Kitty's Pad - Slayers Do Total Recall

Disclaimers: Joss owns them, not me. I make no claims, not a single one.

Title: Natalie Imbruglia owns it. It's from 'Do You Love'. It's my new cd, so here's my next 30 titles.

Authors Comments: Just when you think everything's going well... shucks.

Dedications: To Chantal, for she knows how draining the subject matter is.

Faith's POV

Slayers Do Total Recall XXV - Do You Love? Do You Need Love?

Everything.

You fuck up everything!

Can't keep it going, can you?

Shit.

I press redial and call her again, but it goes right to the answer machine.

'Hi, it's me, and if you don't know who me is, then you have the wrong number, so hang up. If you do know who me is, then leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Bye!'

'B, look, I'm sorry. Can you give me a call back? Please?'

I gotta have a smoke, like big time gotta have a smoke.

Five minutes later, and she's still not called back.

Fuck.

I press redial, again.

Answer machine, again.

'Hey, just me. I didn't mean to be... you know, nasty to you. Call me back when you get this, yeah?'

Now I'm pacing again.

Back and forth.

I lose myself in my thoughts for a good while, before I pull back out.

What time is it?

An hour?!

She still hasn't fuckin' called me back?

She's so stubborn!

This isn't all me, it's not.

Stop trying to shift the guilt, Faith.

It is you; it's always you, you're always the one to screw things up.

Always.

I speed dial her; again.

Jeez, switch your phone on!!

'B, give me a break, come on, ring me back. Please? I'm an asshole, I know! I'm feeling bad here, wearing a hole in my floor pacing. I'm sorry for asking you to leave, I am, honest. I got scared, you know, I was scared. Look, I'm not gonna go all, confessions of a mental patient on your phone. Ring me back, or at least switch your phone on! Speak to you soon; maybe?'

I sit down and stare at the phone, but it doesn't ring.

It's not late, she's not asleep, I know she's not!

So I wait, I pace, I smoke, I flick through every channel on cable; but she's still not called me back.

She always calls me back.

Even when I'm a major idiot; she always calls me back!

And that's when I realise; things are changing, and maybe she's not gonna be calling me back anymore.

I slam the phone down, hard.

Fuck her!

I'm not crawling round anyone!

If I don't want to do something, then I don't do it.

Simple.

I want her out of my place?

Then she goes!

I don't need to explain myself to anyone.

I'm Faith, and she needs to remember who she's dealing with.

Buffy's POV

Go. To. Sleep!

I can't.

I can't sleep!

Damn it.

I shouldn't be feeling bad, this wasn't me, this was her!

But it's not about that; it's not about whose fault it is.

You know, I don't even know what it is about, anymore.

No, I do know.

It's about what it always has been; two people in love, not talking to each other.

Crap!

I grab my phone and switch it on.

Why did I get this ancient thing?

It takes forever to power up.

Come on, come on!

Ok; oh, no messages?

I don't mean to, but I start to get all angry, because she's not called me.

She's probably watching TV, and doesn't care a single bit.

Not like me, I'm all; I can't sleep, no siree bob, I'm restless and worried.

No, I'm not calling her.

For once I'm not going to cave.

My fingers move over the buttons.

No, don't you dare push the speed dial; no, don't, I mean it fingers!

There, the phones all out of the way of bad hands who want to give in.

Well, that's one thing that's not going to happen tonight.

I'm not caving!