Disclaimers: Joss owns Faith,
Buffy and Dawn, not me. I make no claims to them. He rules.
Me: I own Discord, Elle, Lucy
and Bee. They're mine. Please do not steal them or I'll kill you.
Title: No Doubt own 'Big Distraction'
not me. What a song.
Dedication: To Buffy The Vampire
Slayer, without it, God knows what I'd be writing.
Buffy's POV
Slayers Do Christmas XLI [41] -
You're My Big Distraction, I'm Falling Fast, Like An Avalanche!
I move myself over to Dawn, just to make sure
she doesn't scoot over ringside, and try and get closer to the action.
She's clapping and cheering.
She so doesn't know what's going on
here, if she did the cheering would be a minimal.
One way to shut her up, Buffy.
I know she's a brat, but I still love her and
I'm not evil, so I'll let her think it's a TV programme or something.
'What?'
Now what have I done?
All I'm trying to be is a good sister, but
oh no, that can't be possible, can it?
'Nothing, I'm standing next to my sister, there's
no law against it, Dawn.'
'There should be.'
'Hey, scooby and scrappy, cut it out, my cuz
is down there, about to fight for her life over you girls, so lose the 'tude,
ok?!'
Sharp and stabbing point taken.
'Over us? Why's she fighting over us? Oh, don't
tell me, Slayer secret. Well it sucks! I don't know how you got a boyfriend
Buffy, he's got to be an idiot! Bet you don't share with him,
either.'
Boyfriend?
When did I get one of those?
Faith looks like she's going to punch me, or
something.
'Yeah B, how'd you get a boyfriend, you wanna
spill, always good to share you know.'
What is this; gang up on Buffy day?
'I don't have a boyfr...'
'She does, Faith. I found her present to him.
My sister finally found someone stupid enough to date her!'
'Can we concentrate on the battle? Devil down
there, big fight, Heaven and Hell, you know. Dawn, the Devil wants your soul,
that's why they're fighting!'
So much for not sharing.
Ok, all the focus off of me, please.
Dawn looks over to Dis and Lucy, who are talking
and signing papers.
What is it about paperwork?
'Why does the Devil want my soul? Bet you made
a pact with her, Buffy! That'd be right, sacrifice me to save yourself. I
hate you!'
She storms off, over to Elle, who gives her
a big hug.
I'm so going to wake up in a minute, all sweaty
and suffering from some crappy, nightmare, inducing disease.
Hello, time to wake up now; now?
I want to wake up now!
'That was cruel, B, telling her like that.'
Arghhhhh!
'Will everyone stop picking on me!'
'Sure, I'll stop picking on you. I'll leave
you to think some more about your boy.'
With that she stalks off, round the otherside
of the enclosure we're in, and shouts for Dis to rip some of Lucy's hair out
for a cushion.
This has got to be, officially, the worse day
of my life!
Discord's POV
'Sign there, and there, and there, initial
there and there, oh, and there. That's the paperwork done with then, Disclawed.
Don't want you hauling me through the courts because I sliced your head off
now, do we? So...'
She leg sweeps me, and I end up flat on the
floor.
Fuck, she plays dirty!
I manage to backflip up and away from her,
as she drives the sword into the floor, where I just was.
'...time we got started. Did I take you by
surprise, Dishcloth?'
Lucy, I know you can hear me; I'm going to
rip you a new asshole!
'Oh, something to look forward to then!'
She flies at me, but I slap her away.
Instead of flying back, she hovers in the air
and softly lands on the floor.
Fuck!
'You promising me one of those as well, Dizzy?'
'If you think you can handle it, Luce. I know
you've got a soft spot for me, and heck, if you can't remember where it is,
then let me help you out.'
I drop, roll towards her, kneel up
under her rib cage and slam my fingers, straight into her chest.
'There's that soft spot, Luce, real squishy;
nice!'
I rip my hand out, and flip off to the far
corner of the ring, next to Elle.
'Oh, that's one of her favourite tops, Dizzy,
she's not going to be happy.'
'Boo-hoo. You got any tips for me Elle? Anything
considered.'
Anything, fucking considered about
now, 'cause the Devil's beginning to look like she's going to be a bit of
a handful!
Faith's POV
Yeah, I'll leave Buffy to be thinking some
more about her fuckin' boytoy.
Screw her!
I concentrate on the fight, trying to take
my mind off her.
Just then, Dis stabs her fingers right into
Lucy's chest.
Shit man, that had to hurt!
Woah, look at her face, she's pissed.
So would I, if someone ripped a hole right
through a top like that.
But then, I wouldn't be stupid enough to wear
it to a fight.
Lucy flies over to me in a split second, and
sits on a low barrier in front of me.
Yeah, lucky we're separated by metal!
'Did you say stupid, Faith? A girl's got to
look her best. Like my leathers? You inspired me. My offer still stands about
you joining...'
All of a sudden, Dis runs up behind her, grabs
her and throws her away.
'Don't speak to my fam, unless they speak to
you first, Luce, got it?'
'You have a real rough touch Dis, bet Elle
like that, well, from what I remember she does anyway.'
Does she mean what I think she means?
'Shit, Dis, you bein' screwing the big G? Way
to get laid!'
'Faith! We only did it a few times! Look,
I have to go. Speak to you later, sort of busy at the moment.'
I feel like there should be cameras all over
the place, like some huge Tyson fight.
Dis'll kick her fuckin' ass though.
From what I've seen of the Devil she ain't
all that.
Then, as that thought leaves my mind, Lucy
twirls her sword round and slams it straight through Dis.
'No!'
I try and get over the metal enclosure, onto
the floor, to help her, but then I feel a stabbing pain in my stomach to!
Shit!
I lift my top up, but there's no wound there;
fuck it hurts!
I hear Elle shouting, as I try to push myself
up.
'Lucy? Did you bind them together? Take it
off, right now! I mean it, don't make me quote rules and subsections to you!'
I see Lucy, out of the corner of eye, she clicks
her fingers and the pains gone.
Shit man, that's a ride I don't want tickets
on next time.
Now get up and get in there and help Dis!
'Let me the fuck out of here, Elle!'
She looks at me and shakes her head.
'I can't let you in there, Faith. Not allowed,
rules are rules.'
Dawn and Buffy are both staring at Dis, as
she sinks to her knees, then to the floor.
'Fuck you all, I'm helping my cuz.'
And with every bit of strength I've got, I
rip a hole in the thick, metal, mesh and jump onto the floor.
I might only be a Slayer, and she might be
the Devil, but now I'm pissed.
'Hey, bitch, come and get some if you
think you're hard enough!