Disclaimers: Joss owns all
the BTVS characters, not me. I make no claims.
Me: I own all other people
in this fic. No you may not take them.
Title: From the poem 'Let
Me Fall' by Anonymous Writer. Danke.
Dedications: To Sway, her
bikini and a windy beach *wink*. Come back soon.
Romans 3:22
"This righteousness from God comes
through faith..."
Faith's POV
Slayers Do Total Recall XIII - Sealed,
Like A Letter That's Lost Without An Address
It's better this way.
I need to get my stuff and go, get away from...
B just needs to get used to...
We can, I mean, she can get over it.
Give her a few weeks and she'll be cool.
'Faith? Do you have to go now? Can't
you wait a day or. Maybe a few hours, so we can say goodbye?'
I feel the tears behind my eyes, but I'm not
going to cry, 'cause I've done enough of it already.
I've cried too much.
Too fuckin' much.
'It's better this way, if I go now.'
Get your stuff and get going, Faith.
Come on, what you waiting for?
'What, if you totally block me out? Better
that way? Yeah, s'pose it's easier, for you.'
Don't look at her, you look at her and you'll
start to cave.
Don't look back.
That's it, get your stuff and... just get packed
up.
You can buy whatever you don't have.
'I only want to help you, Faith.'
I feel myself spin round, and I scream at her.
But I don't mean to, I can't seem to stop myself
from doing stuff.
'Why'd you want to help me? You're
better off without me, B. Get over it and get someone... shit, get someone
nice, someone normal.'
Part of me fuckin' regrets saying it, but that's
not the part that's in control of my mouth right about now.
I need to get out and away from here and I'll
be ok.
'You are nice and you are
normal.'
She looks at me, like I'm breaking her heart,
and the thing is, I know I am.
But I can't stop myself, from saying stuff,
I don't even realise it's coming out of my mouth 'til it has.
Then it's all too late.
'No I'm not, B. I'm...'
'What?'
Don't cry!
I wipe my eyes, trying to get the tears off
my face.
Stop crying!
'I...'
Her arms close round me, and I want to push
her off.
Tell her not to touch me, or she'll get covered
in it to.
'What Faith? Tell me.'
'I feel... I feel dirty, it's all over me and
I can't get it off. Like, I'm covered in... covered in him. Everytime I close
my eyes, it's like it's crawling over me, in me, in my head. I feel.
Cheap. Dirty. Disgusting. I need to go!'
I push her off me.
She's making me think about it, and I don't
want to!
I don't want to think about it.
I want to forget, make like it never happened.
And I can't do that if she's with me.
'Faith, wait...'
'No! You're making me think about. Stuff. I
can't... I can't be around you.'
She looks so sad, but I can't stop saying shit.
Then she starts crying and I don't know what
to do.
I want to make her stop, you know, tell her
I'm ok, that I didn't mean any of it.
But it's too late now.
It's all too late.
Discord's POV
Ok, got all my stuff.
Shit, briefcase!
Damn, if I'd forgotten this Elle would have
skinned my alive, not that I couldn't have grown it all back, but still, ain't
nice; it's cold for one.
Then that picture of Faith comes back into
my head, when she was little, all smiley at the camera.
And I have to grit my teeth to stop from crying,
she's standing there, smiling and it's not right, this whole thing isn't right!
'Hey, Dis. I'm ready.'
'Shit, you made me jump! Where's Buffy?'
Cool it Dis, cool it and be calm.
You acting like a spaz isn't going to help.
'Dunno, come on lets get.'
'Faith, relax. Why are you being shitty to
her? She's trying to help you.'
'Whatever.'
She crosses her arms over her chest and concentrates
on something out the window.
I try not to look at her 'cause otherwise I'll
start crying and she'll know that I know.
I don't want her to, she'll start acting weird
around me.
Not what she needs right now.
'Yeah, well I'm going to say bye to her. Give
her my number, wait here, yeah?'
'Whatever.'
No use fighting her, not after everything that's
gone on.
She's shut down and no amount of prodding from
me's going to bring her back.
Then Buffy's here, and man, she looks upset.
Yeah, Dis, 'cause she's going to be real
happy to see her honey go!
I give her a big hug and whisper in her ear,
so Faith doesn't hear me.
'Buffy, look, I've left my address and number
on the side. Call me tomorrow, or... call whenever, yeah? I'll look after
your girl. She'll be back, ok? Hang tough.'
She nods as I let go of her.
This whole thing's so fucked up!
'I'll take the stuff down Faith. Give you two
some time alone. Don't rush, I've got a new cd, I'm cool for an hour or so.'
And with that I pick all our stuff up and take
it out to the car.
Man, this really, really sucks.
Guess you can't always believe that
love will solve everything.