Disclaimers: Joss owns them, not me. I make no claims.
Comments: Discord is mine. I own her completely.
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 16.12.01
Dedications: To 'Veruca Salt', the best friend a girl could have.
Title: Marion own the line from 'Sleep'. It made me laugh.
 
Buffy's POV
 
Slayers Do Christmas VIII - Too Much Spandex On The Brain
 
It was all a blur.
Me meeting that leather clad, six foot tall, Xena look-a-like.
I remember saying hi, then bye, and now I'm on my way back home.
 
I mean, how do I compete with her?!
I can't.
She's everything I'm not.
Tall for one.
I bet Faith loves that, all that leg to work up.
Then there's the hair, I mean, she has to dye it.
Bet she does, and she probably gets the dye all over the towels.
And the leather.
At least they can't share clothes, ha, too leggy!
Me and Faith can share clothes, well ok, she'd rather walk around naked than wear anything of mine. But we could share clothes, if we wanted.
Well tops, we could share tops.
 
I look down at my cleavage and realise that we couldn't share tops.
She'd burst all the buttons on my shirts.
 
This is just fantastic!
She's beaten me on everything.
Everything!
 
I may as well give up the fight now.
That's it!
I'm a better fighter.
I'm the Slayer, the Chosen one, ok, one of the Chosen ones.
Bet I could kick her ass, even if she fights like Xena.
Although, if she has a chakram I'll have to get some practise in, as she could take my eye out with one of those.
 
Does that mean Faith's her Gabrielle?
A laugh comes out of my throat and I'm glad no-one's about to hear it.
 
Faith as Gabrielle?
Oh, please!
 
Why am I thinking about all of this?
Faith almost kissed me.
Me, not Xena, I mean Dis.
Dis; see, stupid name!
Stupid name for a stupid person.
A stupid person who's probably groping Faith right now!
 
I turn around and head back to Faith's apartment.
 
Faith's POV
 
'Get your feet off the table, Faith!'
 
Shit, it's like living with my mom.
Except without the alcohol or stream of losers.
 
'It's my fuckin' table, Dis!'
 
'Watch your mouth as well.'
 
Jeezus!
 
'Fuck off.'
 
'Faith! Cut down on the cursing, you'll never get in with Buffy's mom if you sound like you were born in the gutter.'
 
Ok, she wins that small point; maybe.
I don't curse that much do I?
Shit I do, oh fuck there's another.
Listen to me, I really do curse loads.
Crap.
 
'She's cute.'
 
'Who?'
 
'Buffy, you idiot! Buffy's cute. Jezus, Faith, I hope you plug your brain in when you hang out with her.'
 
'She is cute, isn't she.'
 
I lean back in my chair and think about Buffy Summers.
All blonde hair and cute face and...
 
'She good in bed?'
 
'DIS! Shut the fuck up! Like I'm gonna tell you if she was.'
 
'Kidding, I was checking to see if you were listening, or zoning out thinking about her hair or some other stuff like that.'
 
How does she do that?
She always knows what I'm thinking.
 
'I wasn't thinking about her hair, Dis. I was, you know, trying to figure out what to do tomorrow. Like, something cool.'
 
I want to do something special with her.
Something more than the usual movie or pizza.
Shit, I think I want to do something romantic with her.
 
'You want to do something romantic with her, Faith?'
 
'Stop listening to my thoughts will you!'
 
'Faith, your heads like a sea-shell. I'd listen to it and hear a load of fuzzy, white noise. Look, it's getting late. I'm going to bed, or is that, I'm going to the sofa?'
 
'I'll take the sofa, Dis. I'm not tired anyway. Speak to you in the morning. Night.'
 
She leans down, plants a kiss on top of my head, and walks into my room, leaving me to my thoughts.
 
Buffy's POV
 
I'm going to show that... stripping Xena that I'm not giving up without a fight!
 
I pound my fist against Faith's door and wait.
The door opens almost right away.
At least it's Faith, and not that girl!
 
'B, what's up? Has something happened?'
 
'Can I come in? I have stuff to say, and I don't want that weird old lady across the hall listening in.'
 
She steps aside and I walk past her.
Hmm, where is she?
The bedroom door opens and she walks out, in just bed shorts and a tiny top!
Ok, she's muscley, so what, I'm the Slayer.
I killed Dracula, I can deal with Xena!
 
'Buffy? What's going on? I heard banging.'
 
'That would be because of me. I was banging, which is why you heard it. Look, now you're both here I want to know what's going on, Faith?!'
 
'Huh? What's going on? Don't get you, B.'
 
Faith looks at me like I'm talking French or some other obscure language.
Xena pretty much looks the same, but she would, she's just thinking about what she's going to do to my Faith when I go!
Well I. Don't. Think. So, missy.
 
'What's going on between you two?! That's what I mean. You come over to mine, Faith. All "I'm sorry, B." Then try to kiss me, when you've got Xena stashed away in your bedroom! I want answers, and I want them now!'
 
Silence.
I look at Faith and her mouths hanging open.
So I glance over at Xena, and she's looking at the floor with this huge big grin on her face.
 
'Is something funny, Xena? I mean, share, 'cause I could do with a laugh about now.'
 
'Discord, my name's Discord.'
 
'Whatever.'
 
I brush her off with my hand, and turn back to Faith.
 
'Well? Sorry, do you want me to leave so you two can get back to it?'
 
She's still just looking at me, and then she does something that makes me want to punch her lights out.
 
She laughs, like, bent over laughing, holding her stomach and everything.
Oh, yeah, hilarious; not!
 
I guess this is my queue to leave them to the lovin'.
I storm out, slamming her front door and start the long walk back to mine.
 
Faith Knight, can go and throw herself off a cliff for all I care!