Disclaimers: Joss owns att the BTVS characters, not me. I make no claims.
Title: No Doubt own it, not me. Gwen rocks my trainer socks off.
Me: I own Discord, poor little lamb, totally out of her depth.
Authors Comments: The strangest thing was, I chose all these titles before I wrote the fics. This fic will not work as well unless you read it on the web, in html format.
Kudos: Thank you to Wlfgrrl for supplying the following quote.
 
"Every sad ending eventually becomes happy. A sad ending is only so because the author stopped telling the story. But it still goes on... it's just untold."
From 'Twin Falls Idaho'
 
Yes, the blank bits are meant to be there
 
Buffy's POV
 
Slayers Do Christmas L -  I Want To Love You, But I Can't Seem To Find Myself
 
Presents; check.
Munchies; check.
Nice underwear; Ooo, check!
Faith's door; check.
 
I knock and wait; and wait.
The lights on, I can see it.
So, I knock again, after a little while longer I knock again.
Come on!
Hey, here we... what the...?
 
'Dis? What's happened, you're covered in blood! Are you ok?!'
 
She's standing, shaking, with big wide eyes.
 
'It's... Faith.'
 
Faith?
Faith!
 
I push past her, and run inside.
She's not here, where is she, what happened?!
 
'Where is she, Dis, is she ok, what happened, did Lucy...?'
 
'Not Lucy, it was... I didn't mean to... she just...'
 
'What the fuck did you do to her?!!'
 
'Nothing! She just...man, she flipped, like flipped, she's in the bedroom. I don't know what to do. She fucking flipped, went crazy, I was trying to teach her not to play with knives and she...'
 
I don't wait to hear the rest, I run into the bedroom and over to the bed, where she's lying.
I stop dead, she's covered in blood, and sweat and she's staring at the ceiling, all still, just staring.
 
'What did you do to her?!'
 
I do a quick check, to see where the bloods coming from, but I don't think it's hers, can't see any wounds.
She doesn't even move as I wipe her hair back from her face.
She's hardly blinking.
Why isn't she blinking?
What's happened?
 
'Faith? Hey, Faith, can you hear me? It's Buffy.'
 
She doesn't move, not at all.
Don't panic, don't panic, stay calm, stay calm!
 
'Faith, can you look at me, please, you're scaring me. It's Buffy, everything's ok now. You're safe now, I'm here.'
 
Faith's POV
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
Discord's POV
 
I was trying to teach her.
You don't play with knives, 'cause... don't play with knives, she shouldn't be...
A flash of light beside me, but I don't move, I don't look, I don't care.
I'm shaking, like I'm cold, but I'm not, I'm not cold.
 
'Dizzy? Look at you. I'm so sorry.'
 
Her arms round me, but I don't move.
Shaking, I can't stop from fucking shaking.
What did I do to her?!
 
Her voice, close to my ear, warm; I am cold.
 
'You didn't do this. Shhh, it's ok.'
 
What?
And I realise I'm crying again.
I get up, pushing her off me.
Then it hits me, she warned me.
She warned me!
 
I turn round, anger boiling up inside me.
 
'You knew this was going to happen! You warned me! You fucking bitch!'
 
'Dizzy, I can't change the past. If this hadn't happened now, it would have happened in a few weeks time. It's better that you were here and not Buffy. I'm not going to tell you what you prevented, but I think you can guess.'
 
She stands up and moves over to me, and she looks so sad.
So sad.
 
'I don't understand what happened though, why she... why did she, I don't get it, I don't fucking get it, Elle.'
 
'I can't tell you, she has to do that herself. It's her past, she has to have the option of telling you or not. I can't interfere, you know...'
 
'Fuck you and not interfering! Fuck it. I know the power you hold, shit, you're God, the God, ruler of everything, you could wipe everyone off the face of the planet if you wanted to! So screw your not interfering!'
 
'Everyone has a destiny to fulfil, you know that. If we change things then it ruins the plan. It could disrupt...'
 
I walk right up to her.
Yeah, right up to you, Elle, God, your eminence!
 
'I don't care about it anymore, none of it, you hear me? God, all things divine? Get out of my sight, now.'
 
'Dizzy, calm down and...'
 
'I said, go!'
 
She opens her mouth, as if to say something, but I think the look on my face stopped her.
Then she's gone in a split second.
 
I stand, still, and try to stop shaking.
I just need to stop shaking.
 
Buffy's POV
 
I'm stroking her hair and she's blinking again.
That's good, right, I mean, that's good, but if it's good then why don't I feel any better?
 
'Faith, hey you. What's going on in there?'
 
I touch a finger gently to her temple and she flinches slightly, making me pull back.
What happened to her?
Where is she?
 
Then she moves her mouth, just a bit, but I caught it.
She moved!
 
'Faith, it's me, Buffy, you remember; blonde, Slayer, madly in love with you, babbles a lot, steals your cigarettes, makes you get her water in the middle of the night? Buffy, me, you remember, right?'
 
Faith's POV
 
'... Buffy, me, you remember, right?'
 
You're not her.
 
Can't fool me.
 
 
I'm Faith, the Vampire Sl...
 
Buffy's POV
 
'Faith, you're really scaring me, please, say something, anything, please?'
 
She doesn't move.
Her breathing steady's some more, she's not so pale now, looks better.
She's... she looks better, that's good, right?
I don't know what to do, what do I do?
 
Dis!
 
'Faith, I'm going to get Dis. I'm coming back for you. I'll be back.'
 
Faith's POV
 
'I'm coming back for you. I'll be back.'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
No, please...
 
Discord's POV
 
I don't even know when she came back in the room, but she's here, in front of me, Buffy.
 
'What the fuck happened?'
 
'I, I don't know. We were, we had a row about me going, she ran off. Came back, she'd been drinking. Then... she got a knife and... I was trying to show her not to fuck about with them but... she started freaking, just freaking out, and I couldn't do anything, she was screaming at me, punching out, she went mad! I didn't hit her, it's my blood, Buffy, mine, I tried not to hurt her, she... I couldn't control her, she went mad, then she stopped. Stopped, not moving, like how she is now. She couldn't hear me; before, the fight, she couldn't hear me. Was like I wasn't even there. I didn't hurt her, it's my blood, look, see, mine.'
 
I point to my neck to show her it's mine, not Faith's.
 
'Dis, I don't know what to do. Can't you get help from Elle or something, please?!'
 
'She was here, a minute ago. She said Faith had to deal with it, that it's her past, that she can't interfere.'
 
'Can't interfere? What the...'
 
'I know. I'm sorry.'
 
'Ok, can you get some towels and water so I can clean her up? You need some cleaning to. I'm going back in there with her. You ok?'
 
Ok?
Am I ok?
No, no I'm not, I'm not ok, I'm no where near ok, no where fucking near!
 
'Sure. I'll get the stuff.'
 
Buffy's POV
 
'Hey, Faith, Dis is going to help me clean the blood off you, ok? We're not going to hurt you. It's me, Buffy and you know I'm not going to hurt you.'
 
She's still not moving.
Why isn't she moving?
I kneel down, next to the bed, and gently stroke her hair, just how she likes me to, just that way.
 
'Faith, It's me, Buffy. You're ok now. I'm here.'
 
Faith's POV
 
'Faith, It's me, Buffy. You're ok now. I'm here.'
 
I'm Faith...
 
 
 
 
 
I'm ok now...?
 
 
B, help me...

 

 

To Be Continued in Slayers Do Total Recall