hugs herself, crushing some poor branch under her boots.
And people think Faith's only out for herself.
Those people need shooting, or staking, or
slapping, really, really hard, with hands that have pointy nails.
'Ok, you're forgiven, but I mean it, you make
anymore pacts with Lucy that mean your soul moves away from mine,
and I'm so kicking your ass! I mean it, Faith. You'll be getting
a free one way ticket to Buffy's pain central, 'k?'
She smiles and leans over and kisses my cheek.
'My souls staying here with yours, B.'
Soulmates, see, I knew it, and now she does.
Buffy Summers work here is done.
'Buffy, Faith, care to join me at the battle
of century? Well, really the battle of the century was two years ago in Chicago,
and Discord kicked everyone's butt straight back to Hell, but let's pretend
that this is... oh, you know! Come on, walk this way. Which reminds
me, I must get Aerosmith's new cd.'
She clicks her finger and a huge, blue, portal
opens up, in front of us.
She walk's in and disappears.
Faith looks at me, takes my hand and leads
me towards the light.
Wish I'd remembered my shades.
Discord's POV
Shit, how'd I use this thing?
I start pressing buttons and a tiny portal
opens up in front of me.
Nah-uh, Dis, you'll transport your little finger,
and that won't get much skull crushing done, will it?
Ok, there!
The portal opens up and I step through, to
join Elle and the girls, in the arena of death.
Heads up people, Discord's here to show you
what fighting's all about!
Lucy's POV
'Bee, are they here yet? I'm getting bored
waiting... Oh, hold the front page, the good guys are here!'
Discord comes through the portal, closely followed
by Elle and the Slayerettes.
Well, I need to be shutting my jaw, or picking
it up off the floor, which ever comes first.
No wonder Elle likes Discord so much!
'Discord, my, my, you look good enough to...'
'Lucy!'
'Elle, don't you dare tell me you haven't thought
the same thing. Is this the standard issue uniform now, because if it is,
then we are going to be having battles every, single, day!'
She walks up and lowers her voice, slightly.
'Kind of risqué isn't it? Her own choice, not
standard issue, but I'm thinking of bringing it in for everyone. Now where's
your warrior, Lucy?'
'My warrior? Your talking to her.'
Her eyes go wide, and she takes a step back.
'Shock doesn't look as good on you as anger,
babe. I'd think about practising that expression in the mirror, if I was you.
Yes, me, I'm my champion! I'm so self centred I'd have to be.'
'But, my intelligence said you thawed out Destiny,
I don't understand.'
'We did, she went berserk and we had to transfer
her, she's working on getting that stupid man off TV who keeps annoying all
the animals, Steve 'Hey, look, it's a snake, let's pick it up and throw it
round even though it's asleep' Urwin. The complaints I've had about him. See,
I'm not all bad. I think of it as a public service. So, here I am, ready to
take Discord on. I'm even planning on changing into my Nike's for it.'
Has to be Nike's, they have such a wonderful
work policy in the third world.
The amount of child deaths they've been responsible
for, has made me buy shares in them.
And to think, I didn't have a hand in any of
their strategies!
Forward thinking, I can tell you.
I feel a poke in my ribs, and I turn my attention
to Elle, who looks pissed, to say the least, with the set up.
'Lucy, you can't be the Champion, you can't
die, Dizzy can, it's not fair.'
'I can see your point, but I really don't care.
Oh, leave the serious eyebrows out, Elle. Look, I'll be nice, if Discord delivers
a blow that would have killed one of my normal girls, then she's won, ok?'
'How will we know if it would have killed one
of your girls?'
'I'll tell you. Oh, alright, you can
judge, I know you're fair, it's one of your only flaws, babe. Which reminds
me, not sure why, but it does, you free on Friday? I've got tickets to see
the digitally remastered version of BrainDead. I love that film, genius director.'
'Can we get on with the battle, and I'll tell
you afterwards; if you're in one piece!'
'You're turning me on here, Elle, you are.
Grrrr! Ok, back in two shakes of a dead lambs tail. I need to get
changed, strap some weaponry on, you know, girls got to look nice when she's
out on the kill. Ciao!'
I pinch her cheek, give her my award winning
smile, and flash myself out of there, and into my walk in closet.
Now, what to chose?
Oh, something wipe clean, I think;
hate the way brains stick to anything that's not.